Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
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It's all things to discuss. Things that Maeve hasn't given much thought to now. How could she work there if she's running a region? There isn't enough time in the day. Will she still run it? Still look after her girls? Of course she will. Outside of her deal with Jack, the Madame doesn't have any business of that nature to conduct, but Locke doesn't know that. How could he?
His sudden inhale pulls her from her thoughts, eyes squeezing shut as he speaks, saying the words she's dreading. I can't. He keeps going, not stopping there and she dares to hope for even a moment, knowing it's likely foolish to get her hopes up. Yet she feels them slowly beginning to rise once more. Maeve draws back, wiping roughly at her tears, straightening her spine and squaring her shoulders. She doesn't bother trying to put on a mask, knowing he'll see right through it, but the Nightshade nods. "When you get back then." The words are barely loud enough to be heard over the muffled din of the party, jade eyes darting that way before dipping to the doll he's cradling in his palm.
Whatever resolve she had to return to her end of the table and leave him be for the rest of the evening quickly disappears at his soft request. She studies it for a moment, wondering who it's for, but too scared to ask. Instead she simply nods, "Yeah... I'll help." Maeve doesn't take his hand as she turns to head back to the party, drifting to a table that's fairly empty still. Only when they're settled and she's carefully sowing the eyes into place, having found smaller buttons, does she dare to speak. "Is this for one of your family?"
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
They can't pretend with each other. The only way he ever manages to throw her off is by telling half truths. It's the facets of him she's never seen that he has to keep using to his advantage but those are becoming few and far between. Before too long, she'll be able to read him too easily. And that's scary in and of itself. But that's just how it's going to be.
It's a start, whatever this is. She leads him to a table and starts to work on the doll. He leans on one hand, watching her for a moment before using the distraction as a way to look at her belly. As fucked as this all is, as scared as he is, the corner of his mouth quirks up because he can't help himself. Deep down, this is all he's ever really wanted, even if he's too scared to take it. Her voice draws him back and he finds her face again. "Yeah. My little sister. I told you about her, right?"
He's not really sad as he talks about it, taking the doll from her carefully. "Just like me but totally different. You would've liked her." He smooths his finger over the new eyes before turning to grab more fabric to start to make her a dress. "Are you going to make one? I've always wanted to make a lantern.." He's never done it even if he wanted to. The thought of maybe being able to see her and being denied is too much for him. He never gives himself the chance to fail.
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
If she notices him stealing glances at her middle, she doesn't comment, instead working silently until she airs the question. Maeve glances over at him, tying off the final thread with a shake of her head, "No, you didn't. Honestly didn't tell me much about your family." Maeve murmurs, watching as his finger runs over the new eyes she picked out, bottom lip going between her teeth as a faint smile tugs at the corners of her lips. She wonders what it would be like to have a sibling. A real one. It's something she'll never truly know for herself. "I'm sure I would have." She doesn't have to ask to know that she's not here anymore. Otherwise they wouldn't be making a doll.
Her eyes drift to the lantern supplies and she grows quiet for a moment, finally shaking her head, "No, I'm not. I don't really have anyone to make a lantern for. Not that I want to see, at least." She doesn't know if her mother and father are still alive, but even if they aren't, she's not interested in seeing a man who neglected her or a mother who left her behind. "I don't even know if my parents are dead. I don't really care to find out." Her shoulders lift in a small shrug, reaching out to grab more thread for her needle, intent on helping with the dress too.
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
"Just never felt like the right time." He kind of shrugs it off. They don't really talk about their pasts and at first he was fine with it. But if they're going to be a family, if they're going to try to be a family, she deserves to know what she's getting into. Maybe. Not that he has any real contact with them but still. He folds some fabric, trying to figure out where he wants it to go. Its bright and floral and screams Torchline. She would've liked it.
He hums softly, looking over at her. "I know my Dad is. Not sure about Ma." Maybe he'll even tell her about his dad. That might make her second guess how badly she supposedly wants him. He holds the doll back out to her, claws where his finger tips once where. Once he notices though, he wills his fingers back to how they should be. Whoops. "Guess we're family now. Can try to be better than our parents."
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
07-16-2021, 11:32 PM (This post was last modified: 07-16-2021, 11:33 PM by Maeve.)
