From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
With the notion of bone needles settled for another time in the future, they could maneuver the sled downhill. It coasted along by strength and accord, slipping over notches and nodules of ice, and eventually they reached the bottom without losing any of their cargo. Zuriel marched dutifully, elegantly with all her graceful poise, and Belial took to rolling in a vicious descent, bleating happily along the way (perhaps trying to coax the cub into playing with him; though the peryton was quite full of rampant mischief, where the pup appeared tired from the trek).
From there, they could continue, and the Sword pulled the vessel along the flattened terrain once more, as they moved towards the beds of ice, the careening, chilling waters beside sure, certain steps and strides. He hadn’t anticipated Sah’s sigh, quirking a brow upward over a residual stoicism, tilting his head to indicate he was listening. That Frey hadn’t shown wasn’t necessarily surprising – it had taken Deimos many times over to get any sort of response other than cackling or silence. Conversations with a sentient candle were new though. “Did the candle have anything worthwhile to say?” His tones were serious, but the crook of his smile wasn’t; intrigued but amused. It could’ve been far worse.
Despite being tired, Lilly did in fact perk up at seeing Belial tumble down the slope. With a small yip, she leapt and rolled down after, bringing a snort of laughter to her bonded. It seemed the pup cared more for fun then being exhausted. Sah would likely end up having to carry her home later.
When asked about his experience at the shrine Sah chuckled slightly. "Not really? It confirmed that war was coming. But it mostly seemed to just be a curious spirit. It wanted to know about me." He paused. "About what I was, who I am now. I think it was fascinated about the whole beast turned human thing." Sah gave a small chuckle as they walked. "It was weird, but also a little flattering? I went in there fully expecting to be cursed or ignored. And instead I got a curious flame asking me about my life."
The peryton bleated with absolute glee, and Deimos managed to stifle the sigh warring through his chest, as the youth blasted off across the tundra. He appeared to be invoking some kind of chase, because then he’d peel around, intending to snip lightly at the cub, and then bound off once more. Wings spread, he’d hasten within the snow in a whirlwind of energy, while the Sword shook his head, and they could continue onward.
But he listened too, to Sah’s tones as he described the candle, the spirit, laden within and all its measures. “It seems the spirits can be just as fickle as the heralds,” and here he managed a light laugh, gaze flicking up to the sky, and back down again on the tundra lines. “Some are receptive, some are quick to anger.” He imagined some were prone to violence too, or gentle, benign, inquisitive, pondering about humans as much as humans pondered about them. “At least it was a positive experience.” And Sah had heard the confirmation of what brewed along the horizon. Now – what to do with all of it?
Lilly eagerly chased her new playmate, yipping excitedly. The pup kept nearly tripping in the deep snow but her tail never stopped wagging as she went after Belial. Hopefully the two of them would wear each other out soon enough. Lilly, tired as she was, continued to send excitement and joy through the bond to Sah. It made the Abandoned chuckle, a warm feeling in his chest.
Sah gave a laugh at Deimos' commentary. "Seems so." Still grinning he eyed the tundra ahead of them. "I'm glad it was positive too. Though I do wish that I could have gotten the answers that I sought." His brow furrowed, eyes contemplating something unseen. "I hate it but I..." Sah glanced at Deimos nervously. "I made a promise to hear both sides of it."
He swallowed harshly, eyes meeting the Sword's as he clarified what he was getting at. "I promised to visit both shrines that is. And even though Nature Frey didn't answer me. I still.. I still have to go visit the Voice." The Outlander's voice was quiet, genuinely scared of the other's reaction, of the potential violence. "I know that the Voice is the enemy, don't misunderstand me. But I can't go back on my word." Lilly froze, eyes looking between her bonded and the Sword, the pup feeling her bonded's fear. His anxiety and terror of being rejected. Of being chased out of Halo even.
Belial was enthralled at being chased, and merely used his hooves, rather than taking to the air. He rampaged forward and back, permitting Lilly to “tag” him, before racing off or around, composed in his elements. Deimos hoped the peryton would simply drop, exhausted, and then he could place him in the sled.
