Arms deep in a wishing well

Remi stood in one of the small back rooms in the Rathskeller, biting at the inside of his lip, and staring into empty space. His hands were on his hips, fingers drumming idly against his shirt as he took several long and deep breaths. The mask definitely wasn't here. He'd quite literally rearranged the entire room, using both magic and frustration to aid his efforts and if he was certain of anything in this life, it was that this room certainly did not hold the mask given to him by Ludo. Running a hand through his curls and scratching h is nails along his scalp, Remi grit his teeth, and, in a rare moment of demonstrable frustration, he conjured something glass in his hands and then threw it against the wall where it shattered with a pleasing sound, raining bits of sharpened sparkles onto the ground. Only a second or so later, when the CRASH was gone from his mind, the frustration came back. But at least there was something constructive for him to do, namely to clean up the shattered pieces, while he contemplated what an utter idiot he'd been, and what he needed to do next. REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

He had no idea where Edy had disappeared to after his brief sight of her at the newly-occupied perch, but from what he knew of the girl, the bard guessed that booze might figure heavily. Whether she'd been annoyed by the celebrations, or simply looking for her own kind of party, retreating to the Rathskeller's collection of high-proof moonshine seemed a place to start. He had avoided the bar since his arrival in the Temple, unwilling to face the crowd of faces, the prying questions, the smell of fear and tension and unwashed bodies. He'd been too fragile, his vaunted control in sharp-edged shards that only a few people could blunt because they had been there. They had felt the madness and knew the price it had exacted from each and every one of them, and no one who hadn't survived the Rage could truly understand.

But the arrival of the Spark Bird, the validation that their decisions and risks and wounds hadn't been in vain, had chased away more than just the darkness outside. Jigano was by no means whole - hadn't been in years, as he well knew and accepted - but something of his old determination was returned to him with Rory's forgiveness and Ludo's quest and the light that kept the monsters from their doors. Isuma's love, now that she had rested and recovered most of her strength from her terrifying run through the darkness, had much to do with it as well, and she balanced now on his shoulder, sharp claws prickling through his layers and reminding him that he would need to find a better way to carry her soon...

But hopefully she and Bobi would get along when he found Edy to apologize for his absence--

The crash and tinkle of breaking glass drew him sharply from his gentle musings, and his feet hit the floor tense and looking for trouble. But... the tavern itself was empty, people having left to see the (not so) mythical bird and return to homes now made safe by her light. Some would undoubtedly be back eventually, but for the moment it was just him and... whoever was having trouble in one of the back rooms.

"Hello?" he called out, making his way back to where he'd heard the sound. "Are you alright?"

Remi recognized the voice instantly. Rather than adding to his frustration, the sound of it made Remi break out into a rather maniacal sort of chuckle. Of course it was Jigano. Who else would appear when Remi was in the middle of a very youthful sort of tantrum after having post the most valuable possession he'd ever been given? A possession that in the wrong hands might even be dangerous? "Yes Jigano. I am in here—" Remi called out, his laughter fading away slightly as he straightened. He'd conjured a dustpan and broom to sweep up the glass, but now waited for the bard to appear, with a sunny but reserved smile on his face. The alchemist looked utterly exhausted. Despite Sam's efforts to try and let him sleep, the ascended must have forgotten how long it took people to recharge. That, or the continued presence of drama in their lives was sapping much more of the alchemist's energy than he'd realized. REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

Oh.

Of all the people he had been hoping not to run into Remi was... not at the top of the list, but not so far down it, either. Enough time had passed since their last encounter that the bard's hackles had settled, though his frustration hadn't entirely dimmed. They had not parted on good terms, though, and both had been rather brutal in their opinions of each other. If he had been well-rested and at his best this still would not have been a meeting to look forward to. As he was now... well. It was a bit too late to pretend he was someone else.

Still, Sam was... dating?... the pup now, and one way or another they were going to have to deal with each other with courtesy at the very least. They had to start somewhere, and the time had chosen itself.

So with a gryphlet on his shoulder and a fiery feather held gingerly in his hand - he really needed to find someplace to put it safely down, but that was harder than he'd expected when it tended to set things alight with terrifying ease - he paused in the doorway of the backroom where Remi stood, looking at the scene before him. The urge to arch a brow was almost overwhelming, and it did twitch before he smoothed his expression out, taking in Remi's exhaustion - a match for his own, though he hadn't looked in a mirror since Long Night started.

