{RQ} we all burn to the ground
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
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Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#1
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
He should not have left the house. He should not have left the house alone. He has people at home, Melita, and Hotaru, a support system that he doesn’t think he deserves. Not right now. Not when it feels most natural to be angry, and hollow.

Nate’s intention had been to check on his clinic, he thinks. Perhaps the guild. He wanted to try and do something other than ache. He isn’t sure what he wants. He doesn’t want to go to Haulani.

He doesn’t want to go home yet either.

It’s a small mercy that it’s the middle of the night (how else would he have managed to leave?) and he can simply stop, sitting bonelessly in the sand, along the very edge of the jungle. He sits and he stares out at the ocean and wonders if he’s too old now to walk into it.
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
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Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#2
you're falling further down
Aurelia makes her way across the beach, heaving the beginnings of a few anchors towards a small fire. Well, they're not anchors yet. They're more along the lines of thick, heavy pieces of metal welded together. Her brows knit tightly together as she stares over the sand, each stride bringing her a step closer to an actual plan for this. It should be simple enough.

What they need now is for the extra pieces to be puzzled out and fastened together with bolts. But without Sunjata, would it still work? Should she quit while she's ahead? She doesn't really know what the answer is, so she's doing it anyway, as if nothing's gone wrong. It's all right on schedule, as planned.

Someone dark-haired and blue-eyed pops out at her from her peripheral. Kneeled down beside her work, Aurelia looks up across the beach to find Nate sitting against the treeline. Whether he's noticed her arrival or not, she hadn't noticed his presence until just now.

All she feels is concern, confusion even. "Nate?" But at first, she doesn't know what else to say. A lot had happened, most of it she still isn't clear on the details... but she knows it was all bad, that it still is bad, that nothing will be the same. It's a pain she can relate to, at least.

So she pads across the sand towards him, stopping only when she's a few feet away. Time seems to move painfully slow as she tries to think of something to say that wouldn't be wrong, or obvious, or...

"You know... someone once said to me, whether it's a blessing or shit show, you keep going," she extends a hand to help him up from the ground, "Come on, you'll be okay."
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#3
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
This is supposed to be a lonely stretch of beach. He’s supposed to be alone. Nate wants to be alone. And worse than that, he recognizes the person coming up. Perhaps, if he’s still, if he doesn’t move, he can go unnoticed. And he does, for a time.

Nothings forever, he supposes.

Nate glances over when his name is called, his brows pulling together as he shifts to look up at her. It takes a moment for him to reply, his jaw working before it opens. ”Aurelia. Hi.” It’s soft, rough. Words haven’t come easily to him recently, for reasons that have to obvious.

Something about having his own words thrown back at him sparks some vague feeling, some ember ready to be fanned into a flame. ”Whoever told you that was a fucking idiot.” The snap in his voice is halfhearted at best, his teeth gnashing around the words. He does reach up to accept her hand though, rising unsteadily to his feet.

”Why are you here?”
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
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Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#4
you're falling further down
She's aware of it all, yes, but even though that's true she can't help the sympathetic pinch of her brows or the sinking feeling in her chest. It descends further down into her ribcage as he snaps at his own advice. Her lips form a thin, barely-there smile. Not because she's happy, because she's not, but because this must be painful for him. And she doesn't know how to make it better. She probably can't.

"Careful, that's my friend you're talking about," in case he had any doubts of where he stood with her, or in case he simply didn't know. Doesn't matter either way, probably; it wouldn't be enough to fill that void created by an absence she had no chance of preventing.

So that barely-there smile slips away, but he takes her hand anyway and her gaze becomes gently surprised. "Well... I thought I'd work on the anchors... for Sunjata," she lets go of his hand weakly and glances over her shoulder at the parts that are piled up somewhere behind her. "I dunno... I didn't think it'd be right not to." Whether it was yet to be determined if he was alive or dead doesn't change this. Determined to stick true to that sentiment, she shifts her weight and starts walking back towards the fire. "I'm not much good at this sorta thing either..." she pauses to wait for him, gesturing for him to follow, "but you don't have to go through this by yourself."

