another place to shed my skin

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

Losing the pressure in his hair is a small price to pay for the new chorus of moans and whines his shifting drags from Sunjata’s chest. All Nate can do is rumble, teeth scraping against delicate skin while he works his way lower between the attuned’s legs.  Claws tease at his skin, sharpening the corners of Nate’s grin as he moves, the smooth tease stuttering as the pressure opens thin lines of fluid on his arms.

Reality blows whatever he might have hoped for or expected out of the water, out of his mind completely. At once, there is a rush of emotion through the bond, smug satisfaction warring a surprised outpouring of adoration, and through it all a current of words that Nate couldn’t hold back if he tried. Just like that, Sunny, you’re so fucking beautiful, I love you so fucking much, just hold on to me baby, I’ve got you.

Gods, what would they ever do without the bond?

Nate can’t help the way he all but drools, pressing his tongue between Sunjata’s cheeks in a near desperate attempt to give him what he wants, to give him more. A deep moan rumbles out from Nate’s chest, one of his electric hands reappearing so he has more fingers to tease alongside his tongue, one of the staticky digits pressing into Sunjata. OS that enough, Sunny? You still want more?

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

Words and sensations slip through the bond toward him, something within Sunjata quivers with the realization, shudders as it hits and the praise is given in such a way that the Attuned can’t help but to latch onto it, can’t help to preen for his husband. So he does as told, he holds onto him, back arching with the spark that shoots up his spine. I love you too. He manages to sound breathy through the bond, voice dripping in a quiet saccharine smooth offering.

He shivers again once Nate’s moving once more, grinding against the surprising warmth of his tongue as well as the staticky hand that appears, offering some amount of relief for Sunjata even as his body aches and trembles, the tension in his body is nearly palpable as he quivers, cock twitching as he grinds more against his husband. “Fuck,” comes the audible hum of a moan, letting it pour through him with another gasp. “Please, more.” It comes out shuttered and distracted, the way Nate simply drives him mad with desire and need, all poured down the bond to accompany his plea.

But another thought occurs, absently, and Sunjata tries to focus on it enough to blossom it into a request of sorts. Another hand? He growls through the bond, one hand departing its hold Nate’s arm, to shift back into his calloused hand as if he’s gesturing to Nate what he wants. He wants to be fucked on all accounts.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

There is a script to this, in a way. Words they repeat over and over, honeyed meaning dripping from the comb every time they open the hive and dig it out. Nate says I love you with my everything, Sunjata says I love you too, Nate says I know.

I know. I know you do, you’re mine. There is none of the usual elegance in Nate’s mental voice, the smooth confidence replaced by hunger, by desperation that seems to drive his tongue and fingers deeper into Sunjata, until the edges of his teeth press against skin in his fervour to closer, to be inside, giving Sunjata whatever he wants. You love me baby, I know, you’re my heart, my sun baby, all fucking mine. Another staticky finger slips inside, alongside Nate’s tongue.

More though? Another hand? Nate rushes to oblige, pulling back where his arm has been released to wrap it around Sunjata’s cock, fingers teasing around the tip before he starts a rhythm that’s almost, but not quite in time with the fingers inside the attuned. Fucking beautiful, fucking beautiful Sunny. Nate shifts them, groaning unconsciously as he lifts on his knees a little bit, loses the pressure against his own throbbing cock. Cum for me baby, show me how good it is.

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

The elegance is gone, replaced by devouring need, and Sunjata shudders with the possessiveness of it. He can’t help the breathy rumbling moans that leave him, the way his body seems to move on its own accord as Sunjata’s half torn between focusing on the drugs coursing through his system and wrapping himself up with the sensation Nate gives him and the way he grinds his body into his husbands face with the gasping overwhelmed need and love he finds with every movement.

