From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
Aurelia's standing on the beach with her arms folded over her chest. She awaits Milo's arrival patiently - more or less. She doesn't want to start without him but...
There's a large fire that's taken to the wood she's fed it, emitting light across the beach. A matchbox and a half-empty pack of cigarettes lay in the sand nearby. She hasn't brought much else with her. Knives, daggers, tonfas, and the bow; her more permanent possessions remain on the Ark. Today (if it can be called 'day'), she's intent to work on something else entirely.
There's a cigarette between her fingers and a hard expression on her face. The fire is little else to Aurelia than a symbol of everything she hates about herself, about her past. All it's good for is destruction, and by extension...
I have to try, at least, she reminds herself.
Her gaze settles hard on her cigarette. The cherry prickles along, burning slowly, as embers do. She wills something to happen. A confirmation that this is real, at the very least, but nothing really changes. It continues to smolder at that same, slow pace any cigarette would. The pinch between her brows deepens.
"C'mon, do something," a spark, a crackle- fuck it, an explosion!
...
Failed attempts like this one are made over and over - to an exhaustive point. Until her hope starts to truly dissipate, until it all feels so utterly pointless, until she questions whether or not she should've even attempted this without Milo there to help. Then... the cigarette goes out in a tiny wisp of smoke.
Her grip tightens around the filter and her lips twist in irritation.
"Fine! I didn't wanna smoke you anyway!" She throws the remains into the fire with dramatic flare. Her arms tuck back in across her chest and she glares indignantly into the flames.
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
He’s late. For good reason, of course, because he wouldn’t be so late otherwise. But rumor had sparked in the darkest and longest of nights, and Milo needed to prepare some things, ensure that he could have it all in order in case Zeph asked him for anything else. For now, however, it’s silent on that end, the Lullaby called to deal with the threat, and Milo? Milo can’t keep the tightness from his face as he arrives, a few things brought with him, namely targets.
She might have weapons, but Milo dealt with magic the most, after all.
“Sorry ‘m late.” He calls out to her, scanning over her to ensure that she’s okay even if she’s grumpily staring into the flames. He supposes that makes two of them, his gaze flicking back to the space they’d designated to be their training ring for the day (night?). “We’re gonna start slow.” He informs her, his mannerisms tense and completely at odds from how he typically was. He makes no comment on it, not as he pulls the bag from his shoulder and pulls out the targets to place them up.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
Milo makes his appearance, bringing things with him. For any normal session, which she's very familiar with, she'd give him a beaming appreciation for the forethought. However, as her gaze slides slowly towards him, there's no flicker of excitement - she doesn't even comment on his late appearance, taking it that he probably got tangled up in some more ropes (figuratively speaking).
There's too much conflict lurching around inside of her like a teeter-totter.
She notices his rigid body language, the unexpected darkness in his expression. There's something unreadable going on behind his eyes. It pulls her down further for a moment, makes her wonder if he doesn't want to do this after all. If he still doesn't trust her not to hurt him.
Her throat strains to prompt out words that feel heavy, far more reticent than the verbal assault at her cigarette, "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to..." Green eyes catch up to the targets he's putting up and her scarred arms drop down to her sides. She is not looking forward to this at all, and she hasn't got a clue about recent events pertaining to a certain attuned governor.
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
He sets up the targets, setting the bag to the side and out of the way, rounding out back toward Aurelia with that same, hard edge to his gaze. Her words are softer, and his head tilts, a half smile though it feels forced, creeps up along his face. “What? No, I do want to.” He tells her, meaning every word of it, the honesty dripping from his tone.
“There… Was a probl’m up on Aumakua. Had t’talk t’Zeph.” He doesn’t want to tell her the rumor right away, not with how he knows she’s friends with him – that the attuned could turn like this on those he’s closest to. It makes him worry for her, but Zeph had assured him that the death demi-god had been called, that things would be figured out and rightened again soon enough.
Still didn’t help the sinking pit in his stomach. “Start with yer breathin’.” He instructs her, moving to stand beside her, making a count of his breaths as he focuses on the magic that stirs within him.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
She relaxes a little, leaning back on her heels, but a disappointed frown builds into her expression. Some small part of her had hoped he wouldn't want to anymore so she could subtly avoid this. She's about to say something to admit that when he tells her there was a problem on Aumakua.
