(SEASONAL EVENT) Through a glass darkly

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

It didn't matter that it was cold, or that Remi had been sitting long enough that the sun had made its way across 1/4 of the sky already. It didn't matter that snow was falling gently all around him, that it was piling up on top of his curls, or that moisture had begun to seep into his boots despite the boiled and hardened fat he'd lined the insides with.

All that mattered was the outside and what he could see.

Though right now what he was focused on was what he couldn't.

Still the alchemist sat, bundled in his deer-skin jacket completely oblivious to the luxere grazing 10 or so meters away. For now not even their gentle spirits nor the warmth of their antlers could unsettle Remi's pale eyes from the barrier. Wearing the mask Ludo had given him probably made him look almost as unsettling as the god itself, but of course without a mirror Remi had no idea just how strange a man with sea-glass green eyes behind a mask of pure white might look, just sitting in the pale afternoon light gazing at nothing, must look.

S E I J I

---

Today, Seiji thinks of doors. He struggles, as always, to remember what brought him to this place. But his head is a jumble of things: sunlight and rain, crashing waves and bald-faced rocks, sunlight through feathers and rain on a glistening street. Maybe he ought to focus more on the present, or even the future (the looming shadow of Longnight) but he feels the past like a hole in his mouth. He wants to touch it. To explore its edges, define its shape, understand what used to be inside of it. If he finds anything useful while he does so, well.... It's possible, isn't it?

So he moves across the desolation of the winter fields. The first sad apple tree he passes by without considering its branches for fruit. His feet crunch through snow, and more flakes fall in a steady, silent rush. They catch in his hair like stars. Despite the stinging cold of the winter air against his face, the sight of his breath like a ghost before him, he keeps moving. He might have better luck in the wood, but with the days so short, he fears losing his way between the trees. So it's here he moves, looking for... something. A door, maybe. But not like the sort found in a house. Like the sort which might open to another world. A better world. Home.

He finds no such thing.

Afternoon is waning on, and still he wanders. The faint, buzzing static of a headache has begun somewhere just behind his eyes. He ignores it. The cold air moves like a fistful of knives into his lungs, and he ignores that, too, though he can feel his limbs growing tired. He ought to turn around. Or — he ought never have come out. He has other things to do. Realistic things.

It's the glow of the luxere which catches his eye. There in peripheral: a whole group of them, quietly grazing, digging up what they can from the snow. Seiji pauses. He could try to approach. He has a withered apple in his pocket. He had brought it for a snack, one of a bunch he gathered in these fields earlier, but the luxere are supposed to be benevolent. He is probably better served offering it to them, and finding food elsewhere in the settlement. Maybe it will charm them, and they'll follow him when he turns back, so the glow of their antlers can help ward off the darkness when it comes. Seiji likes the idea of that. Of this selfish little errand turning out something worthwhile, in the end.

So he approaches them slowly. Carefully. His footsteps are soft, as usual. The luxere stir and snort, their breaths, too pluming in the cold. Seiji reaches into his pocket and wraps his fingers around the apple. Fearful of startling them, he drops into a low stance, almost a crouch, and moves to stand beside a nearby tree. His fingertips reach up to press against the bark. But then he looks — down — looks at it properly. And forgets the deer.

With a cry, he leaps back. There's a man sitting there. Or — something like a man. The strangest man Seiji has ever seen. A man with a pale white face. Something about the face is unnatural, but in his confusion Seiji doesn't notice what, at first. Just — there's some kind of apparition sitting here beside this tree staring at nothing, and suddenly he's certain, utterly certain, he needs to be back within walls.

But he can't move.

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

Not a particularly observant man when it comes to his surroundings, it takes Seiji's cry of alarm before Remi is even aware that he has been disturbed. Had he been paying attention he might have seen the way the luxere raised their heads from where they had been grazing to regard the man hedging his way closer, might have heard the crunch of snow beneath his weight. Or, had he been really attentive—nay, attuned—his animal senses might well have identified the approaching man. But of course Remi's mind was lost in an impossible and unhelpful whirl of questions, all directed out and towards the barrier. What it meant, how his mask might in anyway be helpful at all in unraveling its secrets, and so on and so forth.

