in cold blood

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

Ripping off the band-aid, that’s what it feels like. Anticipation weighs heavily on the Flood’s shoulders but at least he’s better…ish, now, thanks to Ronin. It’s also likely because he’s a fair amount drunk now thanks to that bottle the Star had brought too. And instead of the dragon partial shift, he remains in the Pegasus one – softer, gentler, even if the one wing is ravaged.

But he tells Ronin he’s ready. And the Star tells Remi. And then? Then Sunjata has to wait in that idle anticipation of whether or not this was a good idea, what he’d even say, what Remi even wanted to say. But he has to, before LongNight is over, before Nate comes home and finds out what happens. Thank the gods he’s drunk, giving him something else to focus on rather than the edge he’s settled on.

It’s idle chatter that colors the air, despite that shell that he’s grown into again.

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

The silence in Remi's mind is loud. It echoes, impossibly. He feels entirely hollow just now, empty of regret and sorrow and the sort of sympathy that's probably expected of him. One might have thought his empathy magic would have made him just that. Instead, it has made him colder somehow.

Standing with his arms folded across his chest, the Lullaby looks perfectly unassuming save for his knuckles and fingers that bare the marks of his attack on the ascended shrine. No doubt that's another thing Sunjata will be unhappy to hear of, if the conversation ever makes it that far.

"Are you sure?" Remi asks of the man at his side. Ronin has a foot on both sides of this line, and the alchemist certainly doesn't envy his husband's position in all of this. That the Star and Lullaby have come here together, the alchemist can't shake the sense that he'll walk into the Governor's house very much alone.

THE

LULLABY

Table coding by Sky

even my darkness shines for you

"I am sure." Ronin stands in front of his husband, as if to be a physical divide between Remi and Sunjata. The Star has only been in Torchline for a couple of days (if, y'know, days are a thing in LongNight) and already it looks as though he's never really left. His pants are rolled to the knee and his hair is tousled by salty air, and while Remi's arms are folded, it doesn't stop Ronin from leaning in to cup his cheeks in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Remi will feel the Star's certainty (and his hangover) along with his gentle touch, and when he draws back it's with a lopsided smile and a rap at the door to Sunjata's house. "Besides, the sooner this is done, the sooner we can go and climb into bed."

Leading the Lullaby inside, he calls out for Sunjata, assuming he'll be near the bar where they'd shared each other's company not too long ago.

the

DARKSTAR

Table coding by Sky

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

Smoothed over but still on guard, the pair will find Sunjata exactly there at the bar, leaned against the edge of it – one of the kittens on the bar batting at the wingtip of a tri colored wing that Sunjata wiggles before it. Haai is here this time, the griffin flopped on the floor by Sunjata’s feet, offering any little added benefit of comfort where she can.

They enter, though, and Sunjata cuts off the mumbling to Haai in order to sit up a bit straighter and shift his attention. The kitten doesn’t seem to mind, though, not as she continues to bat at Sunjata’s wing. He leaves it as a distraction if only to keep from swallowing hard and trembling when he spies Remi’s face. ’Slip the mask on.’ He tells himself. And so he does.

He swallows, offering a shallow nod to Remi, a quick glance to Ronin, before he leans forward on the hands that are placed on the bar. “You wanted to talk?” He asks Remi, waiting for whatever it may be.

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

Remi's lips are tense against Ronin's warmth. That Ronin is confident about this doesn't relieve the Lullaby. In fact, he thinks perhaps Ronin is going to be the one to find this conversation the hardest. Then again, the Star has always walked through difficult conversations completely unscathed, so perhaps Remi would do well to be reassured.

He isn't though, and thoughts of drowning beneath blankets with Ronin around him seemed endlessly far away.

With a flat stare Remi looks at the Flood, nodding ever so slightly. He doesn't sit but instead stops a few feet away. The only emotion on his face is dull surprise at what Sunjata has to say. No, Remi really doesn't have anything to say. His actions, he thought, spoke loud and clear.

'I assumed you would.' He replies, the clash of their accents almost amusing if not for the tension heavy around them.

THE

LULLABY

Table coding by Sky

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

It’s perhaps better that Remi doesn’t sit. It certainly offers some relief to Sunjata to see the Lullaby keep his distance. His question is aired, his accent at odds with Remi’s, and for a moment it feels like a stand-off – Sunjata letting some silence overcome the room, the dull sound of the cat batting at his wing and the crackling of a log in the fireplace. He swallows, in the silence, trying to figure out where to start.