He asks for another hand and Nate’s all too happy to oblige him, and the second that his husband's hand is on his cock he’s shuddering, rocking his hips minutely to the sensations of everything that’s over stimulating him in such ways he thinks he might burn completely up. It’s that tipping point for him, one that sends him fracturing and spiraling over the edge, a louder series of groans and moans leaving him, mixed with Nate’s name and Korofi, something somewhat intelligible but still an attempt regardless as the peak is reached and as Sunjata rocks with it, flooding the Attuned bond with every single sensation of falling apart, with every single press and shattering as if a glass has just been dropped and broken into a million pieces.

And gods does Sunjata relish in it, craving more and more as it warms him and he gives into it.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

Gods, it really doesn’t take much, not like this. Nate leans back and rests his head agaisnt Sunjata’s thigh again, watching the way he trembles, the helpless pinch of his face as he cums. He drinks in every scrap of sensation sent his way eyes glazing over as he changes the angle of his hand on Sunjata’s cock, aiming it more directly towards his face. Licking his lips, the ascended relishes the moment, blowing every burning but of praise towards his husband until finally his hand slows, loosens to rest on Sunjata’s belly.

Reaching out, Nate drags a finger up his husbands chest, his neck, smirk growing wider as he collects a swipe of cum and brings it into his mouth, electric eyes not leaving Sunjata’s face. His tongue slips between his lips, making the gesture a show, instead of a helpless urge. “Taste so fuckin’ good, Sunny.” He rumbles, voice a hoarse growl. The hand lifts again, smearing across the attuned’s face this time, making a mess of him so there’s something for his tongue to clean up when Nate surges forward, nearly bending the other man in half to lock them in a rough kiss.

Nate sweeps his tongue against Sunjata’s lips, his mouth slipping to press against his cheeks in a vain attempt to muffle the groan that leaves him when he wraps his cum-slick hand around his own cock. It’s the closest they’re getting to lube in the state the both of them are in. Electric hands appear again, pressing firmly against the bruises there while Nate lines himself up and slowly presses into his husband. Once he’s bottomed out, he pauses, letting himself get used to the feeling,

For a single, giddy, second, Nate wishes he had more hands, a wish that creeps its way through the bond, alongside the idea of teasing everything in reach all at once. His hands ghosts up Sunjata’s body instead, pausing to cup his jaw for a tender moment before slipping to twist in the new length of his hair, Nate drawing his hips back so he can snap back in again.

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

It’s a vibrating sound, one that’s shot through the bond. A sound of relief and release, the tension smoothing before tightening again, and Sunjata shivers and shudders with it. It’s a complete mess but one Sunjata quietly relishes in as his chest heaves for breath, as his lungs ache and his throat burns in its hoarseness. His eyes open, his body relaxing as he watches Nate, a flushed hue to his skin. You are amazing. He purrs through the attuned bond, the second he continues to catch his breath.

He can’t help but to tilt his head into the touch, only smearing it more across his skin as he smirks at Nate, lips parting as soon as Nate’s pressing toward him, a hum of sound leaving him in a quiet oof at the way his body bends. But he’s too high to really focus on it, especially with the way Nate’s crashing into him and Sunjata’s arms are rising, looping around Nate’s neck as he tilts his head against where Nate leaves his kisses.

Electric hands press against the bruises to his hips and he groans with the sensation, fingers tightening in Nate’s hair, gripping on even tighter when he feels his husband’s cock, pressing deeper and deeper until he’s bottomed out. Sunjata trembles with the feeling, a growl of appreciation leaving him when Nate pauses, feeling the stretch. There’s an audible gasp that leaves him as Nate moves, a shiver that travels down his spine as he tries to grind his hips down, but the staticky hands remain keeping him quite in place. Hands thread through his hair, another shuddering groan leaving him as Nate’s hips snap back into his. Gods I love you. He sends the feeling of every overwhelming sensation Nate’s giving him back through the bond in a rebound. Come on, skatjie. Ravage me. I know it’s what you want. He hums through the bond, fingers tugging through Nate’s hair, redirecting his lips to his neck, head cocking to make room for him. I want it too.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

“I love you too.” The words growl out from between Nate’s teeth, possessive and protective all at once. A promise, that only they can hope to understand. That’s left behind as black overtakes some of the blue in the ascendeds eyes, heaving breath stuttering to a dead stop in his chest while he digests the permission he’s just been given. He’s still for just long enough to press another kiss agaisnt the attuned’s lips.

