From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
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Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
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04-19-2021, 07:14 PM (This post was last modified: 04-19-2021, 07:14 PM by Maeve.)
Maeve
She's nervous. More nervous than she thought she was going to be coming to see him. Except she can't put it off anymore. Especially not now when she's well enough to walk without getting winded. So it's with Ronin's directions that Maeve finds herself at the Dragon's Nest. Her heart in her throat and her stomach twisted in knots. She's excited to see him, but after the last letter she's not sure where they stand. Not to mention everything with Sunjata. She wasn't honest with him. To be fair, she wasn't honest with herself when she wrote that. It's time to be a big girl.
Maeve walks through the gates, not even sure where she's meant to be looking for him. Surely he's around, right? Gods she hopes so. Otherwise she's just going to feel like a fool for doing this. Her hands smooth down the front of her dress, getting rid of non-existent wrinkles as green eyes flit to and fro in search of a familiar face.
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
He's mid-swing when he sees her, sword dropping to the dirt with a clatter. There's a moment of confusion as he tries to figure out why she's there before it's quickly overshadowed by sheer excitement. He takes a sharp breath, caught off guard by just how quickly he makes his way to her. His hands find her's before he has time to even stop himself.
"Mae! What are.. Why? It's not.." His face scrunches up as he looks at her, head tilting a little. Whatever excitement was painted on his face before is gone. "Shit. Are you okay?" Locke brings one hand up to brush her hair out of her face. He can tell something is up but he's not sure what. And if she's here, it can't be good. He knows she'd talked to Remi about coming earlier but..
"Here, let's go talk somewhere.. More private."
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
One moment she's looking around for him and the next he's there. He seizes her hands in a gentle grip and she can't help the smile that finds her lips as she looks up at him with wide eyes. He seems good. Healthy. Stormbreak looks to have been kind to him. Maeve nods, "I know. It's early." She wasn't supposed to be here until Longheat. That's the last thing he knew. Of course that was before her home crumbled into a heap of rubble where it's still being beaten by the storms. His fingers come up, gently brushing hair from her face and her heart clenches as her smile falters, "Not really. There's a lot to tell you." Maeve starts honestly, still holding onto his hand as he suggests heading somewhere else.
She follows him into the barracks and what she assumes is his sleeping space. It's empty this time of day. Most of the others out training or doing rounds. "I would have written to let you know, but the letter wouldn't have gotten here before I did." Maeve explains softly as to why he didn't know that she was coming. Gingerly she lowers herself onto the edge of his bed, wincing only for a moment as she finds a position that's comfortable that allows her to angle her body towards his.
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
Something about the way her smile falters when he touches her makes him cringe internally. He doesn't comment on it though, simple nodding and brushing his thumb over her knuckles. Their walk is quiet and he can't help the rising sick feeling well up inside him. He wonders if she got his letter. He wonders if it even matters. Locke helps her sit before sitting next to her. Every ounce of him wants to touch her again but he can't find it in himself.
"It's okay. You're here now." Even as he does his best to hide his excitement, it leaks out, just a bit. He wants more, to hug her, to kiss her, just to touch her in general. His hand creeps across the bed, stopping just shy of her leg. There's a pause and he makes a little noise, reaching under his bed to pull out a box. "Was gonna give this to you when you got here.. Guess you're here now though." He shakes the box a little, whatever is in it is soft. It's a little dragon plushy. He meant to send it with his last letter but didn't.
"What did you want to tell me?"
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
Maeve doesn't let go of his hand until she's sitting down, drawing in a breath that makes her ribs ache. She doesn't know where to start. Probably with the Halenani. That was likely the best bet. He's excited to see her and it just makes it worse. She never wanted to hurt him and she's pretty sure she's going to when she tells him everything. It isn't fair to keep it from him. If they're ever going to be something then he needs to know. Maeve smiles softly, reaching out to take his hand again, but before she has a chance he's pulling away and finding something under the bed to give her. She arches a brow, cocking her head to the side curiously. "Another gift?" Maeve carefully opens it up, revealing the little dragon plush and her smile grows a bit wider. "Oh, I love it! Thank you." Her fingers gently run over the soft fabric of its body before her eyes find his.