She's bracing for more anger, if she's honest, but she also doesn't know what to expect.
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#5
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
”I got some idiot friends too.” He points out, the anger tempered into a huff by her words. Nate works his jaw as he tries to bite back more and more. He’s tired of it though, so tired of holding onto things just to spare other people.

He’s not actually prepared for how badly hearing Sunjata’s name affects him. He should have been expecting it, and yet he still freezes, rigid with a wide eyed something while Aurelia continues. ”Theres been... a lot of other work put in.” His voice sounds strange in his own ears, almost strangled by a throat so tight he shouldn’t be able to make a sound at all. ”Yo- we... we might as well.”

It’s not exactly anger that rises in his chest as he follows after her, but anger is the easiest response to grasp, out of everything else. ”I don’t need your pity.” He growls immediately, his jaw clenching tightly.
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
Change author:
Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#6
you're falling further down
Aurelia takes the biting remark as it comes, can see that he's holding back more of it. Her eyes narrow and her head tilts a little, but she makes no complaints for or against the mercy he seems to have for her in that moment. Because, oh, she knows what it's like to hold back anger - and she's sure it's not the worst that he could come up with. Anything he could say to her, though, it.. it just wouldn't hit as hard as he might want it to, but maybe that's a good thing.

She nods at the mention of other work put in. She can see the sharp sting of Sunjata's name as it rings through his eardrums. "Might as well..." she agrees stonily, eyeing this expression of his.

He follows after her and she leads the way, turning her shoulders back in the direction of her workspace and preparing herself for the backlash she does, indeed, receive. At first, she doesn't respond, just lets the ambience of the crashing waves and distant cries of jungle creatures fill the gaps.

"Nate," she finally speaks, gathering a large metal piece and hoisting it into his arms. She does wait for him to grab it before releasing it, her gaze finding his then, "does this look like a pity party to you?" Her voice doesn't contain the same snap as his, but it is firm in its meaning. She pauses to maintain the eye contact (if he will), "I'm not here to judge what you've gone through, whether it makes you weak or strong; whether it's enough to make you or break you. You can decide that yourself... Now, hold this in place for me," it's then that she crouches down to move another piece of metal in front of him.

Together, they can set the piece he's holding into this other one so that they can form together into the beginnings of that first star-shaped anchor. She'll use the gathered tools to lock the pieces together.
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#7
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
A long handful of moments pass before Nate seems to really zone back in, his eye still wide. He means to echo the might as well again, the words bringing a measure of something comfort adjacent but no sound makes it past his lips.

”It feels like it.” He insists, not actually sure what the point he's arguing is, beyond being contrary. ”I’m not new to fucking losing people, I know what it’s like. I don’t need everyone being so fucking careful.” While hes talking, he’s not paying attention to the load bei mg hefted into his arms, his hands closing around the metal bars easily.

Something in his eyes shifts, Nate all but flinching back away from Aurelia words, daggers that cut to his very core. A torrent of emotion washes over his face, his jaw shaking where he tries to clench it, and his mismatched eyes growing watery and shimmering before shuttering completely, anger prevailing over anything else. ”Well then I guess I’m making my decision pretty fucking clear, aren’t I?”

The metal he’s been so graciously carrying up until that point is set down, more or less where she’d pointed. It’s the clearest sign that whatever it is Nate’s doing is bark, that anger tempered by shame.
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
Change author:
Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#8
you're falling further down
Aurelia tries not to react as she begins to move the metal parts around, assigning him his own. Even as they place the pieces together, her silence is concentrated. Through her peripheral, through the occasional dart of her eyes to look up at his face, she can see the brief yet heavy shatter of his resolve.

She makes an effort not to react right away, though, especially when her first instinct is to show her support. Seems like he needs a reason to get this shit off his chest, which is a funny way of asking for a shoulder to cry on. But hey, she gets it. It makes her angry, too.