So he dives right in if Remi doesn’t want to start.

“Okay.” He pauses, chewing at the inside of his cheek, letting the alcohol burn and buoy him while he figures out which part to say first. It already feels like a disaster. So he starts on even footing, something… Easier. “Ronin said it was a compromise. To talk first.” His gaze levels with Remi even if it makes him want to tremble to do so. “Didn’t seem like there was much room for talking and that your mind was already made up.” Sunjata’s unsure if anything he could have said would have changed the outcome. "Did you really think I'd do something like that? To Vai of all people?"

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

The alchemist says nothing, though perhaps his brow raises ever so slightly. A compromise? But as Sunjata continues, Remi feels what little patience he'd stirred up to come here begin to crack away. He doesn't know Sunjata the way Ronin does, doesn't know that there's confidence issues there, that the Flood, for all his grandeur and power, isn't as strong always as he seems.

'Oh fuck off.' He grumbles, shaking his head and huffing out a breath. The words aren't angrily said, though his frustration comes through clear enough. "I asked you. Over and over. That wasn't a compromise, and honestly, I don't really care how it felt to you." He adds, bluntly. Because if they are just going to get right into this, better they go the whole way. "No, it can't have been easy to be accused of something like this, but she's my goddamn family. I don't have much of that anymore. So it doesn't fucking matter how unlikely it seemed, I was going to get to the bottom of it."

He shakes his head again, glaring up at the roof. "And no thanks to you, on that account." Remi adds in, his gaze dropping back to the Flood like a stone.

THE

LULLABY

Table coding by Sky

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

So it’s like this, then. Perhaps he should know better, but the frustration from Remi is palpable in the air and it reflects on Sunjata with his own. And now? Now he can be frustrated and angry and upset about all of it. And when it comes to the ‘I don’t really care how it felt to you’, Sunjata can’t help but to mutter a “that’s nice” under his breath. But it doesn’t stop there, no, Remi continues and despite his gaze traveling, Sunjata’s are hard, cold, staring right at Remi.

“It can’t have been easy?” He repeats, urging the last word as if it made all the difference. “You’re preaching to the choir about family, Remi, you do know that don’t you?” Muscles feather in his jaw, letting himself draw in a sharp breath before he pushes off the bar top to lean back against the counter of the kitchen. “And what was I supposed to say? I’ve been here and haven’t fucking left. It was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you. The cats and Haai can’t tell you that I haven’t left.” He snaps, internally chastising himself and drawing in another breath to try and even himself out.

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

'No Sunjata, I don't.' Remi replies flatly. Because that's the thing. Sunjata is Ronin's friend. The pair of them are acquaintances, friendly, but no, the alchemist really doesn't know much about the Flood. He's got Nate. He's friendly with Vai. End of story.

'I don't know. Maybe something other than It wasn't me, it wasn't me, over and over. How could you possibly fucking think that was going to help? But it was all you could come up with and time was running out, so I figured it out for myself." Remi watches as Sunjata pushes himself back to lean against the bar, watches the tension ripple across him in various ways, feeling entirely unmoved by it.

"You weren't hurt." Remi says with a wave of his hand, as if being murdered in a dream was something Sunjata was making too big a deal out of. "And if you're asking me if I would trade whatever psychological injury you took from thinking you died in a dream, against finding out for sure whether you were the culprit who nearly killed my mother, then the answer is a resounding fucking yes."

Because at the end of the day, that's all this could ever come down to.

THE

LULLABY

Table coding by Sky

even my darkness shines for you

Ronin doesn't speak (I know, I'm as surprised as you are) at first. He lets each man try to navigate these difficult waters and do a specacularly terrible job at it, the Star left playing piggy in the middle with the two most powerful men in Torchline and not a whisper of starlight to show for it. So he clears his throat, in the end, and positions himself firmly beside Remi as both a support and a grounding force, not that he thinks he'll be able to do shit to stop his husband.