Her demeanor shifts into something more concerned with the outside world rather than what's going on within her. More importantly, his statement confuses her. Aumakua? That's where Sunjata and Melita live... She looks over her shoulder, out across the coast towards where she knows the lighthouse stands as a beacon.
Milo seems intent to focus on the matter at current hand. Whatever irritation she felt moments ago is gone now... but her self-doubt is still roiling around. "Breathing, got it," she does her best to listen to him and concentrate on steadying herself. But... she can't help to pause and ask, "Is everything okay?"
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
He doesn’t miss her glance toward the cliffs, toward who they both know live in that direction. And for a moment, he regrets bringing it up – but given his terrible mood, well, he supposes it’s only fair that she ask. So they start with breathing, a few slow draws in, a few slow exhales, reaching for the magic that stirs within his soul, about to open his mouth and instruct Aurelia for what she should be feeling when her voice pipes up.
His honeyed brown gaze drifts toward her with a nod as he finishes his slow exhale. “It’s bein’ taken care of.” He says, because that’s as much as he knows. If Remi was on it, Milo had no doubt that things would be figured out, the truth revealed. It still hadn’t helped how shaken Zeph had been, how shaken they all had been. How shaken Milo still is now, to imagine his governor capable of such things.
“Try t’breathe evenly ‘n feel for somethin’ stirrin’ in yer soul. Like… A thread ‘r a well ‘r somethin’.” He instructs, picking up his breathing again, unsure how to ask her if Sunjata had been acting strange recently – unsure if he wants to even bring it up.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
His answer should be calming but the look in his eyes remains the same, so Aurelia's very tempted to press the issue. Her hand subconsciously goes to rest on his arm and her eyes ask all the questions she wants to. But... something about how he's trying to hyperfocus on this tells her that maybe he needs this as much as she does. Sometimes a distraction, for a little while, can be helpful. So she bites her tongue and nods slowly.
Something stirring in your soul. One corner of her lips curls up in spite of the lingering worry.
The half-smile is soon gone as she searches for that chord within herself, her hand falling away from Milo as she straightens her stance and pulls in one of those deliberate breaths. And she searches, or she thinks she does, but as soon as she gives way to this exercise all of her other worries spring forth.
She can't find it at first; that string or tether he speaks of. There's nothing stirring within her, nothing but the beat of her own heart pulsing through her veins. She can feel that, can even hear it echoing in her ears, but... whatever magic she has, it's not actively pulsing around within her, waiting to be let out.
Her concentration snaps and she lets out a frustrated sigh, closing her eyes.
"I... can't feel anything," her eyes blink back open and she stares over at the fire. There's a slightly aggravated bark in her voice as she points out, "I was trying to do this while I waited for you but nothing happened..." her tone fades into something more defeated and her eyes lower, "To be honest, I don't know if I can really do this."
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
Her hand on his arm is a nice boon, one that he covers momentarily with his own hand before he’s diving into the instruction, keeping his hands before him to help avoid any other distractions. His palms are upright, his eyes closed, his breathing even as he focuses for that chord, that string to be pulled and taken from that has him summoning. Perhaps it’s different for Aurelia, no summoning or healing to be found, but elemental in nature. But still, he tries.
A small pale moth is created, sitting in his hand with the fluttering of wings, when he jolts a bit at her words – wooshing out a sigh as he sends the moth up into the sky, into the dark, to disappear again as he peers back at her, turning to face her. “Y’gotta push everythin’ else outta yer mind.” Maybe that’s why he hasn’t told her yet, because it’s something that would strike those distractions within her.
But then he remembers a night spent with her, on the beach, beside a roaring flame that sparked to life when they’d kissed. Internally, he curses himself for not realizing it earlier, the way her emotions are tied with the flame. “Y’can. You’ve done it before.” He assures her, offering her a small smile before he’s focused intently on her, wondering if this would work.
“’m gonna tell ya somethin’. I wantcha t’try and reach fer the fire magic. Yer gonna… Be upset, but jus’ try. A’ight?” He asks, not entirely giving her a chance to respond to him as he paves the way forth. “Rumor’s goin’ round that th’Biter – er, Gov’ner beat Vai pretty bad. We… Dunno why. People saw ‘im, said it sounded like ‘im.”