With a jump of his own, Remi shuffles and glances hastily over his shoulder. The shock of dark hair and the presence of someone unknown makes Remi's jaw drop, but of course behind the mask it's impossible to see. With a startling blur, images appear around the musicians. Though Remi is not aware of it yet, the mask also allows him to see memories. Violins and concert halls, gulls scattering into the grey sky near the roar of the ocean, a pale cat refusing to move from a windowsill.

Blinking with surprise and confusion, the alchemist pulls the mask from his face, revealing cheeks pink with cold and adrenaline which floods them with even more colour. Fluttering sea-glass green eyes take in the stranger, but quickly Remi's ever boyish and immediate smile appears, and he offers a shaky laugh. "I did not hear you, my apologies." He offers, voice thickly accented but gentle. Rising and dusting some of the snow off of his pants, he grins, fully unaware of how terrifying he likely looked just then.

S E I J I

---

The moment before the stranger pulls off the mask feels endless. A part of Seiji wants to run, run fast and far away. Though something about the shape before him is human, its features are also utterly bizarre. Could it be one of the monsters he has heard so much about? In that case, would running even help? He stands there, frozen, waiting for it to make a move. But then it does, and the result is so anticlimactic Seiji has no choice but to laugh.

He feels bad about it as the sudden burst of noise startles the nearby luxere. Heads up, they retreat a few paces, huffing fog from their muzzles. Seiji quiets himself as he notices, and runs a hand through his dark hair, scattering half-melted snowflakes. "I can be quiet," Seiji admits. Relief courses through him like a drug. He would probably forgive most anything the stranger said right now. "I am sorry if I startled you," he adds, and gestures toward the mask in the man's hand. "Were you doing something with the luxere?" Seiji cannot imagine what the man might have been doing, honestly. With Longnight looming close, however, and the luxere so nearby, he makes an educated guess. It takes some effort to keep his tone light and steady both, but he does manage. His pulse is slower still to settle down.

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

“I admit I was rather lost in thought.” Remi says with his usual brand of boyish charm and warmth writ clearly on his chilled features. Given how precarious and dangerous this world has always been, the alchemist should have been a great deal more unsettled by the fact that he’d been snuck up on so easily. Instead though he merely beamed at Seiji and shook his curled head. “No, the barrier actually...” Looking over his shoulder towards where the barrier stood like an opaque taunt, Remi’s eyes dropped back to the mask he was holding. “This mask...it allows me to see through the barrier. I...” Trailing off, Remi bit his lip as a sad smile tried to creep onto his lips. He hazarded a curious glance at Seiji having absolutely no idea at all how familiar the man was with this world and the strange occurrences that went on within it.

“I thought once I saw someone I recognized on the outside .... the assumption seems to be that is not possible. That those who are ...ahh..transported? here—“ Pausing slightly as he groped for a word, the alchemist merely shrugged at let the description remain as it was— “always show up within the barrier. But..” With a whistful and sad sigh, Remi looked towards the barrier once more, before forcing a sunny smile onto his lips as he turned back towards Seiji.

“I am Remi. I do not believe I have seen you here before? Are you...” new seemed like a rather strange term, but it was the closest thing he could think of to capture his meaning. “..new?”

S E I J I

---

Slowly, the frission of terror brought on by their unexpected meeting continues to subside. The face behind the mask is that of a cheerful young man, something like a youthful innocence rounding the edges of his soft features. His, voice, too, moves between them with a rhythmic melody, an accent Seiji finds almost familiar for reasons he can’t place. But as the stranger continues to speak, Seiji decides he likes it.

He does not quite smile, though. Charming as the stranger’s face and voice may be, the content of his words provokes a thoughtful frown. Through the barrier? Seiji knows only it is dangerous and impassable. He knows, too, that the night of his arrival, the last time he stood anywhere near the outskirts, he felt terribly ill. He can almost feel the same now, like a shadow of pain in the back of his mind. Similar sensations occur whenever he ventures too far into the outskirts. But here is someone trying to see through the bars of their impenetrable cage?

Seiji’s head tilts, and his gaze falls to the pale mask. “Did you make it?” he wonders, gesturing toward the object. What kind of person has he stumbled upon? A brave one, he thinks, no matter how the stranger’s manner comes off now. Brave, and maybe powerful, as well. Seiji still holds himself cautiously, even if the fear has mostly leeched from him.

