[SE] but I cannot fool my heart

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

As Kamaria disappeared off somewhere with Nate in tow, Seren turned towards her uncle. Rosy cheeked and with her blue eyes alight with the joy of finally seeing her sister, she impulsively surged in to hug him tightly.

"Thank you, so much for bringing her. I could not be happier," she murmured. How she managed to contain all the surging emotions within herself and not simply weep from joy was more than Seren understood. Nevertheless, the sentiments spilled over in the vibrancy of her smile as she pulled back.

"And what games would you like to play?" she laughed, meaning to grab his hand and drag Sunjata off somewhere. "Whoever arranged this party did a wonderful jop of it. Oh! How about that?" She pointed to a stall, where colorful bean-bags were offered and prizes provided for whomever could hit the targets. Child's play, really, but too fun to pass up.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

“It’s her first party.” He replies easily, watching as Kamaria departs with Nate before his gaze is lifting to meet Seren’s gaze when she’s suddenly wrapping him into a tight hug. He tended immediately, before he softens, giving her a gentle hug in return — incredibly surprised at how trusting Seren was in remaining close to him. But she hadn’t gathered his ire yet, hasn’t yelled at him yet.

Instead, she suggests a game and his brows raise and he has to blink a few times before realization strikes. “Oh, uh, I wasn’t planning on it.” The last thing he’d thought about was playing a game when he felt like this. “But… Whatever you want to pick is fine.” He admits, voice still hoarse but slowly getting better the gentler he is with it. She grabs his hand and tugs him off toward the booths and Sunjata goes with her, scouting over the heads of others as he goes to make sure that Nate and Kamaria are still somewhere in sight.

The sandbag game, though, grasps his attention and he offers Seren a small smile, his head nodding as he follows her there. “Sure.” Perhaps he might be able to ask her a question or two regarding the night of the fire while they did it. “You can go first.” He decides, last minute, trying to pick his words as he hands her the stack of beanbags.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

Pleased that he would change those plans at her request, Seren happily picked out a blue bag and squinted at the targets. They varied in sizes, where the smallest ones awarded the better prizes. The distance wasn't very daunting, though as she weighed the bean-bag in her hand she supposed it was tricky enough to throw these without having to add force into the account.

"It's my... second party," she relected, and lobbed her beanie at a middle-sized target. Three shots she had available, but the first one went astray, and hit the canvas tent on the backside of the stall. "Oops. Remember that night with the election, when Remi became Governor? I think that would count as a party." At least by Torchline standards.

A second bag was lobbed at the same target. This time it hit, and the girl whooped as the man behind the counter handed over a small plushy to her. She thought it was supposed to be a rabbit, though the crooked nose and overlong teeth made it look slightly menacing.

"Is your throat alright? You sound a bit hoarse." Her third bag went astray - Seren wasn't focusing - and she turned to her uncle with a rueful smile. "I hope you do better than that, because now I'm embarrassed."

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

She tries to remember how many parties she’d been to before and his gaze follows the way the beanbag is thrown – watching as it hits the tent and nowhere near the actual target. She sparks a vague memory that feels like forever ago, though, and Sunjata can’t help the slight pinch of his brows in his own wonder of whether it counted. “I remember. I was his opponent.” He murmurs softly, lips pursing a moment as he considers whether he’d call that a party.

It didn’t seem like one, but he’s also tired of telling people things and having them get upset – so he simply nods along with her, letting her believe whatever it was she wanted to believe.

She wins a plushed rabbit, though, and then it’s his turn as he considers what she says. “I’m okay. It’s healing.” He tells her, grabbing one of the beanbags, staring at the target, drawing silent for a moment as he throws it and it goes just a bit too high from the target. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, actually… About the night of the fire.” He pauses again to throw the beanbag at the target, watching it clip it and receives some sort of small plush duck. One of its feet is crooked, but he figures Kamaria would enjoy it regardless.

Perhaps even try to patch it up.

“I’m just trying to get an account on all sides of what happened that night.” He pauses, throwing the last one and hits the target again, receiving yet another plushed creature that looks somewhat like a mouse, perhaps. This one, he gives to Kamaria, before he’s turning to face her more fully.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

Watching with some small strain of competitiveness how Sunjata managed to one-up her in the throwing contest - made up entirely in her head - Seren clapped and smiled at the crooked foot of the duck.
"It gives it more character," she decided. "I could do something for your throat, if you like? Mother taught me a new trick."

She reached for a new set of bean-bags. There was no line for the stall, and the game was interesting enough to keep her occupied. Sunjata's comment made her pause with a hand posed to throw, stilling as the bright expression dimmed slightly. A cloud passing across the sun.
"I told your Arbiter everything I know," she replied, more subdued. "Aurelia. Did she not pass it on?"