Maeve
Nothing ever felt like the right time. He had always been so hesitant to share his past and hers died by her own hands. It's never come back for her. It's never shoved its drunken way into her path. She's fine with that. Happy with that. Maeve made her choice long ago. The day she gave herself her name. It was something she was never going to go back to. Still, it's something he probably deserves to know. Just another way for him to truly understand her. To know her in ways that no one else does.
Maeve takes the doll, noticing the claws that tip his fingers, brow arching for the span of a breath before her face is neutral once more. Carefully, she slips the doll's arms through the holes of the dress, turning it over to begin sowing the back shut. "Not try, Locke. We will be better. I'll never abandon my child the way my mother abandoned me. I won't shut them outside in the rain for crying because they're scared of lightning." Despite how soft her words are, there is a hard conviction behind them, something like hurt sparking in her eyes. Remembering so vividly being no more than five, crying because of a storm and tossed out into it because her father couldn't be fucked to take care of her.
He wasn't the only one with a fucked up childhood. It didn't make either of them less deserving of love. Otherwise what was the point?
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
These are the moments that make him love her, this side of her he sees that no one else does. Or he hopes no one else does. Softly spoken words laced with fire. The dragon beneath the silk and all of that. He watches as she sews the dress onto the doll, taking in the way her hands move the needle and thread. "You're right. We will be better. Plus, neither of us were a little prince or princess." Not that Maeve seems to take being queen quite that seriously. Not that he would know. He only found out today. And the mark to be a better parent is pretty low. Be that good or bad.
His fingers drum against the table for a moment before his hand sneaks across to take the doll from her. "Her name was Alexandria. Named after some Outlander story my mom liked. A queen of great knowledge and power. She preferred Alex though and she liked real adventures over stories of them." He holds the little doll up, "So much so she wanted to be a pirate, just like Dad. Sail the seas! Find treasure! Blow up ghost whales! The whole thing." He makes the little doll act as he says it, moving it's little arms around.
"But she never came back. She might not even be dead for all I know. But that almost hurts worse.. Knowing she might be out there, alive, adventuring." Not thinking about him. It's part of why he had been so hesitant to leave Torchline. The fear of finding her moved on from him. "She'd call me a liar if I told her the Queen of Torchline, The Nightshade, was having my kid." He gives her the closest thing to a smile he's managed all night and it's not much of one.
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
Something akin to a laugh pushes past her lips, a barely there sound that hardly counts as more than an exhale of breath, but her lips twitch with it. The thought never occurred to her. What her new title meant for her little star. "Notre petit prince." Maeve murmurs, letting him take the doll as her now free hand drops to her stomach, smoothing over the bump there. Her eyes flick back to him, watching as he begins to speak, growing still once more to listen.
It isn't a bad story. Truly. If anything it fills her with a sense of warmth, but she knows how it ends. They're making a doll for her, after all. She's not here anymore. Dead or alive. It didn't matter because she was gone. "She sounds wonderful. Brave and full of spirit." Maeve reaches over to touch his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze before she's drawing back again, hesitant to keep contact for longer than a second. It's easier to pull away than have him push her again. It hurt less if she was the one doing it. "It is worse in some ways... Sometimes I wonder if my mother simply restarted her life out there without me. If she had a whole nother family. Babies that she kept and raised. I'd prefer her dead over that." She admits, dropping her gaze to the top of the table, rubbing at a knick in the wood despite the fact that it won't do anything.
Her cheeks flush prettily at the use of her title and she ducks her head almost shyly, "I'm still not used to people calling me that." Maeve huffs, tucking a stray curl behind her ear, chancing a glance at him from beneath her lashes. "I hope it's a boy... A little prince." She smoothes her hand back over her belly, eyes widening before she blinks rapidly, brows drawing together as an actual smile blooms across her face. "Oh. Say something again. Anything." Maeve says suddenly, reaching for his hand and pressing it against her stomach in the same place hers was a moment ago. When he talks he'll feel the faintest flutter against his palm. A kick.
