I'll Be There For You

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you Phoebe had gone full tilt into care mode. She had not left Emmett or his siblings for long since arriving. She still hadn't found replacement for her skirt, a blanket wrapped around her hips sufficing for now. She slept little, comforted a lot. Chris and Milly kept waking up with nightmares that required cuddles. Emmett had not really fully regained consciousness, his waking moments being brief and only long enough for very basic needs like using the bathroom and eating a few bites of food. Yet she still tended his wounds, changing his bandages, making sure his arm stayed mostly still in a sling she had found in the infirmary.  Frankly she was exhausted, and sorely needing comfort, but she had no reprieve. So she worked. At that exact moment she was sitting with her back on the wall, staring blankly into the fireplace. Chris and Milly had finally gone to sleep. Emmett's head was on her lap, her hand gently stroking his hair. It had not been her family that had...but she now fantasized that they may have been some day. How close had she been to having someone she could call mother and father again? People she could call brother and sister? Her lips were curved in an uncharacteristic frown. And whether or not they had been her family, the sight alone of that house would haunt anyone. Phoebe had seen death many times. She had held babies who's age was counted in minutes, the hands of women who had been close clients as their skin went cold. But such a gruesome sight she was not prepared for. But she had to stay strong. She had already lost her family. Emmett and Chris and Milly needed her to be their rock. She would not fail them. Though, part of her worried Emmett would blame her. All those years of uneventful Long Nights, then the year she comes...maybe he would think her bad luck. Or a curse. Her stomach dropped at the thought. She desperately hoped that wouldn't be the case.

For a while Emmett either saw nothing or he saw the blurry ceiling of the Rathskeller. When he was awake he wished he wasn't because of the amount of pain, which would quickly make him nauseous then send him back to sleep. He was confused, overwhelmed. He barely remembered eating or anything else he'd done, and the memories would completely vanish with time. But slowly the veil began to lift. He became aware enough to pick out specific conversations, to feel fingers in his hair and notice Chris and Milly's voices (good. At least they were safe). Eventually he opened his eyes and they didn't feel so heavy he had to immediately close them again. Seeing Phoebe above him he slowly lifted his good arm until he felt her leg and squeezed it with a ghost of his former smile on his face. "Thanks, Bee." He croaked, his voice rough from lack of use and the pain. "...I...don'...remember a lot. But...I'm glad you got us through it." He remembered enough, still, of his home and family. But the actual journey from there to the inn was mostly lost; he just knew Phoebe must have gotten them here. Emmett took some deep breaths, his shattered ribs never quite feeling settled right in his chest. "...I don'...know what I'm gonna do from here." He said quietly, something he didn't want to admit but had to to get it out of his mind. Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you Phoebe started a little when she heard his voice. Not enough to jostle him but obviously surprised. He hadn't really said more than a few groaned words in...well she didn't know how long it was. Time seemed endless in the darkness. But when she looked down she could see by the look in his eyes that he was more aware than the times before. "Here, drink something." she said as she grabbed a cup of water. Phoebe gently held his head up, and would hold the cup to his lips if he needed it so he could do so. When he finished she set the cup aside and let him lay down again. "I used my skirt to patch up your stomach then dragged you here. We are at the Rathskellar." she said quietly, continuing to run her fingers through his hair. "Chris and Milly are fine. Chris has some bruises from you throwing him but fine." she said, in case he didn't know. But just fine. Alive. Not particularly well. This would take them time to get over. But fortunately small children were surprisingly resilient. Phoebe was also obviously not herself. There was no lightness to her. Dark circles were under her eyes from exhaustion. Everything hurt from the ordeal. But work wasn't done yet. "You live." she said simply, watching him with sad brown eyes. Though she knew how it felt, suddenly having lost everything, wondering where to go from there. "You put them to rest, and you rebuild. If not on the farm, then doing something else." she said, tone gentle while remaining direct. She knew it might not be feasbile for him to continue to farm. Chris and Milly were too little to really help much, and it was just him now. Coupled with the memories, he may prefer other work. "And you still have me. I'll do whatever I can to help." she said with a small smile.

