Not for His Sake

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet Phoebe had been left feeling anxious after Bastien visited her. Anxious and irritated. The irritation was easy to understand – it was Bastien. He was irritating on his mildest of days. Anxious though…because now she worried for her friends that had been part of his church. She didn’t really know about this Safrin, beyond that she had something to do with stars and that she was pretty…and also had developed a distaste for Bastien. She worried that her ire for him would bleed into her view of her friends…and they had already been given consequences for testing the deities. Well. Just Frey. And Remi more so by a long shot. Worse yet she knew Bastien wouldn’t apologize to Safrin, which wouldn’t help (realistically it could make it worse.) Someone had to do something! And apparently that someone was her. She wouldn’t be able to set her concern aside until something had been done to appease this Goddess. Besides…he was a jerk to women in particular it seemed to her…and women had to stick together right? Ethereal or otherwise. So she rose early, preparing the only gift she could think of. A large, unused candle that she carefully carved bits of wax out of, so when it was lit it would cast a look of stars in the shadows around it. Pretty. Symbolic. Useful. She felt badly that she didn’t know what else to bring her…she would remember to apologize for that too. Phoebe set out for the shrine in the Glade, a bit too anxious to go to the shrine at the temple. Twice she had seen Frey there, and did not want to tempt them since in her experience it was a favorite spot. The Glade seemed more fitting anyways. A beautiful goddess who somehow embodied stars? A natural setting seemed more likely to be her preference. Again, all conjecture. The Glade shrine was surprisingly easy to find. The young midwife set down her carved candle on the alter and knelt before it, tilting her head forward respectfully. ”Safrin, I do not know you but have heard of you, and I have come to apologize for the disrespectful actions of a man named Bastien towards you…and ask that you look kindly on those who followed him, not knowing his fickleness.” A nice way of saying royal jerk she thought. ”I know he should apologize himself…but I don’t think he will…and you deserve an apology. I hope you will accept mine, and this gift, for the errors of my fellow mortal. I am truly sorry he has treated you with such contempt.” Ugh, she wanted to shudder just at the thought of comparing herself to Bastien, but they were of the same ilk compared to a deity of course. She just hoped her apology was well received and that her friends were safe. That’s what this was about after all. Not for Bastien’s sake, but his ill-led flock.

The mortals never ceased to amaze. "I am not Frey, darling one." Safrin's voice echoed softly outwards as the candle suddenly became lit, but not by fire. Instead it was pure light that seemed to sit on the end of the wick, gently turning and dancing like a star shining through the atmospheric distortion. "I require no gifts..Nor must you kneel before me." When Phoebe raised her gaze, she would see the goddess standing before her. Bathed in an ethereal sort of radiance, despite the time of day Safrin appeared cloaked in the dusk, with points of starlight shimmering throughout her hair. "Bastien..." She mused, the word sounding gentle on her tongue, though Safrin's teeth clicked together with a not-so subtly amount of hostility. "Phoebe Steadman.." The goddess said, as if plucking the girl's name out of the sky. "I have seen you. Heard the words you said to him in the street. You could not match your fire, and yet he was the one with the apparent conviction." Her painted lips twisted sweetly. "But Bastien has picked his own path to walk, no matter what apologies you might offer on his behalf. Still, it is sweet of you to come." Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet The sudden voice startled the young midwife. She looked up, first looking at the candle, eyes momentarily entranced by the ball of like dancing on the end of the wick, then up at the goddess before her. So this was the Safrin...her eyes widened, rather overcome by her presence...then briefly her ire towards Bastien rekindled. Beautiful? That was the best he could come up with to describe her? First of all, she wasn't just beautiful she was the definition of ethereal. Her presence exuded confidence. Her eyes showed the knowledge she carried. Her voice lilted with the gentleness she could bestow...and beautiful was the best he could do? This goddess exuded qualities Phoebe yearned for in herself yet knew were likely beyond her reach as a mortal woman...or even in mortal woman terms. She had thought Bastien ignorant before, but now it was a solidified fact in her mind. Only divine intervention would shake it. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to offend." she said quickly but sincerely, chastizing herself internally for already making a mistake. "I don't think any could mistake you for another deity...I just did not know what else to do. I tried to find out what you might prefer...but my source was unreliable." Though she immediately felt stupid for saying so. Safrin already seemed to know - of course she did ahe was a goddess - of her interactions with Bastien. She had seen what happened in the street...had she also seen her tell him off again when he tried to pin this all on Safrin too? Had her fire offended the goddess? "I hope my words and behavior did not offend you...I failed to remain cordial and perhaps overstepped my bounds." She certainly had been very rude to Bastien...semi-in her name now that she thought about it. Phoebe knew her tongue could get sharp when she was reminded of those who tormented her past patients. But then she wondered...Safrin might find her defense of her very superfluous. She was a goddess after all she could just smite him. What did she need a little common girl yelling at him for? Phoebe bit her lip, considering what Safrin said. "I understand you not accepting an apology on behalf of Bastien...nor am I giving one." Oh no. That idiot dug his own grave on this one and she did not intend to assuage any consequences he might face for it. "I came to apologize that you had been treated that way at all, and hope you will still look kindly on those who followed him in ill-begot worship." Remi. Rexannna. People who had been won over with smooth, confident words and a handsome smile. She worried for them, that the anger this goddess clearly felt for Bastien would spill over to her friends. "I...probably sound very silly. I'm sorry." she said quietly. "But someone needed to give you the apology you deserve for his behavior." And Phoebe thought she was the only one who knew of his offense.

