i sank into the sea, wrapped in piano strings

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

It’s almost like he’s wearing a turtleneck, with how well Isla has bandaged him up. He’s healing well enough, despite his exhaustion, despite the bags under his eyes, despite the way his soul is heavy and he’s grieving. But he’s tried to keep busy until Nate’s back, until they can depart back toward King’s End and Sunjata can throw himself wholeheartedly into Nate and bandage the pain and hollowness in his bones.

For now, though, it’s busy work. Another day of idly helping Isla in the Infirmary only to keep his mind off of things. And when that’s done? Well, he passes by the Settlement and the shops outside, some he feels like he hasn’t seen in a very long time. Some of them are packing up for the night now that the sun has set, but Sunjata simply keeps his hands shoved in his pockets, perusing the ones that remain open.

A mixture of different types of jewelry, some with woven gloves, some with scarves. And while snow does continue to paint the Grounds in its cold embrace, Sunjata finds for the first time ever that he likes the snow. The cold gives him something else to focus on, the bite and tenderness to his fingertips, especially when he reaches out to lift a necklace on a silver string, feeling the cold sharp and intense on the pads of his scarred hand, working his jaw hard enough that the scar along his cheek tugs and pulls.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

The sun sets and Nikolai finds himself wandering the grounds again. It's his first Deepfrost as an Ascended and the change in cold perception fascinates him. And if he finds himself rolling a few snowballs because it doesn't hurt to do so bare-handedly, who's to say?

Turning a corner he spots a man bundled up. Clearly not an Ascended, and not someone he recognizes. Nikolai narrows his eyes warily, thoughts of the coming war leaving him on edge. Putting on his best stern face Nikolai stalks forward. "Who are you?" The young man asks bluntly, demanding an answer. His expression is certainly more of a scowl then stern, but he's doing his best.

It's after he starts talking that Nikolai notices the scars and tattoos. He manages not to outwardly react, keeping his scowl in place. Internally however, he feels his stomach drop at the intimidating display. Fuck. Since when is there a mob in the Grounds? Did I just yell at a gangster?

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

He isn’t surprised when a voice calls out to him, but he is surprised at the attempt at stalking toward him, as if it would intimidate him in the least. He sets the jewelry down, drawing up to his full height again and turns to face the young Ascended with the raise of a brow, casting a glance along him before he looks back down the street toward the VlamVloed. This kid must be new.

“Sunjata.” He replies, head tilting a fraction – as much as the bandages will allow, that is. “Who are you?” His words are thickly accented, and he waits for Nikolai’s response. Perhaps the kid’s heard of him – most people have by now, whether good or bad. But regardless, if nothing else, he is the one that made the VlamVloed, the one that owned it for quite a time before Torchline called him to her.

And he’s also the Flood.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

It takes a second for the name to register, for the title and stories to be processed. And when it does? Nikolai just blinks and gives a sharp nod. "I see." Both his face and voice come up blank while internally the young Ascended has descended into full panic. The Flood. Of course it's the Flood. Who else could I possibly run into tonight? Wait. Since when is the Flood a gangster?

After an awkward second, Nikolai gains some manner of control of himself. Enough to answer at least. "I'm Nikolai. Hi...uh...nice to meet you? Sir?" Fuck. Is he going to kill me? Wait. Isn't he married to Nate?! That thought has a glint of panic entering his eyes. "Nate's not here right now...is he?" The question is hushed as Nikolai eyes their surroundings with clear concern.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

He waits for it to register, and it does. Thankfully. Because Sunjata’s not particularly in a good mood to explain who exactly he was when he’s still trying to figure it out given that his soul has just been torn. But then there’s a moment of pause as the kid begins to stumble, to stutter. “Just Sunjata’s fine.” No need for sirs or formalities, not as he shoves his hands into his pockets and huffs a quiet sigh before shaking his head.

Though it is interesting the way Nikolai glances around as if Nate’s some sort of boogeyman about to jump out and scare them all. “No, he’s not. I’m waiting for him to get back.” So he can go home, so he can bury his companion, so he can pretend to not exist for a while, however long that might be. “Why?” Because he can’t help himself from asking it, his steel gaze lingering on Nikolai curiously.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

Nikolai's jaw snaps shut with an audible click even as the tension clearly bleeds out of him. He might not know the man, but even he can read the stress in Sunjata's body language. Given that it appears to have nothing to do with their conversation in particular, Nikolai ignores it. Instead he tries to determine the best way to inform the man in front of him that his husband is terrifying.

