From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
It sounds like a compliment, whatever the actual words might be, and Finn feels his chest swell with it. Quite why being big and warm ought to make him feel that way is beyond the Spyglass, but he's smiling hard enough to dimple his cheeks when Tobi brings up kissing again, and he resists the urge to simply swoop down and deliver another kiss to her lips. Neither of them are PDA people, and so instead Finn reluctantly lets her go and steps back.
"I quite like doing the kissing," he says before he can change his mind, and he reaches out for their drinks when Tobi mentions them. "You know," he continues, speaking to the cream melting into his hot chocolate, "we got what we came out here for. So if you wanted to go back to the Tower, we could skip the stalls."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
'Well....' It feels forbidden to even think what she's about to say, and maybe that's why she has to look down at one of the buttons on Finn's jacket in order to speak. "...you can kiss me almost anytime you like, you know." She mumbles with a small shrug, before hazarding a glance up at him.
A warm sizzle of adrenaline erupts in her bones at his suggestion, and Tobi finds herself pretending to consider it if only because it somehow seems more polite. "That's true. There isn't really anything I need from the stalls this year, so...I'd be okay with going home.." Overcome with a strange nervous excitement, the doctor raises her gaze, offering the Spyglass a questioning sort of stare.
Finn's breath stutters in his chest and it's only the fact that his hands are full and that they are still in public that stops him from leaning in to kiss her then and there. "Ah," he says instead, smiling at her shoes. "That's good to know. And I don't like the stalls all that much - there is too much choice," he says, to the surprise of no one. "So, then... let's go?"
It sounds like a loaded statement because it is, and Finn passes Tobi her hot chocolate and offers her his arm as they cromch back through the snow to the Tower, looming blacker than black in the sky overhead. "If," he begins, trails off, and then starts again with a frustrated smile at himself, "If I do kiss you, I want you to know that it is alright, if you want to touch me. Or anything like that." Whatever anything might be.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
Tobi smiles, quietly and to herself, tucking away this little Finnism. There's too much choice. Taking her hot chocolate but not sipping it—the lingering sweetness of Finn's kiss was still on her lips, and she didn't want to dilute it, not for all the caramel in the world—and links her arm through his.
If... Raising a brow but saying nothing, staring intently at the pathway before them, it's with her heart suddenly hammering in her ears that she tries to digest what Finn has just said. This is probably one of the most open and honest conversation they've had with each other in a long time, and the subject matter only makes the entire thing more delicate. "Okay." Tobi agrees, feeling tongue-tied as if Finn's bashfulness was catching. "What if.." Now, whether this was actual ground-setting or the strangest flirting imaginable, is anyone's guess. "...you weren't kissing me, but I wanted to touch you.." The doctor asks tentatively, and with cheeks flushed coral. "Would that be alright?" One could only imagine the reasons Finn's lips might not be on Tobi's, and none of them had to do with PDA or other inappropriate circumstances.
Finn does drink his hot chocolate, but it's more to get rid of it than any other reason. It was Tobi's idea to get it, after all, and it would be rude to leave it or let it go cold. He's comfortable, at least, with their stroll back to the Tower, even if perhaps he's walking a little faster than is customary. (And why would that be, Finn?) When Tobi speaks, picking up on his comments and running with them, he feels his heart all but leap into his throat.
What do you mean? Why would you want to? fights to escape through his lips, followed by another, more insidious little voice that tells him just to agree, to let her do whatever she pleases to him, because everyone's already used and abused him.
But in the end Finn does manage to shake away the panic to really think about it properly, and he frowns thoughtfully down at the snow. "That is alright, but..." Another deep breath, and he nods as if to convince himself to say it. "I get... it makes me uncomfortable, when someone is behind me. It takes me by surprise. Would you tell me, before you touch me when it's like that?"
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
This, Tobi remembers from a time before in her office. When she'd said she wanted to help him stretch and would need to touch him to do so. That had been the first time he'd mentioned it and since then, she hadn't even nudged him from behind when doing the dishes in the kitchen, without first clearing her throat or making it clear in some other manner where she was. 'Of course.' Tobi agrees at once, proud of Finn for being able to communicate his needs to her.
