long black night, morning frost

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

It probably shouldn’t feel like she’s sitting in front of the fire conspiring with her brother as they grin at each other, but Hotaru never expected normality out of the new tethers that bind them. “Why take others off the table prematurely?” Hotaru has slept with more than enough people she should have forbidden herself from - case in point Remi.

Remi’s soft voice is at odds with the material it delivers, and Hotaru forced herself to hum quietly and digest what he says instead of rising immediately to Deimos’ defense. “Do you think your relationship with Ronin seems healthy to eyes that peer from the outside?” They’d talked before of how they considered their own manners of loving to be unhealthy, and their own refusal to care about it. “You said yourself that you’re aware of the unfairness in our relationship - the easy power you hold over me. Is that not reason entirely to be worried for my safety? When you are a married man at that, and to another person whose power he can’t match?” Ronin had been civil and kind last she’d met him, but Hotaru isn’t betting on that continuing if they ever meet again. “Two uncontrollable variables, and only one with any inclination to be courteous to me.” And that lack of control, of ability to stave off damage and harm, she knows what that would do to Deimos.

“You laugh because it seems ludicrous. And it is. But that’s exactly why he’s worried.” And she loves Deimos all the more for it, to have stood up to someone with Remi’s power and been frank with his worries. For her. She misses him anew with an ache that shudders her next exhale. Though her own voice is tempered for the children beginning to nod off after so long being still, there’s no tension to otherwise let it rise. Whatever becomes of Remi and Deimos’ relationship, all she can do is show him another angle to the equation.

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru

This scar I can't reverse, when the more it heals the worse it hurts

'Only that I would have thought the list would be longer than just him.' Remi clarifies with a boyish grin. Sunjata and Nate. Ronin. As they shift topics though, the smile falls from the alchemist's lips.

"No, but then, we do have a relationship. A promise to one another which might not justify how we act toward one another, but it does help explain it. If you and Deimos are not..that to one another, then..." Well, then the comparison is lost on him. "I more meant that...had I said no, had I told him then and there I was planning on killing you to save myself any future struggle that might come up between you and Ronin, what might he have done? It's as you said. He is quite powerless in this, and given he and I are not friends, and you and he are not more than the friendship and love you've said you have, then..." Remi's nose wrinkles slightly as he shrugs. "It seemed like needless posturing, is all." The Lullaby concludes with a weary exhale.

"I do not understand Deimos and I certainly do not trust him. I'm sorry if that makes things complicated for you." He adds after a moment. Because while he and Hotaru did not have what she and Deimos did, nor what he and Ronin did, they did have something. Something that would likely be all the easier for everyone involved if they all got along.

REMI

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

“You underestimate me then,” she laughs. Even Ronin wouldn’t be off the table if it didn’t end Black Widow style.

She listens attentively, firelight flickering in her mismatched eyes as she watches him as he speaks. “Sometimes it is the act of trying that brings comfort, to know you’ve done what you can even in the face of insurmountable odds,” she murmurs with a shrug. “I haven’t spoken much of you to Deimos. He likely has no idea of the understanding we have, the relationship we do have. That’s a fault of mine.” They’d simply never had the chance between the fire, the trial, Halo and Halo Part Two.

“Just as I cannot afford to trust Ronin. It makes things complicated, yes, but not impossible. I trust in your trust in Ronin - and though I’ve recently broken your trust in me whether I meant to or not, all I ask is you try even if unsuccessfully to do the same in return with Deimos.” Success was not assured, but she’d appreciate the pretty lie if that’s all he could give her. “You certainly don’t need to interact. But if he was willing to try to confront you, that’s proof of what he’s willing to do to protect me and the twins. I trust in that.” Though he has said, and proven, that her thoughts don’t much matter. She has to accept that, and does - if only for the twins.

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru

This scar I can't reverse, when the more it heals the worse it hurts

"That just sounds naive, to me." Remi replies with a small shrug. "But if it brings him comfort, so be it. It doesn't matter to me." He adds. From his palm he plucks a feather, and he reaches down that he might softly stroke it across Flora's tiny knuckles.

Listening as an animal might, with an ear cocked in her direction, Remi's smile falters slightly as he tries to fix it in place. "He let a coup occur while you were pregnant. Let you fly over the mountains." The alchemist counters, still in that low lets-not-wake-the-twins voice. "I am not sure what capacity you want me to trust him in. He promised his allegiance and loyalty to Morgan, and then overthrew her. So insofar as the Greatwood is concerned, I have no reason to ever believe should he live here he would not do the same. He burned down Sunjata and Nate's buildings in Torchline all because you asked, and because he did not want to see you hurt. I admire that sort of violent loyalty as it is something I no doubt have in spades, but it is not a trust worthy quality."