“No, no darling one. What I meant was that Frey is the one who expects offerings, not I. I care little for that sort of thing, though I do appreciate the sentiment of course. She said with a beautification smile. “And was that source Bastien perhaps?” Safrin asked, her lips curling into a condescending sort of smile as she thought of the artist. With a silvery laugh, Safrin shook her head gently. “Offend? Why no sugar. If anything I was impressed by your tenacity. Whatever other mortals might say about your tact, I do not concern myself with. Your intentions seemed genuine, which is all that I care about.” Ill-begotten worship was it? There was a human expression - no press is bad press, or at least it would become an expression for them, one day - and for Safrin something not entirely far off might have been said to be true. Was she the most egotistical and possibly the most attention-seeking? Certainly. Was she vain? Absolutely. That Bastien had her name on the lips of men and woman again was something she was indeed thankful for... But a brothel? Gaudy stars painted on bodies if only so that more could be shown on their human flesh? It had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Bastien, and yet her name had been displayed once again...and Safrin had missed that. “I would never. Or at least, I have not for a long time.” She corrected with a mused twitch of her lips. “I have lived for eons and have seen many men and women like Bastien, who use my name to glorify and make beautiful their own ugliness. I am not so blind that I did not see into the heart of him, nor do I think you mean to imply that I am.” Safrin added, holding up a hand as if to assuage Phoebe of the apology that she could feel brewing. “But in all that time, there are far less like you. You who know very little of religion, who knew absolutely nothing of me. Who possibly ruined the quest given to you by Frey by speaking your mind rather than batting those pretty eyes of you as Bastien would surely have appreciated.” Nibbling on her lip, Safrin crossed her arms casually with an appreciative smile. Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet She did not expect offerings? That surprised her. It seemed to make sense that someone so powerful would want something tangible for their time. It seemed Safrin - while obviously capable of ire based on how she spoke Bastien's name - was far more patient and kind than she had given her credit for. Her lips pressed together and she nodded. Yes it had been Bastien, who had nothing useful to say. The more Safrin spoke, the more at ease Phoebe became. At ease in a way she had not felt in a very long time. It was almost like she was speaking to her mother or eldest sister. Her words were encouraging, encouragement and approval she yearned for and had little place to go to get here. It soothed a pain in her heart she buried beneath layers of worry and work. For a second she grew emotional, swallowing a lump in her throat and blinking away the mist in her eyes. Maybe she wasn't doing so poorly after all. Maybe she was doing okay. But she managed to shove the emotion back down, pulling on every little bit of training she had to keep it together in tough situations. It did help that, as Safrin anticipated, her words made her want to apologize. She even got her lips parted to do so, closing them quickly when the goddess held up a hand. She did know so little didn't she? She glanced down for a moment. "Certainly you think me a little foolish for doing so?" she asked quietly, looking up at her. Phoebe wanted to know more, she wanted to understand, but frankly she was a bit scared. Frey had been a much more jarring introduction to the reality of deities...and for the first time she considered if she failed their task. Phoebe frowned, brow furrowing in thought. "I...don't know a lot as you say...but I am not certain that would have counted...because I didn't want Bastien...though you would know more than me on the subject. " Frey had made clear that want was very important...But Safrin definitelywould know Frey better than her. "And...well when I did bat my lashes at Bastien just to goad him he wasn't impressed anyways." she mumbled, embarrassed.  The sex-maniac, self-professed seeker of whatever sat still long enough wasn't interested in her. It was a hit to her shakey at best self-esteem. She was just stupid little girl. Briefly she wondered if Emmett would come to the same conclusion. Phoebe looked back up with a little smile though. "Even not knowing you, I could not fathom you deserving of his selfish affections. And now having met you, I am certain. I appreciate your kindness and grace, Safrin."

