From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
06-29-2021, 03:21 PM (This post was last modified: 06-29-2021, 03:22 PM by Aurelia.)
Aurelia
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
Things have progressed, or regressed, depending on if the glass is half full or half empty. Aurelia isn't sure. Maybe a better phrase is... 'shit's happened'. That's certainly one way to put it.
Between Hotaru's escape and a haunting experience at Safrin's shrine, Aurelia's been restless. Sitting still for very long has never been easy for her but, right now it's even more difficult than ever to relax. She can't.
Coming to the Halenani was less of a conscious choice and more of a reflexive urge. By the time she realizes where she is, she's standing at the edge of the footbridge she helped build and it feels far too late to turn around. She doesn't understand what's brought her here. Maybe the fact that Maeve is her friend now, or again anyway, and that's something she could desperately use. Maybe she yearns for the peaceful bliss she imagined she could have here, sequestered away from the metaphorical storm outside.
So she makes her way in through the front doors, bringing nothing but her own person. She proceeds to ask one of the nearest workers where Maeve is. She waits at a table, though she's not very good at it. A jittery feeling makes her shift every now and then, and being consciously aware of how nervous or sketchy she must appear seems to only make this worse as she tries to hide her unease. She manages to spill the vase at the table when she tries to fiddle with it, grimacing as she tries to reach out and stop it. Unsuccessful, it clatters down and water spills out onto the floor.
"Ah, shit..."
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
Things aren't going much better for Maeve either. Work has been a good enough distraction, but there is only so much drinking and fucking a girl can do. The Madame is still feeling the keen sting of a broken heart, but she's trying her best to push through. Mostly because she has no other option. There isn't time to just lay down and mope. She has a business to run. Today though? Today she's moping.
A knock on her door is the only thing that rouses her, Amelia's soft voice filtering through the wood, "Maeve? Someone named Aurelia is asking for you? Do you want me to send her away?" The Madame sighs softly, pushing up from the couch she's lounging on, discarding her now tepid tea, running her fingers through her hair to smooth it down. "No, I'll come over." She replies, opening the door with a wane smile, schooling her features into a smooth mask.
The Madame enters the main longue, spotting Aurelia just in time to see her fumble with the vase, spilling water and flowers across the smooth wooden top. Her lips twitch and she barely contains the huff of laughter that threatens to push past her lips. "Who would of thought you would still be nervous to come see me here." She teases, trailing around the woman to take a seat across from her, leaning lightly against the table. "Everything okay?" Maeve asks softly, finally looking her over, unable to miss the way she fidgets and squirms at the table.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
06-30-2021, 04:06 AM (This post was last modified: 06-30-2021, 04:07 AM by Aurelia.)
Aurelia
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
Aurelia looks up from the mess she's made to immediately see Maeve, and she can see the scoff of a laugh on the woman's lips. Her cheeks darken with an embarrassed flush and immediately she seems to deflate even further. Her hands retract into her lap, where she forces her fingers to wrap around one another and be still.
"It's not you-" she stutters suddenly and cuts off, "Not- not that... eh..." She gives up on whatever she's trying to say or do. "Sorry.. about the flowers," an apologetic, soft smile is offered up as she tries to patch together her train of thought into something coherent, something to mask the chaos going on within.
But she'd made a promise to be more honest with Maeve. So she sighs heavily, and although she stares down at the pooled water on the table, she admits bluntly, "No. I'm a fucking mess right now. Hotaru got out. Nate and Sunjata are overwhelmed with all of this and their own shit combined, and I can't do anything, Maeve."
She sobers a bit, feeling a little better {surpisingly}. Her eyes lift up to regard the Madame, looking her over in the same manner, making a genuine attempt to try and see how the other woman is faring herself. "What about you?" She asks, as if this is normal back-and-forth. Considering that it's Caido...
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
A hand raises to beckon over one of the workers, "A towel, please." The Madame requests softly to which the worker nods and disappears into the back to retrieve the requested towel. Her lips twitch and she shakes her head, dismissing the Arbiter's apology easily, not too concerned with a bit of spilled water and flowers. There is plenty more where that came from and the problem is easily solved unlike others they're facing. "I'm not concerned with the flowers. There are plenty of other things that make much more of a mess."
