balancing on breaking branches

Maeve

She's wearing his clothes again. Borrowed things that drown her small form, covering ugly purple bruises that are splashed across her ribs, mixing with the marks so affectionately left on her skin by his teeth. The sweater is warm. It keeps out the chill even as the borrow socks bunch around her ankles, unable to stay up no matter how she tugs them repeatedly. A pair of his boxers act as shorts for her, rolled at the waist until they're short tight enough to stay up on her hips. She hasn't been avoiding him or anyone really. Maeve's just trying to stay out of the way. Trying not to move too much. The pain flares occasionally, making her vision blur with tears as she refuses to take the pain killers given to her after they made her sick the first night. Instead the bottle is left discarded in Sunjata's room.

Maeve finds herself in what might be another office. There are bookshelves lining the wall and a plush leather reading chair situated near an empty fireplace. This is where she's curled up, hiding so no one can see her finally break down. With knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around the top and face pressed there she finally lets herself have a moment to feel her loss.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

It has been a relatively troubling time with a fairly full house, all things considered. Luckily for him, those that have arrived are more than happy to help out where they can — helping prepare meals and indulge in Kamaria’s wild questions. For him, though, it’s been hardly any sleep as per usual, set up in his office with papers strewn about, with Haai at the foot of the desk keeping watch.

A thought occurs to him, from a book left behind in the other room, and he sets down the papers he’s been working on in order to make room for it. But he has to get it first. So he rises, a cigarette hanging from his lips, leaving the room and heading into the one Maeve’s in, without realizing it initially. His fingers trail along the spines, before he plucks the book from the shelf and pops it open.

He turns, gaze lifting momentarily from the book to find Maeve’s crumpled form in the chair, and he reaches up to pull the cigarette from his lips. “Oh.” He says a bit unhelpfully. “I’m sorry. I can go.” He isn’t sure whether she wants someone to stay with her or whether she’d prefer him to leave — his mind pulled at all sorts of ends.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

So caught up in the surge of her grief, Maeve doesn't even hear him come in. Doesn't realize that she's no longer alone and that her sniffles and quiet sobs aren't left unheard. Maeve's head snaps up quickly and she instantly regrets it when it starts a throbbing behind her eyes. She reaches up, roughly wiping tears away with her sleeve as she shakes her head, "No.. No.. It's fine. You don't have to go anywhere, Jata." Maeve murmurs hoarsely, throat still tight as she wills the lump away in an attempt to control herself. Another sniffle leaves her as she looks up at him with red rimmed eyes, the normally soft green of her irises having shifted into something darker with her sorrow.

"You don't happen to have another one of those, do you?" She nods slightly, towards the cigarette he holds between his fingers. Perhaps a smoke would soothe her nerves, flatten them out into something more manageable. That's her hope at least. They've hardly seen each other since the other night. Once everyone got settled she was quick to rest herself and most of the next day had been spent checking in with everyone she needed to and getting in touch with Remi to organize the transportation of those who wanted to leave the monsoons for less violent rain.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

“Okay.” He says quietly, still distractedly, sticking a feather in the book as to not lose his place when he moves to go and sit on the foot rest before where she sits. “I always do.” He says lightly, pulling out another one and lighting it from the end of his own, before he passes it off to her and settles with the book in his lap.

He considers it a moment, a prompt for Haai to enter so she can start the fire in the hearth, while his focus remains on her. “Have you been taking your medicine?” He asks after a moment, noticing how worn down she is. He can’t particularly help with the mental side of it, bearing the brunt of it himself as well, but he can try to ensure the physical side of her is hopefully on the mend.

His gaze watches her, expectantly, as Haai rounds to sit beside him, curling up around his seat.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

Maeve watches quietly as he tucks the feather into the book to mark his place and she distractedly notes that the ones he gave her are likely lost along with the seashells. Absentmindedly her fingers find the pearls that lay tucked beneath the collar of her borrowed sweater, brushing across the smooth surface over them in a motion she's taken to doing when the stress becomes too much. He sits himself at her feet and without thinking much of it, her legs extend so her sock covered toes can press into his thigh because the need to touch him is strong. He's always brought her comfort before. Why would now be any different? The heat of his skin soaks through the layers of his clothes and her own until her toes grow warm.

Delicately she takes the cigarette from him, inhaling the smoke shakily as she brings it up to her lips, holding it until her lungs burn. Maeve exhales slowly, "Thank you.." She sniffles, wiping at another stray tear that starts to slip down her flushed cheek. Haai trots into the room, sparking a fire to life in the hearth and the flames quickly bring a new warmth to the room. Her eyes slowly focus on him, but she quickly drops her gaze at the question. "No... I haven't." Maeve says softly, peeking up at him from beneath her lashes and she already knows he's going to scold her for it. She doesn't have it in her to sass back and push at him with her usual playfulness.