"I think you all a little foolish." Safrin responded with a musical, though not unkind, bout of laughter. At the mention that Bastien might not count, Safrin's delicate shoulders rose and fell, casting bits of starlight to shimmer down towards the floor. "What would please Frey and what they might have said are not always the same." The deity replied, her desire to offer help to the midwife somewhat muffled by her obvious dislike of her fellow god. "The good knews is that I doubt Frey would care if you failed to do what they said at all." Safrin's eyes rolled with annoyance at this. 'Oh?" Safrin asked, a sparkle in her eyes as her head tilted slightly. "Well, we have already deduced he is not the smartest." Reaching a hand forward, Safrin gently stroked the girl's jaw. Her touch was featherlight, and yet Phoebe would feel as though she'd suddenly been elevated to the highest peak, her lungs full of oxygen-rich air and her emotional woes all but dispelled. "Thank you for saying so, Phoebe. As I said, I am not so surprised by Bastien's actions. Disappointed, perhaps. He had such potential, but then again, you all do. He is one of many. Even now, I believe he fosters the idea to replace my portraits with... well. Images not meant to inspire prayer while one is on their knees." With a laugh, the goddess shook her head. "But such is the way of things." Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet Perhaps it would have been more reasonable to be insulted by Safrin’s comment, but Phoebe was not. Quite the contrary, it was comforting and surprisingly logical that Safrin thought them all a little foolish. ”I suppose to one who has seen eons we would all seem a little foolish.” she said with a small smile. The goddess had seen and knew more than they ever could after all; with such expansive knowledge they must all seem rather childish. Her smile faltered briefly when Safrin continued on about Frey and their fickle nature. She was unsurprised, but it did make her a little anxious. Something about them obviously irritated the goddess as well. First the Golden Goddess Bastien had seen, and now Frey too. ”If it isn’t too much…why do you dislike them? Do you feel the same towards the…golden goddess Bastien called her but I’m not certain that is her name?” she asked innocently. Understanding the interplay between the deities was just as important as understanding the wants of each individual she thought. Phoebe knew basically nothing, and Frey wasn’t exactly interested in a fireside chat. But perhaps Safrin might be willing to explain…and then Phoebe could spread the word in hopes of helping her friends. Phoebe gasped a little at the goddess’s touch, her eyes fluttering wide as she felt suddenly rejuvenated and light as a feather. When was the last time she had felt so at ease, so at peace? She couldn’t remember. ”You are right of course.” she said with a smile. A light blush colored her cheeks when Safrin mentioned the sort of imagery Bastien was about to plaster his walls with. Of course he was. Stupid and tasteless. But Safrin seemed unconcerned with it. She wasn’t about to let it bother her…and why would she? She was a goddess after all. ”Then…if I may ask you what you ought to have been asked in the first place, what is it that you would wish people do to worship or pray you?” What did Safrin want from them? What Frey wanted was…mostly clear, though still slightly murky. She had deduced that Bastien’s plan had been a mostly total failure. It was best to learn from the goddess herself what she wished.

