From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
What if we're all just sleeping satellites Why do we drift so far from home
Seren’s words of comfort have brought her here at last. There is no further time for waiting, worrying. Each day she grows a little bigger, the swell of life prominent on her petite frame. Remi knows now. Deimos...doesn’t. Precisely why she must do this now. Her best friend would not hesitate to bar her from their plans and efforts the moment he knew she was pregnant, and so she must have an answer already in place before she can tell him the news - or before he figures it out himself.
The shrine in the Sea of Glass is more appealing to Hotaru than the one in the Citadel. Isolated, open. Nothing but the sea and sky for miles. Just her and the tiny extra heartbeat that she carries.
Bundled more heavily than normal, it’s difficult to kneel, but she takes the moment to appreciate not currently being the size of a whale. It will happen, she’s sure of it. Experience alone attests to that. At her side is the same wicker basket she’d used for her last offering, filled this time with edible snowberries and their dark leaves, clustered around one of the glass pendant samples she’d made for Maeve (before throwing them off the table to have sex on the rug).
“Frey, I know you gave me your time not long ago, but I am in need of your help.” Praying aloud comforts her, and the mild wind steals the sound, no mortal ears around to hear it.
Why do we wake ourselves from paradise Where we will never be alone
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
The wind sighs, and from the broken ground a single flower emerges. Perhaps I might help you instead. A voice sings out, coloured by honeyed warmth and seemingly emanating from the flower.
"I know what you want. And I can give you the answer you seek if you're willing to answer a few questions first."
The air grows still as the vibrance of the flower grows.
What if we're all just sleeping satellites Why do we drift so far from home
Hotaru blinks in surprise at the flower that emerges, and though her fingertips wander closer she refrains from touching it despite her desires. This is not Frey, she knows that, and unease settles in her belly. But the spirit she’d met in the Climb had not been cruel, and Hotaru is a woman of faith for all her flaws.
“I am willing,” she assures, firm but soft. Even if this is a mistake, she must try. Settling more firmly on the ground to alleviate the slight pressure in her hips, Hotaru watches the flower bloom brighter still, captivated by its simple beauty as she awaits the question the spirit intends to ask first.
Why do we wake ourselves from paradise Where we will never be alone
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
"Tell me...this is not your first child, and yet...I only sense the heartbeat of this one little life remaining..." The flower sways slightly from a breeze that does not exist. Its colours are radiant and light as dew forms in the crevices on its petals.
What if we're all just sleeping satellites Why do we drift so far from home
It is a painful question, but entirely fair considering what she is asking for. Her eyes squeeze tight in grief all the same. She takes a steadying breath, and lays her hand gently over her stomach - there is barely a protrusion there still, but it is growing steadily, and already she has begun to take comfort from touching it.
“My first daughter was named Arya. She was cursed with immortality, and she made her own life and home when she grew. Our homeland was destroyed, and I never saw her again. Whether she made it through the portals that opened…I don’t know.” The not knowing hurts the worst sometimes. Unsure whether to grieve or pray some days. Opening her eyes, she stared at the flower, speaking to it for lack of a face to gaze upon. “My twins Romina and Ru’in had grown enough that when the false god came, Ru’in chose to fight. It was doomed from the start, and when he was killed before us, Romina followed him. She could never bear to be parted from him.” Quiet tears drip down her golden cheeks, haunted by the memories of their destruction. “Cas and Gal made it through with their father. Wherever they are, I pray they still live.” They’d barely moved on from her milk when she’d lost them, but Thranduil - beloved Thranduil - had been there, children in hand, when the portal had destabilized and she had been tossed to a different destination.
“Ru’in made it here before I did. But I was too late - by the time I arrived, the monsters in the Grounds had already taken him.” Her breaths come hard and ragged with emotion. This pain, it’s one she will never be free of. She carries them like arrowheads embedded in her heart. Every pulse hurts anew, but at least they are shepherded close, incapable of ever being parted from her memories. “I can’t lose another. When they are born, I can protect them - there are so many who already love them. But I am my own weakness; while they grow inside me, they are so easily harmed.” And violence is a necessity of her plans to ensure a safe, secure place for her child to grow.
Why do we wake ourselves from paradise Where we will never be alone
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
To anyone watching, it would seem that Hotaru is merely bearing her grief to a flower growing through the ice. The blossom, like the woman who sits before it, have both survived insurmountable odds to be where they are now. Both are strong, yet need aid at times. Both beautiful.
"Can you protect this life once it is alive? You have not managed it with any of your other children." The flower points out coldly. "And now, before this one is even born, already you are planning to put yourself in harm's way." Without a mouth, the flower manages to tut. "You are not fit to be a mother."
What if we're all just sleeping satellites Why do we drift so far from home
It is cruel, perhaps, but nothing she has not said to herself many times over in her own mind. As such she knows exactly the stance the spirit takes. For so long Hotaru was convinced she was cursed to bring life into the world like lambs to slaughter. It was why she’d been so terrified to even imagine a child with Nate and Sunjata. Funny how fate has a way of turning things on their heads.
“I can’t protect them from their own choices as they grow. They are people, with minds and desires of their own. All I can do is prepare them.” And what chance did they have back then, still long-limbed children with distant dreams of adulthood, against a god itself? For once she wonders if perhaps she shouldn’t have blamed herself so fully. “But every decision I have made, every power I have worked to earn, it has been with the goal of keeping them safe. Safer than I could in the past.” So that she might have another chance. Be stronger, faster. Intercede when their decisions lead them down a path of harm and ruin. “It’s a harm I am willing to bear to secure the safest home I can give them as soon as I can - but not at their expense.” Waiting is a possibility, but what then of the war? “I may not be fit to be a mother. But this life is already growing inside me, and I will do whatever it takes to not make the same mistake.” Hotaru cannot turn back the clock, and will not end this life before it has begun - but she can leave her pride behind, and reach outward for help.
Why do we wake ourselves from paradise Where we will never be alone
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
"Goals don't matter. Outcomes do. Your children are dead, Hotaru." The flower shivers. "Oh! It rhymed!" It chuckles gleefully.
"You will do whatever it takes? Well then. We have come to what I promised. The thing you seek. Protection while your baby grows. It is quite simple: stop being selfish long enough to give birth. Dig out the seed already taking route in your mind. You do not deserve protection for your own recklessness."
What if we're all just sleeping satellites Why do we drift so far from home
Hotaru sighs, golden head bowing, chastised and silent. She doesn’t answer immediately, absorbing the words as they fairly deserved to be measured. It is selfish, and she knows it. Safrin hadn’t given them a deadline, and the weight of the war is perhaps making her hasty. Desperate. She’s not used to feeling this way.
Gentle fingertips reach for the flower petals, apologetic. “You’re right,” she whispers, certain it will hear her. “I am so eager to make things right…it’s blinding me. I’m sorry.” Her patience had once been her greatest strength. Lying in wait in the grass, content to watch her dominos fall at perfectly timed moments. With all that has happened in less than a season, Hotaru can admit it has damaged her long term sight. “I just wanted them to be safer than what my own body could give.” But if that means wrapping herself in bubble wrap, maybe that is to be her answer.
Why do we wake ourselves from paradise Where we will never be alone
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
"Your body has kept children safe before and it will again, so long as your mind and heart do not continue along this perilous path. Live for your unborn child now. Live for yourself later."
Such is the flower's wisdom. With that, the petals shiver and fall as ice streaks up the steam, and the flower dies.