Emmett did his best to drink, but each pass of the water through his throat felt like sandpaper and he couldn't help but cough. He was relieved when he could lay back down, closing his eyes and rubbing a hand to his forehead as if it would somehow help. He was a bit alarmed to hear that he threw Chris, but...hopefully it had been for a good reason. It was clear there had been worse dangers than a few bruises. He could see that Phoebe was tired but he was unable to do much to help her right now. He couldn't even sit up or raise both his arms. All he could do was listen and try to touch her affectionately when raising his arm wasn't too much of an effort. "...I...I can' face it. Not yet. The farm. I don'...wanna. I..." Suddenly, embarrassingly, Emmett burst into tears. He had never been much of a cryer before, but the ridiculously tragic circumstances drew it out of him. He desperately tried to scrub at his face with his good hand but it kept coming, his breaths quick and panicked. "Fu--uh, sorry, I...I um...shit, Bee. They all died." Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you Phoebe was pretty sure being charged by a raging, venomous, mutant demon bull was a pretty good reason to throw one's kid brother. She was also pretty sure Chris agreed. If a four year old could reason that, it was pretty safe to not feel guilt over it she thought. She could see the emotion and the panic welling up before it spilled over. "Shhhshhhshhh, it's okay. It's okay." she said in a soothing, hushed tone. Her hands cradled his face, smoothing away the tears with her thumbs. She pressed her lips to his forehead, trying to calm him down again. Not to stop him from crying, but to stop him from panicking. "I know. I know they did, I'm so sorry, Emmett." she whispered, face still close to his. "You don't have to face it yet. Soon, but not yet. It's okay to be upset." she said. Long Night would end and he would have to, to put what remained of his family to rest. "But you won't face it alone, I promise."

Emmett felt shame on top of everything else as Phoebe wiped his tears. It went against how he'd been raised, that he was meant to be the man of the family, the strong rock. Strong rocks didn't cry on the floor with girls rubbing their faces, but it was beyond him to refuse her help. "I...I can' look after the whole farm myself." He said, trying to pull himself to practical matters because those were easier to deal with, didn't leave him with a screaming empty hole inside that couldn't be filled. "We gotta have someone to sort the animals, 'n' help with the crops, 'n' keep a watch out for foxes, then someone's gotta clean 'n' make food..." So many things he'd taken for granted were now gone in a flash. If he tried to do all of it himself, he'd collapse in a day. But the Hallowed Grounds needed the farms. He couldn't stop. "..Maybe we can..hire some Outlanders." Emmett mumbled to himself, trying to think of any way to get around it. His voice was still strained, bumpy as sobs came to the surface and were swallowed back down. "They gotta want to work, right?" Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you "Do you have cotton in your ears?" she said, a little teasingly. Phoebe was desperate to get him out of this downward spiral he was on. The weight of grief, the weight of responsibility - it was a lot to take on all at once. Yet despite her words, he seemed insistent to try and take it all on by himself. "You don't have to do it on your own. I'm here to help you." she repeated, running a hand down his neck and good shoulder and arm, giving it a comforting squeeze. "I can cook and clean. Though, I need to stay closer to town. You and Chris and Milly can all stay at the clinic with me?" It was sort of a trek but doable to get to the fields. And better than staying in that house which was definitely not livable. For all she knew, Emmett would prefer to burn it down. "So there. Thats one thing done and taken care of! So three more?" she said, trying to make it seem more manageable. Three more things he listed was all that needed sorting. He had a place to live, and someone who could cook and take care of a house. "I am certain there are some Outlanders who can help. And certainly you have some Natural friends who would be willing to pitch in?" she said. They did all need a good operating farm. It was necessary to survive. "Maybe we can find a dog to help guard the livestock. That's a pretty common practice isn't it?" Phoebe smiled a little, trying very hard to think positively for him.

"I can' take you away from your job, Bee. That's your stuff." Emmett was not as eloquent as he wanted to be when he was in this state, but he meant it. He couldn't take Phoebe away from her life just because his had imploded. Yes, they were dating but only just. This was not the deal she'd signed up for. She was a never ending pot of ideas right now it seemed; Emmett knew she was trying to help but all it did was overwhelm him. A dog?! He couldn't look after his family, what made her think he should take on any more life? With a large sigh he shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. "I...I dunno. I guess I'll work it out when I'm not...like this. I can' think straight. I don' even know if I'm gonna heal right enough to be back on the farm." He looked down at himself; the weak arm at an odd angle still, the bandaged wounds on his torso. It was not the body of the fit young farmhand he'd had only hours ago. "Y'know, Bee...I wouldn'....think any less of ya. If you wanted to leave me be." Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you It seemed everything she said was falling on deaf ears. If he didn't want to talk about the logisitics of how he would make the farm work then she wouldn't talk about it. "You wouldn't be taking me away from anything. I just need to live closer to town. A midwife's work is whenever and wherever a baby is being born." she said frowning a little. She hated when men used her profession as an excuse to discount her ability to meet the needs men had of women. Keeping house. Cooking meals. Raising a family. She could do all of those things too. "Y'know, Bee...I wouldn'....think any less of ya. If you wanted to leave me be." Her heart stopped for a moment and her stomach dropped. It would be obvious, the way her face fell and shoulders slumped. "Emmett..." she said, her hurt plain in her tone. "How can you say that? I am trying to help you! I'm offering to..." She stopped as her voice hitched and she looked away. "Is that what you want? You don't want me now?" she said, the tone of her voice dead.