In response to Remi’s question, though, he nods. “Seiji. I arrived some weeks ago,” he answers. “Did you come from somewhere else, too?” He struggles to put together the pieces of everything Remi just said. “And someone from your home… was out there?” Seiji points toward the barrier, curiosity now sparking behind his eyes. “What else did you see?”

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

“Oh, no!” Remi replied with an easy laugh, shaking his head. “One of the gods here, Ludo gave it to me...” He said slowly, voice taking on a bit of an awkward cadence. “I am sure it is tricked or trapped somehow, but I do think what I am seeing is real.” He admitted with a wry shrug. “Perhaps that is naive of me. Perhaps that is the trap.” Remi added with a bit of a wistful sigh. But for all of Ludo’s tricks and his repeated attempts to get Remi to kill himself, the god didn’t seem quite that cruel.

But then again, what did he know?

“Pleased to meet you, Seiji.” Remi said brightly, his accent making the man’s name sound quite different from how its owner pronounced it, but perhaps not unpleasantly so. “Yes. A place called Northaven, perhaps a few months ago now?” He replied, then his smile saddenly widened as his pale eyes sparkled with hope. “Mmmhm.” He hummed in agreement. “A friend of mine. He can become a fox, and the first day that I put the mask on, I am sure I saw him sitting there in the snow.” Realizing how absurd that sounded, Remi ran a bashful hand through his curls and offered Seiji a sideways grin. “I know how it sounds. That it could have been any fox but...” The alchemist shrugged.

Hope was about all he had left at this point.

“Well...there appears to be a forest. Vibrant and lush, unlike anything else in here. There is snow out there, like here. And lights that seem to just...float. Like small balls that roam where they please. “

S E I J I

---

Every word out of Remi’s mouth is another burst of wonder and surprise. Together, they are an almost insurmountable effort to digest. A god? Ludo? One of the gods? And a fox, and a forest, and lights… For a time, Seiji is quiet, still frowning just slightly, his attention turned toward the barrier as he envisions all this, nodding every now and then. He is hardly the person to be hearing all this, he thinks — too new. But he absorbs it anyway, chewing on every separate strand of thought.

“That is a lot,” Seiji says at last, his dark eyes moving to find Remi’s. Despite their color, his gaze is soft, crinkling at the edges with a first hopeful smile. “I do not understand it all, but… Your friend, I think you would know him. Even as a fox.” Maybe that’s just kind optimism, but love is a peculiar kind of power. Seiji believes it, anyway. Believes — that Remi is right in believing it.

“I do not know the gods here,” he admits. He can offer no insight there, though he wishes he could. “Do they like the wall?” And if not, why give a useless gift? But too many questions in his mind. Too many uncertainties. He shakes his head. “I don’t know enough about this place. I was only going to see if those luxere wanted to come closer to the houses.” He gives Remi a rueful look. “But… I am trying to learn all I can. If I can help, I would like to.” He does not say he wants to go home. He does not say his search for knowledge is a means to an exit, but the want is there, in the back of his mind. Ceaseless. Sorrowful.

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

Remi’s gaze was openly buoyant despite whatever hesitation he thought he saw in Seiji’s eyes amidst the tentative smile. “I think so too.” Remi agreed with a gentle nod, his lip curling upwards in a slanted smile as thoughts of his foxy-friend invaded the forefront of his thoughts. Of Ianto falling off his roof, of the tea shop the pair had said they’d open together...of that fateful night of so many firsts that fundamentally changed everything about Remi..

“Ahh well, I would consider that lucky on your part.” The alchemist replied dryly with a slight shake of his head. “And..I am not sure. I asked Ludo how to leave and it seemed...either not to know, or not willing to answer.” Remi replied with a gentle shrug, not bothered or embarrassed by his own ignorance.

Glancing towards the luxere, Remi hummed a thoughtful note of agreement. “In the books I have read, and what I have been told, they are supposed to come during LongNight to stand guard? I do not understand it, but the locals seemed quite sure of it. Where I come from we did not have weather like this or...well.” With a laugh, Remi gestured to the world around them with his hands, a grin spreading across his face. “Nothing like this at all.”