Safrin nodded with gentle agreement. "True. But it is why I find you all so fascinating, even after all these long years." The continued talk of Frey made Safrin scowl slightly, and she turned her star spangled gaze away for a moment as she considered. "There is nothing to Frey. No meaning behind their creativity shall we say. When they were with Rae, they were more...under control shall we say. But here, without the guidance of our three, Frey has ... lost touch." If Phoebe thought the look of displeasure on Safrin's face was obvious at the mention of Frey, the deity looked positively furious at the mention of the Voice. "She is nothing but an impostor." Safrin hissed, the world around them seeming to spin with her anger and contempt. Her perfect teeth were now pointed and viciously sharp as she sneered, crossing her arms. "She calls herself the Voice now." Safrin clarified with a dignified sniff. However as Phoebe directed the conversation make into more pleasurable waters, the goddess seemed to still, her effervescent affect settling onto her features once again. "I ask little, only that my name find its way onto the lips of mortals once again." Safrin replied with a gracious smile and slight sigh. "It is perhaps the most mortal trait I can be said to possess, the desire to be known." Was she vain? Of course she was. She'd never offered herself as anything but. Even gods have their flaws. Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet Phoebe listened with rapt attention, ever the good student and more than fascinated with the topic of discussion. She deeply appreciated Safrin indulging her questions, especially since she continued to show distaste for Frey…but her answers only led to more questions. Knowledge was her only method of survival in this place, the more she knew, the safer she was. The more she could explain, the safer they all were and hopefully the happier deities like Safrin would be. ”Who is Rae? And the three? Is one called Vi?” she asked, losing herself in her yearning to know more, to understand in some way. But she recognized it immediately and chastised herself. ”I am sorry, I am burdening you with such basic questions.” But no one else seemed to have the answers! Emmett only knew some basics, but didn’t seem keen on how it all fit together – fair enough given the focus on survival here. She didn’t really know other Naturals who might have answers, and…well they both seemed to understand that Frey wasn’t particularly interested in indulging in discussion of the divine. But when Safrin’s entire demeanor and visage changed, Phoebe shrank back in fear. The world spun and made her dizzy, the goddess’s rage felt oppressive at best. It was truly one of the most terrifying experiences of her life…and just as quickly as it started it ended. Her hands trembled lightly, her face gone a bit pale. ”I-I’m so sorry, Safrin I did not…” she stopped herself and shook her head. She wanted to know what had happened to cause such ire, but she would not continue to discuss…the Voice…whatever that name was supposed to mean. To be known? That was all Safrin wished from them? Phoebe smiled a little, feeling a little bolstered again now that her kindness had bloomed again. ”I can understand that desire.” she said. Phoebe was a no one. A common girl from common parents from a common village surviving by common means. Yet it did not dampen the wish that someday she might be known for some task, some reason, that her life would have some kind of impact…That Safrin wished to be known to the mortal realm made sense – there was reason for her to be known. ”And I am happy to tell others about you. I think…hearing about you would be uplifting for many.”

"Rae...god of nature. They are the duality in all things." Safrin explained with a nod. "Yes, one is Vi. Creator of life.." A smile that spoke of love and unfettered affection crossed Safrin's lips as she spoke his name with a wistful and longing sigh. "And then there is Mort. The closer of life, God of death." With a growl, Safrin waved her hand dismissively as the world righted itself and serenity fell around them again. "She would prey on your ignorance, but do not be fooled as Bastien has been. Her words are carefully constructed half-truths and her eyes are pretty lies." Softly, Safrin's gaze became gentle and deep once again as she gazed down at Phoebe. "You will never be safe from them while you remained an Accepted. If you ever wish for our protection, you need only ask." With a gentle smile, the deity nodded obligingly. "It would uplift me also to hear my name on your lips Phoebe, should you wish to speak of me, I would be well pleased." Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet Phoebe listened, storing away all Safrin said to pull on later. Vi struck a chord with her. She was a midwife, she stewarded new life into the world. The work of the creator of life sat comfortably on her soul. But…was there not also an aspect of Mort in her work as well? Her efforts were to keep death away from the doorstep, but sometimes things were unavoidable…and then in those moments she was the bearer of bad news – telling a mother of a stillborn, telling a husband he was widowed – her brow furrowed as she mulled on this briefly. Should Rae be striking a stronger chord then, since she worked the delicate line between life and death? But another thought was quick to follow. Safrin said Frey lost their connection to Rae, and she spoke of Vi with a deep fondness. Somehow they were connected, and yet the bonds severed…Emmett’s words that he had never seen Vi bubbled up. It seemed preposterous, if his family was praying why would they not see Vi? She had managed to call upon a deity on accident after all; if their methods were purposeful, he should have at least once appeared in all logic. Unless the barrier that kept them all in here had also severed the connections between those outside and those inside as well. Suddenly pieces began to fall into place. The growl pulled her from her musings and Phoebe was focused on Safrin once again. She frowned slightly at her description of the Voice and nodded solemnly. If she knew there was a danger, she would be on guard. She might not know much but one did not survive finishing school without learning to navigate around two-faced women; and it seemed a fitting description of the Voice based on what Safrin said. Her head tilted a little at her offer, trying to comprehend what she meant. ”While I am an accepted?” If word games were the enemy presented by the Voice, how would being anything else help her? But the offer of protection was…far more than she could imagine and it touched her deeply. ”Thank you, Safrin, I will remember that.” And she would certainly spread word of her name. This Goddess was helpful (so long as you weren’t a total ass Bastien) and warm and empathetic. Her previous musings itched the back of her mind. ”How can I help?” she asked quietly. ”I’m perhaps not useful, I’m not a fighter, but how can I help set things to right?” she asked, looking up at Safrin, sincerity in her desire to help. It was what she did. She helped people…and something terrible had happened and set things off kilter in Caido – broke connections between deities that needed to be in place, disrupted the natural order of things (No wonder Frey is so extreme if they were meant to be connected to a deity involved in balancing duality she thought briefly). But if there was even a small thing she could do to assist…she would see it done, somehow, someway.