"..If you're sure." Emmett said, still worried he would be distracting her from her goals. True, there weren't many babies being born right now (though he had heard one crying in the Rathskeller earlier) but her services would be in high demand eventually and he couldn't have her working away on a farm when expectant mothers needed her. He could not have predicted her reaction to his words as she took totally the wrong meaning from them. Instinctively he tried to sit up so they could be eye to eye but his body sung out in pain and he fell back against her leg with a hiss. Sighing, he tried to recover his slip up: "No! Bee, I want you to stay as long as you can. But...I know this is a lot, for you. My family, 'n' me bein' all messed up, 'n' the kids...I'm just saying if it's too much...I'd get it. If you wanted to take a break or just...go. From me. I'd work things out." This was him trying to be compassionate, kind. Giving Phoebe an out was the most generous thing he could think of doing in the moment. He didn't want her to take it, selfishly wanted her to stay forever and help, but...he couldn't feel right in himself if he didn't give her a chance to leave. Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you If she was sure? Of course she was sure! Being a midwife wasn't an excuse for not having ones own life! Every midwife she ever met or knew had their own families and work they helped with to that end. Their families in turn just got used to the fact that sometimes she had to leave dinner early, or they were to fend for themselves for breakfast because someone was in labor or a client needed her. He sat up so fast she didn't have a chance to stop him. But he stopped himself, hissing with pain as he laid back down. "Don't do that!" she chided, putting her hands on his shoulders to reinforce that he was to stay laying down. His words did help though. He didn't want her to feel stuck...which she did appreciate but she wasn't sure how else to convey that she was committed to helping him. She sighed and looked at him for a moment in silence. "I appreciate what you are trying to do. But..." she couldn't find the words. Her brow furrowed as she thought for a moment, deciding that since she couldn't find the right words, and words weren't getting through to him anyways, that she wouldn't use them. Phoebe put a hand on his cheek before leaning forward to press her lips to his. Lightly at first, letting it naturally build to something more passionate before lifting her head away. "I don't know how many other ways I am supposed to say that I want to help...and be with you." she said, her cheeks reddening slightly.

Being kissed was odd in his current world of pain. It was a pleasant feeling, one he would have given anything for only a few days ago, one his body wanted to lean up into and return. But on the other hand, any pressure or effort right now was like trying to stand up a bed of nails. Emmett did his best to kiss Phoebe back but it was weak, interrupted by a cringe of pain. "...Well, alright. I don' think I can argue with that." Summoning all of his courage to smile at her, he took a deep breath and tried to calm the upset in his heart. The situation he was in was so absurdly awful he still felt it might be a dream, but as it became clear it was reality his soul twisted and turned away from it. It was agony. "...I'm..uh...sorry your first Longnight turned out this way. I swear up 'til now they've been pretty borin'. I dunno why it got so bad alla a sudden. I've heard a lotta people talking in here about people dyin'...guess the Gods must be angry or somethin'." Emmett didn't know what it was that prowled outside in Longnight (except bulls, he guessed) but he assumed the Gods had some hand in it. Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you She left a hand cradling his cheek, knowing better than to take his cringe of pain personally. His wounds were extensive. Just breathing probably hurt, much less anything else. Phoebe smiled a little as he accepted her decision, running her hands through his hair again. "Good, because I really don't want to argue with you." she said with a small smile. "Don't be sorry. It was outside our control." she said simply. Of all the things to burden his heart, that awful things had happened during a time when awful things happened was not one she wanted him to bear. "And the things you could control...well I remember them being wonderful." she said quietly, a small smile curving her lips as she blushed. But at the mention of the gods being angry...she sighed and looked at the ceiling for a few moments. Slowly she looked back down at him, considering what to and not to tell him. "Whenever I lost patients or their babies, I would always spend time sitting vigil with a few candles. I did that for your family, in the sanctuary...and Ludo came and spoke with me." she said quietly.

"Well. I'm glad a that, at least." Emmett replied, the hint of a smile staying on his face for a few more seconds before fading. He had practically forgotten their coupling in the midst of all else that had happened, but it was a pleasant memory for him too. Tainted by the fact that just downstairs his family had been...suffering? He hoped it had been quick. At first as Phoebe said Ludo the dots didn't quite connect. But when they did Emmett's eyes widened and he tilted his head just slightly to stare at Phoebe more. His opinions of the Gods ranged from middling to generally positive, Ludo being in the 'meh' section of that, but Phoebe actually speaking to it...? Emmett tried to keep his voice calm and collected as he asked: "And uh...what did Ludo say to you 'bout it?" Emmett I'll buy you a horse my love, and honey you shall ride And all my delights shall be walking at your's side Will stop at every lil' house, and drink when where are dry Be truth to one another, get married by and by.