From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Hitching in her breath as if she might cage her terror in her lungs if she concentrated hard enough, Flora pants out her agony as sweat begins to bead around her temples. "I'mokay, I'mokay." She tells him—or maybe she's telling herself—as her adrenaline turns to lead in her stomach. 'I can walk. It's fine, it's fine." Feeling like she might scream or throw up (or both), Flora turns wide eyes toward Ronin.
Looking ghostly white now, large tears pool in her eyes as she gives her head a frantic shake. "I"m so sorry, I'm so—" Having never experienced Ronin's supernova before, Flora can't help the scream the peels out of her as she's blasted by a wave of healing magic.
When the light fades, she's quietly shivering from shock and adrenaline, clutching her stomach with one hand and gripping part of Ronin's pants with her other. 'I didn't mean to!' She wails suddenly, her scream having uncorked her emotions which now burst out of her. 'I didn't mean to, I promise!' Flora adds feverishly.
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
A bit more warning probably would have helped, but the sudden turn of events has shocked Ronin as much as it has Flora, and so this is unfortunately the way it ends up. Still, her scream is ringing in his ears - along with her apologies and the way she tries to brush it off as nothing - and as the adrenaline cracks through the rest of what she's feeling, Ronin is quick to try and soothe her. "Hey, hey-- it was an accident," he says, reaching out to smooth down her windswept hair and to examine her (no longer broken) ankle.
"You don't need to apologise, alright? But next time maybe we get you some better shoes to clamber over cliffs, mm?" He tries on a small smile, reaching to grab her broken sandal and bopping her with it lightly. "I'm just glad you are okay. You are okay, right?" Raising his eyebrows comically, he reaches out again to tickle her bare foot, as if to make sure.
01-03-2022, 09:39 PM (This post was last modified: 01-03-2022, 09:46 PM by Flora.)
Flora
Feeling startled and guilty and embarrassed and so very small, Flora wishes she could just fold in on herself and disappear. She'd made a mess of everything and ruined their nice day. The first time she and Ronin had gone anywhere together and she had to be a stupid show off, and her sandal was still broken even if her ankle wasn't, and—
Hiccuping in a few quick breaths, Flora nods slowly as she pouts woefully. Around her temples, her hair has begun to curl like Remi's thanks to the pain-induced sweat, which stands comically at odds with her otherwise straight hair (Vai had laboriously brushed it for her that morning, to keep it straight). "I'm okay." She agrees, flinching as she's bopped (as if having expected Ronin to hit her with her shoe), before finding herself bursting out laughing much to her own surprise, as he tickles her foot. "Hey! Hey!" She giggles, wriggling away.
'Will...you hold my hand the rest of the way?' Flora asks timidly, biting the inside of her lip and not daring to look at Ronin lest he say no.
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
Smiling mischievously now, Ronin still tries to chase after Flora's foot, though this time it's to try and put her sandal back on and to hastily tie the strap as a quick fix. He'll find something more permanent later, he thinks. "Good," he says of her being okay, rising back to his feet and holding out his hand to help her up as well. Which is convenient, because that's what she's asking for too.
"Sure," he murmurs with a warmer smile this time. "It isn't too far, but you'll have to keep pace with my old bones this time." And so they set off, his nimbus still listing at their heels, until the Aumakua towers before them. "Now, we can either fly up, or we can be boring and take the stairs," he says to Flora. "Which do you want to do?"
"Old bones?" Flora parrots, looking adorably befuddled as she reaches for Ronin's hand and continues to hold it even once she's up. "I think maybe we should be boring and take the stairs. Clearly, I need the practice." Playfully said, the young girl glances up shyly to see if her joke has landed at all.
'I guess I should be more careful. It's just...everyone else is always running about and doing things, and I guess I just thought...' Shrugging her shoulders and twitching her lips from side to side like some sort of mouse, the girl looks carefully at the path before them. "I know I'm not a Taliesin, but I thought maybe if I was more like Mateo, then..." Then you'd love me, goes unsaid, supplemented instead with, "-then I'd fit in better."
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
"Old bones," Ronin agrees seriously, but the twinkle in his eyes says it all. Scoffing at her joke - it has landed, evidently - he nonetheless pushes open the door to the Aumakua to lead them inside, beginning the plodding ascent towards the top. He doesn't expect Flora to continue, honestly, and something in his stomach turns to lead when she so blatantly lays it all out before him. He doesn't like it, the self-awareness of being other, especially at so tender an age. It makes him feel a little sick with himself.
"I mean this as nicely as possible, but I don't think there is anyone on Caido who is quite like Mateo," he says quietly, smiling sidelong at her. "Besides, you ought to just want to be yourself. What makes you think that you don't fit in?"
Chuckling under her breath, Flora bobs her head as they begin the winding ascent up the lighthouse. "Yeah...that's true.." She murmurs, not sounding convinced.
Suddenly wondering if her hand was too clammy in his, or if there was any chance of him leaving her here if she said the wrong thing, Flora swallows a few times as she focuses on putting on foot in front of the other. "Well...I know you don't like my mom. But...you liked Aoife's mom, and Seren's mom.." She replies slowly and carefully. "And...we don't get to live in the same house as our Dad, or get to come over ever." Flora adds, inadvertently adding in Enzo to the mix. 'And I know there isn't a lot of room on the houseboat and not even Mateo lives there all the time, but..I think if he ever did want to come back you wouldn't make room for him."
Wanting now to pull her hand away but not wanting to seem as sulky as she thought the gesture would make her seem, Flora just shrugs in that jerky and genuine way that children have. "I guess I just thought if I fit in better, then Dad wouldn't have to choose between seeing me and seeing you."