Taking a moment to attempt to consider his words Nikolai finally sighs. "Nate is....intense?" He finally settles on attempting to be tactful. And vaguely honest given that he had the sneaking suspicion that Sunjaga would be able to tell if he lied.

"Not like Wessex is. Wessex is intense but makes you feel safe. Nate just...I can't read his intentions very well." There. Nikolai was feeling rather proud for that explanation. It was probably better then calling Nate unnerving, creepy, and likely sociopathic to his husband's face. Probably.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

Well, he isn’t expecting that answer, but it does bring him out of the dark hole he’s squirreled himself away into just enough to manage a huff of a laugh, a short breathy sound paired with a small smile that tugs at the scar spanning the side of his face. Taking a deep breath, he shrugs, looks around the space behind Nikolai before his gaze lands back on the young Ascended. “He is, when he wants to be.” He agrees, not diving into he fact that it was part of the reason Sunjata loved him so much – the neverending need to be overwhelmed that Nate was particularly good at.

Though, it’s nothing compared to the comment of Wessex – Sunjata’s gaze snapping to the young Ascended as an actual laugh leaves him, a bark and throaty sound that has him wincing as it pushes the wounds to his neck to the surface, Sunjata reaching up to unwind the bandages so that he might be able to put them back on. “Well I’m glad Wessex makes you feel safe. Guess that means you’re on her good side, huh?” Because while Sunjata and Wessex got along tentatively, the two of them certainly had more arguments than friendship get togethers.

The bandages are pulled away to reveal the deep, pink scarring that bisects his compass tattoos on either side of his neck, stopping just under his jaw in the fleshy part below his jawbone, right underneath the two sets of earrings that sit in his ears, one curved and tapered and glinting gold while the other dangles with a feather and blue gems. “Can’t say I relate to that.” He looks back at Nikolai as he spools the bandages into his hands.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

The laugh surprises Nikolai and he finds a small grin forming. "Maybe. She's really awesome." The wince however grabs all of the young Ascended's attention. Sharp eyes catalogue each and every injury that mars the Flood at the moment. Nikolai might not feel pain now, but he remembers it clearly. He'd only been an Ascended for two seasons after all.

Stepping forward he holds out a hand, all nervousness suddenly gone. "Do you want help with that?" The offer is given with a soft voice. Uncharacteristic gentleness lines Nikolai's furrowed brow. "I used to help my mom with her bandages. I still remember how." He explains, memories of helping his mother after a rough day flashing through his mind. Nikolai suddenly feels even more grateful for their Ascensions. His mom hadn't suffered like that since.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

That makes one of them, at least. Wessex is powerful and strong and held a type of conviction Sunjata could only hope to one day have, though it was constantly made difficult with the choices he’s made here. Married to an Ascended while being the father of an Old Gods child. Things were complicated.

As Nikolai approaches though, Sunjata’s smile falters and he watches Nikolai with a hint of wariness, hidden in the steel of his gaze as they grow more shadowed. “Sure.” What could it hurt? He hands the bandages to Nikolai with a lightning scarred hand and crouches a bit as if it might help the young Ascended slip the bandages onto him again. “Usually Nate patches me up.” He pauses, working his jaw. “Saved my life a couple of times too.”

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

Nikolai sets to work immediately. And sure enough the years of muscle memory kick in. The young Ascended begins to gently and efficiently reapply Sunjata's bandages. As he works, Nikolai half-listens to the man speak. "He does? Oh right. I guess he really is a doctor..." Until now Nikolai had still been almost certain that that bit was a lie. What kind of doctor was so threatening anyway? Wasn't bedside manner an important trait for them to have? Nate didn't seem like the type to have any.