Strides continued to sweep out amidst the tundra, walls of breath pluming and coiling into the air, and the Sword had no expectation of what Sah was about to say. Normally he was capable of scrutinizing, of reading an area, of honing in on troublesome spots in clear calculations made from battlefield schisms. Not this though.
He blinked a few times, eyes widening and rounding in surprise, rewinding the notions back over in his mind. Perhaps he hadn’t heard right. But as his head swung to meet Sah’s gaze, with his brow arched and features narrowed, he could see the apprehension on the younger man’s face. “Both sides,” he started, jaw clicking shut, a massive breath taken. Deimos had told him all of the effects he knew about – and he still wanted to go prance his way to the new goddess. “I cannot fathom why you would want to listen to her.” After everything: diseases, deaths, and monsters. “And what do you want to hear?” His words were carefully poised behind his teeth, low rumbles in his chest, giving no outward sign of emotions rather than disappointment and contemplation.
Sah visibly flinched from the disappointment in Deimos' eyes. Lilly was instantly freezing at the rush of emotions from her bonded. Giving a small whine she tripped over her feet until she was pressing into his leg. She eyed Deimos warily. Sah sighed heavily but didn't waver from meeting Deimos' eyes, or move to pet Lilly. When he spoke, his words were quiet, pained. "I've been here less then a year Deimos. I've only heard one side of what's about to be a major war. A war that I'll likely have to fight in. I can't just close my eyes and hope for the best." Sah raked a frustrated hand through his hair before continuing .
"I just want her side of it, the history from her view. No one has given me that yet, not even the Ascended, and so I have to seek it out myself." Sah grimaced. "I'm fully expecting to walk out being reminded of the horrors she's committed. But at least I'll be able to fully commit to fighting against her without having any subconscious hesitation." Sah's voice hardened, his eyes boring into the Sword's. "Hesitation kills on the battlefield Deimos. Surely you know that? This is me eliminating mine before the war starts."
Why did the Sword give out advice, if no one listened to it? If no one bothered to adhere to it? He’d given the Abandoned plenty of explanations as to why the Voice was no one to admire or seek advice from, and yet here he stood, yearning to hear both sides. In another time, in another place, it could’ve been bent as admirable, understandable, and brave. But right now, on the bridges and brinks of war, when the horizon threatened its mettle, it seemed very stupid, foolish, and naïve. He shook his head, continued pulling the sled, eyes straight ahead, glancing only at the snow. “You could ask any Natural.” Stories of before the barrier, written in tomes somewhere; from elders who passed their knowledge on down the line, from the history of those who’d once lived and breathed it. The warrior’s tones were flattened, indicating nothing but a feigned stoicism, while he fought down the frustration, the vexation, angling its way through his mind. “Rather than walking straight into the lion’s den.”
A goddess who didn’t care that her monsters murdered, maimed, tortured, and tormented her very own; LongNight had ample cases of the same injustice. A goddess who placed plagued upon people. A goddess who made her loyalists into machines, dependent on her, so their survivals intertwined.
His cranium only whipped around at the notion of some pending lecture on the battlefield, his brows furrowing as Sah stepped on some dangerous lines. Deimos didn’t require any reprimands on what open fields of destruction were like; it lived and breathed in the echoes of his veins, his pulse, his bones. “I do not understand your hesitation, nor will many others, because we have lived through it.” Thereafter, he raised his cranium again to the wind, wondering when this was all going to blow apart, strides elongating in his irritation. “Do you want to suffer firsthand as well?” She could curse him. She could maim him. She could destroy him too.
Sah ran a frustrated hand through his hair again. "I have. I've talked to numerous people. And I've only heard one side. I'm thoroughly biased towards siding with the old gods." He shook his head. "I know that the Voice is a manipulative and has committed heinous crimes towards just about everyone. Even her own people." Sah grit his teeth. "And yet, there's still no way to stop her without killing all of the Ascended. And so I'm going. To hear her side and get as much information as I can. I know you can't understand my reasonings, you're in the center of it all. I'm still an outsider. I've never interacted with any of the gods, only their people. I just..."