"Are you alright?" He asked politely, searching gaze finding the broken glass with no easy explanation for how it had been broken - aside from being flung, which... perhaps wasn't an impossible explanation after all, given the unsettling chuckle that had emerged just before he arrived. "You look like hell, Remi. You don't have to force yourself to smile for me." His voice was wry, a flicker of humor working its way to the surface as he spoke. The corner of his own mouth twitched at the absurdity of the sentence, even though it was entirely true.

Remi turned, surprised to see the small creature sitting on Jigano's shoulder. Instantly a boyish smile spread across his face as his eyes focused solely on Isuma. Both the feline and the avian in him called out in equal measure, both recognizing something in the small creature though he'd never see anything like her before. "Ah..." Remi mumbled, his mind having noticed Jigano had asked him a question, but far too taken with the gryphlet to immediately form an answer. His smile turned to a wide grin as Jigano blatantly commented on his appearance, and Remi laughed easily in response. Running a hand through his hair and puffing out his cheeks as he exhaled, Remi nodded in agreement. "Well, heroes are often seen smiling, or looking handsome while brooding and since I have not yet perfected the latter..." The alchemist tried to keep his voice wry, but too quickly the absurdity of it—especially in light of just how nearly-vehement they'd both been while discussing precisely this subject matter before—cracked his lips apart and mischievous amusement broke whatever aim towards dry-wit he'd been aiming for. But his laughter and smile, however weary, were genuine. "On that note though ... I have been doing a decent amount of thinking since we spoke last. And I owe you an apology. Not only for the things I said and how I reacted, but also because you are far more right about me than I wanted to admit at the time. Even now, if I am being honest." Which, before Jigano, Remi thought he normally was. It turned out he lied all the time, it was just mostly to himself. REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

Isuma watched Remi watching her with curiosity, though Jigano's caution and wariness towards the man dampened her usual cheerful enthusiasm. She hadn't yet met anyone the bard felt so complicated towards, and her fluffy tail switched back and forth in uncertainty as she balanced on her companion's shoulder and fluffed her downy wings uncertainly.

Jigano found himself snorting softly, reaching up with his free hand to scratch at the edges of her beak with gentle fingers, a caress she purred into, turning her head so he could get her little cheeks, too. "Her name is Isuma," he offered, watching the fascinated distraction on the boy's face with unexpected good humor. Well. Anyone who could appreciate Isuma couldn't be all bad, and it wasn't as though the pup was lacking in good qualities. Just... overblessed with exasperating ones.

He did raise a brow at Remi's sudden declaration that he was, in fact, a hero, but it seemed he didn't need to actually speak as the boy didn't quite manage to finish with a straight face. It was... not the words or the reaction he had expected, and the bard found himself at an uncharacteristic loss for words, wondering what on earth had happened to create such a change in the young man. Was this really all Sam's doing?

If so, he'd never been happier to be proved wrong about something.

And the surprises kept on coming. The second brow joined the first in ascending towards his hairline at the unexpected apology that was spoken with such grace and humility. He drew in a slow breath, tilting his head to watch Remi - even as Isuma mirrored the gesture, somewhat ruining the solemnity of the moment - and finally bowed his head in gracious acceptance. "Well. This was... not what I expected," he admitted slowly. "And... perhaps I was a bit harsh, myself, in how I presented my thoughts. I admit... I am curious as to what brought about this, ah," 'change of heart' sounded churlish even in his own thoughts, so he amended it smoothly as he finished speaking, "turn of events. Sam has mentioned that you and he are dating now, but somehow I think there is more to it than that." He nodded to the broken glass and the dustpan, lips twitching again towards an almost-smile. "Perhaps I can get you a fresh drink while you clean that up?"

