this is me trying

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

Together again, and though it's only been a day or so, it feels much, much longer.  The bruises that still strangle Remi's neck and flush up the side of his face are vaguely reminiscent of camouflage patterning, whereas the bruises on his stomach are simply splatters of colour. It all looks worse than it is, Remi really only bothered by his split and swollen lip.

Opening his eyes and staring up at a ceiling that's still mostly unfamiliar, Remi takes a few moments to orient himself in his new bedroom. Already he can feel the heat rolling off of his husband, and he's more relieved that Ronin is back in Stormbreak than he thought he'd be. The very last place the alchemist wants to be just now is Torchline.

Pressing his fingers against his eyes and then letting both hands comb through his curls, Remi sighs as quietly as he can as he laces his fingers behind his head and regards the ceiling. He'll get up in another moment or two and make the pair of them coffee before waking Ronin up. What he wants is to roll over and press himself against skin that he knows is both warm and reassuring; in lieu of that, he's forced to stay on the cold side of the bed, with only the shadows on the ceiling to occupy his thoughts.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving Their bedroom doesn't really have a bed yet. It's just a very comfortable mattress that Ronin and his projection have strong armed into the space, covering it with furs and blankets and the squashiest pillows imaginable. It's cool and quiet in the room, enveloped in the pre-light of the dawn, and Ronin has even managed to set Mateo down in his own bed once he'd drifted off, so the men are alone when Remi starts to come around. Ronin has taken to sleeping half hanging off the mattress, just to avoid the possibility that he might end up seeking Remi out in the dark. But with the Lullaby away, he's naturally tumbled towards the middle of the mattress, as the body next to him begins to shift and move, Ronin starts to glow. Because of course he does - even still mostly asleep, his feelings about his husband are undeniable, and as sleepy eyes peel open, the urge to reach for Remi is almost irresistible. "Mm... I bet you feel amazing right now," he complains under his breath.

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

The room illuminates with soft light, letting Remi know that the time he had to himself (and to make coffee) has passed. He's relieved for Ronin's slow steps out of slumber though; being alone with his thoughts has never been the best for the alchemist as of late.

'Mmm?' Remi wonders, letting his cheek flop to the side to regard the glowing figure next to him. At first he assumes it's some sort of sarcasm, or dig at Remi's bruises or his poor handling of things with Nate. But if Ronin knew about what had happened, he surely wouldn't be languidly waking up. "You're in luck, because you'd likely hurt me if you tried." He mumbles through a half-smile that can't grow any wider without splitting Remi's lip open again. That said, he reaches out with his foot to poke his husband's leg with his toes, that seeming like an appropriate amount of contact.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving Remi's cold toes against his leg shouldn't feel as good as they do, and Ronin's sleepy grin says as much. "Hurt you...?" he repeats, adorably bemused as he comes around, and through the glow of his own starlight he spots the stark blots of bruises on Remi's skin. Blue eyes sharpen immediately, Ronin sitting up and leaning back on his hands to gaze across at the other man. "What happened?" he wants to know, and the soft glow in his skin fractures into something more dangerous somehow. Reaching out, Ronin fumbles to light a lantern and stifles a yawn behind his hand that's more an annoyance than a part of his peaceful wakeup, and he's rubbing at his eyes to force himself to focus. "Are you okay?" he wants to know, instinctively reaching for Remi to offer comfort, to offer a second pair of eyes on what's happened, before his hand freezes and pulls away. "Do you want me to...?"

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

They are likely the two strongest in all of Caido at the moment, and immortal both. Still, it's endearing how Ronin abruptly sits up, riled and ready to defend Remi despite being in the safety of their bed. "I went to the Grounds to see Isla, and..." Remi moves to sit up as well, reaching out for one of the furs to keep his modesty safely covered for both their sakes. "..Nate found me first." He adds slowly.

"I'm okay." Remi replies, before pausing as if reconsidering. "I think anyway. I...I really did try with him." The alchemist laments, frowning from one side of his mouth while trying to keep the other half still. As Ronin reaches out Remi tenses slightly, torn between what he wants and needs, and what's probably for the best.