"Yeah well, then maybe you shouldn't sulk in the shadows waiting for someone to grab you by the hand," she remarks shortly as she clamps the metal together using heavy-duty bolts. If he doesn't want her to be careful then she won't, but she's doing a damn good job of hiding the fear that chills her blood.

"Grab that," she points a finger towards another piece, looking up from her work to stare up at him more directly.
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#9
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
It’s a small mercy that Aurelia is actually doing the bulk of the work, if only because it lets the ascended focus on his own words, on explaining his anger.  ”Don’t act like I was begging for some fucking saviour. You came up to me.” The words come out in a strangled hiss, Nate’s shoulders rolling back as he tries to lean back into that anger, tries to recover from his slip up.

A petulant, contrary sneer curls his nose, his brows pulled into an angry line. For a moment, it seems like he might wash his hands of the whole job, and leave her to struggle, but that’s only a moment. It’s not as cathartic to be angry alone. And he loses the chance to be petty, lifting the new twist of metal and dropping it in the sand between them, burning eyes locked on Aurelia.

Which only means she has a clear view of the surprise that crosses his face when the half anchor lands on his foot. It might not hurt, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any damage, something his systems very helpfully scream in his mind. Fuck!”
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
Change author:
Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#10
you're falling further down
"And you were sulking in the shadows!" She shrugs her hands in exasperation and her lips form a thin, frustrated line. "What was I supposed to do, leave you there? Leave you all broken and torn up about shit that's not even your fault-" she huffs out an aggravated growl and snaps out, "Not gonna happen, sorry."

He plunks the piece of metal between them and Aurelia has to ground herself to the sand in order not to flinch away instinctively, for fear that he may not care if it hits her or not. Whether it's meant to cause harm, a big hunk of metal hitting you is gonna fucking do some damage. So it's only a terrible surprise when it actually lands on his own foot.

"Shit." Instantly her veneer of 'I don't give a fuck' disappears and she scrambles forward to pry it off of him.

Actual anger formulates in her next words, "You know what," she hoists herself to her feet and sternly points to a spot in the sand somewhere nearby, "just- fucking- sit down! Right there! Damn it, Nate!" her eyes start to well up with emotion, the muscles in her jaw flinch, and finally she cracks. "I don't know how to make any of this better! I can't bring him back to you and I can't undo all of this crap, or you bet your stupid... fucking robot ass I would! Okay?! He was my friend, too, and I didn't do shit! I couldn't! I'm sorry!"
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#11
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
”Sitting! I was just sitting!” A momentarily free hand lifts to tear back through his hair, sending black strands into perfectly stable disarray. ”Don’t put tears,” his voice cracks, and he clenched his jaw so tightly it creaks. His gaze drops away from Aurelia, focusing on the ocean over her shoulder instead. ”Don’t put fucking tears in my eyes, okay?”

If the increasingly obvious weakening grip on his thin veneer of anger wasn’t embarrassing enough, Nate had to go and make it somehow worse. Aurelia gets it off him while he’s too busy glaring at it, and he doesn’t even have the decency to step away.

Sit down. Like he’s a bad dog. Nate’s clever enough to recognize the real ire in her voice though, to follow instructions, and has just enough fight left in him to simply drop to the ground where he stands.

”I don’t either!” His voice echoes over the nearly empty beach, startling a group of hels into flight. He grows quieter quickly, his voice pained.  ”I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to do this again, I just...” Dropping his face into his hands, Nate starts to struggle through his words, choking each one out. ”I should have done something. Anything! I... I couldn’t, and this, it...”
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
Change author:
Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#12
you're falling further down
"I'm not trying to!" She barks in her own defense, crossing her arms over her chest with a forcefully resigned huff. His odd gaze pulls away from her but her own stays on his face, sizzling with her anger.