"Isuma." The alchemist repeated, her name sounding different when contoured by Remi's accent. He smiled at her fondly, before glancing up towards Jigano. His jest about being a hero was not received with the amusement that he'd wanted, but then again Remi had clearly not been at all good at provoking the sorts of reactions from Jigano that he wanted. Hopefully the bard didn't think he was being serious. There was surely no chance that Remi's pantomime of dry wit had been too good, and so perhaps it was simply the case that the bard found no humour in what was probably too close to the truth. Scrunching his nose slightly as he ran a hand bashfully through his hair, Remi exhaled a long and slow breath. "To be honest, the number of times I have heard your voice in my head since I saw you last, commenting on my actions has been ... well. More frequent than I care to admit." He said with an honest and easy chuckle. "I have indeed been reckless and careless, perhaps so much moreso this LongNight." He added with a weary and exhausted sigh. The mention of Sam and that they were dating made a curious sort of smile spread across the alchemist's face. He wasn't used to hearing anyone say such things, especially about him and another man, and so while his joy was mostly internal, it did bleed out across his lips. "Ah, I suppose we are." He acknowledged with a small chuckle. "And it is as you said. I do think my actions have hurt Sam...however helpless or selfless I thought myself to be...I.." Trailing off, the alchemist recalled his anger at Sam having lied to him, but then turning around and tricking him into remaining inside. Remi had never been manipulative before, and yet it had come so easily to him then. "I do not wish to be the person that you see when you look at me. I do not know if I have changed since coming here, or if I have always been this way and it has simply never been pointed out to me as a problem before but ... However it happened, I am glad that you said what you did." Using both magic and the broom, Remi continued to clean up the shards of glass, nodding obligingly as the bard offered to get him a drink. REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

The little gryphon peeped at the sound of her name, perking up under the attention she was receiving. Jigano's lips twitched in amusement at the two young creatures. He found less humor in Remi's statement about heroes, indeed finding it a bit too on the nose with how the boy tended to act, but he let the words lie without attempting to provoke further comment on them. He remembered how their previous conversations had gone so quickly off the rails with his habit of picking apart the alchemist's choices and phrasing, and he was making an effort to avoid that this time. It likely wouldn't be enough, but at least he would try, for Sam's sake as well as his own.

The apology was unexpected, but not as much as finding out that Remi had a little Jigano on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. The bard smoothed his expression with effort, considering that the voice had likely been a critical one, rather than one suggesting good advice, and he had to stifle a sigh. He settled for nodding slowly, clearing his throat in self-conscious memory of his own Long Night choices. "Ah. Well. Long Night seemed to have that effect on many of us Outlanders, and no few naturals," he temporized gently. "I will not pretend that my own decisions have been much wiser." Though at least the spark bird had come, exonerating much of his guilt and sorrow in the light of their success.

Seeing Remi's smile eased some of the tension that Jigano had felt towards the young man, physical proof that his interest in the bookmaker was genuine. Even his admission that he had hurt Sam didn't come as a particular surprise to the older man. He scratched Isuma's neck feathers while keeping a subtle eye on the alchemist. "And he has likely hurt you," he acknowledged, a little gruffly, but not unkindly. "Even friends can hurt each other. What matters is what you do afterwards to make sure you don't make the same mistakes with each other twice." Not that he had a vast personal experience to draw from in romantic matters, but as a bard he knew quite a lot about romance from the outside, at least.

And even more about how deeply friends could wound each other on a very personal level indeed.

The bard watched Remi cleaning up, listening to his words and, for once, not knowing how to respond. Any protest would ring hollow, but nor did he entirely agree with what the young man said. At last he sighed, giving a small shake of his head. "You're human, Remi. That's all. I was... unfair, in the expectations I hung from your shoulders without your permission. And for that, I am also sorry." He sketched a careful bow, doing his best not to dislodge Isuma or set anything on fire with the feather in his other hand, before giving Remi a little space to think and clean up his destruction.

The bard was gone for several minutes as he found clean glasses and the last bottle of the pumpkin-flavored vodka. Isuma hopped off his shoulder to go make her greetings to Chunk - who seemed perfectly content to ignore the new half-kitten with serene aplomb - which made juggling the two glasses and his feather a little easier. Returning to the backroom he nodded at the dustpan and its glittering contents with a raised brow. "I have much to thank you for, by the way, but may I ask how that found its way to the floor in here? You're not normally the clumsy type."