It's easy to see that Aurelia has something on her mind. Maeve has been so caught up in her own world that she'd missed the news of Hotaru's escape, but she's not sure it was common knowledge that she'd been held in the first place. A towel is brought to the table and Maeve quickly wipes up the water, depositing the flowers back into the righted vase, listening quietly to all that the woman before her has to say. "I've also noticed how-" a pause as she considers her words, lips pursing, "off Sunjata has been. At this point, I don't think there is much you would have been able to do anyway, love. Hotaru was being held and questioned, yes? I'm assuming you have already gotten everything you could from her and other witnesses. All that's left is for Sunjata to make a decision. That can be done whether she's in custody or not."
It's easy to focus on this and offer some form of reassurance when she'd rather think of anything than herself. Of course, Aurelia turns the question back to the Madame and she falters, that carefully placed mask splintering for only a second. "Let's head back to my apartment. We can speak more freely there." No one else knows about her current emotional state aside from Seren. If the girl had even received her letter yet. Maeve would prefer to keep this close to her chest. At least among her workers and clients.
She stands, ushering for Aurelia to follow, leading her towards a side door that exits onto the footbridge that the Arbiter helped to construct. It's a short walk over the bridge and up a few flight of stairs to reach the door of the Madame's new apartment. It's larger than the one Aurelia visited before. There is a living area, kitchen, and open dining space to make up the main room. A short halfway shoots off of this main area with three doors coming off of it. Presumably to the bedroom, bathroom, and a spare room.
The decor is similar to her previous living space, but more sparse as she's still gathering things to make up for what she's lost. Maeve moves towards the kitchen after closing the door behind them, putting on a kettle for some tea, taking a break to finally answer Aurelia's question. "Truthfully? I'm no better off than you are. Locke left." She says softly, throat already growing tight at the admission, tears threatening to sting her eyes. "At least, that's what I've heard. He's going with the Ark, but he- he ended things with me. Said that he didn't need me and told me to get out." It's the condensed version of things, but it's all she can manage.
"Other than that? I went to see Safrin again and turn in my quest... She and I talked a lot. I think she might have plans for me, but truthfully I'm unsure." The kettle starts to whistle and Maeve removes it from the heat, pouring the water into the waiting teapot and adding the tea to steep, transferring the pot to the tray and bringing it over to the coffee table. She carefully sets it down, the china clattering lightly at being jostled before taking a seat, pouring her a cup. "Cream or sugar?"
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
06-30-2021, 07:18 PM (This post was last modified: 06-30-2021, 07:23 PM by Aurelia.)
Aurelia
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
The flowers are breezed past, and Aurelia knows they really aren't important beyond a surface level meaning. But, still, she feels so out of place and out of it that, perhaps the flowers hold more of a metaphorical meaning. Perhaps it reflects how she feels; all that she contains pouring out, a mess that needs cleaning.
She chews at the inner side of her bottom lip, listening to the way Maeve tells her I don't think there is much you would have been able to do anyway, love. It hurts, hearing it, perhaps more because it's true. It's been that way ever since she could remember; no control. Any time she thought she had a semblance of it, it was just... smoke and mirrors. As for everything else? Maeve is right, that decisions can be made whether or not Hotaru is within their custody.
"Hotaru is also able to decide what she wants to do from here. And I..." she trails off, feeling the words lodge in her throat. What does it mean for the rest of them? Aurelia is painfully aware that she's one of the only ones who sees Hotaru for what she truly is, though, and she is so very tired of trying to make others see it too.
When Maeve falters and suggests they retreat to her apartment, Aurelia looks at her with a mix of confusion and concern. So something else is wrong. The breath in her chest holds tensely for a moment, before she exhales and gets up from the table. She follows Maeve closely, almost hovering, trying to guess what's wrong before she even says it. Everything else around them is given a glance, though eventually she has to appreciate the new layout of the Halenani a bit more fully. This is much more organized than it had been previously, she will admit, and this 'living area' is much more homely.
But saying 'I like what you've done with the place' feels... awkward at the moment, so she bites it back even as she steps through the threshold of Maeve's room. The familiarity she feels standing here is strange, considering that the building had been torn apart by the Monsoons and rebuilt from total scratch. Strange how it looks so similar... She thinks. It feels... comforting to be in Maeve's room again, and so Aurelia gives her a glance as she moves to the kitchen - but she doesn't follow.
