I just wanted you to know...

Seren

With no small amount of trepidation, Seren passed the lighthouse and began to make her way towards the houses nestling in the vale below. The path beneath her feet was well-trodden and she knew it by heart, so well she could have walked it blindfolded. But already from a distance she realized that this was no homecoming for her. The scenery was not the same as she remembered. Of the two houses and the sunken in ruins only one remained as she recalled; left empty now, for all she knew. Void of life, after her family's departure.

And the other house... Gone was the wisteria and the aged porch where she had played with Haai in the afternoons. The building as a whole was no longer, and the house built to replace it was new, different in every way that counted - the locasion, the look, the altered trails and paths - and she was no longer sure of her welcome on the threshold.

Seren swallowed her misgivings and stepped up to the entrance all the same. Her knock sounded much too loud, and she wondered if anyone would be home. It was not that late - would Kamaria be in there, somewhere? Sunjata? Nate?

Prickling fingers and an itch between the shoulderblades had her wishing no one would answer the door.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

There is hardly a day goes by that Nate doesn’t think about putting a sign on the door. ‘Fuck off.’ That’s it, that’s all he wants. It’s not a good look for the Governor’s offices, and he knows that, it’s the only thing that stops him.

Though, when the unexpected sound of a knock rings through the house, Nate considers it all over again, the urge harder to ignore every time.

He walks to the door, taking a moment to school his lips into a fierce smile, his eye burning with suspicion as he rips it open. Blinks at the stranger before him. Familiar, in the way a face he’s passed in town is, in that itchy way that does nothing to ease him.

Sniffing, Nate steps out onto the front step, closing the door behind him as he goes. “What?”

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

The sound of approaching footsteps from beyond set her heart racing. Palms that had been feeling cold turned clammy in an instant, but Seren hid them away behind her back and put on her best smile as the door flung open. It wobbled a touch, mouth faltering at the blank, wary expression on his face.

It was a far cry from the cautiously cheerful man she remembered.

"Hello Nate. It's me, Seren. I... suppose you wouldn't recognize me right away." Laughing, quick and breathless, she pushed on. Rattling on, like she always had - to get the words out before they escaped her, before she forgot why she had come. "I'm glad to see you, and that you are home, because there are some things I wanted to talk to you about. Is... is this a... good time?"

Faltering under his stare, Seren's voice trailed off.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

Seren. His gaze moves over her again, his jaw trembling as he does, until the one blue eye snaps up to lock on hers again, his teeth clicking with how hard he clenches them together. He swallows, let’s the smile fade away from his face, replaced by furrowed brows and a frown.

“Its as good a time as any.” He offers after a moment, shuffling his feet and leaning back against the door, his tongue wetting his lips. “What do you need?” It almost looks like it costs him something to ask, his gaze flicking to look over the girls shoulder while he does. Whatever he sees, or doesn’t see, calms him for a breath, his shoulders dropping just a little.

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

Something heavy was taking shape in the depths of her gut. A realization of potentials lost, perhaps, or merely that lunch bread she had munched on during the trek here. The lack of a welcome and the fading smile - no matter how fake, it had been there - brougth Melita's cautions back to mind.

"I - well, it's... Do you remember, when I wanted to learn how to mend people? And you said you would teach me?" A lock of hair gone astray tickled on her cheek, but she didn't dare move her hands to brush it away. They trembled too much - though why she couldn't say. Seren tried a smile of her own, but they kept wanting to melt into nothingness. "I wanted to ask, if you would still... be interested in doing that?"

She bit her lip. Considering, whether to add more. But there was no point in stepping around it; "I also... wondered if it would be alright, if I came to visit Kamaria some day? I've... been meaning to ask for a while, but I was told Sunjata would bring her to Stormbreak for a visit. Except it hasn't happened, and..."

With the state of Torchline as it was right now, she didn't see the Governor taking a vacation anytime soon. Biting her tongue to keep from rambling, the young woman gazed up at Nate. She had never realized before how tall he was. Even when he leaned back like that, she had to look up to meet his gaze.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

“I do. I do remember that.” Nate stares at her face, at the shifting, awkward twitch of her mouth, and doesn’t blink. He doesn’t move, doesn’t blink even, not until she asks if he’d still be interested in teaching her, and he has to bite his lip suddenly, looking off to the side. “Not sure that’s a great idea.” The words come out in a dark mutter, Nate’s eye flicking upwards before landing on Seren’s face again.