They’re still connected when Nate’s hips roll, a quick snap that repeats again and again and again. Electric hands all but drag Sunjata closer, making up some of the distance every time presses in again. The ascended scant even manage any of his pretty words, tongue too occupied with la things over his husbands skin, with providing a carpet for the rough, desperate sounds that leave him.

Ravaging, fun as it might be, is not something Nate can really maintain for long. Not with the way the bond is flooded with heat, boiling and impossible to pull away from. Not as he’s guided to the rabbit-quick pulse in Sunjata’s neck, instincts he’s had long before he’d ascended telling him to bite.

He bites, teeth sinking in hard enough to bruise around the mark of his teeth, not that Nate is thinking about that. Not that he’s thinking. Pleasure has his hands squeezing harder, promising a rainbow of bruises to discover later, and his hips growing desperate, faster and sloppy. Rushing towards a finish line that seems entirely too close now, Nate just barely remembering to pull out before he crosses it, adding to the mess painted between their bodies.

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

He’s like the prey to the predatory gleam in Nate’s gaze, only he’s all too happy to be devoured and ravaged as a shiver of anticipation sweeps up and down his spine, as his lips are captured by his husbands and all the attuned can manage is the whimper of a sound, one that when paired with the neediness of the bond, combines into something chimeric in nature. His hands wrap around Nate’s neck, legs tucking in tight around his husband, heels pressing with each and every thrust that racks through him with a shuddering growl of a sound, but they’re not quite done yet.

The bond is a pathway for Nate to devour and for Sunjata to be set aflame, and it’s already edging toward the sensation of deliriously too much that it might overwhelm Nate, but Sunjata’s already too far gone to tamper it down. Instead it’s all there, like a dripping pipe at first before it goes to flood. And when he guides the Ascended to his neck, to press the bite against his skin hard enough to bruise around not just the Ascended teeth but the blunt edges of Nate’s own, it’s like a firework going off within the Flood.

It’s a snap, a crackle, a boom as pleasure sweeps through every inch of him, leaving him both desperate for breath, desperate to cry out his rapture as Nate both becomes overwhelming and too much and yet not enough at all. It’s paired with hands that bruise and Sunjata nearly vibrates under his husband, fingers locking and tightening in raven hair to keep him there as long as he can, even if it isn’t as long as he imagines it to be as Nate’s tension snaps and their bodies are covered in a mix of pearl and opalescent hues, glimmering one the lowlight of the room, and all Sunjata can do is attempt and fail to catch his breath, before he’s dragging Nate into him, to bury his head into his husband’s neck, rolling them in a tangle onto his side, as if this simple action can combine them and make them one solid thing.

There’s a myriad of I love yous peppered through the bond, paired with a sensation far too bright to look at for too long, a sense of love so deep it’s like a wishing well with no end in sight but the simple sound of a coin bouncing on the walls as it falls deeper and deeper and deeper.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

It sounds stupid, but Nate hadn’t been expecting the intensity the room would bring when combined with the bond. He should have known. But how can he know this feeling, like his spine is trying to crawl out of his skin, like his body is rebelling, like he’s drowning without breath.

A raging inferno crackles through Nate’s body, scouring him of everything, reducing the world to a small dark thing, the beat of Sunjata’s heart in his head the single match point of brightness. There is nothing outside of them. He is nothing outside of them. Nate moves with Sunjata only because he doesn’t know how to resist it.