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
He's not sure what she says except she says 'prince' and he's suddenly curious. Does she know? Or is she just saying that? He wants to press but he lets it drop for now. Maybe the word means both in the language she's speaking. Her hand finds his arm, squeezing lightly and he bites his lip for a second. It's the first time she's touched him unprompted. "She was. Full of trouble really. She's how I got this scar. Broke my nose when we were twelve or so?" He points to his nose scar. Maeve's warmth is gone all too quickly and he wants to grab her hand but he doesn't, listening to what she says and trying to distract himself from the urge to seek her touch out again.
"I understand. Always wonder how many kids my dad left behind. Couldn't have been his only one." Although it probably would've been for the best. The world doesn't need more of that really. He sets the doll down, finally done with it. Or done with it enough for now.
"Yeah? I thought you'd be soaking it up. Pretty cool though. The Nightshade. You'll have to tell me about it soon. How it happened. And Aurelia? Right?" His head tilts as she comments about wanting a son. So she doesn't know. She's just being hopeful? Honestly he's not sure what he would prefer. A healthy baby? "Why's that?" Before he can really question her further, she's grabbing his hand and pressing it against her belly.
It's warm and firm and he leans into the touch almost instinctively. Her command leaves him speechless and he simply flounders for a second, suddenly forgetting how words do. "Uh. Hey. Baby. How're you doin' in there?" The response is a tiny kick and whatever Locke was feeling before is gone in a moment. His face lights up and he grins at her, "He's kicking!"
Of course his kid would be squirmy and alive while they're trying to get ready for a festival of the dead.
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
Maeve's eyes fall on the scar he motions to an she suddenly realizes that she only knows how he got two of them. The rest are just as much of a mystery as he is. The sudden urge to map them all out again, to kiss each one and draw the stories from him between shuddering breaths, swirls in her chest and she has to remind herself that she doesn't get to do that anymore. He isn't hers. "Sounds like you two got into plenty of it together." Maeve hums before her shoulders lift in a shrug, "I guess that's one thing we'll never really know. What they did outside of us. Maybe it's better that way." To live in bliss of not knowing this one thing.
"I mean, there are some perks, but it's just... different. I've never had much of anything and now I'm queen. I can't even wrap my head around it really." She admits, meeting his gaze once more, "Yeah, Aurelia too. Sunjata stepped down and Safrin picked us. Woke me up from a dream and drew me down to the beach. I didn't think it was real at first." It had been such a blur. Something that she never thought possible. Until suddenly it was. She had been chosen by her goddess to lead. Somehow that made it even more meaningful than it already was. Maeve doesn't have a chance to answer his question because she feels their baby kick for the first time.
To her utter delight, he does it again at the sound of Locke's voice and she nods, tears suddenly making her eyes glassy all over again. "Hello, little star. It's mummy and daddy." She murmurs, placing her hand beside Locke's and feeling the way he presses and kicks against their palms. "He likes our voices. That's the first time that's happened."
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
Something about her expression changes and its familiar but lasts only a moment. It's probably for the best too. He doesn't know if he can deal with that right now. The corner of his mouth quirks up and he brushes aside all of those random feelings. "So much shit." And maybe one day his little one will know what it's like to have a sibling of their own. Probably won't be his but still. He can be hopeful. He hums softly in agreement as she talks. It is probably for the best. Alive or dead, it's better not knowing.
"Well it's not like there's a castle in Torchline.. Yet. Wait, are you going to build a castle?" Probably look a little out of place he thinks. But he shrugs as she continues to talk. "Probably for the best, for both him and Nate. They seemed so paranoid last time I talked to them." Not that he had really spoken to Sunjata but Nate had been paranoid at the very least. "I'm glad she picked you though. You'll be a good leader, I think." She cares about people and that's probably the most important part. And she's pretty diplomatic. Or something like that.
He watches her as she talks to the baby, feeling it kick under their hands. His heart picks up again, suddenly and he's having trouble focusing on anything but the reality at hand. She's having his baby. And it's here. Kicking. And he's gonna be a dad. And he left her. She's been doing all of this alone and he should've been there but he wasn't. He tries to smile at her, to pretend there aren't tears in the corners of his eyes. "Maybe he'll follow Ludo then, yeah?" Could have three little shrines..