It's true that she does look worn down. Between trying to figure out if the Halenani could be rebuilt, checking in with everyone, and blatantly ignoring her own injuries that need tending, things were getting to her. The pain makes it hard to sleep. The stress makes it hard to eat. The pills don't sit well on an empty stomach which in turn makes her sick. Something's gotta give.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

He settles near her feet while Haai moves into the room to light the fire in the hearth. It roars to life and smoke clings to her maw as she rounds back toward them. Her leg extends and presses against his thigh and he readjusts the book in his lap so that his free hand can move to rest on her calf, offering whatever warmth he can from this distance. A nod is given to her thanks, before his question is aired and she drops his gaze nearly immediately.

He works at his lower lip, a slow exhale leaving him as he nods. “Why not?” He asks instead, choosing not to berate her or anything. Gods knew it was hard enough for Sunjata to take his own medicine half the time – though most of that was due to his own self destructive tendencies, of wanting to feel the pain rather than mask it away.

It’s part of the reason he still has so many scars, why he’s so stubborn when it comes to healing.

Regardless of her answer, he continues to chew on his lower lip until he draws the cigarette back to his lips. “How can I help?”

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

He doesn't scold her or berate her. He supplies her with nothing but a gentle question and a reassuring hand on her calf. Maeve curls her upper half until she can lay her cheek against her arm that's still resting over the tops of her knees. Everything hurts and she's exhausted. She knows that he is too, but she can hardly even think to take care of him when she can hardly take care of herself at the moment. Maeve takes another draw from the cigarette and the nicotine is starting to do its job in soothing her frazzled nerves. It helps just a little. "Makes me sick. I threw up four times the fist night I took it." A grimace pulls on her features as she exhales the smoke.

She hasn't been eating. Something he possibly hasn't noticed. She's not really sure if he's had the capacity to notice it. He's been so busy, working hard to try and help her fix this. To make sure that their people are taken care of. Another question is aired and she sighs, closing her eyes for a moment as she considers her words. How can he help? He can't turn back time. He can't change what's already happened. It's done and that's the end of that.

Finally she opens her eyes, meeting his gaze and seeing nothing but genuine concern for her wellbeing reflected in the steel of his irises. He's so good to her. Even if he doesn't realize it. "I don't really know..." Maeve admits honestly, pausing as she tries to think of something. "This might seem silly, but.. can you just hold me for a bit?" She asks softly, too tired to really be embarrassed. It's a fairly simple thing to ask for in the grand scheme of things. His touch and the comfort he brings her an easy thing for him to provide.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

“You’re supposed to take it with food.” He comments quietly, noticing her grimace, but having nothing more to say other than the obvious. He’d read the label, after all. But it’s all he can do to try and offer some amount of comfort, some semblance of an attempt despite the candle being lit at both ends. He’s trying, still not sleeping well, and with a house full of his people while he worries for those left behind in the Clinic and the Society all the same as she does.

Still, he offers it, and he waits to see what she says.

Her eyes open and he meets her gaze, something level and steely within his own as he scans her face. The answer he gets is one that’s surprisingly easy to do, and he nods, moving to stand, stepping around the leg that’s outstretched so that he might scoop her up into his arms, before he replaces her where she’s originally sat.

“Better?” He asks, propping his legs up on the seat he’d just departed, gaze leaving her to scan the fireplace, before they return on her.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

Maeve huffs a soft breath, "I know I'm supposed to have it with food, but I'm not hungry and the thought of eating doesn't sound all that appealing either." She's being difficult and perhaps a touch pouty. It's been a shit couple of days and he doesn't deserve her attitude. Maeve knows how hard he's trying. She knows he's having a rough go of it too. Yet he continues to indulge her. Sunjata stands, gently scooping her up and holding her to his chest before he's taking her old seat. Her head drops against his shoulder as she squeezes her eyes shut to stave off the dizziness.

It isn't better because this isn't going to fix thing. Even still, she melts against him, sniffling softly as she presses into his chest. His warmth is welcome and it does feel nice to be held. To have something solid to focus on. He's not going anywhere. The monsoons can't wash him away like they've done with everything else. He's here with her and they're both trying to be better. To do their jobs even though they're tired. "Not really..." Maeve whispers, voice breaking on those two words as the tears start to well up again as he shifts to look down at her.

