[SE] but I cannot fool my heart

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

The girl nodded slowly, even as she bit at the inside of her cheek. It made sense, what he said. Of course it did. "I bet they don't deserve to die either," she replied softly. "But if the Voice is defeated, they probably will. Where does that leave us? Why do we have to do cruel, unfair things? Nate, he - " She broke off, swallowed. Then kept going, because it was too late to take anything back. "Did he tell you, that I came to your house? I just wanted to ask him something, but somehow it turned into me wanting him dead because I won't go against Mother and the other gods. It's not true, Sunjata! I don't want anyone to die."

How she went from asking questions to pleading to her uncle for him to accept this one, solid truth she had left to cling to Seren did not know. Was Safrin wrong? Was the Voice wrong? Was everything in this world just wrong, without her ever realizing it? Was madness and ruin truly the only path left for all of them?

It was a question soon to be answered, but no bells had chimed yet and Seren still had the time to ask questions and doubt.

"I see," she sighed about Frey. That was a little strange. "Why do you think they did not? Stop it, I mean. Why didn't you, if you were upset too?" It was too late for tact now. But even as she asked, Seren felt herself begin to withdraw mentally from the conversation. Shrinking back, weary and not really caring about the why's.

Stars above, what a party this was turning out to be. The longer the night dragged on, the more she wished to grab some food and hide in a corner somewhere. Far away from people and their troubles.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

“They don’t.” Sunjata replies swiftly, believing it with every ounce of his being. As for the rest of it? “They will die if the Voice is destroyed. And it leaves us, the ones that have to fight in it, as murderers.” His gaze is even as he watches her. And all because of a war between gods that couldn’t figure it out themselves, all because both sides needed to use those that held their favors to be the ones to tip the war in either ones favor.

“He did tell me.” He bounces back on his heels a fraction, working his jaw, lips quirking slightly as it tugs at his scar. “Nobody wants anyone to die, but the thing is Seren, they will. Because of what the Voice and the Old Gods have done. We’re all pinned against each other.” A quiet sigh slips from his lips. “We all have lines drawn in the sand and to try and cross them will have consequences. I don’t think he wants you to completely go against your mother, but I think he just wants you to understand. There will be a losing side. The difference is that if the Voice wins, we aren’t tied to the Old Gods as the Ascended are. Look at the Abandoned, they’re unfavored by the gods but still they can thrive and live years and years without ever having to see a god or go to a shrine. Ascended? They don’t get that luxury.” They’ll die or shut down the second they can no longer get their fluid.

He clicks his tongue a moment, sighing heavily. At least the conversation shifts to Frey, something that’s easier for him. “Because it was a deal. I tried to call Phoebe’s bluff and she tried to call mine.” His lips twitch in distaste. “So we went through with it, even though if Frey had called it off then neither of us would’ve won over the other. Instead, we went through with it.” He shrugs, offering another quiet sigh.

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

The way he said murderer made the girl flinch. So brutal and callous was the word, full of a sinister intent that could not be more foreign to her. "Isn't there a way of separating them?" she all but pleaded. "To make it so that the Ascended don't have to rely on the Voice? I know they can't be turned back, but..." It seemed so cruel, on the Voice's part. To tie people so intrinsically to herself. And for what? She must have known that it would place her followers in danger. Was she so selfish? "If only there was a way to only hurt the Voice," she all but whispered. Pain twisted her features, her empathy for those left with nowhere to go but into war a near physical thing. Was this weakness? Would her mother be displeased, for not finding any hatred in her heart for any of these beings?

Seren sighed, her exhale mirroring Sunjata's. She would probably never understand the concept of 'winning' arguments. Hotaru had said the same thing - that she wouldn't let them win. What did that even mean?
"Your life is complicated. Like a messed up yarn of string," Seren told the Flood with a lopsided little smile, full of compassion. "There must be some good things though, right? Not just war and messed up weddings?"

The girl looked at him, hoping for a silver linging somewhere amidst all those dark stormclouds. There had to be one. Right?