"Oh, right. Gods, where to even start." She blows out a breath, setting the box aside as she turns her attention back to him, brows knitting together at the pang in her ribs and she shifts until she finds something more comfortable. "Well, the Halenani didn't make it through like I hoped it would. We lost a load bearing wall and the whole thing collapsed. Thankfully everyone was out when it happened." She pauses, cringing slightly as she continues, knowing he's not going to be happy to hear it. "Except for me because I just had to check the rooms one more time just to be sure. I was on the second floor. Fell straight through and a beam landed on top of me. Mild concussion as well as some bruised and cracked ribs. The healers here did a pretty good job at patching me up, but I'm still pretty sore."
Maeve reaches for his hand now, taking it gently in her own and giving it a gentle squeeze, "I'm okay, though. All things considered we were pretty lucky. I was lucky."
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
The corner of his mouth quirks up in a grin when she takes the dragon. "Meant to send it with my last letter.." He says it softly, like he's afraid of what she might say. But then she winces when she leans down to put the box away. His smile falls and his hand finds her back, carefully as he touches her.
His eyes go wide as he listens to her story, searching her face for something but she mostly seems tired? He's not sure. His eyes narrow when she looks over at him but he quickly gives her a small smile. "Holy shit. Mae I'm so sorry.. I'm glad everyone was okay.. 'Specially glad you're okay. But I know it meant a lot to you.." He had asked her once what she'd do if she weren't a Madam but he didn't mean for it to happen like this.
When she takes his hand, he brings it up for a soft kiss. "You really were.. Always thought you were kind of lucky though. Just in general." Part of him wants to press about her being here, the healers. Why didn't she tell him? But he doesn't really care. She's here now, with him and that's what he wanted, right?
"How long are you staying?"
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
His last letter? So he had responded. Of course she hadn't gotten it. Given everything that happened. "Guess it's good you didn't. I never got your last letter." Maeve murmurs softly, a faint smile tugging at her lips. Perhaps if she had she would know what was happening here. Except she doesn't. His hand rests lightly on her back, supporting her as she straightens herself up into something that doesn't cause her body to protest.
"It was my home. The only place that I really knew as a home. I can't.. I can't help feeling like if I had done more then it would still be here, but I thought I had done enough." She admits and it's just another thing she feels guilty about. All of her workers without a home. Out of the job until she can manage to fix this mess. His lips bush across her knuckles and her stomach flips at the tender motion. A sigh pushes past her lips as her eyes drop to their hands for a moment before she's meeting his gaze.
A laugh pushes past her lips in a huff and she arches a brow, "Oh? What makes you say that?" She asks, head tilting to the side curiously as she regards him. "I'm here until at least the beginning of Longheat. Possibly longer. I'm working on a plan for rebuilding and getting my strength back up." Maeve explains, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, "I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner. I just got here a few days ago and up until yesterday I was pretty much couch ridden."
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
So she hadn't gotten it.. He's starting to think it's for the best. He gives her a soft grin, laughing. "Suppose it is for the best then." He takes a sharp breath but bites down the rest of the nervousness bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. The hand on her back stays, his thumb gently brushing against her. The flood gates were opened and he has to touch her.
"You can't control the storms, Mae. Unless you can, then yeah, maybe should have tried harder. But unless something's changed.." Another press of his lips to her knuckles as he holds her gaze. He wants to kiss her, properly. The bed creaks as he shifts a little closer to her. It doesn't seem right to do it now, but maybe soon. "Just a chance to rebuild it, better. Sometimes you gotta tear shit down to make it stronger, yeah?" He doesn't know what he's talking about but it feels right.
