these are the best days of our lives

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"My dream, my rules."

Ianto, of course, will not deny Remi when he says he wishes to go to visit Stormbreak with his son. If it means sleeping beside the Lullaby, and dreaming with him as well, then so be it. But as he's just said - this is his dream. So he gets to decide how it goes.

It explains why he's currrently digging his way beneath a wire fence with ink-tipped paws, the fox waggling his way underneath when there's enough room and shaking himself off on the other side. Before them in the dark lays a magnificent hen house. It's more like a hen manor, with string lights and parapets and the sounds of soft, delicious clucking from within.

"So now you've shared this delightful experience with me, you'll be able to get home again once you're done with your visit?"

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

"You were the type of kid who said "my house my rules" at home, and then, "I'm the guest, so my rules" at someone else's, weren't you." Remi wonders with a flat stare, though the twinkle of amusement in his eye says as much as anything else about his willingness to let Ianto lead.

"So am I fox then purely for your own amusement?" Currently, Remi is trying to scratch behind his ear with his hind paw and failing miserably at it. It's only the soft clucking he hears from within the hen's chateau that draws his attention away.

"I will, yeah. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to let you know ahead of time though...you'll go to bed alone and wake up with me next to you." Which, could be horribly awkward in certain situations. Nothing the pair couldn't laugh off though, he was sure.

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"Actually, I was poor just like you, so I was rarely a guest at someone else's house." Quite how Ianto manages to make that sound haughty is laughable, but he does manage it, his fluffy tail swishing behind him. "Now follow me, second-in-command." That's a yes, by the way, to Remi being a fox purely for Ianto's amusement. And he is very amused indeed as he leads them beneath the hen mansion, his white belly flat to the ground so he can appropriately creep along.

"Every morning will be such a surprise. What if I have someone over?" Ianto cackles, the sheer unlikelihood of that event a cause for great amusement all on its own. "I'm sure we'll manage, whatever happens. At least you'll be able to get back. Now come on, we've got to get through the drawbridge."

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

Remi has never wanted to bite Ianto more than he does right now. His other shifts aren't playfully aggressive in a way that isn't a danger to those around him. But with his current teeth-to-bite-strength-ratio, he thinks he could get away with it. 'You are enjoying this far too much." Remi huffs under his breath as he pads after his ComMaNdeR aNd ChiEf.

Having absolutely no experience crawling in the dirt, Remi mimics Ianto's movements with a serious lack of grace and elegance. "Why are we going under? Why not just in the front door?" The alchemist wonders, before sneezing as dirt from Ianto's hind legs is shot directly into his face. Probably on purpose.

"Well, I should think your bed will be quite crowded then." Remi cackles back, ignoring the pang of jealousy his mind already wants to concoct in favour of a shit-eating-grin instead.

"If there are crocodiles beneath said drawbridge, we might have a problem." The alchemist warns, finding absolutely nothing strange about the prospect of encountering a draw bridge whilst beneath a hen-palace.

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"It's a dream. Am I not meant to enjoy my dreams? Lighten up, Remi, gods." Tittering away at the front of this little conga line, Ianto does indeed purposely kick more dirt at his friend's face, and if his tail is waggling obnoxiously, why, that's just how it waggles, Remi. "We are sneaking into a hen castle. Sneaking. One does not sneak in through the front door. At least, us lowly mortals do not."

Crowded beds and crocodiles aside, Ianto falls to an abrupt halt on his belly, gasping dramatically for good measure. "Worse than that. Prepare for battle," he breathes. Before them lies an actual drawbridge leading up and into the hen house, and it's flanked by two roosters.

Roosters decked out in full medieval armour.

"Chaaaarge!" Ianto bounds forward (quite a feat when they're squashed beneath a building), snarling and growling and trying to tackle one of the guard-birds.

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

"I get the feeling if I bite off your tail, it will follow us around as a caterpillar." Remi says, suddenly quite sure he was right about it. "Well if I was in charge, I'd have walked you through the front door. Only I'd be a chicken. I'd tell everyone else that I'd caught you."

With little light and even less depth perception, Remi's snoot runs right into Ianto's fluffy tail, and the urge to snap at his friend grows. But there's no time to think of caterpillar's and what sort of butterfly Ianto's tail might become, because suddenly the alchemist has a new target.

"Cover their eyes, so that they fall asleep!" Remi cries, unsure whether or not this folksy wisdom was at all true. Taking his own advice, the alchemist throws himself at one of the roosters, clambering up the armor best he could to try and wrap his tail around the guard's face. Only...armor is slippery and Remi has no idea what he's doing, and so quickly he's tossed into the air, flying weightless and graceless, and directly into the water beneath the drawbridge.

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"A caterpillar or a snake. Or maybe I'll grow two tails to replace it. I've heard of foxes that have nine tails, Remi." Whilst all of this is whispered, as the alchemist boops into Ianto's tail, he will indeed find that the fox has sprouted an extra tail. "If I spin them fast enough, maybe I'll fly! And oh - oh, that's clever. You should be a chicken, Remi!"