"Remi," he says slowly. "If Sunjata doesn't hate the idea, do you think maybe you could take his hand? It won't change what's happened, and it won't change how either of you feel. But it might help." Someone has to be able to put themselves in the other's shoes, here. And Remi is arguably in a better position to do so than Sunjata.

the

DARKSTAR

Table coding by Sky

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

Ah, he doesn’t know. Somehow Sunjata had thought Ronin may have mentioned a thing or two to show how he is the way that he is, but he’s calculated that wrong too. “Because it wasn’t!” He manages, stunned by what comes next. He blanks, staring at the Lullaby in silence. He wasn’t hurt? What kind of bullshit response was that? The one that follows up, at the end of the day, is one that Sunjata can both agree and disagree with.

He’d been there before, hadn’t he? With his own mother’s life on the line and he hadn’t picked her. He’d picked the bigger picture. He’d failed at that too.

His stunned silence is broken by Ronin’s approach to Remi’s side, and in lieu of the softness that Sunjata had tried to grow into, it falters and breaks away. It shifts, back to the dragon scales, back to guarding himself and closing himself off. His cold steel flickers from Ronin to Remi, the Flood swallowing hard and trying to soothe his emotions, feeling akin to a boat lost adrift at sea.

“Fine.” He half mutters, trusting Ronin despite it all, though he doesn’t make a move to step forward.

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA

aúsi, nos paramas // & still we stand

"Well I had to know for sure." The alchemist says with a cold shrug, meeting the Storm's steely gaze with an unwavering one of his own. At the end of the day Remi didn't really care that Jata's pride was hurt. That he was upset he wasn't believed. That Remi had turned his reality into a literal nightmare.

He'd needed the truth, and he'd gotten it. End of story.

Ronin at his side isn't helpful. It feels like a condemnation if anything. The Star was here to keep the peace, and if was Remi to whom he was offering advice, then it likely followed that it was Remi he thought was out of line.

'Always needing to make him feel better, mm?' Remi grumbles under his breath, his cheeks flushing with anger. " I already said I don't care how he feels." The alchemist replies, shrugging off Ronin's proximity-support by taking a step toward Sunjata.

"Are you really telling me, that if someone beat the absolute fuck out of Nate and the finger was pointed at me, you'd be fucking content with me shrugging my shoulders and saying I didn't do it?" Remi searches the Flood's face, goading him into honesty. Because while acting first and thinking second might not have been the most recommended course of action, it was one the alchemist could respect. It was perhaps the only one he could respect. 'If it came down to Nate's wellbeing or subjecting me to a bad dream, are you really saying you'd take me at my word?' Remi was the Lullaby of course so perhaps he wasn't the best example here, but Sunjata wasn't free of his own demons either.

THE

LULLABY

Table coding by Sky

even my darkness shines for you

He's shrugged away and if Ronin didn't think his husband was being unreasonable before (and he didn't), he's starting to now. Tempers are starting to flare on three sides, and as Remi steps forward Ronin plants himself directly between the two of them. "Don't you dare," he says quietly, though it isn't clear to whom. Perhaps the Star is just trying to prevent any further steps towards what will, ultimately, end in violence.

"If you didn't care how he felt, you'd not be trying to justify yourself," he points out to Remi in the end. "And if Sunjata was any good at articulating himself beyond getting angry and defensive, maybe he'd have been able to explain better in the first place. So maybe we all do ourselves a fucking favour and remember that someone hurt Vai, and it wasn't Sunjata."

the

DARKSTAR

Table coding by Sky

// so now you've done a little wrong and you need to be forgiven,
by the vicar and the company you keep //

“Yeah, we get that.” He mutters yet again, drawing silent to let Ronin and Remi hash it out. He’s not particularly interested in that part, even when Remi mentions that he doesn’t care. That’s fine. Sunjata’s past the point of caring too. But when Remi mentions Nate, his gaze narrows further, teeth clenching tight to refrain from baring his teeth.

He doesn’t care that Ronin steps in to offer his points and stands directly between the two of them, though the mention of getting angry and defensive does make the Flood more so.

“We are not the same, Remi.” He snaps, taking a breath to steady himself. “Because Nate was attacked and a finger was pointed at the Fae and I did not go and torment them because of it.” It’s a spiral of a sort, but not the kind Sunjata’s used to. Not the depressive, step off the edge of a ledge spiral. It’s the spiral of anger, of frustration, of trying to reason where there is little of it to begin with.  “I love Nate. But if he tells me not to go after something, I won’t.”

// this is the sin that i will confess to release myself
from consequence and everyone can tell //

SUNJATA