Something sits heavy on his tongue, something that he tries to swallow down more than once. “The uh... if you want, if you’re really interested, there’ll be uh, classes, once I get my guild fixed up.” Another fit of hesitation seizes him, shorter this time. “I can make sure you know when.” He works his lips into a tight lipped smile, the pinched expression lasting only a moment.

Nate expects the next line of questioning about as much as he had expected the first one, which is to say not at all. Admittedly, he reacts far worse to this one, shaking as he fights the urge to rise to his full height, to snap ’No.’ “Not my decision to make.” He just about manages instead, his jaw clenched. “No ones going to Stormbreak anytime soon though. Sorry.”

A hand lifts to push through Nate’s hair, his gaze once again leaving Serens face to look around them, his shoulders shifting against the door. “Hey, listen... did you tell anyone you were comin’ round here?”

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

Something was going on with Nate, but what it might be and why was utterly beyond her. Seren found herself torn between hope and disappointment as his response pressed forth. It seemed to take a lot of effort, and her gaze was slowly filling with soft, kind concern.
"I... I see. Well, you have to do what makes you the most comfortable, of course." The girl carefully swallowed her disappointment, so that it didn't show on her face. But it was there all the same, in her tone and the downcast eyes. "I would like to attend a lecture though, if I can. So... yeah, if you could let me know I would be grateful."

Even with a lump of lead weighing at the core, Seren was able to smile at Nate. 'No Stormbreak' and 'not his decision' was better than a door slammed in her face, and it gave her hope.
"Tell anyone? No, I... it was a bit of an impulse," she admitted, slightly sheepish. "Well, Melita knew I meant to come talk to you, but not that I would do it right now." Her dragon had been sent fishing, just to make sure there were no distractions. A grumpy companion would not make anything better in this moment.

"Why do you ask?" Seren looked a little puzzled.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

Nate recognizes the light dappling through Seren’s eyes, and feels a swell of hatred for it that threatens to choke him. There is nothing useful there. His lip curls as he speaks, though his voice manages to be nothing but polite, if a bit clipped. “It’s just not practical to be alone with anyone right now.” Relief swells as her gaze drops, Nate’s next words a touch easier. “I’ll make sure someone sends a letter then.”

Paranoia drives his next words, but before it can be addressed Seren offers something surprising. “Melita’s back?” Nate interrupts, his voice a soft, wounded thing as it ghosts over his nieces name. He’d known, Jack was back, obviously, but... she hadn’t come home.

At least part of his worries can be laid to rest. “I ask because time I spoke to your father and mother, they threatened to kill me.” Nate doesn’t mince his words here, doesn’t hide the anger that bubbles from his chest. “I’d rather they don’t have a reason to come seek me out.”

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

Not... practical? Seren did not understand, confusion apparent on her face, but she accepted the sentiment all the same. A note, then, for a public lecture sometime in the future - it was not what she wanted, but more than Melita had seemed to expect.

Speaking of the red-headed girl, Nate's response to her name was painful to see. Biting her lip, the starchild nodded, not sure how much to say.
"Yes, I saw her on the coast just the other day. She seemed... reluctant to return home." Even though her tone was as neutral as Seren could make it, being the messenger of that particular news was not fun.

But Nate pressed on, emotions boiling to the fore, and Seren took an involuntary step back at the anger, at the implications of what he said.
"Wha... why would they do that?" Bewildered disbelief twisted her features. Kill him? Her kind parents had..? Why indeed. Seren couldn't imagine either would do something like that unprovoked.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

He’d been waiting on a big dinner. He’d gone out specially to find Mel’s favourites, and he’d watched them creep closer and closer to turning until he’d had no choice to use them. And then he’d done it again. Nate doesn’t want to understand, doesn’t want to accept the words Seren says. “I see.” He offers, licking his lips. “If you see her again tell her she should come home.”

Nate’s lip curls as he watches Seren step back, his chin lifting just a little bit. “Because they hate me, obviously.” Nate rolled his eyes, settled into an safe, sneering place. It’s familiar. His arms cross in front of his chest as he straightens, shoulders pressed flat against the wood of the door. “Safrin’s threatened to kill me for nothing.” Ronin at least had a reason he could understand, one that was better than the sin of his existence.