"Don't know really. I mean you managed to get out with only a few kinda minor injuries, all of your girls are alright.. Seems pretty luck to me." Maybe she doesn't see it that way. He would understand if she didn't. He does though. She's alive and that's enough for him. The thought of her being here longer makes his chest tighten up. He had planned on leaving with her when she came to visit. Staying longer was fine though. "I understand. I just wish.. I had known. I would've made you.. soup or something. I could've come to you."
Maybe she just didn't want him around. It lingers in the back of his head. But he gives her a little grin anyway.
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
"Otherwise I would have never gotten it. Given the fact that I just lost basically everything... I'm glad that you didn't send him. Would have hated to lose him too." Maeve relaxes under his touch, allowing the tension to leave her muscles as she lets herself get comfortable here in his room. She spots the blanket she made him on the end of the bed, a fluttering starting in her chest.
A sigh leaves her and she presses her lips into a thin line, "I know I can't, but I could have prepared more. I could have done something." There is no sense in dwelling on it now, but the guilt still eats at her even though she knows she should just let it go. It's done. Nothing left to do but more forward. Green meets hazel as his lips press against her knuckles again and she shakes her head, "No, I didn't suddenly get a bunch of magical abilities right after you left." She huffs, a laugh pushing past her lips as the smile playing there actually reaches her eyes. He shifts himself a little closer and she tries to ignore the way her heart races. "Is that how the saying goes? Don't think I've hear it put like that before." Her tone is teasing as she continues to hold his gaze.
"I didn't get out on my own. Uhm, Sunjata was at the Slagveld when the building started to go. He saw it happen and came in after me. He's the reason I got out. He's also the reason my girls had somewhere to go. He helped get them treated and sheltered until I can get things up and running again. I guess it was lucky, though." She could be dead right now. She could have been crushed by the beam. She could have bled out. A lot of things could have happened, but in the end she made it out. She was here now. "I'm sorry... I was honestly sleeping most of the time. I didn't really sleep much the first few nights after. You can still make me soup if you really want to."
It wasn't that she didn't want to see him. That she didn't want him around. She had other things going on is all. It had nothing to do with him.
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
He sighs softly as she relaxes, hand starting to slowly smooth over her back. He can feel the faint heat coming off her. He wonders if it still hurts, if he should stop. She seems alright with it though so he doesn’t. She’d tell him right? ”You can lie down if you need to. Not the most comfortable thing in the world but it might help.”
”Now you know for next time. And I don’t think that’s how it goes but it’s true, sometimes.” His gaze is soft but he returns her laugh. He doesn’t know how to feel about any of this. He’s just glad she’s okay. He understands the attachment to the Halenani though. He wonders if his place is still standing. He’s not sure he’d be upset if it wasn’t. ”Well, when you decide to rebuild, I’d be happy to help. I might know much about that kind of thing but I like physical labor.” Another laugh before he drops her gaze to look at their hands. So soft and small in his.
His eyes linger for a moment as she talks before finding her’s again, ”I’m glad he found you..” Sunjata has done everything for her it seems. Locke has done nothing. His jaw clenches and unclenches as he looks at the floor, then at her, ”I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I-” He stops himself, shaking his head. ”It’s okay. It really is. You need to rest, to heal. M’glad you have a safe place to do it.” He just wants to help, to be there for her. He’s already missed so much he should’ve been around for. “I’ll make you some soup soon. Where are you staying?”
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
It doesn't hurt as much as his did. His touch is light enough that it isn't enough to actually cause any sensation besides one of relaxation as he rubs her back gently. "No.. I don't need to lie down. This is fine. I promise." Maeve soothes, giving his hand a soft squeeze as she finds herself shifting closer to him without realizing it.
"I do. I'll be more prepared. Pretty shitty that I had to learn about it this way." Maeve huffs, shaking her head as she looks over at him and there is a hint of pain in her usually soft eyes. Things are off. The weight of unsaid words and unshared feelings making things difficult to navigate. Neither of them wanting to breach the topic. "Thank you, Locke. As soon as I know what the plan is I'll be sure to recruit you." And she means it too. She knows he'll help her no matter what it comes to. Unless this all goes to shit. She doesn't know yet.