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
The question earns him a soft laugh and she shakes her head, "No, I don't think there are any plans to build a castle. We did build the Court of Stars, though. It's our government building. We, uh, we put a throne room in there. Just because." She feels her cheeks flush again as she looks down, rubbing absentmindedly at her belly. Maeve doesn't really want to talk about Sunjata or Nate. Not anymore. Instead she just nods, "Yeah, it is." The Nightshade finally settles on, lifting her eyes back to him as he airs his thoughts, a warmth spreading in her chest at the confidence he holds in her. "I like to think that I will. I want to do right by them." She has always been the type to take care of those around her and now she has the power to do that.
Soon they're distracted by a suddenly very active baby, kicking against their hands and squirming at their voices, tangling them up together in a way that will never be undone. Maeve feels tears in her own eyes and she draws in a shaky breath. He had missed so much already, but he was here for this. For this one thing. It was something she didn't know mattered until it happened. Her fingers hook with his in a half hand hold, looking up to meet his eyes and seeing the same tears she holds in hers in his gaze too, "Maybe... Or maybe he'll take to Frey like his father." Maeve murmurs, a watery smile tugging on her lips even as tears threaten to slip own her cheeks all over again.
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
He hums softly, "Court of Stars huh, fancy. Can't believe how much has changed in such a short time. Guess it really is Leafchange though." The whole world is on a forward march, maybe a sprint, and here he is, doing the same shit he's always done. His eyebrow raises at the throne comment. Why did she flush afterwards? Must just be Maeve being Maeve. "You've always done right by them, when you can. I mean you made the Halenani bigger just so you could house more people. I'm sure Safrin is proud of you." He knows little of the goddess but this seems up her alley, from what he does know. Speaking Safrin, "You've talked to Seren then? How is she?" She's here, he's pretty sure he'd seen her. But she was talking to Sah, which is.. interesting. He might even tease her about it, if she still cares about him.
Her fingers tangle with his and it's too much but the baby is moving and he doesn't want to miss it. He's already missed so much. "Maybe. Or Safrin. Got the whole world at his fingertips probably. I would like to take him to meet Frey, when he's born. I think they like babies." Their demi-god is a midwife after all.
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
"No better time for change than the season with that very word in its name, hm?" She laughs softly, the sound barely enough to be a laugh, but it's close. The world was changing. Caido was changing. There was nothing left to do but change with it. Her, him, and everyone else that was caught up in the whirlwind. "I hope she is. I'm really trying." Maeve admits, cheeks flushing all over again as she tangles their fingers together, holding his hand over the spot their baby seems to favor the most.
Seren was another topic entirely and Maeve's lips purse lightly, "She's doing alright. Has a lot on her plate too, but she's okay." Maeve finally settles on, eyes flicking towards where Seren was currently sitting with Sah, working on their own projects.
The statement catches her off guard and she takes a moment to process it then. He was going to come back. She knew that much. Did this mean he was going to be around often? He wasn't just going to ignore his child, but what did that really mean? For her? For them? "They might like that. Phoebe is their demigod. Babies are kind of in their realm."
I'm undone about to burst at my seams 'Cause I am picturing you beside me So let me be everything that you need
He hums softly, trying not to think about it too hard. He's had enough change in the last year. Not that he says that out loud. He just kind of nods, eyes falling down to their hands tangled together. A beat longer and he slips his hand away, as much as he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to lead her on. He's still not sure what he wants to do and the last thing he wants is to make her think any differently.
"I'm glad. I've got the feeling she doesn't want to talk to me." Would she not have come to greet him if she did? She probably knows, about all of this. Why wouldn't she? He thinks she might be closer to Maeve than she is to him. It's fine. He prefers it that way. "She looks healthy though. Good. Can tell she's been training." He wonders if she's still a dragoon.
"Have you arranged care for them yet? While you're doing all your.. Leader-y things?" He would like to think some of it will fall to him but still. Locke tucks his hands into his lap, turning to look down at the table again. It's got a nice wood grain to it. Pretty. "And have you thought about how.. To protect them? From the war?" It's a big question but its been lingering in his mind since he found out. He doesn't want to overstep though. For some reason, he's not sure how much he'll be allowed to be involved with the kid. After all, who really wants Locke raising their baby?
I know I was born and I know that I'll die The in-between is mine