It was not exactly the kind of topic she enjoyed thinking about. Especially not at a place like this, meant to be fun and relaxing.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

It does give it more character – he has to agree on that. As for her doing something for his throat? He immediately shakes his head. There’s a part of him that relishes in it, the fact that he’s got to heal it on his own. There’s a part of him that clings to that pain because at least it’s a physical reminder as opposed to the ones that strike his heart nonstop, leaving hidden wounds behind that he can’t quite patch up before they’re torn open again.

She grabs a new set of beanbags and his question stills her and Sunjata’s pulling his gaze away from Seren, working his jaw. “She did. But given that she was involved with it, I wanted to speak with her sources as well. She did tell me you two spoke.” He says softly, leaning against the edge of the stall, arms folding across his chest as his lips twist in a slight frown.

Either way, he'll listen and watch as she throws the beanbag toward the targets again.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

The girl sighed, and nodded. It was clear she was not happy to have to repeat the tale, but she did not argue his point. Taking some time to steady herself and recall everything, she threw her bags. More familiar with the weight and the odd way they flopped in the air, she managed to land all three where she aimed. Seren smiled faintly at the vendor when he offered her a choice of one of the grand prizes.

"It was my day off from the Dragoons, so I came to Torchline to train," she started, eyes focused on the items lined up at the rear of the stall. "Haulani makes for a good practice ground. While I climbed the roofs with Umbra, I saw that a building was on fire. So, I rushed over to see if I could do something to help."

Seren picked out a small jewelry box. The necklace within was of silver, and though the gems inlaid into small flowers and stars looked too perfect to be real, it was still pretty. After thanking the man with a warm smile, the girl turned to face Sunjata.

"When I arrived, I realized it was the Slagveld that burned. I saw a crowd gather outside. Maeve was there, kneeling beside a unicorn that was bleeding from a deep wound in it's throat. She was saying something to Aurelia, but I couldn't hear what. Then the unicorn got to it's feet, kicking at Aurelia. To free itself and get away. But she threw fire at it anyway, and it... he..." Up until this point, she had been able to speak clearly. But the sight of Atlas falling in a sea of flame would never not make her grieve, and the had to blink away tears of pain. "I wanted to help him. The unicorn. He was so beautiful, and so terrified. I jumped down from the roof I had been standing on, and tried to bring him into my realm. The pocket dimension I told you about?" Swiping at her eyes, Seren looked up at her uncle to make sure he remembered her ability.

"I managed to get him away, and put the fire out. But he..  he was already dead. I was too late to save his life."

Sucking in deep breaths, the girl somehow got her shoulders to stop trembling. "When I returned to the Slagveld, the fires had been put out, and Aurelia was gone. I went to check on Maeve. My hands were burned pretty badly, and she bandages them for me. She told me that the unicorn was Atlas, Hotaru's companion. She asked me to keep that to myself, because she was afraid Hotaru would be blamed for the fire. I don't know why she believed that. I disagreed... so when I met Aurelia, I told her what I knew. And now you know everything too."

A shuddering breath left her, relieved it was over. Squeezing the stuffed animal and the trinket box to her chest, Seren felt wrung out.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

Seren sighs and truthfully, Sunjata feels the same. He’s tired of talking about it, tired of the entire endeavor. But Seren relays the tale, telling him why she had been there as she throws her beanbags into receiving the top prize and Sunjata’s gaze simply dances back and forth to follow each throw (perhaps a brief glimmering of his canine shift beneath all the dragon).

But he’s silent as she retells her story, even swiping at her eyes as she speaks of Atlas and Sunjata nods to her – understanding. “It isn’t your fault, Seren.” He assures her quickly, committing what she’s told him to memory so that he might be able to compare and contrast to the rest of everything in the spiderwebbing that’s become his daily back in Torchline.

She squeezes the trinket box to her chest and the stuffed animal and Sunjata watches her for a brief moment, working his jaw before he steps forward to pull Seren into a tight hug – offering some attempt and semblance of comfort even if he feels literally anything but. “Thank you.” He means it. “And I’m sorry that it was something you had to be a part of.”

Because there’s that never ending part of him, too, that wishes he had been there instead to take the brunt of it on, to perhaps stop it from happening in the first place.

But he wasn’t.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

Shuffling her prizes around until they were easier to hold, Seren happily accepted the embrace. Leaning against her uncle with an arm slung about his back, it was easier to feel strong and capable. As always, the scent of smoke and drink that hovered about him made her nose wrinkle, but with her face pressed into his shoulder he was in no danger of finding out.

"I am too," she admitted. At the time it had been thrilling and sad and terrible, but as time went on and the tangled aftermath kept dragging on, all the glimmer of adventure was being taken out of it. "Where were you, uncle? Why weren't you in Torchline?" She didn't mean for it to come out as an accusation. But if only he had been home... "I kept looking for you, but you never came."