Locke looks down, the muscles in his feathering when she mentions Sunjata. His words don't match his expression and she worries for a moment that she's already fucked this up. "I probably wouldn't be here if he hadn't." Her brows knit together and she presses her lips into a thin line, "Locke.. don't. You being there wouldn't have changed what happened with the building. It wouldn't have really changed anything. Maybe I wouldn't have been in there, but I was. We can't change anything now. All that we can do is focus on now." There isn't any heat in her words. Just a gentle reassurance as she reaches up with her free hand to cup his cheek, thumb brushing lightly over the skin there. "I'm staying at Ronin and Remi's house right now. In the Pacifist Plaza."
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
”Okay. Just let me know.” His voice is soft as she squeezes his hand. He wonders if he’s being too much. He always feels like he’s being too much with her. It’s funny because she had told him the same thing about herself. Briefly he wondered if he just sees another side of her or if she mutes herself for him. He shoves the thought down, trying not to focus too much on it.
Mostly because he’s focused on something else. ”It does.” It’s all he has to say because words are suddenly very hard. He can’t stop thinking about what could’ve happened. He’s genuinely happy that Sunjata found her. Because otherwise, she likely wouldn’t be here. And the thought weighs heavy on his heart. Locke’s not a strange to death, to the way it lingers in your bones like a cold night. He’s not even sure where he’s looking until her hand finds his face. Warm and alive, she’s here. The smile he gives her is soft if not sad as he leans against her hand. Hazel eyes flutter closed and he sighs, bringing the hand on her back up to curl around the hand touching him.
”Mae.” The words are shaky, hesitant as if he’s scared. Because he is. He hates being open, being vulnerable, giving someone else this kind of power over him. But he has to do it. Even if she rejects him, even if she doesn’t want him. Nothing will hurt worse than the regret he’d feel if he didn’t say something. ”I know you didn’t get my letter but..” A sharp breath, ”You’re wrong. I do know what I want. Always have. I want someone to take care of, someone to love me, someone who cares if I come home or not. I want kids, a family.” The words are barely spoken, a whisper for her only. There’s another pause, longer this time. The air between them is heavy and he hates every second of it.
He looks up at her, meeting her gaze. There’s a creak as the bed shifts under him. He’s tired of being scared, of not taking what he wants. He’s been so confused, so lost lately, so unsure of himself. Not anymore. His lips brush against her’s, the start of a proper kiss. ”I want you.”
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
The room grows heavy. Quiet. The air stills like it does when a storm is about to unleash its fury in the form of buckets and buckets of rain. Her heart pounds in her chest, slamming against her ribs wildly, feeling is if it might burst as they stay caught in this moment. Neither of them saying anything until her name falls off of his lips like a prayer he's unsure will be answered. Her breath catches in her throat, lungs already starting to burn as his hand covers hers, stilling the faint tremor that's started in the tips of her fingers. She wants to stop him. She wants to reach out and cover his mouth with her palm to keep him from uttering the words.
She's a liar. She lied and she doesn't deserve this. Deserve him. She has feelings for Sunjata and Locke and one of them wants her in the way she so desperately craves. While the other will never be hers. Not outside of stolen moments and distractions. Maeve has accepted that and she's trying her best to let it go. To move on. Nate is going to come back for him. They're going to raise Kamaria together. He already has his family. There isn't a place there for her, but there could be one with Locke. They could have all of those things. He could make her favorite cakes and spend afternoons lazily tangled up in bedsheets with her. They could have sex for breakfast and share all those moments in between. He could be hers and she could be his and anyone else's for that matter because he doesn't want to limit her.
He just wants her.