"More than anything." He whispers, green eyes made all the more pale by the diffused lantern-light. Raising his own hand to place gently over Ronin's, Remi guides it atop the cheek that didn't have to endure Nate's knuckles against it. "I really did try." He must have failed, somehow, but he did really try.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving It doesn't surprise Ronin at all, to hear that Remi went to visit Isla - he'd been expecting it, of course, when the Lullaby had flown away to portal to the Greatwood. But to have run into Nate as well? It takes a lot for eyes as bright as Ronin's to grow dark, but the Star manages it somehow, especially as his husband guides his fingers against the familiar warmth of his cheek. A thumb strokes along a stubbled jawline, and the breath he skip in almost sounds like a hiccup, so hasty is he. "I believe you," he whispers when Remi says he tried, with Nate, and it's with barely a thought that he reaches for another of the blankets, wrapping it around his husband that he might at least sit closer under the illusion of touching, but without as much dark temptation. Still, if the alchemist decides to fold against him, he'll find Ronin's arms as welcoming as ever. "I posted a notice, to see if any Accepted were interested in joining the Dragoons. Nate had something to say about that as well."

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

Remi all but shivers as Ronin's hand comes to rest on his cheek. The feelling of skin against his cheek is by no means a rarity, and yet the alchemist is positive he's never felt anything like this before. Intimate in such a way as to leave him all but gasping for breath, Remi can't help the shuddery laugh that slips from his lips in a relieved puff of air.

Ronin is as endearing and heroic as he's ever looked, with his bed-ruffled hair, bare chest, and dark, dark eyes. Sex aside, in that moment all Remi wanted was to link their hands and stretch himself over Ronin. The mere thought of being pressed against the Star, so completely, promised to fix everything, and it took a reserve of willpower untapped since his days in Northaven to resist pinning his husband against the sheets on which they sat.

"Why would he care about that?" Remi wonders, leaning his cheek into his husband's palm; it's a poor replacement for the full-body embrace that he wants, but it's more than he thinks he can ask for. Besides, he'll not ruin the foundation upon which he and Ronin are building their new life because of Nate.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving It's intoxicating, the feeling of Remi's cheek pressed against his hand, and gods but Ronin just wants to lean in and kiss his husband. To kiss it all better, he realises, and fuck if it's not a siren song and a half as they sit together here in the dark. He resists, though, just about, his fingers finding one of Remi's curls to absently tuck it behind his ear, before he lets out a heavy sigh. "I don't know," he mutters. "Something about making our stance on Ascended clear, turning the Accepted against the Ascended in Torchline...?" Ronin shakes his head. "Honestly, I think I'm going to send him a response in private." Whether the Star was considering such a thing prior to Remi's return is something they'll never know. Whether Ronin is talking about a letter or a personal visit, too, is a little fuzzy. Tearing his thoughts away from such a thing enough to gaze back at Remi, Ronin forces himself to soften. "Where did he get you?"

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

He can't continue to sit like this, Remi realizes. He knows how those lips would feel against his, bruised and bloody or not. Even the body heat he feels coming off of Ronin has the alchemist's toes curling beneath the blankets. It's all the worse for being able to imagine it in excruciating detail: the bristle of Ronin's cheek against his own, the feeling of the soft furs beneath his back with the muscular curve of Ronin's body all around him. His cheeks flush and his eyes blink away hazy images as Remi realizes that Ronin has been saying something. "...what?" Which is also what he'd have said had he heard Ronin.

"Since when is Nate involved in all of this? I thought he and Sunjata were just going to...try and avoid it." It being the war, of course.

"In the Grounds. I heard him coming and went down an alley so no one else would get hurt." Remi replies. "He hit me before I ever had a chance to say anything.." Shaking his head slightly, all too aware of how it reinforced the feel of Ronin's hand against his cheek in a bright puff of new sensation, the alchemist pulls in a breath as he looks toward the ceiling for a moment. "..I don't think he was ever interested in talking." Remi says, still staring at a shadow that flits and plays overhead.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving Ronin has already caught himself more than once, subconsciously shifting closer to Remi and almost trying to put his arm around the other man. And eventually he makes himself create distance, huffing out a long breath and rubbing at his eyes as he shuffles to sit back with his hands in his lap. "That's what I thought too," he says, equally as confused by the way the Ascended seems to be posturing towards being an active participant in the war to come. It would certainly be a sidestep from everything he'd come to understand so far... and it's unfortunate, too, because right now Ronin wants to punch his fucking head off. I don't think he was ever interested in talking. Funny, that. Ronin feels the same. And it's only when he tastes copper on his tongue that he realises he's bitten the inside of his mouth, forcing out a breath in a slow whoosh. "I'm sorry, Remi. I just... I am a lot angrier about this than I thought I'd be. I just want to..." He gestures helplessly, as if to try to wordlessly tell his husband he wants to wrap them both up in a blanket burrito until the press of their bodies makes it almost too hot to stay in bed. "I love you. I just... all the ways I normally help you to feel better are..." Touchy. "Shall I make some coffee?"