And then he waits for the flames.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
The moth he creates is striking, a white light in the dark. It captures her attention momentarily, as she watches it flit through the dark air until it eventually disappears out of vision - or simply fades. She wonders what happens to the things he summons, but saves that question for later as he draws her attention back to him.
She faces him with some hesitance, feeling ridiculous, feeling uncertain, feeling... like this is wrong. Like this is the exact opposite kind of magic for her. Maybe if she had something like summoning, it might come more easily. Her and fire? Aurelia's spent her entire life grieving over the things it's taken from her, deprived her of.
Her brows lift incredulously, "I... have?" The question comes out quietly in the face of something more important he seems to want to tell her. But her expression remains the same, skeptical, until he brings up Sunjata and a bad rumor surrounding him.
The fire is almost forgotten and, in her anger, she wants to completely set that aside and go marching across the Aumakua to get answers. But she breathes in deep, chest muscles flexing with the tense motion, and tries to do what he's told her. She focuses on that tether while she's also thinking about the fact that now her friend is being accused of something she doesn't believe he'd do.
"Well, he didn't. I don't know Vai personally but she went to his wedding, and it didn't look like he had any sort of problem with her. You were there, there was nothing... they looked like close friends. The only person that made anything seem off was... that guy. Zeph's friend, or whatever." She says almost right away, but she can feel her anxiety rising. Secondhand anxiety. That and a rising suspicion of how this unexpected situation seems to be unfurling. Something else comes with it, though, and she attempts to coax it up further. But that also involves her emotions coming with it. What exactly was- "Wait! You said it's being taken care of? What does that even mean? What are they doing to him based off of a rumor?"
As she's speaking, the fire takes on a different, unnatural motion and burns into the wood more fiercely, as if digging in its fiery claws. Rather than normally being completely oblivious to this, Aurelia's all too aware of the effect she seems to be having. And she's not sure if she likes it. So as she eyes the fire, her anger fades for that moment, and so does the magic.
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
A nod is given in confirmation that she has before, as he goes into paving the way of lighting her emotions, of telling her what the problem was, watching and waiting and drawing back to look at the fire as she speaks. His lips form a tight line, and he glances to her at the mention of “Zeph’s friend” of whom Milo hasn’t talked to, but the man seemed fine. And he trusted Zeph to know who his friends were, after all, Zeph had practically raised him while his father was away on the fishing boats.
So he puffs out a quiet breath, nodding to her. “Nobody knows why.” He informs her, offering her the little tidbits he can to try and see if she can continue to keep the flaming spark alive, that tether. “But Vai said it was ‘im.” He offers, shrugging lightly, offering her a slight frown, knowing how close she and the Governor were, but he doesn’t know much more than that.
As for it being taken care of, his head quirks, brows drawing together in a slight pinch. “Meanin’ they’re gonna find out if he did it.” The logical step, though Milo doesn’t know what Remi has in store. The bottom line of Torchline, however, had always been an eye for an eye. As far as Milo knows, they’re probably roughing him up a bit, trying to get him to confess whether he did it or not.
But his gaze falls on the fire, on the way it had warred and now it sat dim, his honeyed gaze slipping back to her, a hand outstretched for her arm. “Reach into that… Anger ‘r surprise. Try ‘n pull it out again.” He suggests, trying to pull her into standing beside him, offering her a soft smile even if it doesn’t entirely meet his eyes.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
All of these little things that Milo adds do fan the flame, each sentence making the situation seem that much worse. And how could she not have known? Was she really so self-absorbed? She's been wrapped up in problems that feel so small in comparison to this. Her lungs feel like they're being squeezed, short breaths flaring from her nostrils, eyes dancing around as she pieces what he's telling her together.
She knows what he means by 'find out if he did it'. She's all too familiar with that sort of justice... and now it's only filled her with regret. "There's no way... this is insane," she murmurs, disbelieving. I have to help him. He didn't do it... but her faith cracks with the question that everyone's asking, did he?
Milo's hand reaches for her and she doesn't know how to react. Instinctively she wants to pull away from him and go to her friend's aid, but... would it do anything? Would her good word matter against someone like Zephyr, who's known the governor for far longer and, as well, lived in Caido his whole life. That feeling of being unable to help no matter what she does- no, no it's not even that. It's having to accept that she can't do anything about it that coaxes her inner flame again.