Squeezing her eyes tightly together, to hold tears back and steady herself, the girl remained close even when she looked up, craning her neck to meet his gaze. "Why did Maeve think Hotaru would be in trouble? I thought... well, wasn't she married to you?" Gossip had told her as much, and it was clear the rumor mill had no idea about the finer twists and turns in that relation. And Hotaru... had not been very forthcoming. Not that the girl was about to explain what she already knew from the woman's perspective.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

Luckily for Seren, the scent is far more faded now – given that his throat is too wounded to be able to indulge in drinking or smoking, which only makes this coping process that much more difficult for him. But her face is pressed against his shoulder and his arms slip around her in a tight hug, at least until her question comes out and he stiffens a fraction. “I took a trip to the Grounds to help Samuel and Wessex in finding someone.” He tells her, having nothing to hide from it. “It was only going to be a few days. I’ve done it before, so… I thought nothing would happen.”

It usually didn’t.

She only pulls away a fraction to let her tear filled gaze meet his own, dark shadowed steel, and the next question she has makes him freeze a fraction further – the stone in his stomach dropping into the abyss. “She was… She didn’t take finding out about your sister very well.” He offers her, a small frown crosses his face and tugs at the scar. “Things ended between us because of it. She stabbed me, even, but your mother healed me after.” And then Nate and Hotaru had chosen to leave.

Nate had come back. Hotaru hadn’t and Sunjata’d tried to give her the space she wanted. Which… Apparently wasn’t the result she wanted.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

A troubled frown tugging at her brows appeared when Sunjata explained.
"Why would you be helping Ascended?" Straight forward, blunt; aren't you supposed to be on Mother's side? It was hardly the most tactful question she'd ever posed, but Seren was too emotionally raw to be delicate at the moment.

"I'm sorry that happened," came a softer murmur, when he mentioned the stabbing. "I had no idea you were even... I mean, I thought you and Nate were...?" Confused, she shrugged. The complex web of Sunjata's relations went far beyond her ability to understand - or keep track of. "Is that the only time you were married?"

Withdrawing slightly, the girl wiped her face with the butt of a hand and tucked her prizes into her pocket realm. Only when it was gone did she regret putting away the stuffed animal. It had been nice to hold onto something, and Umbra had taken off, tired of being bustled by the crowd.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

Her blunt question hits him in a way that does nothing more than confuse him. Was she so detached to assume that despite whatever line he’d drawn in the sand, it didn’t mean he needed to swear them off? If that were the case, shouldn’t he have sworn off Nate long ago if that was the way Seren wanted to look at it? He chews on his cheek, his gaze finding hers. “Because some of them are my friends and they’re good people.” He pauses, not wanting to entirely get into the details of that and why he’s the way he is about it.

As for Hotaru stabbing him, he shrugs it off. But when it comes to marriages, he stiffens a fraction, sucking down a breath as she withdraws and he pulls into himself again, too. “No, uh… I was married to Phoebe for a little bit. She’s Frey’s demigod now from what I hear.” He pauses to suck on his teeth, hands finding his pockets. “Frey was the one that married us, actually.” His lip twitches with a bit of distaste toward that.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

Heat rose to her face at the quiet response. It felt like a rebuke, and Seren's eyes dropped to the ground, shame and embarrassment coiling like a serpent in her stomach.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "It's just... Won't that make it more difficult for you? When the war begins..." As she grew and became more aware of the stakes, of the lines drawn in rock rather than sand, the girl had made a conscious effort to avoid the Ascended. Especially since her clash with Nate. It seemed downright foolish, to set herself up for that kind of heartache.

Talk about marriages and past relations of his was hardly any lighter a topic, but Seren was happy to listen all the same. The name he dropped did make her blink; it was not unfamiliar. "Harper's Phoebe?" she asked, a little wide eyed. "I... really had no idea about that. And why do you look so miserable about it? Isn't a god blessing your union supposed to be a wonderful thing?" Decidedly curious now, Seren blinked up at her uncle. If her disposition had been less light, it might have been entertaining to watch him squirm under her queries. As it was, the girl merely smiled, as if expecting some wild tale of mischief. She had only heard good things about Frey in the past.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

“Of course it does.” He says as gently as he can. “But just because it’s difficult and they’re considered to be on the wrong side, doesn’t mean that they deserve to be ignored and looked down on.” His head tilts avianlike as he looks to Seren, awaiting her response over something that Sunjata’s quite familiar with. If for nothing else, but how he’d had to choose sides, how he’d chosen them away from the side he was born into.

She blinks, however, at the mention of Phoebe – the mention of Harper’s Phoebe. It doesn’t even phase him as he nods, keeping his hands in his pockets. “It wasn’t a good marriage. And while Frey was nice enough to me I suppose, the only times I’d ever spoken to them it had been about her.” Had it been because his questions had related to Phoebe the times he’d spoken with them? Sure, but that’s beside the point.

“They could’ve stopped the wedding at any time, considering how upset Phoebe was in the first place and how upset I was, but they didn’t.” He shrugs his broad shoulders, huffing a sigh and pulls his gaze away from her to look to the rest of the crowd.

SUNJATA