An echo of I love you’s drips into Nate, steady as an IV stream and seemingly bottomless. Nate is empty enough to devour all of it, to still demand more on top. Hands, natural and not, wrap around Sunjata in a tight, trembling embrace, holding them close together, promising to never let go. Nate turns his head to press against Sunjata, completing the möbius loop of their bodies.

I love you too. They are the first words Nate is capable of, the first solid feeling he is capable of. It’s all too much, to feel, to explain, to share. Lips move against the warmth of the attuned’s skin, not quite kisses, not quite words, but trying to be both. He feels too still, all at once, and choked in a heaving breath, that single motion somehow opening the floodgates for other humanities, sharp breaths and bitten back whimpers, a cool dampness pressing into Sunjata’s hair.

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

Arms and hands wrap around him tightly, and all Sunjata can do is overwhelm Nate’s senses with the never ending push and pull of love and light and the attachment to him that seems like gilded thread between the two of them that can’t be snapped, not in this moment. Nate is his beacon of light in the long dark slog of his life, the one that has made every other time he’d loved and lost worth every second of the pain and the suffering. And he clings to it, face buried in Nate’s neck and arms wrapping around, wings appearing to shroud them and cover them in darkness.

It’s quite belated when he feels the tears slip into his longer hair, Sunjata not realizing what it is at first until he loosens the grip of his hands a fraction, as his head shifts slightly to press long and slow kisses alongside his husband’s neck and jaw and shoulder and everywhere he can reach until his words come to mind.

Hey, he says softly, still quite a bit inebriated, his mental voice hoarse and throaty, deep with his accent and vibrant with impulsivity. Nate? He pauses, holding his breath without realizing it. You know I’d never hurt you, right? Intentionally, of course. But his mind is drawn to what the spirit had said, the eight seasons left for them to simply be. You’re the moon to my sun. He stumbles mentally, not even knowing if Nate is following the thread of thought, but trying nonetheless. Whatever happens, I want you to know that I won’t hurt you.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

Quiet stretches out between them, a wide dark canvas for their emotions to be painted upon, hues of golden sunset streaked with soft pinks and oranges, an undercurrent of pale, listless blue growing wider and deeper just below it. Nate is content to sit still, to doze and rest in this warm, colourful dark they’ve created for themselves, but... his mind still works too much, tearing apart the fantasy while it starts to spin up to its full capacity again.

Even when Sunjata speaks, Nate feels a thrum of panic, sent through the bond only because he doesn’t remember how to hide it, some part of him walking back through the last ten minutes, the last hour, the last day, trying to find the reason for the hey. Some quiet, affirmative hum slips out of him, enough to show that he’s listening, paying attention, even if the way his hands still fully bely his distraction.

What leaves Sunjata relaxes him and keys him up more in with the same words, all of Nate stretching thin trying to find the right response, without tipping his hand. He pulls back, enough to press their foreheads together, blue eyes boring a hole into bronzed skin for as long as Sunjata’s eyes stay closed. The attuned can’t be allowed to see the way blue swims through a sheen of pearlescent fluid, not when hes already fragile in all the wrong places. I know. He responds softly, solemnly.

I’m your moon. He continues, a holographic arm disappearing and reappearing behind them, fumbling around the bed for the little container of snapdragon. I’d do anything for you Sunny, I’m yours, all yours. There’s an edge of desperation in Nate’s voice, of frustration as fumbling fingers come up empty again and again. He’s not following Sunjata’s thread, but only because he can’t keep track of his own.

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

The panic down the bond is intimately felt by the Attuned, who in this state tries desperately to shy away from it, to sooth it, to smother it with comfort and love and everything that seems to say “don’t panic” all while simultaneously trying not to panic himself. He hadn’t expected it to hit so hard, even as their foreheads come together, even as he keeps his eyes shut because he doesn’t want to meet Nate’s blues just yet, doesn’t want to see the electricity sparking beneath eyes that swim with tears.