"Mmhmm." Safrin agreed with a gentle nod. "Our hope for all those who are Accepted is to join us, of course. To become one with the creation that we have —and are—creating for you." Plucking certain thoughts from the mind of the midwife, Safrin laughed happily, the sound like bells echoing throughout an enigmatic chamber. Considering the girl, nay, woman before her, Safrin considered silently. Her eyes like secretive galaxies sparkled with a kaleidoscope of life and mystery, as her perfectly painted lips pulled back in a smile. "Only to try and prevent the spread of misinformation. The Voice is no god. She was mortal once, and for all her smoke and mirrors she is not at all what she appears, nor is as strong as she takes herself to be. Remind those who would listen who made this world, Caido, and my three: Vi, Rae, and Mort. And of course we who exist here with you: myself, Ludo..and yes, even Frey." With a gentle smirk and beatific eye-roll at the mention of her less savory counterpart, the goddess shrugged. "LongNight will be upon you shortly. Have you place a to be?" Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted

Phoebe I know I am good at something, I just haven't found it yet Oh, Phoebe so wished to ask more questions. What did that mean, to become one with the world that they were creating? But she had asked Safrin so many questions now, surely she was growing weary of explaining the basics to her. She tucked the question away for a later time, confident there would be a later time. There was a lot more going on in this bubble than she had thought before. Surely she would need more guidance or help that only the divine could provide. Of course, she wouldn’t take it personally if she didn’t appear all the time, unlike other selfish idiots she knew. ”…prevent the spread of misinformation.” Was that not exactly what she had done with Bastien, yelled at him for fooling those into thinking he knew how to worship a goddess he knew nothing of. A small smile curved her lips and she nodded. The sound of Safrin’s laughter filled her ears like the most wondrous music, and again for a moment she wished to have even the slightest mortal semblance to her divine perfection. But it was a thought that would forever remain in the realms of dreams while she navigated the plane of reality. ”I will do my absolute best, you can rest assured of that.” She said, a hint of confidence in her tone. She didn’t know how she would manage this, but she would see it through. But…Oh she couldn’t help this one last question! It was important to what Safrin was asking her to do! ”Who is Ludo? I’ve not heard their name yet.” she asked innocently. She knew Frey, she now knew Safrin, if she knew even some of who or what Ludo was about she could truly endeavor to do what the goddess asked of her in the fullest. Safrin asked about Long Night and Phoebe felt a little color rush to her cheeks. ”Yes, I do. I will be staying with a young man named Emmett Palmer and his family. He was the one who told me about Vi…and insisted I not stay at the infirmary because it was not adequately prepared.” And if she was being honest she was looking forward to spending the time with him…but she was also honestly convinced that he was only being nice and taking pity on the silly Outlander who didn’t know a lick of what was going on.

"I have no doubt." The goddess replied soothingly with a nod. Her lips quirked slightly at the mention of Ludo, not surprised at all that the third of their trio was the least known to the populace, despite being already intimately acquainted with a few of them. "Ludo is..." Safrin trailed off, her eyes narrowing with a mixture of affection and annoyance as she tried to put into words how to describe the raggedy-andy of their group. "Ludo falls under Mort. It deals with dreams...perhaps you have seen some of its trickery before. The Festival of Lights is dedicated to it, in a way. It can be far more dangerous than Frey, but at least it does so with some semblance of what you might think of as honour. A truthful trickster for the most part, is Ludo." Noticing the blush but not commenting on it, Safrin nodded with a small smile. "A good place to be. Already luxere have gathered outside of his family's cottage. You should go and settle in as soon as you can. The hours leading up to LongNight can be quite treacherous." Safrin the devil is not as black as he is painted