This is absolutely not the time for this conversation, and as the rooster-guards bokbokbok furiously into battle, Ianto is distracted by his friend's antics. This, of course, gets him more than a little hen pecked, and the fox yelps and yowls his annoyance as he tries to scrabble up the drawbridge. Conveniently, Remi has just been tossed into the water beneath him, and Ianto stretches out a paw for him. (It shouldn't work, but it does, because dreams).

"Lookit!" he commands the roosters, and there is suddenly and conveniently a fuck-ton of chicken feed in the dirt to distract them. "Quick, quick, quick!" he tells his fellow fox.

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

"Nine? Don't be ridiculous." Because of all the things that were ridiculous in this scenario, it was the one thing that was actually true that Remi couldn't stomach. "Oh. Maybe that's why they have nine tails then. Because I"m sure you can't with just two. Here, let me—" The alchemist would have bit his friend in the ass seven times, but of course there were suddenly rooster-guards to deal with.

"Can foxes swim?" Remi asks, his paw somehow holding onto Ianto's as his tail paddles back and forth. No need! comes a bright voice from the water. Beneath the pair are suddenly two encantados, who place their snoots beneath the fox's paws to help propel them forward. The rooster-guards eat with a frenzied pace as the foxes perform an ad hoc Cirque du Soleil water movement with the help of their new friends.

There is suddenly a stadium's worth of applause from all around. "Well, I think that's blown our cover." Remi notes, raising a paw to wave as roses are thrown all around them and declarations of marriage and praise are screamed in bright voices.

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"I will so be ridiculous. It's true! There's a whole story about it. And of course foxes can swim, don't you remember the tale I told you about the gingerbread ma-- oh, encantados." A lot happens in the time it takes Ianto Two-Tails to be outraged about his friend's disbelief, and of course they are soon being propelled around the hen palace, waving and accepting very well deserved praise for he has no idea what.

"We don't need a cover if we're getting married, I don't think," he says, sitting quite daintily atop his encantado. His tails whip around him (and yes, there are nine now), and he bares sharp teeth in a foxy grin. "Grab hold of me Remi! I will fly us to our happily ever after!" Chickens wave handkerchiefs from them out of the palace windows, and knights strut on parade showing off their plumage. Ianto is wearing a bridal veil.

It all makes sense.

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

"Well no, because you were in my bed, and I was distracted by thoughts of gingerbread." Remi counters with a shrug that threatens to throw him off balance. It's hard to perch on the nose of a dolphin, but of course he and Ianto are quick studies in everything.

"Well no of course not." Remi haughtily agrees. "Because it's called a veil, not a cover." Duh Just as the alchemist is about to ask who should wear the veil (there are arguments to be made on either side), he's being lifted off.

"Watch where you're going!" The alchemist cries gleefully, reaching to pull the veil back from his friend's eyes so that he can see where they're going. "You nearly crashed us into the moon." Remi adds with a delighted huff before pointing over the fox's shoulder. "Look, I think if we fly toward that tablecloth, there will be chicken on the other side. Weddings always have chicken."

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!

IANTO

there's a bulletproof bond

"I do really enjoy gingerbread, though." As if on cue, everything begins to turn to gingerbread - the knights, the maidens, the palace, the encantados. All except the moon that Ianto nearly crashes into - no, that remains, as always, a giant chicken egg. "You're right." He gasps, suddenly dramatic as he spins them to fly full speed towards an enormous gingham tablecloth. "Weddings do always have chicken." And so they land, flanked by an honour guard of drumsticks, and Ianto opens his maw to take a large bite of one--

And awakens drooling and gnawing on his pillow. "Aw fuck," he says, the words completely muffled, and he pulls the pillow out of his (very dry) mouth to yawn and blink himself properly awake. "It's always just as I'm about to eat," he complains, before realising exactly what has just occurred and losing himself to a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

between me and you

Coding base by Sky!

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

but maybe that's a good thing

Well of course he was right, and Remi's puff of disgruntled air near the fox's ear said as much. Of course his breath turned into marshmallows that he quickly snapped up. " 'unt 'un?" He asked with his mouthful, happily smacking his lips.

Releasing Ianto and eyeing a pool filled with gravy and lined with pool-noodles of sliced potato, the alchemist licks his lips as he pads over, only to find himself reaching out for a sock haphazardly thrown into the bed.

"Ianto!" The scold is real, but so is Remi's amusement. Rubbing his hands up the sides of his face and turning to offer the fox a tight-lipped smirk of disapproval, he too bursts out laughing. 'See this is why you should let me run the dream. I always finish what I start." This is said with far more mischief than is required (no doubt Ianto knows obviously what he means). Sitting up as he sweeps his hands across his eyes, he glances over his shoulder at his coppery-haired counterpart.

"So...breakfast?"

~FIN

Remi

Table coding by Sky, inspiration from Jae!