Upon finishing his job, Nikolai steps back, eyes giving one last scan over the Attuned. "There. Much better." He declares, clearly proud that he was still capable of properly bandaging someone. Satisfied, Nikolai addressed Sunjata's other comment. "He's saved your life? Nate has?" No matter how hard he tries, the skepticism is heard loud and clear. So Nate was in fact a doctor. That he could deal with. But a good enough one to save someone's life? Bullshit. There's no way.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

“He is a doctor.” Sunjata comments easily, finding it so much easier to focus on Nate rather than everything else. And he isn’t put away by the cool hands of Nikolai as the bandages are wrapped over his wounds again, instead he lets his steel gaze remain on Nikolai, curious, before the kid steps away and Sunjata shoves his hands back into his pockets again.

The skepticism isn’t lost on Sunjata, but it has him leaning back a bit toward the Infirmary where he’d come from, prodding an elbow toward it. “It’s where we met actually. A few Flowerbirths ago there was a mud monster that attacked Fiat Lux and I ended up almost drowning from it. Nate fixed me up with some medicine and some lecturing.” Another small smile blossoms, nostalgic in the way he hasn’t felt in so long. “Stop drinking and stop smoking and blah blah blah.” He shrugs before his gaze returns to Nikolai.

“You must not know him very well.” A dark brow is raised as he begins to step toward the VlamVloed, gesturing for Nikolai to follow him.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

Nikolai shrugs and follows Sunjata, trying to ignore the curious gaze directed his way. He wasn't sure what the man was looking for, or what he was seeing. Locking onto the conversation Nikolai replied,  "I don't. We met once. He doused me in pumpkin guts and...threatened me while flirting with me...we spoke briefly." He eyes Sunjata, calculating his next words briefly before just saying, fuck it. "He made a bad first impression more or less."  

Still following Sunjata, Nikolai tries to wrap his mind around what he'd being told. The image of Nate that the Attuned presents contradicts the image that the young Ascended has in more ways then one. The idea of the rude an unnerving doctor worrying about someone's smoking habits just does not line up for Nikolai.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle

right by the entrance you broke, finally reality's taking its hold

A snort leaves Sunjata, some amusement in picturing the prank Nate must have pulled on the kid that trails beside him. A shoulder rises and falls, a cloud leaving his mouth in a huff. “Should give him another chance.” He offers, turning on his heel to enter the VlamVloed, slipping easily behind the bar and slips out of his jacket as the fire begins to warm his bones. He wears a tank top beneath it, where the edges of his tattoos peek out, the starry swirls of Safrin’s tattoos broken up only by the bumps beneath them of the lightning scars that cover his right hand and appear again through his feathered tattoos over his shoulder.

“Do you really think he’s out to get you? You’re Ascended too. You’re both part of this Family everyone always talks about.” Here he pulls a glass out, filling it up with a bit of whiskey, and leans against the counter to peer back at Nikolai, awaiting an answer.

you're not who you were, but you can't let it go
you're not where you're from, but you're always alone

SUNJATA

Nikolai

We are only haunted by the things we refuse to accept
-Bridgett Devoue

Entering the VlamVloed Nikolai finds himself watching Sunjata curiously as the man relaxes. The tattoos are beautiful and Nikolai feels a bit envious. Maybe I should look into getting some of my own? Maybe some of my favorite poems written in their original languages? That'd be fun. It'd have to be somewhere on my body that he could read still. Otherwise I won't be able to enjoy it.

As Sunjata gets situated at the counter Nikolai sighs, and slumps heavily into one of the chairs. "The Ascended family is good, so good. Every day I'm grateful to be a part of it. So many of them are kind, loyal, and so warm to me. But it doesn't mean that I trust them all implicitly if I don't know them well." A chuckle escapes him. "Or if I'm not fond of them."

Something steely and jagged enters Nikolai's eyes. "And since when has being family ever stopped someone from hurting another if that was truly their goal?" There's anger and grief warring in his voice, his mind flashing with images of his own father. Blood and family had meant nothing to that man.  Hopefully the fucker's jaw healed incorrectly after Nikola broke it.

Given where Sunjata is going with this conversation, Nikolai relents a bit. "The reason I don't like Nate, beyond how hard he is to read is.. it's the air around him. He comes across as a threat alright? Fellow Ascended or not, family or not. He's given me no reason to trust him. Frankly he's done the opposite. That paired with how threatening he is? I try to avoid him."

It was probably a poor idea to say all this to the man's husband. However Sunjata had opened the floodgates and Nikolai found that he couldn't filter his words.

Resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying
-Alex Elle