Rotten Nostalgia

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Sam was emotionally exhausted. What with the ups and downs of his and Remi's relationship and the hopes and despairs of Longnight...it had proved to be a difficult week. He needed a simple time now, just a while to repair and think. He was not often a drinker (what was the point when you couldn't get drunk? Might as well have something that tasted good), but he had ordered himself a wine from the bar and was sat by the fire being contemplative and moody. Or at least he wanted to imagine he was being. Really he just looked a little sad and sometimes when he would glance up to see Remi, briefly happy. The wine was sweet and surprisingly good and he drank it much quicker than he meant to, leaving him to just twirl the glass around in his hand. Looking up to see if he could spot Remi in the bar again, he instead found himself meeting eyes with someone he did not expect to see at all - Evie. An instant cold shock ran through his body, the spectre of his childhood not at all a welcome sight. Sam tried to cover his face then turned towards the fire, trying to ignore how it was now too hot on his face (but not dangerous, he didn't think. An unexpected benefit of the upgrade was being able to feel heat without it being in his veins). It was no use, of course. He'd met her eyes, had looked her right in the face. What she chose to do from now was up to her, but he suspected his parents were likely nearby and prepared himself for a barrage of criticism. take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

At least some of Sam's worries were unfounded. The elder Wordsworths were still at home, uninterested in seeing the Spark Bird and all its glory. LongNight was almost over, and given the crowd surrounding the perch they had absolutely no desire to venture out. They would remain indoors as they had for years and years previous. That Evie had wanted to go out at all was a disappointment, but it was her decision to make. Even so, their eyes bore deep and weighty holes against her back as she had slipped out into a night no longer swaddled in blackness. It was around the perch that Evie had seen her twin with that boy. The same one he'd been seated with outside of the infirmary. If they'd looked cozy then, it was nothing compared to how the pair had looked bathed in firelight with their arms around one another. It was ... one of the strangest sights Evie had ever seen. Her brother, awkward and small next to someone so handsome? Her brother with his arm around anyone at all was strange enough. And so of course she'd follow Sam into the Rathskeller. Unlike her twin, Evie had no problems with confrontation, and so despite how Sam tried to avoid eye contact after their initial connection, Evie chipperly walked over and sat down across from her counterpart with a pasted on smile. "So you drink and date now?" evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Sam slowly lifted the hand from his face and forced himself to look at Evie. Even though she had never been the main figure in his nightmares she was a part of the set dressing that reminded him of the years he wanted to forget. She had enabled, allowed, sat by; enough that the sight of her made his chest flare with anxiety and something that he had not yet come to recognise as anger. "...I am t-twenty six. Just like y-y-you." He said, summoning all of the dry bitterness he could into his shaking voice. "I do...e-everything adults do. Drink...and d-date. Are you jealous?" He usually would not engage with a family member to the point where he would issue such a challenge, but he found himself wanting to now. Maybe it was his new numbness, maybe it was the confidence Remi had given him, maybe it was the effects of the alcohol somehow making their way to his Ascended body. Regardless, his eyes had something behind them that said 'this won't be like before'. take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

"Yes Sam, that is what being twins means. We're the same age." She replied immediately, the dryness of her voice so much more practiced than his. "Jealous?" Evie repeated, her cheeks flushing slightly, though it was probably just because of amusement. Not because, deep down, she was jealous. Jealous of the start in life Sam had that she didn't. Jealous that he'd been born normal, that he'd then been ascended, that their parents had thought he could be fixed, while with Evie, the best they could hope for was a well documented and clever series of lies. "What am I supposed to be jealous of? That you can't taste the wine you're drinking? Or that your boyfriend has probably been paid to hang out with you. He was standing with a unicorn for gods sake. No way you two are actually together." evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Sam had ever been so pleased to be able to say the word actually in his whole life. It was rare he had the upper hand in arguments but here he could disprove everything she'd just said and before he descended into his rush of points he took a moment to savour the petty joy it brought him. "Actually. I c-can taste it. Because my bo-boyfriend, who I l-love v..very much. Made me an up-upgrade." He considered showing her his wrist but the mark never showed up much anyway and he didn't want his family knowing where it was; nightmarish visions of his arm being cut off were not hard to find. "I know...you d-don't think I have a life. Outside of y-you and mother a-and fa...father. But I have a sh-shop and a boyfriend and I..I'm in a guild." When he listed all of it out, Sam was surprised how much like an actual life it sounded like he had. Maybe he was doing alright and didn't have to lie to show Evie he could have a life without their family. "...So. I th-think you will be...jealous." take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

The smear of heat on Evie's cheeks washed away entirely as she stared blankly into Sam's gaze. Boyfriend. Love. Upgrade. Evie swallowed. That really was a blow. For everything that her twin had been given (and had squandered), at least Evie could say that she was still mostly human. She could feel, and taste, and do all the things the ascended couldn't do. Her heartbeat quickened. Her parents didn't know about this, or she would have heard about it before now...but would she tell them? Absolutely not. What if they welcomed Sam back? She'd never heard of an ascended with this sort of upgrade before. Who was better, the 'normal' twin who actually wasn't, or the twin who'd always come in last, but now apparently was unique? Evie sniffed and shrugged. "Wow. A shop, a boyfriend, and you're in a guild. Welcome to being 17 Sam." evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Sam saw the way Evie stopped and smiled to himself, ridiculously pleased at the effect he'd managed to create with his words. It was a fantasy, something he'd only ever done in his dreams before, but getting to say things back to his family was just the rush he'd expected. Even Evie's comment on his age rolled off his shoulders with minimal effort. "Well...it's h-hard to grow up at a normal p-pace when you're h-hit and yelled at and made in-into an Ascended ag-against your will, then thrown out." From Sam's point of view Evie had no perception of what it was like to be so badly treated as he had been. He had no knowledge of her magic, her secrets, had only seen his side of the story where he had been hurt badly and she had never spoken up. "While my s-sister just let it happen." He added, his voice full of an uncharacteristically sharp vitriol. "So...c-considering all that. I'm proud of m-myself. And so are my f...f..friends. And Remi." take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