Nibbling his lip thoughtfully, Remi nodded. “Well, if there is anything I can answer, I would happily do so. But there is a guild...the..Loreseekers I believe it is called? Who quest for information.” The alchemist was not so petty nor wounded by his disagreements with Jigano to obfuscate the help that the bard could provide this man, if indeed knowledge was what he was after.

S E I J I

---

Something about Remi makes him an easy man to speak with, even out here in the snow. His voice is pleasant, the words a cheerful dance off his tongue. Seiji listens to each one, nodding occasionally. “Loreseekers,” he repeats, thoughtful. “I will try to find them. Thank you.” He certainly has many questions, still. The Loreseekers are probably a good opportunity to learn more. Seiji resolves to seek them out after Longnight’s end. Something to look forward to, at least.

Back to the matter of the luxere, though. Seiji gestures at them, rather tentative. “Should we try to bring them closer?” he wonders. “Some people I met earlier sang to them. I think they liked that.”

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

"I have heard that as well." Remi agrees with a nod, his smile turning crooked and bashful as he glances towards Seiji. "Can you sing at all?" The alchemist's tenor is perfunctory at best, but he can carry a pitch well enough. Sadly for all the melody that his accent seems to lend to his words, his singing voice is not similarly effected.

Tilting his head, Remi's fingers twitch slightly as he raised them, making brushing motions in the air. As he does so, tendrils of invisible magic arc outwards (or at least Remi assumes that they do), and the ground trembles gently around the luxere, helping to move some of the snow away so that the hardy grasses below can be got it. With some effort, Remi even causes a few newer greener shoots to bloom as well though these are closer to the two men, as if trying to coax the deer closer.

S E I J I

---

"Maybe." Seiji's mouth quirks as he contemplates. "But I do not know many songs." Any songs, for that matter. He remembers melody — sometimes more than one. Though there is a certain tune his thoughts return to when he allows them to wander. "I can try," he says with a shrug. He hopes Remi might join him once he begins. The man's voice can't be so terrible — his speech is pleasant enough.

So Seiji allows his attention to focus inward for a time, contemplating. What had the others sung about? Old things, stories almost. Why can't he remember any? He tries to search back, his thoughts threading along that colder, haunting melody he returns to so often. Perhaps he never sang in his previous life. Perhaps the music was all wordless, like the voices of birds. He sighs, and begins to hum a simple melody in the back of his throat. He lets it wind up, build into something, before he adds the words. Simple words, like those of a children's song. "Spring is coming soon, but for now the cold wind blows, Through the fields and over water, Everywhere it goes..." and on, the words becoming easier to find, a stubborn memory unraveling like a knotted ball of string.

He has been so busy concentrating he failed to notice the brush of Remi's magic, at first. But now his eyes are up, Seiji spies the shoots of green near their feet. He stumbles between one word and the next, his eyes going wide. Shoots a glance at Remi, as if to say, you did this? and laughs. "Better than mine!" he says, cheerful, and motions toward the settlement. "Should we see if they will come with us?" he wonders, prepared to start singing again, however silly, if it helps to guide the deer where they are needed most.

The rain is full
of ghosts tonight

these mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb

Silently Remi watches, his eyes softly falling along the interesting contours of Seiji's face as his counterpart considers. Drawn by the lineless face and dark swath of hair, Remi smiles to himself, imagining some sort of library of melody being sorted through. The hum resonates easily, and the alchemist tilts his head in a decidedly avian gesture as the simple smile on his lips grows. He knows nothing of harmonizing, and so all he can do at the beginning is bob his head along slowly.

As the melody resolves itself into words, Remi tries to follow along, mostly hitting on the obvious rhymes at the end of each phrase. It's basic, but the deer seemed charmed just the same, and despite the lack of fanfare or preparation, they raise their heads and began to meander closer.

With a grin and energetic bounce of his shoulders, Remi nods. "I suppose it is worth a try, mmm? " He agrees optimistically. Continuing to hum-sing along when he can, Remi walks backwards, his fingers parting the snow and letting small spurts of greenery appear. As they walked, Remi would occasionally stop his singing to mention something or other to Seiji. Things about the settlement, about LongNight upcoming, and even the guild the alchemist had suggested the man check out. Always though he'd let the silence be captured by the melody as they walked onwards, deer in tow.


~FIN