From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
It was not an easy journey by any means. Adam had avoided looking over the edge to see if Sunjata had lived by going to get Nate. He felt he owed something to the man, after their friendship prior to his own death; they were similar souls, bound by lives of rough families and drink and now by Ascension. Even though approaching Nate he felt scared, as if he was getting towards a wild animal (he was fucking growling), he began to guide him away, promising he knew where to go to get him help.
At first Adam had tried to get to the shrine in Torchline, only to discover it had been completely and utterly fucked. The swears that had left his lips were too blue for most sailors to repeat; that he continued with his hands on Nate's shoulders was a miracle of his will to see his friend better. Even as Nate seemed to try to take bites out of him, he just laughed as if it were funny and kept trying to force steps out of him, through the portal and into the Outskirts.
"The shrine -- It's just in the woods. Not that goddamn far, and I know you can do it. You can't go looking for Jata in this fucking state, can you?" He asked, continuing to yank Nate down the road.
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
Not an easy journey is an understatement. Nate is uncooperative at his best, seemingly unable to keep his legs under him, and he’s outright agressive at his worst, wrenching himself away from Adams guidance to stumble and fall and go limp, or snarling and shaking and nearly frothing around the muzzle.
They don’t go to the Torchline shrine, for reasons Nate’s in no state to understand. It seems like they go towards it, and then stop, heading towards the portal instead. And when they step out of it, Nate fully stops, his face crumpling. The Grounds are the last place he wants to be, and a rumble of something deeply disapproving leaves him. He tries valiantly to turn, to fix Adam with a pleading look while he’s pushed along.
The very worst part is that somewhere deep down, he’s so fucking aware of himself. He’s embarrassed, he’s ashamed, and he has absolutely no way to get a hold of himself.
Instead of the motivation Adam was going for, Sunjata’s name has Nate stopping fully again, his legs threatening to buckle. The other man said it with such hope. Like if he looked, he’d just find his husband. Like he could simply find a solution. Even in his state, Nate knows he’s hopeless.
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As much as the muzzle had initially upset Adam, he was ashamed to actually be quite glad for it as the journey went on. Nate was worse than he'd ever seen anyone; Adam had guided a lot of people through highs and withdrawals, dealt with his own, seen mental breakdowns...but this was extreme, and it scared him. Was this was being Ascended meant, after a while without their supply?
It seemed his attempted motivation did not hit the mark. Adam stared with desperation at Nate's shaking legs. "I'm nowhere near fucking strong enough to carry you there, so you'd better keep walking. Look, I don't know what the fuck is going on, or who the fuck that guy is, or why you're like this, but I know the Voice should be able to sort you out. Don't you wanna go fuck some shit up for revenge or whatever?" He didn't know what revenge was possible now that the guy that had beat up Sunjata was gone, but maybe Nate hadn't noticed that.
"Come on." He said again, going in despite his reservations to grab Nate's shoulders and lowering his gravity to give himself more purchase, lift him up and push him along. "It's not that far from here."
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
Thoughts of revenge might only exist in a foggy, impossible to picture void, but fucking something up? That’s attainable, easily, and it’s something to focus on that isn’t pain, or panic, or shame. It’s enough to have him trying to force himself onward, despite the trembling, the systems within him grinding and groaning in protest.
Adam is right to have reservations, to want to keep his distance. As soon as he leans down, Nate tries to lunch, jerking his head awkwardly against the leather in an attempt to shake it off. Some part of him seems to have some sense still, or maybe he’s too far gone to realize he can simply reach up and tear it away now.
If nothing else, it gets him moving again, one agonized step after the other, Nate leaning as heavily as he dares on the other man, drifting away from his bloodlust to focus on something else in the air. Some barely there thrum, a feeling that he senses, a shark drawn to blood.They are near the shrine.
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"Aw, jeez!" Adam leaned away from Nate as quickly as he could as he lurched. If he recovered from this, Adam was demanding a beer, even if he couldn't fucking drink it; he still needed one. With his mouth set in a determined line he kept going, focusing on making himself angry rather than upset or scared; it was easier to keep it together if he was irritated instead of freaked out.
The edge of the woods came into view. He just about remembered the way to the shrine. "Y'see those trees? That means we're close. So keep yourself together long enough for that." Grabbing Nate's arm to pull him along in the right direction, Adam prayed for one of very few times in his life that the Voice would actually be there enough to let Nate get some fluid.
Eventually they were stepping onto bark and leaves, the branches above. "It's just ahead. Come on. Then we can get that stupid fucking thing off your face."
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
Relief seems to rob Nate of whatever vestige of strength he’d been clinging to; no sooner have the entered the tree line than he’s sagging, stumbling down to his knees more than once and trying to scrabble to get himself upright again. No part of him will allow him to go crawling to his Goddess, no matter the state he’s in.
However, Nate has no qualms about kneeling, once they reach the obsidian touched tree, his arm stretching out before him as if it will somehow encourage a response. And though his actions have naught to do with it, an electric pulse does reach back towards him, smoothing down the rough edges of his painful hunger, and making room for everything else to come flowing in.