He actually listens, which is its own miracle, and plops himself down into the sand. The fact he didn't go where she pointed is irritating, bringing a vexed grimace to her face. She wishes she could stick her head under the sand right about now. His too, she might add. That would probably be better than this.

The hels take off at his heated exclamation, startling her out of her angry haze as she blinks over at them. Shaking her head and chewing at her lip, she permits him enough air to let something real out at last. There's a breadth of long, tense silence when he's done choking on his emotions.

"It was his choice, he made the decision to fight," she mumbles out, finally directing her gaze elsewhere, anywhere but on Nate. "Not you, not me, nobody but him. It was something he had to do for himself." She can at least understand that, and she's sure Nate gets it better than she even does. "You really think he'd want you to give up because of him? I don't. No, fuck your 'I can't do this again' bullshit. You can, and you will, for him."

At that, she returns to her work. This time she moves the pieces around with particular ferocity, jostling them together until things fucking work damn it. Suddenly the metal pinches her palm and she bitterly shakes her hand out. "Son of a bitch!"
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#13
sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine
Hands don't drop away from his face until the woman speaks again, rationalizing it all. Nate knows, deep down, that she’s right, at least about the Trial, but it doesn’t stop the nagging sense that there was something he could have done. Something he should have done. It’s a feeling that haunts him.

”I’m not giving up! I know I can’t.” And if he seemed like the type that would, Aurelia had clearly gotten the wrong impression somehow. Or, he was worse off than he thought. ”I just want to fucking drink and black all of this out. I want to wake up weeks later and be fine. And I can’t!” His face twists, eyes thrown up to find the glow of the moon through the thin clouds, like somehow Safrin’s gloating eye could take this feeling away.

He at least has the decency to seem a little ashamed after his outburst, his gaze falling back to the sea, one hand pressing into the sand. Some part of him wants to leave, wants to slink home where he can at least brood alone.

It’s a part that’s silenced immediately by the curse that snaps from Aurelia. Faster than seems possible, given his state the definitely broken foot, Nate is on his feet, crowding the woman. ”What did you do?” He asks, his tone sharper and almost gloating. At least it wasn’t just him.
i couldn't get the boy to kill me
but i wore his jacket for the longest time
NATE
Aurelia Murlow
the Fireheart


Age: 29 | Height: 5'7" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 4 - Strg: 18 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 21 - Int:
Played by: Catalysta Away
Change author:
Posts: 1,182 | Total: 1,724
MP: 630
#14
you're falling further down
Aurelia's expression sours, completely and utterly unamused by his coping mechanism of choice. It's probably better for him that he can't, and that he has to face all of these things. "The sooner you face it, the better," she remarks darkly without glancing at him, "Trust me, I know from experience."

Even then, she's still panged by her losses. Even years down the road, they haunt her. All of them were tragic in some way, shape, or form. All of them out of her control. Nothing she could've done would have saved them. Add Sunjata to that seemingly never-ending list and it hurts all the worse. So her expression softens in understanding, empathy, and guilt all at once. Her words were hypocritical and unhelpful, and she knows it because... it doesn't work for her, either.

In further silence, she works, until she catches her palm between the bite of metal and lets out a fierce curse. She glares up at him, at the snideness of his question, and huffs. "Nothing! Just leave it to me to make everything worse! I can't save people, I can't say anything to make you feel better, and I can't even-" she stands up "-fucking-" her boot kicks against the metal, sending it toppling "MAKE A GOD DAMN ANCHOR!"

She stands there in the sand for a moment, awkwardly letting her anger dissipate and feeling rather stupid for it. Her chin lifts up towards Nate and her brows press together. Slowly, she shakes her head, feeling tears gather in her eyes that she'll never let fall - not if she can help it. "Nothing will make this better, Nate," she scoffs, disheartened, "and yet we're expected to just..." she stiffens, "move on..."

So she does, kneeling back down to continue working on the anchors. Even if she feels like she might break completely down at any second.
but I've got you by a thread
Aurelia
code credits go to Skylark!<3


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