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

Seren was fairly sure she would not pass on the message, even if she did meet Melita again soon. Or maybe she would. It was not her place to meddle, but she nodded all the same. Wondering if she had just told her first lie. "I can try," she amended, but the words still tasted wrong.

The sneer twisted Nates handsome face into something vicious, wicked and ugly. It frightened her far more than Melita's warnings - it might not be safe for you - or even the terrible things he spat at her, like it was her parents he stared at instead of her.

"I, no that's not... not for nothing," Seren tried, in her mother's defense. "It's not you Nate, it's because of the Voice. What she did..." and might still do. But she never managed to say that.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

Nate is being sloppy, in all the ways he would normally be able to reign back. Circumstances, stained in ash and lonely caves and loss repeated again and again wearing him down in a way that’s unlike the pins and needles panic of his childhood. He’s always known better than to get like this, and yet he can’t stop himself.

“Whether it’s directed at the Voice or me, and I guarantee it’s both, I am still the one bearing the brunt of her hatred.” Nate interrupts Seren, shoving his words between clenched teeth if only so he doesn’t snap at her. “What did the Voice even do that was so bad, huh? She kill people? She dared to change? Is that it?” Straightening, Nate presses his back more firmly against the door, nostrils flaring when he does. “Or is it just because she dared to look up at the Gods lording over all of us and say fuck you?”

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost

Seren

Seren hated fights like this, where words became barbed wire and slowly tied nooses for both to hang themselves with. That Nate lashed out like this against her was painful. That he couldn't separate her from her parents was hurtful. But the things he said? That was just plain inaccurate.

"She has killed people, Nate, and you know it. The Mathair, the Blight, those are nothing compared to the atrocities committed by her creations every Longnight for three hundred years." He knew this. Had to know this already - hadn't he told her before that he came from the Grounds? Seren could not believe that he was saying these things, and the disbelief was plain on her face.

"Even ignoring that the consequences of her actions condemn not only one race of man but two... Those centuries of neglect and inaction alone are unforgiveable!"

Even a child like her who had never set foot in the Hollowed Ground knew about the terrors and losses of the darkest nights of the year. That Nate chose to blind himself to the root cause of all those deaths - families slain, torn apart, not to mention constant terror and despair; Seren shook her head at him and took another step back, away from him.

If only she could be angry too. But her words came out much too calmly, heavy and full of sadness. It was clear now that the man she had known was not there anymore. When had Nate become this bitter, twisted thing?

"I get that you've made your choices in the past, but don't you dare play the innocence card with me. If you are going to side with the Voice, at least have the guts to look properly at what that means."

Had he really expected to pick sides without ever having to face the concequences of that choice? "I could have respected your stance if it seemed like you were making a conscious and informed choice. But this...? You are just refusing to accept reality." It made him seem more naive in Seren's eyes than she had ever been.

I'm ready to start the conquest of spaces
Reaching the starlight and silver fields

NATE

“I never said she hadn’t, Seren.” There is a catch in Nate’s voice, a shudder he can’t bite back, no matter how hard he presses away from her. “But the Voice has done no worse than any other God. She has been... more understanding, and gentler than I have ever seen Safrin be. She cares about us, all of us, without conditions.” Longnight sparks another snap of something vicious, quiet rage entering Nate’s voice.“We got rid of the monsters! We didn’t have to, but they’re gone now!” It had been hell, the start of a definite downward spike in his life, but it was done.

“The only ones condemning anyone are your gods!” An accusatory finger points towards Seren, the ascended all but trembling with the effort of not pushing further. Not stepping over that line. He will not be spoken down to by a child. “They are the ones that raised the bubble! They are the ones that abandoned a city full of people!”

It’s the pity in her voice that douses Nate at last, a hand lifting rub at his mouth, then his eyes. All his anger hardens, his hands clenching at his side and his voice steady, fast when he speaks. “You’re the one not seeing the whole picture. You want the Voice destroyed. You want every ascended destroyed. A whole race.” He snaps in her face. “Gone. You understand that, don’t you?”

Nate sucks in a trembling breath, fuel for his next words. “What about after? What about when we’re all killed? Are abandoned next?”

i settle for a ghost i never knew,
super paradise i held onto, but i settle for a ghost