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
There's nothing quite like getting knifed in the heart by a little girl, and Ronin feels it keenly, though his hand remains nothing but warm and steadfast in her own as they climb. "Well, I love Aoife's mother and Seren's mother," he says slowly. "And I don't know yours all that well." And I think she's a reckless snake. "But I am beginning to understand that is not a very good excuse."
Pausing conveniently at the top of the staircase that leads into the shrine, Ronin turns to face Flora, crouching down before her. "The reason things are the way they are right now is not because there's anything wrong with you," he murmurs. "It's about something that's wrong with me, okay? It's like... You know when you get a scrape, and it gets a scab on it? And you know you should leave it alone, but you just really want to pick it off, even though it will make it bleed and take forever to heal?" Ronin smiles sadly. "That's what it's like for me, but with something on the inside."
He doesn't know if he's made any sense to the child before him, but gods if he isn't trying for the first time since he'd learned of her existence. "I think if I can let it heal, though, maybe things wouldn't have to be like this so much. But it's not to do with you not fitting in, okay? You should be yourself - you're fine just the way you are."
"Dad says you don't like her very much." Flora says with a little nod. "But...I don't know why that means you can't like me." She adds, not understanding the complexities of emotional baggage. To her mind, it was like if she was supposed to hate someone just on Enzo's say-so, and that wasn't very nice was it? Especially if they hadn't done anything to her?
Trying to stand tall and not look as terrified or small as she feels, Flora nibbles on the inside of her cheek as Ronin tries to explain. "But..." She begins to protest, feeling that there was something wrong with his argument but not knowing how to verbalize it. "Maybe if I was better...the scab wouldn't itch so much." She ventures, sounding unsure. Right or wrong, with the situation as it was there was almost nothing at all Ronin could say. Like a child of divorce who will always think it's their fault, so too does the girl believe the uncomfortable nature of her existence is something that is not only her fault, but something for her to fix as well.
"I don't feel so good." Flora lies, lowering her gaze. 'Maybe we can just drop our things off and go home?"
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
"Mm, it doesn't make much sense when you put it like that, does it?" Ronin agrees softly. "But I have never spent any time with you before, not properly. I don't think it's true that I don't like you, either. Especially not after today. How could I dislike someone with such impeccable taste in gifts for Safrin?" he ventures with a raise of his eyebrows, though he doubts at this stage in things it will do much to lay a balm on the wounds he has (inadvertently but also completely on purpose) caused.
"Maybe if I was better it wouldn't itch so much either," he says, though as the lie slips out, whether he believes it or not, the Huntsman obliges her. Nodding, he straightens up once more and offers her his hand, reaching back to push open the door. "Alright. Let's leave our offerings, and I will take you to see the Court of the Stars."
Maybe. But maybe you shouldn't take your damage out on a child, Flora's inner therapist will think in later years. For now though she feels as cold and isolated as if she'd been dumped at the bottom of a well. Too young to understand what the situation might be like for Ronin, but old enough to know how it all felt for her, Flora guiltily stares at the stone steps, wishing she hadn't said anything at all.
Wishing she hadn't even come.
Flora's hand would feel like a limp fish in Ronin's, and she'd release it as soon as she was able. With cold fingers she deposited the brooch near the base of Safrin's shrine, before falling onto her knees and clasping her hands in reverent prayer. Please, please, please Safrin...Please make me better so that we can all be together as a family? Just tell me what to do and I promise I'll do it. She thinks with a child's intensity, her fingers clasped so tightly that her little knuckles had turned white. "Please" Flora inadvertently whispers.
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
Ronin can do little with Flora's silence, and he releases her hand at the earliest opportunity so she doesn't have to hold it any longer. Whilst she prays, he moves to set up his offering as well, the vase sitting pretty in the moonlight, the starry flowers arranged with care inside it.
Once they are done he rises to his feet and moves again to stand by the doorway, giving her the space and time to say whatever she needs to say to Safrin. If anyone knows that they can answer prayers sometimes, it's Ronin.
Still, the gnawing sense of doing wrong, of being wrong, never really leaves him. He almost wishes they had never done this either. All the same, once Flora is ready to leave, Ronin will hold the door open for her, following in her wake down the steps.
Beloved by the gods or not, no reply comes for the little girl's plea. Though perhaps in the days to come when Ronin returns with Kamaria as his new ward, Flora will realize that she had gotten an answer. It just wouldn't be one she liked.
Leaving the brooch after kissing her finger and placing it on the opalescent surface, Flora rises silently and glances toward the door. "Okay." She mumbles softly, feeling guilty and reluctant and very much regretting waking up this morning. Never before had she wanted her twin, or her father, or her mother as badly as she did now; instead what Flora had was a man who had possibly implied she was an itchy scab (that's how she would remember today, anyway).
there will be scrapes and sutures; viciousness and victory
"Mmhm," Ronin murmurs, nodding gently and almost looking past Flora when she steps by him. It's as though they have gone full circle, but instead of awkward and roiling irritation, it's just an exhausted sort of acceptance that bubbles between them, Ronin exiting the lighthouse and ensuring it's shut behind them before he sets off once more across the grasses and the shale.
"It shouldn't take long to get to the Court of the Stars. You might see Torchline's queen there, Maeve. Perhaps she'll make tea for you." And once he's done that, he can go and find his son and give him a gentle shove towards the same place, because gods know that Ronin is no good for the girl he's been leading around all day.