At once, scrabbling fingers reach up to his face, trying to tug at the muzzle, horror and revulsion clear in the newfound clarity of Nate’s eyes.
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Nate finally got to the shrine, scrabbling to it not unlike a desperate animal; Adam looked away, unable to let himself watch it anymore. If he was in that kind of state, he knew he wouldn't want his friends to see. Was that what waited for all of them, a few weeks off from a feed? The thought churned his stomach a bit.
He did peek to see if he could catch a glimpse of the Voice, but for one reason or another he didn't. Either way, Nate seemed to change. Still frantic, still ripping and angry, but now with a distinctly human edge, one that Adam knew better how to help with. Stepping forward, he raised his hands as he got close and then went to pull off the muzzle for Nate, undoing the clasp with dextrous fingers in a second.
"There. Please go back to normal now. Fuck." He begged quietly, taking a couple of steps back and waiting to see if Nate would stand before him again.
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
There’s no longer that frantic hunger, nothing in Nate that wants to lunge at his fellow ascended as he comes close. As he reaches to help with the muzzles buckle. Nate throws the offending piece of leather into the trees, as far and as hard as he can muster. Even with his improved sense, he doesn’t hear it land.
”What the Fuck!?” Nate screams loud enough that the woods go eerily silent around them for a moment. He doesn’t move from where he’s kneeling, bent almost entirely in half. At least it hides him, if only a little bit, from the gaze that he can only assume is on him.
He’d stare too, at the pitiable, crazed show he was putting on.
Falling into the easy stillness ascension offers, it starts to seem like Nate isn’t going to do anything else, like he isn’t even going to move. Just as it begins to get worrying, he punches himself up, both hands moving to not so subtlety scrub at his eyes, and to pull his mess of hair back out of his face. The gaze that finally finds Adam is swimming, now that Nate has fluid to spare. ”Thanks.”
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The muzzle went flying (unsurprisingly; Adam was sure he'd do the same in Nate's situation) and Adam just stood and waited for Nate to gather himself, hoping he would. The scream did make him flinch, the contrast to the quiet woods around them jarring. Still, he tried not to stare too much, knowing he wouldn't want anyone to see this dark and low of a moment of his own life.
(He still stared a bit. It was hard to completely resist).
Finally, eventually, Nate moved again; Adam looked over from where he had been pushing leaves with the toe of his boot and nodded, waving fingers casually with his thumb hooked into his pocket. "Yer welcome. Just don't try and take my head off again on the way back." He looked over his shoulder, back towards the road, then added: "That is, uh, if we're going back? What d'ya want to do now?"
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
Nate is simply glad that his thanks falls on some kind of ears, that Adam hadn’t left him alone in these woods. Without the shameful prodding of someone else watching him, Nate isn’t sure he’d actually move again. Not for a while.
Shining eyes are distant, focused somewhere around Adams shoulder, instead of his face. ”No, I won’t. I’m... sorry.” Theres no excuse for his actions, and even less explanation. He had been all hunger and instinct, and Adam had been so tempting.
”Adam.” There is no small amount of gravitas in Nate’s voice, in his tight face. ”I need another favour from you. It’s easy, alright.” The doctor staggers to his feet like a drunk man, swaying and struggling and somehow making his way in close to the other ascended. ”Slap me.” He angles his cheek, to give Adam the best possible point. ”As hard as you can.”
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Adam just shrugged the sorry away, embarrassed for Nate and by the whole situation. Now that Nate wasn't trying to murder him, it was weirdly quiet in the woods. Especially with the knowledge of what had happened to Sunjata on his mind, Adam not knowing if Nate was aware or not. If he wasn't, was it right to tell him?
Hey, uh, your husband probably cracked his head open on rocks and drowned. Oof, yeah, no.
He was just about ready to stop nudging leaves around and turn to head back when Nate stopped ahead of him and made his request, one that had Adam's eyebrows shooting up. "Uh...I mean, sure. Okay." Adam had heard weirder things from people coming off of wild shit, so he wasn't going to argue. Taking a step back to brace himself, he wound back his hand, then paused to ask: "This isn't a sex thing, is it?"
Regardless of it if was or wasn't, Adam would bring his arm around and slap Nate hard in the face a moment later.
I feel a bubble in my organs and veins In trouble, but ignoring the pain
"It's not a sex thing." Nate's lips don't even twitch as he says it, a grim solemnity writ over the stone of his features. It's a getting his fucking head back on again thing. He's glad that's the only question he has to answer before Adam's hand lifts and cracks across his cheek.
It doesn't hurt. Of course it doesn't. It doesn't even leave a mark on his face, though Nate lets his head move with the force of it, lets himself be moved to the side.
When he looks at Adam again, something fragile has been knocked out of his gaze, his jaw set in a hard line. "Thanks." Again, for everything, though he doesn't say that. "Let's go fucking home. I'll get you a drink." It should maybe be worrying how steady Nate has gotten, how far he's distanced himself from the reality of his life, but he doesn't give himself any time to be questioned, a far more relaxed arm thrown around Adam's shoulders to lead them back to Torchline.
Done~
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