A pretty lie she'd not receive, just flushed cheeks and an unwavering seaglass stare.

REMI

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

She smiles gently at him, listening just as attentively in return, watching the feather dance across Flora’s skin and the ripples of flexing tiny fingers it causes. She moves her finger to press the tip into the tiny cup of the girl’s palm, feeling how she clings and releases as the feather tickles across her knuckles. “Oh, he had words about my involvement. But he can’t be blamed for the way I had to escape - he stayed to ensure everyone was safe.” Of which she is unspeakably grateful. That Noah lived, and free at that. “Though Morgan had his unwavering allegiance until she sided so heavily with the Voice. I don’t disagree that the rest is untrustworthy - to you.”

Shifting her legs so they wouldn’t go numb beneath the weight of the babes in her lap, Hotaru turns to gaze into the fire. “That violence and dedication is why I trust him. To know he would do so much on my behalf, because he cares for me - just as I involved myself in the coup because it would get him back in Safrin’s graces. To atone for the damage caused by his involvement in the fire I started.” And she knows that now, Remi is the only other person to know exactly why she’d overthrown Morgan. For Deimos. No other reason. Remi’s sea glass eyes shine as she turns back to look into them. “But it is centered around me. Around the few he loves. I am an exception to his normal reticence.” Just as he is hers. Otherwise, his control is enviable, it was what made him such a good General.

“I certainly won’t ask you to trust him yourself, or in your role as Guardian, if you are asking about capacity. But with my safety, and the twins? Of that I have no stronger faith. And perhaps that makes him unreliable or untrustworthy in other situations, but I’m not asking you to trust him in those.” In fact she wouldn’t be surprised if Deimos felt precisely the same. It is nice to be able to speak so frankly and with such composure with Remi, to air their grievances and concerns even with sleeping newborns between them. “With the twins in mind, I don’t want to be involved in the dangers I might have once embraced. Not until they are older, if at all. I know since he has been roused to action because of me that I am part of the equation. But all I want now is to raise our children.” Until the war calls upon her, if it does, she intends to keep her head down.

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru

This scar I can't reverse, when the more it heals the worse it hurts

"He can be." Remi replies simply, but such are the differences between the Lullaby and Sword. "I would let armies die and citizens fall to different leaders to make sure those I cared for remained safe." And if it came to Noah, an accomplished hunter versus Hotaru who had been heavily pregnant? Oh yes. Remi could absolutely blame the Sword for where he'd chosen to place himself.

"Mmhmmm. To me." He agrees easily. "What indebts him to you can also make him untrustworthy to me." Such was the way of things. "But you are the only lens through which I see him now." Remi adds with a slight tilt of his head. "He is chaos where you are concerned, just as I am where Ronin is. Where they are." Looking down at Flora and Enzo, warmth spreads across the Lullaby's features. "And I do not begrudge anyone who hates me for that." But Deimos seemingly did, which was likely why the pair would never see eye to eye.

Remi considers Hotaru's request for a moment, chewing back the things he might initially want to say or sweep under the rug. Instead, he lets silence still his tongue before nodding slowly. "I will trust him with you, and them, until he gives me a reason not to. And then, no amount of excuses or explanations will change what I do if ever I find out he has put them in harm's way." The alchemist says, evenly, and with deadly seriousness. No amount of Safrin said, or I had to will stop the alchemist's fury if ever harm came to his children in Deimos's presence. "Is that fair?"

REMI

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

“I’d have ripped his spine out with my bare hand if he’d forsaken our people for me. But we ruled together for most my life - it adds a different layer to our relationship, and maybe therein lies the difference. And it’s why I cannot love him romantically either.” Even if she were so inclined. Because she wants that in a lover. Someone who’d do exactly as Remi said. Who would value her above citizenry, crown, country and all. And she simultaneously desires it in a lover, and would refuse to accept it in a co-ruler.

“We’re too alike in many ways,” she agrees, but there’s amusement lurking in her tone, in the curl of the corner of her mouth, flushed red by the fire’s warmth. “But I don’t hate you for it.” She can’t say she loves him, but she loves that their children are as precious to him as they are to her. It’s novel.