She has to let go of what's holding her back, has to let everything else fall away - except for what matters most. Milo's touch brings her back to that reality, a glaringly obvious reminder that the past is just that. The past. She doesn't need to repeat it, she doesn't need to let fire wreak havoc on her world anymore. She can control it now, can decide who or what it turns to ash.
Her hands, which have balled up into fists she didn't even notice, finally relax. A determined expression falls over her and she lifts an open hand up, while her own mental grip on her tether is squeezing until its knuckles are white. For the first time, she wants the flame. She wants it right where she can see it, right in front of her.
Some darker part of her dares it to take her down, tear her apart. The flames crackle and sway towards her in response, until suddenly a swath of it wrestles through the air towards her as if snagged by something invisible. It's a wild blaze of snarling fire that sweeps into her, stopping just short of making contact.
She immediately jumps back against Milo. The tether is let go of completely as she lets out a shocked "Ah!" The flames dissipate into the dark air with nothing to hold onto.
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
There’s a low hum that leaves Milo in agreement, a huff of sound that says that he believes her in how strange it was, how unbelievable – but Milo trusts Zephyr, and in turn, he trusts Vai. If what they say happened, then he’s more inclined to trust them over anyone else. But he doesn’t voice it, he simply nods, urges her to try and reach for the flame again – watching with baited breath and brighter honeyed eyes as she takes up a stance and he moves to get a better view of the flame.
He reminds her of her breathing, as well, though he’s quiet. He knows how long it could take occasionally before you got your tether under wraps, until you could pluck those strings to do what you needed them to do. So he doesn’t care how long it takes, only that when her palm faces upward and a tendril of flame snakes into it, he wants to cheer and whoop for her accomplishment.
He doesn’t, though, because he knows it’s fire. And he knows how she feels about fire.
So he’s there to catch her as she jumps back against him, hands reaching out to rest on her, to steady her – though the grin is bright on her face. “Good, ‘relia. Real good.” Milo offers to her, flashing her a smile. “Now try ‘n do it again.”
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
I want to know where I can go when you're not around
The flame startles her, it's true. The heat breathing up her arms is a sharp bite, even if physically she goes unharmed. It must be such a cruel death; to burn. She jumps back against Milo and, as it disappears, she feels the racing beat of her heart take everything else's place. That panic possesses her, her breath clipping, chest heaving.
This was a mistake.
"N-" the sound trembles from her lips and her head shakes. She whips around to face Milo, unable to even stand looking at the fire. She wants to cling to his encouragement, to let it give her the courage she needs to do this, but fight or flight is kicking in. Years of nightmares about her father burning to death, screaming in agony, breach through any semblance of determination or confidence she had mere moments ago. It's one thing to think you can conquer your deepest fears, another to actually face it.
Instead, she clings to his arms as the emerald of her eyes absorbs her dark irises. "No-o-o, I can't do this, Milo!" Her hands are a frenzy of tightly-gripping fingers as she reaches for him, snatching at anything, using him to stabilize herself. Her throat clenches painfully. Any words she tries to formulate, to explain what's going on inside of her, are strangled mercilessly.
He might stop everything from going wrong if she can just grab hold of him and remember to breathe properly.
and I'm feeling down so won't you stay for a moment
It’s almost a strangled sound that leaves her lips and it puts him on guard, instantly, as she whips to face him. He gives her whatever she needs, the young smuggler reaching out to try and give her room to grab him wherever she needs to. He won’t complain, knowing what sort of history this might spark. And perhaps, having drawn the fire to her was a terrible idea, one they’d need to work up to. It’s just another checklist on the mental one Milo keeps tacking onto.
His arms drape around her, pulling her close, letting her bury her face into his chest, into his shirt, wherever she needs to as he keeps her close. “Shh, it’s okay ‘Relia. ‘ve got ya.” He assures her, keeping his grip tight on her in the hopes that it helps. “Jus’ breathe. In yer nose fer three counts, ‘n out yer mouth. We’ll go up from there.” Once her heart has stopped racing, once he can read her pulse soothing out.
He presses a soft kiss to her crown of hair, giving her a moment to prepare herself for it. “With me, a’ight? In. One… Two… Three…” He says and breathes, pausing a second before continuing. “Out. One… Two… Three.” And he does this however long she needs, extending the time until he hopes that she’s calmed enough, that the fear has quelled into something else more manageable.
there's a fire in my heart and i can't stop it burning down