Instead, she eyes the bed for a split second, and then moves pointedly away from it towards a shelf. Her hands fiddle idly with the books there, slightly curious as to the reading material Maeve enjoys. Poetry, she'd said before, hadn't she? Among other things. Aurelia searches quietly for a book that looks like it might have poems within it, pausing only to look up at Maeve when she speaks.
Even if her accented voice is soft, the room is quiet and still enough that the drop of a pin could be heard from across it. Aurelia's gaze is dark, but understanding as she regards the Madame. Her lips form a softer line, almost frowning. "He'll be safe on the Ark... and they'll be back..." she offers quietly, hoping it will be of some comfort. As long as he's not an idiot goes unsaid, which is probably for the best. "Maybe you can both work through it when he returns?" Though she is unsure of the parameters of their breakup, and she very much sounds uncertain of this herself.
At the mention of Safrin and a quest, Aurelia's brows raise gently. She turns to watch Maeve move across to the coffee table, eyes going down to the tea kettle, to watch the liquid pour into their small cups. "Oh. Both, thank you," she manages in answer. But for now, she continues to peruse Maeve's reading material - that is, as long as the Madame doesn't mind. She's not sure why. Maybe she's hoping to find something within the bindings that might calm her soul, maybe she's just... curious.
"I'm glad to hear that you were welcomed by Safrin," she says, smiling softly but genuinely at Maeve, eyes lifting to look at her, "Has it- are you glad that you've gone to one of the gods? I know before you... were hesitant." Bringing up that conversation specifically makes her chest feel tight again, thoughts returning to that day and... everything that had happened. Her gaze lowers slowly.
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
It's easy to pick up on the other woman's frustrations. Her irritation over not feeling like she's enough. Not being in control. All of those emotions painfully familiar to the Madame. Even as the Arbiter's words trail off, Maeve nods her understanding, expression softening as she reaches out to take her hand and giving it a squeeze. Maeve doesn't hold onto her long as they head for her apartment, taking a strange sort of comfort in the way the other woman trails behind her, so close she can feel her warmth at her back.
The feeling that comes over her when they enter her room is almost the same as when Aurelia came to see her the first time. How easy it was before. They moved together in a dance of push and pull, fluttering and floating around one another, taking and giving before they faltered in their steps. The dance feels as if it's started again, but they're still eyeing each other from across the room. Still trying hard to figure out how to orbit one another without colliding. These thoughts distract her as she sets the water to boil, answering Aurelia's question, desperately hoping to keep it together.
She manages for the most part. A blessing in itself. Maeve makes her tea, eyes flicking up to watch her run light fingers over the spines of the small collection of books that line her shelf, "That's one of my favorites." Maeve murmurs as she lands on a black leather bound book with silver scrolling on the side. Not that it matters, but the words slip from her anyway followed by a breath. Her eyes drop to her own cup, carefully adding in the cream and sugar, mixing it slowly with a spoon. "Perhaps... I don't even know what brought it on in the first place." She lifts the cup to her lips, hoping the tea will soothe her troubled heart the way it normally does, desperate for a bit of comfort.
They shift the conversation and this is something that Maeve can focus on more easily. Her teacup clatters softly against the plate as she sets it down, lips pursing in consideration, "I am... I was scared before. I didn't understand why they hadn't answered me previously. I thought they didn't care." She begins, shifting to make herself more comfortable, but trying to keep her eyes on the other woman if only because seeing her move about her home brought an odd sort of peace. "The first time I spoke to Safrin she seemed so remorseful that she hadn't been able to be there for me. She told me she was proud of how far I came despite that." There was something so motherly about her. It had been easy to fall into her care, longing for her approval and support, knowing that the goddess would be there for her no matter what.
"She believes in me, Aurelia. She sees so much potential in me and has so many plans. I- I think she wants to use me for something greater than this." The Madame wasn't sure, but their talk led her to believe that Safrin had other ideas for her than just this life.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
Aurelia's fingers halt as Maeve suggests the black book. With a raise of her brow, she pries it from its place on the shelf and props it open. Flitting through the pages with care, she skims but for the times when she has to pause because a line has caught her attention - or to look back up at Maeve.
"You... don't?" She questions, a little bolder, "He didn't tell you why he left?" If that's true, she feels a prick of guilt in her heart. She'd done that, too. "I'm sorry," she adds more gently. Whether she's apologizing for what she did or what Locke did, she's not too sure. Both, maybe.