"Maybe...you could tell me the things you do like? I would rather touch you in ways you like, rather than just avoiding things you don't." For anyone else this might be easy enough, and though Tobi is more than aware that for Finn this couldn't be farther from the truth, all she can do is ask. Though his most recent trauma might have been alleviated by Frey, she had been there to see the bruises so vivid on his skin she could nearly see the hands on him and how they'd clutched and pulled. "Maybe tonight...could just be about what feels good for you.." She suggests softly, wondering if her voice could even be heard over the thunder of her heart.
He lets out a breath he hasn't realised he's been holding when she agrees, though in reality there was never an outcome in which she wouldn't. Still, Finn is smiling as they head back in through the doors of the Tower, and he swears he can hear his heartbeat echoing off the vaulted ceilings and through the quiet corridors. It shouldn't make him nervous, to say the things he does like, but as Tobi knows very well, this is Finn Rosencrantz. And it isn't something he has ever done before, with anyone. "I can try," he tells her softly.
But it's more than that, and it's with very pink cheeks that the Spyglass stares deeply into the bottom of his (now empty) hot chocolate cup. "I couldn't do that," he mumbles, however hesitantly. "That would be selfish." He doesn't know if he's trying to talk Tobi out of it or talk himself out of it; either way, it's safe to say that this is yet another thing that Finn has never experienced.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
Both with a set of keys, it's Tobi who pulls hers out. Momentarily leaving their conversation so that even their whispered words are unable to be heard by anyone else, it's only when Finn steps inside and the door is closed and locked, that Tobi speaks again. "Why would it be selfish?" She wonders softly, setting her cup down on the stand normally reserved for keys and other things. Turning toward him, already feeling too warm and bulky with her coat and scarf and mittens still on but opting to meet his gaze instead of taking off her winter things. Reaching up for the lapel of his jacket and smoothing it with her mittened hands, Tobi's head tilts slightly. "If I asked, Finn, tell me how to touch you, so that you like it best—" Her words are whispered and low now, her eyes unwavering as a line of pink dances over the bridge of her nose. "—how would answering that be selfish?"
"Because," Finn mumbles as he follows Tobi into the apartment, setting his cup down beside hers and almost sagging back against the door once it's closed and locked. "It isn't just about me." Even if it had been Tobi's idea, to make it about him tonight. It isn't what Finn is used to; indeed, what he is used to is entirely the opposite, and if the tables had been turned then he would have dutifully gone to task without hesitation.
He almost swears Tobi will be able to feel the thunder of his pulse beneath his coat lapel, and though the nervous anticipation from a few minutes ago has by no means left, there is something about this conversation that seems very important. (Because it is, Finn, you dork). "Well, I... I suppose if you asked, it wouldn't be selfish to answer," he says softly, wishing suddenly that there were less layers between them.
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to do anything."
please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
"If by it, you mean life, then you're right. It isn't just about you. But if it means tonight?" Not wanting to try and logic Finn into agreeing as that would just be another form of strong-arming him, Tobi is lost for words as to how properly to express what she means. Reluctant to tell Finn what to do for fear of inciting old memories and wanting nothing more than to make him feel good, Tobi is left merely staring into his eyes wondering when or if the pendulum between sweet kisses and trauma-talks would ever reach some sort of equilibrium for them.
"I don't feel that way." Tobi says in a voice that's low, but strong. "And I don't want you to feel that way either. Not even for a second." She's tempted to add, unless it's when I ask you to help with the dishes, but leaves that out. Even joking about it might send Finn off into the kitchen to check that their sink is empty, and right now she doesn't want him to take even one step away from her. Releasing him that she might pull off her mittens, Tobi stuffs them in her pockets before undoing the buttons of her jacket. It's occurred to her that the possibility of this ending with the pair of them in bed (or the couch?) is just as likely as this going horribly off the tracks. So, before her mind can complicate things further, Tobi leans up suddenly to press her lips against Finn's as her fingers search for the buttons of his coat. Her kiss is soft and slow as her lips pose a silent question against his. More?