"I- I lost everything, Jata... That place was my home. The only place that's ever felt like a home. Not just my home either..." She feels like she's failed them. She didn't keep them safe from the storms. Their lively foods taken away with their belongings. She can rebuild eventually, but until then they're left with nothing. The sinking feeling in her stomach grows stronger and she tries so hard not to break, but she doesn't just break, she crumples. A sharp inhale that makes her lungs ache as the first quiet sob catches in her throat, tears slipping hotly down her cheeks as she squeezes her eyes shut.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

He hears her comments, offers a quiet nod, before he can’t stop himself from speaking again. “You’ll feel better when you do, though.” He offers her a bit unhelpfully, before he’s standing and scooping her up into his arms, holding her close to his chest as he settles. His question to follow up is answered, not in the way he has hoped, but he understands.

His lips form a frown as he nods, tearing his gaze away from her to look back at the fire. “You and the rest of the workers are resilient, Maeve. You’ll get through it, rebuild, and start again.” Because they had to. There was no other options for them. “I lost everything when I came here.” He says quietly. “There’s nothing you can’t do when you’re stubborn as hell and persistent.” A small half smile forms on his face. “You can do it.” A gentle encouragement, his gaze dropping back down to her to see how she takes it.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

Another sound of soft frustration rises in her throat and she's tempted to snap at him. To tell him to just let it be. Except he's just trying to take care of her. If it was someone else maybe she would have snapped. Maybe she wouldn't have let the argument she was preparing to make fall silent on her lips. It's him, though. There are still watery sobs trying to rise in her throat and Maeve does her best to silence them with a long drag from the cigarette. It doesn't work the way she wants it to as the smoke sputters out from between her lips as the quiet sobs win. "I know... I'll try later, okay? Just.. just can't right now." She finally manages through hitching breaths as she reaches up with her free hand to wipe roughly at her face.

He continues with his gentle encouragements, trying his best to rally her and in turn Maeve tries her best to be rallied, but she's in too deep right now. The swirling storm of her emotions dragging her out deeper into the waves, threatening to pull her under and overtake her. "It's not a matter of if I can, Jata. I know I can. It's everything else." She confesses, pressing her face into his chest, wanting so badly to ground herself. How can she be a good leader when she can't even do this? The guilt of not doing enough weighs heavy on her. She couldn't fix this right away. She couldn't help them the way she wanted to. She felt useless.

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

Perhaps he should have expected the fire behind her exhausted, pained state. But he doesn’t – not in the way that she does it, wiping at her face. “Okay.” He says quietly, drawing silent for a few brief moments, a few heartbeats as he peers between her and the fire and Haai dutifully waiting for something, though the both of them don’t know what.

But he tries to lift her spirits, and he finds that it doesn’t work as she offers her confession, pressing her face into his chest, and Sunjata doesn’t know what to say or do, so he simply sits there and lets her bury her face into his chest, lets his gaze lift to dance between Haai and the fire, letting silence overcome him aside from the quiet. “I know.” That’s uttered.

He’d been there too, multiple times in his life, and perhaps the reason he spirals so intensely is due to the fact that he never truly got a chance to break apart like this. It had always been go, go, go and never anything else, no time to sit and wallow. And when he did get the chance to, he hated himself too much to bear it. So he remains silent, choosing to settle and let her come to terms with it on her own end.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA

Maeve

He has the patience of a saint right now. Whether he realizes it or not. He lets her snap and fuss and cry. He holds her though it until she rides that wave of emotion back to shore. Eventually her soft sobs quiet into hiccups and she finally lifts her head to look up at him. Her eyes red rimmed and a little puffy, cheeks flush, and her gaze glassy. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve to be snapped at. I know you're just trying to help." Maeve murmurs, voice a little rough from her crying, but now that she's had a moment to process she's already feeling a bit better.

Everything still hurts and she's got a lot of work ahead of her, but she doesn't feel like she's going to shatter to pieces anymore. If anything she can pick up what's broken and piece herself back together again. Maeve sniffles softly, offering him a wane smile in hopes of easing things even if she's still in the thick of it. "Thank you.. for everything. Putting up with me, helping with getting everyone sorted. Just.. everything."

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do

save your eyes for someone brighter than i will ever be

After what feels like a long while, Maeve finally looks up and Sunjata’s gaze simply lingers on Haai for a long while after, before his gaze drops to meet her. “It’s okay.” He murmurs to her, unsure what else to say. He’s offered help and bolstering for her previously but for now, he can’t do much other than this, to hold her and let her pull herself back together. And that’s exactly what he does.

He shifts his legs a bit beneath her, spying her smile and offering a small one of his own, keeping his hands where they are so as to not hurt her should he run his fingers along her tender side. “You’re welcome.” He murmurs to her, before he’s leaning back and resting his head against the back of the chair, shutting his eyes to try and loosen some of the tension within him. “I don’t mind, really. It’s… A lot to deal with and if I can make it easier, then, I want to.” A shoulder rises and falls in a shrug, the honesty leaving his lips with ease.

don't hesitate to bring me to my knees

SUNJATA