"Boohoo, because you're the only one who had it tough." Evie scowled back, her bitterness rising in equal proportions to Sam's pride at having verbally bested her thus far. However as he tried to pin his mess of a life on her, Evie sat up straighter, arms crossed. "I what? Since when was it my job to protect you? Like I didn't have my own life to live? We're twins Sam. You know what that means? Everything that I can do, you can do." Only that wasn't true at all. Especially now. Evie bristled and sniffed at the air again. "Oh really? So that's why you're here ... drinking alone, staring at the fire, huh?" evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Sam nearly stood up in the immediate surge of anger that rose in him. Yes, he was the one that had it tough. He was the one who sat alone and unappreciated while Evie was congratulated on her accomplishments, he was the one who knew the sting of their father's belt, he was the one who had gone without any kind of birthday celebration, he was the one who had been forcibly changed. "Maybe i-it wasn't your job. But you...you knew, you knew th-that what they were doing was wr-wrong. And all you d-did was say 'Oh but d-daddy, he did th-this too.'" Even the stutters in his voice sounded pointed now, spoken with a strange sort of spitted confidence. She brought up how he was sat alone and Sam lifted his eyes to the ceiling in annoyance. As he did he caught a glimpse of Remi by the doors. A sly smile crept onto his face and he waved him over, refusing to look at Evie. As soon as Remi appeared he smiled and took his hand. "I just...w-wanted to tell you I love you." He said, leaning up to attempt to kiss him. He was doing this to be petty, but he did mean it too. Saying the words...actually helped him to calm down a little. When he looked back to Evie his eyes were more ice than fire, coolly regarding her after presenting proof of his relationship. take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

With a gently confused look on his face, Remi set down the glass he'd been cleaning and moved from behind the bar towards Sam. He offered Evie a surprised sort of smile, noticing immediately the resemblance between the two, but before he might have said anything, Sam had taken his hand and was leaning up to kiss him. With a befuddled and boyish sort of laugh, Remi allowed himself to be kissed, but with a good deal more chastity than how Remi had kissed the bookmaker upstairs in the alcove. They were surrounded by people after all, and Remi was meant to be working, and though, strangely, he hadn't been worried about anyone seeing Remi trying to all by ravage Sam before, something about the affectionate nature of the gesture now made him pause. Hearing the words made Remi laugh, crinkling his nose with an adoring sort of confusion. "Let me know if you need anything, alright?" The alchemist said with a polite nod towards Evie, before shooting Sam another crooked smile as he gently pulled his hand away and returned back behind the bar. remi Trying to teach my common sense to not waver with my confidence

Even now, loyalty to her family and shame about who and what she was kept the female twin silent. How much easier it would be to simply reveal the truth, but the rivalry she felt towards Sam and the unfettered unfairness of it all had turned into something far too overgrown to cut through in one conversation. And so instead of the truth, Evie just smirked and shook her head bitterly. "Well if that was my job, then your job was just to do better. It isn't that hard Sam." As Sam waved at someone, Evie was about to roll her eyes until the man from the bench, and from the perch appeared. He was a good deal more attractive up close, but Evie wasn't convinced. So, flashing him her most charming smile, she watched as Sam leaned up to ... kiss him???? which he allowed???? Her eyes were blue daggers as she glared at Sam, immediately switching to pinpoints of warmth as Remi turned back around. Once he'd departed, her smile turned practically poisonous as she raised a triumphant brow. "Do you know what I liked most about that little show?" She asked, her voice trilling sarcastically along the syllables. "How he didn't say 'I love you' back. evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT Kissing Remi was always nice, but it was especially rewarding when he felt Evie's eyes on them. She was probably horribly shocked and jealous, he thought. As Remi left he nodded and let his hand trail in the other mans as he walked away. Sam turned back to her ready to be smug, but then Evie said something that right away cut to the heart of his insecurities without her even knowing. His instant reaction of hurt was hard to hide and showed clearly on his features. "W...well. He d-doesn't have to say it. I know." He shot back, but even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice. This was a skill of Evie's, always had been: She could dig in to just the right places within seconds. "..D...did you j-just come here to in...insult me and m-my relationship? take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.

"Mmhmmm." Evie hummed victoriously, her lips twisting into a pretty grin that her twin would likely not appreciate at all. "Good for you Sam, being so solid in your relationship that you don't even need your boyfriend to say he loves you out loud. That must be so nice." Falling silent, Evie's stomach stewed unhappily. Actually she had just come in here to see her twin, but as always, the bitterness of more than two decades of unhappiness between them got in the way. "No actually. Though I'm not surprised you think I did, since you think everything is all about you all the time." evie Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

SAMUEL STRETCH OUT MY LIFE & PICK THE SEAMS OUT "Thank you." Sam shot back with an equal amount of venom, but they both knew it was only because he had nothing else to say to that. Remi's absence of real feeling for him (or at least, really strong feelings) was something that tugged at his heart painfully and was hard to speak around, especially to Evie. Everything had always been about him? Ha. He wished. Nothing had ever been about him and he wouldn't be told he was being selfish when he was finally trying to get something for himself. Not even his timid soul bowed down to that notion, and it showed in the hard lines of his face. "Then wh..what did you come f-for?"He asked, his tone making it very clear he'd rather she left. take what you like, but close my ears and eyes, watch me stumble over and over.