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

"You feel like a pot that's about to boil." Remi comments, before his head tilts to the side. "No, now you're definitely boiling." The tension, sexual and pure anger, is palpable. Remi doesn't need his empathy magic to feel what this news is doing to his husband, and for Nate's sake, Remi is glad that they're in Flowerbirth and Leafchange. "Nate said if I ever hurt his family again he'd make a deal with whoever he needed to so that he could properly hurt me. Immortality makes petty revenge hard, I guess." Sweeping a hand over his eyes, Remi groans. "I suppose it was naive to think friendships wouldn't get in the way of things."

Ronin verbally gestures to what they both know is the case, and Remi can only let his eyes drop from the ceiling with a hollow laugh. "I'm sure it won't be the last time I say this, but I'm quite sure I've never wanted you more." Remi admits wearily; the truth wasn't the only thing that was hard.

"Please. Strong coffee sounds perfect right now."

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving If Ronin was boiling before, then the next thing Remi says has him positively bubbling over, and the way his knuckles are waxy and white against the sheets says it all. "Oh did he now," he says, all but whispering the words, and the starlight that splinters out of him is akin to the cracks in the ground before a volcano erupts, the magma peeking beneath. "Friendships didn't get in the way of this. He threatened you, he hurt you. After things were already settled." Swallowing hard, the Star forces himself to relax and lets his hands release the sheets, shaking them out so he might be able to slip out of bed. He, of course, is wearing star spangled boxers, and he goes to pull on his draconic robe (because why the fuck wouldn't you) so he can go and make coffee. His own interest in Remi quite obviously stands to attention as he moves, and it's with a few grumbling adjustments that he offers a sheepish smile to his husband. "Strong coffee. Maybe a shot of whiskey in it - I haven't decided yet. Take your time getting ready. We both probably need a couple of minutes to cool off." And with that, he shuffles off out of the room.

REMI

the lullaby

& i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

"He did." Remi agrees, wanting to smooth down Ronin's hackles with fingers in his hair and kisses to his cheeks. That he's forced to do it with words is only adding insult to (literal) injury at this point. "But he can't. There's no deal he can make with anyone that can harm either..of..." Remi's eyes slowly wander back and forth as the skin around them tightens. Looking toward the door, where Mateo sleeps, the alchemist's jaw clenches. Looking back to Ronin, brow furrowed, he gives his head a single shake. "He...wouldn't..?"

Would he?

Ronin sees himself out, and gods if it isn't just in time. Flopping back on the bed, Remi rubs the full length of his hands over his face and eyes several times. Even with the stars that blur across his vision, he's far too easily able to imagine the scenario where he'd dashed after Ronin only to tug him back to bed. "Gods, stop." He groans to himself, though his erection is heedless to listen to this command. Biting the inside of his lip, Remi heaves himself out of bed and tugs on sweatpants but nothing else.

Tiptoeing into the kitchenette, but only before peeking into Mateo's room to ensure their son was still happily (and safely) asleep, Remi joins his husband. Back turned, the alchemist winces at the sight of him. Crumpling his fingers into balls at his sides, Remi takes an experimental step forward as if waiting to see if anything will stop him from going to wrap his arms around Ronin's shoulders. "Honestly, right now I'm tempted to chew on those coffee grounds." He mutters, flushed.

& i know that you'll use them, however you want to

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

RONIN if there's one thing i'm good at, it's surviving No. He wouldn't. Because he'd be dead before he so much as had a chance to do anything of the sort. Ronin has removed himself from the bedroom and is currently leaning against the counter with his back to Remi, waiting for the coffee to brew without actually doing anything to make that happen. To say that his mind is scattered is an understatement, and he dabs at his lips with the back of his hand; they still come away bloody, thanks to the Star biting his cheek. Clearing his throat and straightening up to hear Remi pad into the kitchenette behind him - their home is a mix of slouchy, second hand furniture and bohemian decorations (plants hanging from the ceiling included) - he tries to find the courage to turn around without wanting to reach for his husband. Instead, of course, he moves to actually brew the coffee. "Gods, don't tempt me," he rumbles, turning to lean back against the counter. "Why does it feel wrong to want to hold you? Like it's something we should be better at not wanting?"