“It’s more than fair. Thank you, Remi.” She leans to press her lips to his temple; scarcely a kiss at all, more a brush of breath and skin. Hotaru wonders how it must feel, for a gesture already so full of meaning to be filled with the feedback of true emotion as skin touches skin. Looking down at Flora and Enzo, dozing and twitching in her lap, Hotaru frowns. “If they’ll be aging by end of season, I’ll need to build something for us. Admittedly I think my Attunement is messing with my head because I keep envisioning a den or a nest - but Vai doesn’t deserve the mess they’ll make when they’re capable of running and grabbing things.” Though the fond look on her face makes it clear that the two will be visiting the witch quite frequently, Hotaru doesn’t intend to force Vai into parenthood anew.

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru

This scar I can't reverse, when the more it heals the worse it hurts

Glancing at Hotaru, the alchemist tries to see the truth in her words. Just now, settled softly with their children and bathed in the light of the fire, it's hard for him to imagine the ways in which they are the same that go above what's merely cursory and surface level. But then, didn't he think she was often reckless? That she put others in danger? That she acted on impulse and emotion? Weren't those all charges quite often levelled in his direction? And didn't he, like her, offer reasons that he cared not one bit about whether they were accepted by others? Smiling softly and shaking his head ruefully, Remi raises a conciliatory brow as his gaze sweeps over her fire-warmed cheeks. "I suppose that is true. You have one green eye, which makes you more like me than most." He replies with a boyish smirk.

Trying not to tense as she leans across to press her lips against his skin, the weight of her emotions slides over him. Like a blanket weighted by mountains by covered in a layer of silk, he takes in her adoration, her fervent love for Deimos, her dedication to their twins, and even the strange affection she holds for him, tangled as he is now in her life. What she says next has him turning, brows edging together in an expression of curiosity rather than anger. "You plan to stay here, then?" He wonders softly. Remi had thought that perhaps she would go and stay with Deimos and Noah in the Wilds, wherever they were staying, Or that she even might try and find safety back in Halo.

REMI

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

“It’s as rare here as where I grew up, then?” she huffs quietly, mouth twisted in amusement. Turning to look at the twins, a pale hand rises to gently stroke the baby soft cheek pressed against her chest. “I’m sure they’ll inherit them then.” There’s a tone of awe in her voice. What will they look like as they grow? More like her, like Remi? It amazes her that she will find out far sooner than expected.

His surprise makes him look boyish, young in ways his eyes normally betray. But while her children live and breathe, their safety and her time with them is more important than Halo. What little remains of it. “Yes. I had asked Juniper as well, but…” trailing off as a variety of words she could say tangle on her tongue, she brushes long hair over one shoulder. “It’s a good place to start over. To make a home. Where they won’t have to travel to see all of us - you, me, Vai.” They’d have a centralized family, which was the most stability and normalcy she could give them all things considered. “And it is where we are all safest.” With Remi guarding the Greatwood, she could find no better stronghold to raise them. And it was not as if she lacked wings now - the world would always be open to her if she sought to travel alone.

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru

This scar I can't reverse, when the more it heals the worse it hurts

"Apparently so." He agrees. It had been where he'd come from as well, though of course, Remi hadn't the scientific resources to study why it was that green eyes were so comparably rare.

Pressing his tongue against the tip of one of his incisors, the alchemist holds his breath as he considers. While it was convenient for him that Hotaru wanted to stay, certainly there were complications where Ronin and Deimos were concerned. Exhaling after a moment, the alchemist nods his head. "I am glad that you will be staying." Even if others weren't. It was what was best for the twins and ultimately, that had to stand before the feelings of others. "I suppose this is why parents are normally...together, before having children." He offers almost apologetically as he shoots Hotaru a wry smile. Though he and the Valkyrie seemed to be on the same page when it came to the safety of their children, nothing else in their lives seemed to coincide, which presumably wouldn't have been the case had they been a couple. But then, such was life.

REMI

you are not a grave for people to bury their pain inside
never to be remembered again

Unaware as she is of the explosiveness of her presence in Remi and Ronin’s relationship, there is only a comforting appreciation that he sees no need to try to convince her to live elsewhere. Maeve had proposed Torchline, but the idea of making the twins live between two households, two lands, is a stress Hotaru isn’t willing to put them through.

Huffing a laugh, Hotaru stretches her legs out slightly from beneath her to alleviate the prickle of pins and needles. “Undoubtedly. But I don’t regret it.” Guileless gaze turns to him, expression smoothed out into something peaceful and accepting. Regret the issues that arose surrounding the twins? Sometimes. But Remi was a good father, and she could not regret his involvement, and certainly not the twins themselves. Not being sound of mind. Adjusting more onto her hip, she gathers their children close and turns to face the fire, falling quiet as she stares into the flames and soaks in the moment of being reunited at last.

- FIN

you are magic given physical form

Hotaru