Sah's pace slowed, letting Deimos get ahead. He spoke, his voice growing quiet, heavy with heartbreak. But still audible. "I don't want to watch another world end. I can't. And if me not knowing the full story prevents me from making the right choices, I wouldn't be able to take it. I have to learn all that I can about the situation to protect the few people in Caido that I have." Sah eyed Deimos, the pain and grief he often suppressed clear in his eyes.
"I'm not asking for your permission. Or your understanding. I'm telling you what I plan to do out of respect for all you've done for me. I know you don't approve, I knew that you wouldn't. I just.. I wanted you to hear it from me and not from someone else down the line." Lilly gave a small whine, leaning into his leg, her tail tucked at the overwhelming emotions coming from her bonded.
Then shouldn’t that have told Sah something? That enough people also couldn’t defend her actions? His eyes went to the ground, and a long, low sigh filtered from his chest, pluming in the scattering of wind and snow. Deimos once had an outsider’s perspective too – utterly indifferent, apathetic, but then lands were torn apart and people were mauled, and his loved ones fought hard to survive. Even he’d been cast down, in all his strength and might, within the last sicknesses’ brutality. And that did not seem to matter here.
Sah was determined, and the Sword had said all he could.
Maybe it was a learning curve, and they’d all been shoved into it so quickly, so swiftly, that the others couldn’t quite fathom the stretch of merciless, ruthless condemnation. Maybe it was foolishness. Maybe it was a rite to foil his ignorance away, but at too much of a cost.
He didn’t roll his eyes. He didn’t march away. He continued to pull the sled along, carcasses barely moved from the smooth conditions, and striving to keep himself from not rumbling, hissing, finagling those frustrations out into the open air. Neutral and calm, composed and reticent, ever a tucked-away blade, his piercing gaze finally went back to Sah – saw the pain, the agony, and wondered why this always seemed to happen. “You are your own person. You do not need my permission.” Mentor and friend he might’ve been, but Deimos couldn’t make Sah’s decisions for him. “I am just trying to warn you as best I can. I have seen too many people hurt and killed because of her actions.” A pause, scanning over Sah’s posture and form again, before moving on. “I hope your choice is worth it.”
Sah gave a long sigh. "I know you are. And I hope it's worth it too." He swallowed harshly, composing himself before continuing to follow the Sword. The Outlander could practically feel the other man's disappointment in him. And although it hurt, it didn't sway him from his plans. Sah didn't want to go, truly. But after less then a year, declaring a god evil and fully turning on them without knowing their story seemed ignorant. And yet he knew full well his desire to hear both sides was naïve. It was a contradiction in his own mind that he'd struggled with for weeks now.
Eyeing the man in front of him, Sah bit his lip."Thanks for not blatantly hating me for this." He half mumbled, unsure of himself. Deimos didn't hate him, right? He'd have killed Sah if he did. Maybe?
Any other time Sah might’ve been commended for his valor and intrepid nature; now it just seemed as though he’d be walking into snares and manipulation, cloaks and daggers, all poised and lined up, ready to strike. All that seemed needed now was a spark, a match, incitements on either end or side before the rest took up arms – no matter the cause, the case. They lived in a time where neither Wraith nor Hailstorm had been put up on trial for their crimes, but those like Ru and himself were being measured for burning empty buildings. Cause and effect; bitter and rancorous edges were no longer fraying, straying ends, but fringes of something to come. They embodied consequences and repercussions, and after settling into his, Deimos couldn’t see what good Sah’s march towards the Voice was going to bring. Knowledge and information were fine – but they already had all they needed, all they required.