She can understand the part about thinking that the gods don't care. To that, she nods slightly and frowns back down at the page she's paused on. Why would they care, about one little person, among so many? One little, unimpactful life. Only, Aurelia knows better than to feed such a naive thought. One person can make quite the difference.
Aurelia closes the book and places it right back where she had found it. Turning, she looks over at Maeve where she drinks her tea, and listens with more attentive earnest as the other woman goes on to share her side of things with the Herald of Life. She smiles softly when Maeve says that Safrin believes in her.
"There is something about her that makes you think you just might be meant for more, isn't there?" She agrees wistfully, speaking from her own experience. For a moment, she leaves it at that, lets that warm feeling bubble over. Then, a shadow flickers across her expression and her smile falters heavily into a frown. "I tried to speak with her recently... but... something else came to me in her place," her lips hover over the explanation that teeters on the tip of her tongue, "it felt nothing like that. It was dark, and it fed off of my darkness."
Fed off of it only to feed it right back to her. And she feels so very stupid now, though something... something more sinister, that darker part of her, stirs restlessly.
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
The Madame shakes her head, eyes dropping down to her lap as the conversations plays again in her head, trying hard to pick out where things went wrong. Nothing stuck out specifically. It seemed to have come from nowhere. No, not nowhere. After he asked about Sunjata. "He said that other people needed me more. He didn't need me. He didn't want me." That was the only reasoning he gave her and truthfully it left very little for her to work with. Maeve worries her bottom lip between her teeth, feeling that tell tale prickle of tears in her eyes, but she refuses to cry anymore. "You don't have to apologize, Aurelia. I think that I'm just... too much for someone to want like that."
The admission is soft, barely above a whisper as her voice threatens to break on her, threatens to give away just how precarious her current control over her emotions is. Maeve chases the feeling away with another sip of tea before turning her full attention to Aurelia, holding out a hand for her, inviting her with the motion to join her on the couch. If only because she can't stand to be without someone any longer.
"Yes, there is. I didn't understand it at first. It wasn't until I saw her again. I thought the first time was a fluke. Surely I wouldn't be so lucky twice. I was wrong... She came to me again and listened to my fears without judgement." A softness overtakes her expression, banishing the pain that seems almost constant in her eyes, heartbreak weighing heavy on her. It fades quickly as Aurelia's own expression shifts, concern growing in her belly, urging her to move towards the other woman.
Her brows draw together, breath catching in her throat at the unease the grows between them as the acknowledge what happened to Aurelia at the shrine, picking up just how badly it affected the Arbiter. "A spirit? What did it say? Did it ask something of you?" Maeve asks gently, wanting to understand why it had the other woman rattled so, needing to understand so she could provide her with the same relief and comfort that she's given her thus far.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
Aurelia's brows furrow and she wonders what kind of things Maeve has gotten herself tangled up in since she'd kept her distance. But Aurelia is silent on this front. She doesn't know enough, and she doesn't want Maeve to have to explain herself.
As for being too much? "You are... a bit intense," she laughs a little, "but that doesn't mean people like me or Locke should run away and hide from you. It says a lot more about us than it does you, Maeve, trust me..." her laugh softens into a reassuring half-smile, which softens back into a frown. "You can't blame yourself. People are going to be human... no matter what you do." They're going to make mistakes, they're not perfect, so on and so forth. She hopes Maeve will understand what she means, so she leaves it at that.
Aurelia nods in agreement. Safrin had not only listened to her, she had touched her, left a mark on her that could not be erased. And, were things lighter, she might show Maeve. But, for now, she reserves the moment for another time.
Because this is not light. Deciding to relent to Maeve's invitation, she walks over to sit beside her. The closeness draws an uncomfortable bead of sweat to Aurelia's brow, though not only because it's Maeve and things between them had not gone superbly. But also because of what she's asking. For the truth of what happened.
And I made a promise to be open and honest. She shuts her eyes for a moment, and when she opens them she thinks she's ready for it. Whatever comes after.
"I confessed that I'm afraid of what will happen, now that Hotaru is free. She will kill me, Maeve," she glances up at the Madame's face then, a troubled look in her eyes, before she looks down towards the tea on the table. "If she gets the chance, I know she will take it. She would love nothing more, I think."