So instead, he focuses on the veins of red that pop up from where their skin touches, from where the electrical veins spark to life like a plasma ball, sprouting from Nate’s forehead like little bolts of lightning he can see behind his lids. He feels one arm disappear before it reappears to grab something, but he’s too wrapped up in his husband to care, to wonder what it is he’s doing.

And perhaps it’s the state Sunjata’s in, where the filters been taken off, where he doesn’t think about the words leaving his lips until its far, far too late. Because he sucks down a sharp breath, feels a flush cross with a fierce warmth across his cheeks, and he can feel his heartbeat thundering in his ears. You are. But you aren’t. He pauses, pressing his forehead back against Nate’s a bit harder, as his wings keep the darkness of their conversation hidden. Just like I can say that I’m all yours and I’d do anything for you but… We know that’s not true either-- Another pause, squeezing his eyes shut.

You’re a Voice demigod and I have Safrin’s name etched into my rib. And – And war is coming in eight seasons and I feel like we’ve barely had a chance to live our life together before we might not anymore. And I don't know what to do. The roaring of his heartbeat courses through his ears, blocking out all other sound other than the ones he can avoid, through the bond. And if Nate keeps looking, he might see the way Sunjata’s face pinches, the way his brows inch toward one another despite how hard he’s pressed against his husband, the way his frown deepens, the way his eyes remain squeezed shut as if he could shut them tight enough to not let the tears arrive to shimmer his own gaze.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA

You pump the blood so I can breathe, Don't let me go don't ever leave

I am! Nate insists, immediately contrary. There’s a hiss in his silent voice that rattles through his throat, barely there, and yet loud enough to compete with the thunder of Sunjata’s heart. When have I not chosen you? Theres a twitch, a moment where Nate nearly pulls back from the venom in his own words, before pressing back in against the attuned so hard it makes his teeth creak in protest.  

The open vein of sickly emotion thumping from Nate bleeds out slowly, replaced with an icy miasma that seems to make both of them ache as much as the other. At least, it seems that way, if the tension in the ascended’s jaw is anything to go by. There’s no easy solution, nothing he can do except continue to pull back, crushing down the parts of himself that bleed and howl and spit venom in an attempt to escape.

And then, it comes to him. Simple, easy. We can just take it out, huh? We’ve got time, eight seasons time, I can figure it out. And that should be that, right? It should be enough to drag Sunjata back to the safety of neutrality, a hope that Nate allows to swell around him in a dizzying delusion, breaking through the chill in the bond. The ascended let’s out a soft, near hysterical laugh, that missing hand returning to clutch at the attuned. It doesn’t have to be hard, Sunny, right?

NATE

in my darkness, you turned on a light

i hate the way you bring me back to life

The insistence only has him feeling like diving into himself more and more, though, knowing that when it came to the fuck ups in their relationship, it had always been Sunjata at the source. Sunjata and Safrin. But he tries so desperately to cling to Nate, even if there’s the belated feeling of pain behind how hard they press against each other, almost as if they can absorb one another and be a mix of both, to not have to deal with the war or life without the other. You always have. He says weakly, sadly.

It’s a sweet thought, though, one that even has him pausing, has his heart softening, has his breath held for a few heartbeats longer than he would otherwise, before he shifts and clutches at Nate tighter – hands and blunt nails digging into Nate’s skin, over scars and tattoos alike. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut, managing it a few moments longer as he tries to find his words. I don’t… Think it works like that, skatjie. He rumbles, despite every bit of himself wishing they could whisk away into a different plane while war ravaged the continent, only to return and be whole again.

I don’t – Don’t need you to figure it out. It’s already figured out. He manages to find it in him to pull away from the pressure between them where their faces meet, to bury his face back into Nate’s shoulder with a quiet, audible whimper of a whine. We’re fucked, aren’t we? It’s a breath of a whisper, afraid of the answer, afraid of the truth.

'cause i am haunted, i cannot tell a lie

i like you better when i am dead inside

SuNJATA