He had nothing to say on the first statement – continuing to listen to the scrape of the sled as it slid through ice and rime, to the modest movements of Belial as the game had long since lost its oeuvre, to Zuriel’s vivid silence, that might have said more than his own. It was the second one that drew at him though, like a knife stuck between ribs, and his eyes narrowed, staring out across the tundra, as they rose over a knoll, as the Citadel began to make its first appearance.
Did the world see him like that? As a beast who labored in his contempt, who rallied in his wrath, where one stupefying move enacted his abhorrence? The Sword nearly paused in his steps, nearly turned his head over his shoulder, so the piercing eyes would land on Sah, and the Abandoned would be able to see how anguishing such a statement could be. There were times, there were moments, where Deimos could be exactly that. This wasn’t one of them.
So he didn’t shift – refused, clenching his jaw, and wandering further ahead. “You have not earned my loathing.” That had been reserved keenly for those like Sunjata, like Wessex, who hurt and bludgeoned and held little care for all the damage they’d done, for the Voice, who consistently maimed and mauled. Quietly, into the wind, he justified the slow, lingering breath cast off into the clouds and into the snow, distorted by it all. “It is tiring, to lose people all the time.”
Sah may not have seen the Sword's face, the shift not occurring. But he did notice the slight, subtle change in body language. And he had the inkling that something had been lost in translation. Sah hadn't expected violence or hatred from Deimos. It had been his own insecurity in a time of war, knowing that with tensions high things were different that drove his statement. The insecurity brought upon the knowledge sometimes hesitation towards hatred and loathing of an enemy could be seen as siding with them. And with Deimos' history, Sah had been mildly worried that the Abandoned's plan would be seen as such. And so, feeling that this sentiment hadn't been interpreted correctly, he opened his mouth to elaborate, only to be struck silent.
The pain of losing someone, brought into the fold. What had Sah fumbling was the implication. Deimos cared for him? It dawned on Sah that of course he did. Deimos cared too much for his own good, just as Sah did. Constantly offering aid, advice, and training, all to help a practical stranger. It was generosity and self-sacrifice pure and simple. And Sah felt a stab of guilt go through him, realizing just how his statement might have been interpreted. Not sure how to fix this, to soothe what had to have been painful to hear, he had to try. Eyeing the Sword, Sah could only come up with one thing. "You're an amazing person, you know that?" He asked quietly, hoping.
Deimos thought at first he might be hearing things; so he shifted his head, turned slightly over his shoulder – clearly perplexed, bewilderment written in his features: by the arch of his brow, by the widening of his eyes, by the snort threatening to ensue. By all the manners in which he’d lived his multiple lives, and very few ever told him he was an amazing person. The beast had earned other platitudes and monikers, most negative, inflammatory, but likely true. Nefarious, sinister, vengeful, when necessary – abhorrent and belligerent, cunning and violent, capable of menace, of might, of destruction. Flawed and incapable of getting out of his own head at times, yearning to discern others when he could barely do so for himself. So a quiet muffling of something warred and waged through his chest.
“Thank you,” he concluded, shaking his skull, listening to the wind billow around them, to the inevitable ceasing of the sled, because he was suddenly very lost in the haze. “But I can assure you, I am not.” A light laugh, self-deprecating and all, for he had plenty of enemies to prove it. Too many motives. Too many calculations. Too many errors in judgement. Too many fault-lines. And he’d tried, strived to overcome them, but continued to consistently maul his own work.
The Abandoned felt his lips twitch at the sudden show of shock. He hadn't expected that the Sword would be so caught off guard with that. It was certainly amusing to see the usually stoic man so thrown. But it did make Sah relax slightly. It seemed that he successfully fixed their miscommunication. Or at least, made up for it. But Deimos' self -deprecating laugh and quick denial grated on his nerves. Scowling Sah marched forward, eyes on Deimos'. "You are. But we can agree to disagree." He stated, a teasing smirk appearing.
Sah kept walking till he was slightly ahead before glancing back. "Come on. I don't know about you but I'm ready for dinner." At the idea of food Lilly perked up as well, catching her second wind and racing ahead.