It hurts more than she can bare. The bed creaks and he leans forward, brushing his lips against hers in a barely there kiss. His first ever kiss and he's giving it to her. She doesn't fucking deserve it or him. It doesn't stop her from tightening her grip on him, fingers curling at the back of his neck and tugging him forward as she deepens that kiss. Even as her throat tightens and tears slip down her cheeks. Maeve squeezes her eyes shut, drawing in a sharp breath as she pulls back, shaking her head, "You shouldn't. Pick someone else, Locke. Anyone else. I- I don't deserve you and you don't deserve this." This being her. What she's doing right now.
"I lied, Locke. I did have feelings for him. They snuck up on me and I didn't want them to be happen. It wasn't supposed to, but it did. He'll never want me like that. The way you do. You... You want me and I- I don't want to hurt you because I'm selfish. I want him and you and I don't know if I'm made to love just one person." Her words tremble just as much as his did and the pain in her chest twists, tightening around her heart, threatening to shatter it. "And maybe that isn't a bad thing, but it feels wrong. It feels wrong to have my heart hurt by a rejection that never happened and to run into your arms instead even though I want to so badly. It isn't fair to you... So please... Pick anyone else because you deserve so much more than this. Than what I'm doing to you right now."
Finally she looks up at him, eyes glassy and red rimmed as tears continue to roll hotly down her cheeks. Her hand hasn't left his neck, fingers slipping into hair hair there and hanging on because she can't make herself draw away from him. Her body frozen in place, unwilling to break their connection. It might be the last time she ever gets to touch him. She just wants it to last.
Driving faster in my car Falling farther from just what we are
He didn’t mean to upset her. Maybe it was too much. But she’s kissing him back and he’s confused. He fingers slip into his hair and he makes a soft noise before she’s pulling away and crying. He fucked up. He knew. He wasn’t stupid. His eyes dart from her’s to her lips before back to her eyes. He shooshes her softly, thumb brushing the tears from her face even as she talks. He didn’t want this. He just wanted to be honest like she asked.
Locke can’t explain the tight feeling he has as she talks. He keeps brushing the tears away, content to hear her out. After all, she’d heard him out even though it clearly hurt. She finally stops and her fingers tangle into his hair. HIs eyes flutter closed for a moment as he tries to find the words he wants before he’s shaking his head. ”You’re such an idiot.” There’s no malice to it as he leans forward again. Another soft kiss, chaste before he presses his forehead against her’s. Yeah, it hurts. To think that part of this might just be her running away from her feelings for Sunjata. But he’s not really surprised. Her letter said something about her being jealous of his love for Nate and Locke had a feeling it wasn’t just someone loving someone else that much.
He wonders if he should be more upset by it. But he doesn’t find it in himself to be. She didn’t bring any of this up, he did. And maybe she was planning on it but she’s still here, isn’t she? ”I don’t care how you feel about him, Mae. I care how you feel about me. If you want me, then you can have me.” It’s true and he knows he’s being stupid by saying it. She’s clearly upset by all of this and he doubts he’s making it easier.
Maybe he should just walk away. Tell her he’s sorry and leave. Except that wouldn’t solve anything. She wants him, right? He wants her. Why can’t they just.. Have each other? His jaw clenches again, he’s not angry just.. Feeling a lot, even if he keeps it down.What right does he have to tell him to pick someone else? If he wanted someone else, he would’ve said as much. ”You don’t get to decide what I deserve. You don’t get to decide what I want.” It’s said softly as he nuzzles against her. It’s true though. She can say he doesn’t deserve this, that he should find someone else. But that’s not her choice to make.
”Don’t think I’m made to love one person either.” He’s not even sure if he can love. Not like that anyway. But he’s willing to try. ”Not even asking you to love me. Just asking you to give me a chance. If things don’t work out, then they don’t work out. But I said I wanted to try. I didn’t know what I meant then but I know now.” He threads one hand into her hair, a soft sigh falling from his lips. Her hair has gotten longer. It’s only been a few weeks but so much has happened.
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more These conversations kill