Swallowing, she continues, "The spirit suggested I kill her first." She lets the weight of that linger, even if the heaviness doesn't exactly impact her like it might've once before, she knows Maeve may have a hard time taking it.
"It said that I could get help from other people, so that I wouldn't necessarily have to be the one to do it. But then it brought up her pregnancy..." Aurelia's gaze shifts, her heart rabbiting in her chest. Her gaze lowers and she's silent for a moment. "I don't want to repeat what it said, or that I... wanted to," she admits, voice barely above a whisper, emotion threatening to choke it.
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
A bit intense? Maeve arches a brow at this, head cocking to the side curiously. It's not what she's expecting. At the sound of Aurelia's laugh, one of her own bubbles up, soft and unexpected as it fills the space between them. "A bit intense, huh? What does that mean exactly?" Maeve draws her knees up, leaning against the back of the couch, letting it cradle her tired body. She balances her tea on top of her knees, occasionally taking a sip in hopes of keeping her nerves settled, focusing on Aurelia as she speaks. "Perhaps it does, but I can't help feeling like it's a me problem." Maeve shakes her head, a wane smile curling on her lips, propping her head up against her hand.
She reaches out to lay a comforting hand on Aurelia's knee when she finally joins her on the couch, offering her silent support as the woman settles across from her, expression shifting into one of concern as she waits. Whatever this is weighs heavily on the Arbiter, winding her up tightly, setting her on edge as if she's scared to actually speak. Maeve waits quietly, thumb brushing idly across her knee, meeting her gaze as her eyes finally open.
She will kill me, Maeve. The words steal her breath and she freezes, eyes widening slightly, heart clenching at the words. It hurts to even consider. It isn't that Hotaru doesn't deserve her to mourn the loss of Atlas or that Aurelia shouldn't have killed him, but to continue to seek Aurelia's death even when she plans to bring Atlas back? The thought makes her sick and she shakes her head, setting her tea down so she can move closer to the Arbiter, grasping at her hands, "We won't let that happen. I won't let that happen." Maeve stresses, feeling clammy with the idea that it might be necessary at al, her stomach churning violently.
Maeve is silent for the rest of her confession, desperately trying to find the words, desperately wanting to understand. Her mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. Instead her face drains of color and suddenly she's bolting from the couch, disappearing down the hall, the sound of a door pushing open into a wall follows. The Madame barely has a chance to kneel at the toilet before she's heaving, emptying the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl, a sheen of sweat breaking out across her brow.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
Aurelia shakes her head at Maeve's quetion, wanting to laugh because surely Maeve knows that she can't so simply answer that question. "Uhh..." she tries to search for words, to condense her point, but she falls short and instead ends up feeling embarrassed that she'd said it at all. "It's an all of us problem," she corrects, hoping Maeve will find comfort in the notion that she's not alone in her struggles. Hoping that she hasn't overstepped a boundary and caused offense.
The way Maeve reacts initially to the fact that Hotaru would kill her takes Aurelia by surprise. Here she was, thinking that it would be the fact that she has to kill Hotaru that would be hard to take. Instead, it's the opposite. When Maeve reaches for her hands, Aurelia's brows furrow and she stiffens. After a few moments, she shakes her head in confusion. She wants to ask how. How would Maeve prevent it? Instead, what comes out is: "Why do you care what happens to me?"
And Maeve seems to want to say something, she looks almost desperate with it, and Aurelia decides to let the woman speak her piece even if she truly can't solve any of her problems. No one can, not even spirits - who seem only to want to make matters worse. But as she gazes at Maeve, no sound comes out.
Suddenly, the smaller woman is drained of all color and dashing away. Aurelia jumps slightly, almost reaching after her, shock evident in her features - not that Maeve seems to have much time to look before the sound of wretching echoes down the hall. Had she really upset Maeve that much?
After a few moments of surprise, Aurelia gets her bearings and goes after the other woman. Her steps are quick but light, as though she's trying her best to fly across the floor. Stopping and leaning one hand in the dooryway, she frowns down at Maeve with concerned, dark eyes. "Maeve-" she bites back her words and kneels down beside the toilet with Maeve, sucking up her own emotions to hold back the woman's hair from her face.