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

The question is met with a frown, a slight slumping of Sunjata’s shoulders before he straightens out. “People have asked before, as far as I know. There isn’t a way.” That they know of yet, but if his bargain with Safrin still holds then perhaps one day there might be an answer. War is approaching far quicker than the rest of it, though. “I… Made a bargain with your mother. For Nate. To try and save him should the Voice be destroyed.” His lips twist, tugging the scar once again. “I am unsure if that still stands on her end, given we struck it before Nate became a demigod for the Voice.” It was so incredibly complicated and Sunjata was frankly tired of every corner that seemed to hide more monsters.

As for everything else, though? Anything good?

The question surprises him, the Flood finding himself watching Seren a moment with raised brows, his stormy gaze widened slightly. It takes him off guard. “Good things…?” Was there any? He clears his throat, wincing slightly against the pain. “Uh, well, Kamaria is learning a lot. I think she wants to Attune… My sister arrived as did Nate’s brother.” He sucks on his teeth in consideration. “I think that’s mostly it.”

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

Her shoulders slumped as hope was robbed from her before it could ever truly begin to spire. Aching with this hopeless spiral of darkness that seemed about to swallow them, Seren could not even begin to imagine how it must be for Sunjata. To strike such a bargain, and then come home to find that Nate had undermined everything? What had the man been thinking.

Reaching out a tentative hand, Seren tried to take Sunjata's in a light grasp. It was not much, perhaps, but she did offer what support and sympathy she could. "I hope it does," she said softly. "And if not, then I hope there might be another way. Don't stop looking, okay? This world is full of magic, and there is always a different perspective to see."

Her smile widened as Sunjata did manage to offer something. It was little, but still good; Kamaria. Family. "Isn't that enough? See, it's not all darkness. Maybe when this party is over, we could do something together? You and me and Kamaria. Go on an adventure. Have some fun." Seren felt like she needed it. And Sunjata looked like he did, too.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

It’s something he has to ask Safrin about, but given where they stand from the turn in of the Monsoon Protection, the Flood sits on unsteady land. For now, though, he doesn’t blame Nate for the choice he made. “He did it because Safrin cursed him, so… You’ll forgive me if the idea of more magical influence has me a bit wary.” After all, both he and Nate came from lands where magic was nonexistent. Where life had no other implications other than science and technology to be able to change things, rather than magical or divine intervention.

As for the good news, though, her prospective offer has him offering a small nod. “I had meant to come to Stormbreak but with the fires I think it has to wait.” He offers her a small apologetic smile. “There’s… A lot of work to be done.” A brief pause and another heavy sigh.

“But, I planned on talking with your father and maybe seeing if he’d be interested in a sparring match like we used to when I arrive. Perhaps you might be able to show Kamaria around Stormbreak?” He suggests thoughtfully, before continuing on. “And after we might be able to all get together and do something.”

SUNJATA

This is the long forgotten light at the end of the world

He simply brushed away her hopeful wellwishing, and Seren's lips tightened into a small pout. "But you can't solve this without magic, Sunjata. It's that, or to accept death. Or do you mean that there is another way to solve that kind of problem?" Beyond Safrin was only the great Gods, and if Sunjata struggled with her, then Seren had a hard time seeing how he would convince Vi. Mort... was kind, but she wasn't sure what he might offer Nate, other than death.

As for vacation plans, she smiled, easily forgiving the delays. "I would love that," she nodded. "Just let me know when you are coming, and I will be there. I've made some plans with a friend for the start of the season, but other than that I should be home. Unless something unforseen happens." Always a wise clause to add; things did have a way of changing quickly.

Seren

this heart is a cathedral. widows, ghosts, and lovers sit and sing in the dark arched marrow of me

“There are other ways.” Sunjata replies quickly – the idea of all the sciences from Korofi coming to mind. Aside from that, though, she was right. Magic or death, and even still all of that seemed difficult to swallow. As it stood now, though, he focuses on the rest of it because it’s far easier than continuing to delve face first into the realization and understanding that their life was about to get very complicated and incredibly difficult.

He was a pessimist, though. It’s the one thing he is very good at.

Vacations are easier to talk about – plans made in the future that might or might not come through. It was hard to tell with the state of everything. “I will let you know.” He murmurs to her, offering a small smile – about as much of one he can manage – before he’s gesturing to the rest of the food and the party. “Let’s get back, yeah?” Right in time for the message to be shared, of course, before everything they’ve talked about gets a bit more real.

- FIN <333

SUNJATA