Finn's lips part to say something else - but it wouldn't be fair, but that's not how I have ever done things like this, but I am supposed to be the one who doesn't matter - when quite abruptly he gets a vibrant message of shut up from his subconscious (or his dick). And so he says nothing, which is for the best since he'd have been cut off by Tobi's lips in a moment anyway. Sighing against her and letting her hands work on unbuttoning his coat, Finn lets his own slip down to her hips.
His lips and tongue speak more without ever saying as much, though his kisses never stray beyond soft and gentle, there's definitely more than a hint of need in the movements of his body. Peeling away from the door, Finn draws Tobi closer and parts from her lips just so he can shrug out of his coat and let it pool to the floor. He'll pick it up later, much as it might kill him to leave it usually.
please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
It's perhaps fair to say that it's been a year for them both, despite Finn's dalliances in Torchline. That both was and wasn't his body; both was and wasn't Finn. His hands against hips has Tobi inhaling against his kiss, and as he pulls back to roll his shoulders to relieve himself of his coat, her hands are there to eagerly assist. Tugging off her own jacket that it might keep Finn's coat company on the floor, Tobi unwinds her scarf and throws it casually (but strategically) toward the coffee table where it might cover up the glasses-case left there an hour or so before.
Gently, but not lacking in enthusiasm, Tobi presses the flat of her palms against Finn's chest, her palms flattening the material of his shirt. Not since his last physical exam has she touched him like this, and she realizes with a flush of heat that he's put on even more muscle than she'd given him credit for. Walking backward without pausing (currently they're standing where they had been last time they kissed like this, when Finn had pressed her up against the wall and somehow managed to break her water WiTh HiS KiSs), part of Tobi's mind is aware that someone should probably call a halt and question the propriety of all of this. And she will..in a second, once she reminds herself that way his curls feel beneath her fingers.
Tobi is going to have to be the one to worry about propriety for the moment, because as the hands come pressing against his chest, warm and small and gentle compared to all the ways Finn is used to being touched, he slips an arm around her waist and tries to keep her close even as they meander away from their coat pile. He's leaning in for another kiss now, more eager if no less soft in his ministrations, and he seems to have chosen the bedroom rather than the couch, because that's the way he's trying to take them.
Only when they stumble into the bedroom does he pause for breath, as if remembering what Tobi has said and how it isn't selfish to say what he likes. And so, with flushed cheeks and wishing, almost, that they'd had a shot of whiskey with their chocolate, he guides her hands down the length of his chest and torso, muscles tensing automatically as he feels her touch even through his shirt. "I like slow, at first," he whispers. "It doesn't matter if I'm wearing clothes or not. Slow is still good."
10-19-2021, 09:04 PM (This post was last modified: 10-19-2021, 09:04 PM by October.)
please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
He pauses their wayward venture just as they move into the bedroom, and as he does, Tobi is quite certain that Finn has come to his senses. He wouldn't be wrong of course—a work trip, no matter how dangerous, is hardly a reason for them to suddenly be edging their relationship back toward a place it had only been for a few hours or so nearly a year prior—so as he begins to guide her hands down the length of his body, for a moment she can do little other than blink numbly. "Slow." She agrees after a moment, smiling up at him, relieved beyond measure. Had he not said anything, Tobi is quite certainly the wildfire in her belly might have led her to do precisely all the opposite things. Instead, she lowers her gaze to the buttons on his shirt as her fingers meander over the muscles and scarred lines of his torso.
Almost every one of Tobi's thoughts was coloured by worry, leaving her tongue-tied before Finn. Do you like when I do this? could be the sort of thing often said to Finn; Can I take your clothes off might be another, just as much as, I like touching you. But she is not those men, and nor is Finn wearing silk in one of those rooms. And she does want to take his clothes off, and she does like to touch him.
Fingers well versed in anatomy slide over Finn's body to his shoulders where her hands find the tension in his shoulders and grip it with a soft warmth meant to soothe his muscles. At the same time, Tobi has raised herself onto her toes to kiss Finn again, her lips and tongue frustratingly slow against him, as she deepens her kiss in pace with the pressure of her fingers.