When it's over, she gently lets go and reaches up to grab a towel from the nearby rack. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you like this," her tones are ridden with guilt and apology as she extends the towel for Maeve to take. "I can go, if it's- if I'm being too much."
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
Why do you care what happens to me? There is an answer for Aurelia somewhere in her mind. Words that she would absolutely say if she wasn't busy rushing to the bathroom to puke her guts up. Maeve heaves until there isn't anything left, bracing herself against the toilet, feeling flush and cold all at once. Vaguely she hears Aurelia approaching, the sound of her steps echoing down the hall, her voice calling out her name is muffled. The Arbiter seems as if she's a thousand yards away or perhaps like her head is under water. Her hair is drawn back from her face, held at the nape of her neck so it doesn't get in the way, a soft hand on her back. She spits what remaining acid that lingers in her mouth into the toilet, lifting a trembling hand to flush, drawing back in time to take the towel from Aurelia.
Maeve wipes roughly at her mouth, leaning heavily against the wall, knees drawing up as she closes her eyes against the lights. There is a moment where she thinks she might get sick again, but it passes in time for her to focus on what Aurelia is saying. "No- No it isn't you." Plenty of it was a shock. The fact that Hotaru was pregnant and that Aurelia was considering killing her herself. It was too much, truthfully. That wasn't what made her sick.
"I've been feeling off the last week, but I thought that I was just drinking too much. Indulging more than I should, not getting enough sleep, stress over Locke, but now..." She trails off, drawing in a weak breath that almost burns, but she powers through. Maeve lifts her eyes to the other woman, cheeks flushed pink and sweat on her brow, hair sticking lightly to her temples as she catches her breath. Now she isn't sure what to think. She's scared of the possibility of what this might mean. Maeve doesn't dare to let her mind wander, fear suddenly spiking through her heart, anxiety threatening to make her sick all over again.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
07-02-2021, 08:19 PM (This post was last modified: 07-02-2021, 08:20 PM by Aurelia.)
Aurelia
these nightmares all bend silver linings are all i need
She hesitates, eyes somber as they watch Maeve recover from what just occurred. Her own mind is a whirlwind of thoughts, none of them in tune with each other. Everything is a jumbled mess and she doesn't know how to sift through it to find the heart of it all, to find what she really thinks she should do.
When Maeve says it isn't her, though, her brows furrow and her lips form a tightknit frown. Maeve seems to have her own idea of what's wrong. She would probably know, so Aurelia settles into a more comfortable position to give Maeve all of her attention.
And, to be perfectly honest, she doesn't quite follow at first. In Aurelia's life, she's rarely dealt so closely with something like.. this. But, when she was younger, she watched her mother go through it not once but twice. As she leans back on her heel and starts to put together what Maeve is implying, is too afraid to say out loud, her gaze widens a fraction. "And you... get sick like this?" She asks tentatively, brows furrowing, "Even when you don't drink?"
She hates to be the one to force reality on another but... well, it feels pretty important right now. "Do you think..." Still, she can't quite say it and even she doesn't understand why. "Did you and Locke use protection?" She asks abruptly, forcing it out.
so please just hold onto me these demons, they're old to me
Both of them are too afraid to name what is actually ailing her. Maeve knows it. She knows all the signs of it. She's seen at least seven of the girls go through it themselves. She's helped Phoebe tend to them with ginger tea and cool cloths. Never did it occur to her that it could be.. that. Not until now. Her face goes pale all over again at Aurelia's line of questioning, blanching completely when she throws the final one at her, eyes widening as she has a sudden realization.
Maeve groans, dropping her head into her hands, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" She shakes her head, tears suddenly pricking at her eyes as she straightens up, feeling like she's going to be sick again. "I was on something before, but I ran out and it just... it just slipped my mind." Of all the things to happen to her, pregnancy wasn't on the list for the Madame. Especially not with everything else going on. A war approaching in two years time, Locke being gone, the Halenani needing to be run... How was she going to have a baby now? How could she?
"'Relia... What am I going to do?" She always wanted a baby. A family. Except when she pictured it in her mind, the father of her child hadn't just dumped her and disappeared off to sea, leaving her alone to deal with it herself. Maeve looks up at Aurelia, the tears in her eyes mingling with the fear that swirls in the green of her irises, uncertainty clear on her face.
Poor little girl still waiting for her happy ending