"But like you said, it is no excuse." The alchemist replied with an apologetic sort of smile. "Or if it is, I think it is safe to say I have overstepped the bounds of whatever LongNight pass we might all have been issued. That Jigano had been unwise did not validate the alchemist's previous thoughts towards the bard, as some might have thought it would. Instead he simply nodded, understandingly. Whether he did or didn't was another matter entirely. The mention of making the same mistakes twice had an obvious effect on the alchemist, who studied his hands for a moment before glancing up towards the bard. His eyes were troubled as he scanned the lines of Jigano's face, before nodding with no small amount of reservation. "I worry that these are the sort of mistakes which will indeed happen twice, or more." From his tone and expression, it was clear that unlike before, he was not trying to make light of the situation. Remi's need to help others and to place himself at risk for their benefit would not be easy to cultivate into something more responsible. And Sam's need to keep those he loved safe would continuously result in the pair finding their desires and paths at odds. They had already made promises to each other which had been broken within mere hours, after all. Glancing up, the alchemist looked uncertain and awkward as Jigano apologized in turn. He'd certainly not been expecting or trying to cull such a reaction, and so his reaction was a bit bashful as he nodded. "No, I appreciate it, and hope you will continue to counsel me as you have done. It is a strange thing, to know that those closest to you will not always tell you the truth ... that is not my way of saying I wish to keep you at arms-length, but your candidness is something that I seem to lack in my current relationships." "Ah.." Remi said with a boyish grin, somehow both cheeky and sufficiently ashamed. "I do not often give in to fits of frustration.." He said carefully, before conjuring a glass vase in his hands. "But it does feel so good to smash things when you have done something quite stupid." REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

The idea of a Long Night 'pass' had the bard snorting softly, an agreement with an edge of dark humor to it. There was little joy to be gleaned from all that had been lost in the darkness, and even the Spark Bird's arrival and healing light couldn't close all of the wounds so soon. For once, however, he bit his tongue against the prying questions that crowded behind his teeth, trying to give the alchemist space to explain his mistakes if he wanted to - or to keep them to himself, if he didn't.

Jigano had not meant to send the young man into a fit of self-reflection over a bit of common wisdom, and he arched a brow at Remi's sudden tension. He waited quietly, though intensely curious, to find what had inspired such a reaction but when it came he had to stifle a wry smile. "That is, in the end, only human," he said gently. "All you can do is try. And, hopefully, learn to recognize when you're about to repeat a mistake you've already made. It might give you enough chance to change things, so at least it becomes a different mistake." He had no intention of interfering in Sam's love life, for all he didn't want to see the gentle bookmaker hurt. He had made a choice to love Remi, and the alchemist seemed to love him back, and so long as they were both sincere even the meddlesome bard recognized that it wasn't his place to do more than offer encouragement and sympathy as required.

His own apology did not come easy, but Remi had earned it, and Jigano acknowledged that with a grace he would not have managed before the Spark Bird's appearance. The lorekeeper tilted his head to listen to the younger man's words with due solemnity, then, after a moment's thought, nodded his acquiescence. "I fear we may still continue to strike sparks from each other. Our personalities are... in some ways so dissimilar, and in others a little too similar for comfort, despite our different backgrounds," he tried to explain, instinctively falling back into his more formal cadences. "But we have too many friends in common, and neither of us wishes to cause them distress, I'd wager. At the least I think we can manage cordiality..." he hesitated, and then a hint of a wry grin lifted the corners of his lips. "And I would ask no less of you, Remi, than the honesty you gave me, as well. You were right, that I was pushing too hard and too fast, attempting to urge you and others towards paths I felt were best for them, and not respecting your own wishes enough. And now that I lead a guild, those I might otherwise trust to tell me when to slow down or back off might hesitate to do so. I would not have it be that way, but I am not so blind that I don't recognize the difficulties such a position can impose on relationships." He cleared is throat self-consciously, giving the other man a nod of acknowlegment. "So. I would appreciate if we can both be honest with each other, when we see the need for it."

It was more than he had intended to say, but he hoped it managed to cover what was needed. When he returned with the alcohol he found himself chuckling at Remi's cheeky explanation, even if it did invite more questions. Here, away from the tread of feet and paws, it was probably safe enough to indulge in a little fit of pique. "Smash away, and then have a drink," he suggested, raising his hand with the two glasses and a wry smile. "You're piquing my curiosity as to what you've done, but I leave it up to you whether or not you want to share it."

"A different mistake." Remi muttered with a wry grin that quickly spread into a light chuckle as he shook his head. "I suppose the real test will be knowing the difference between a new mistake and one that I think is different, but actually isn't." The alchemist said thoughtfully, then shrugged his shoulders. It was a thought for another time. Remi couldn't help the flash of surprise that briefly flickered on his face as Jigano suggested that somehow the two were similar. It wasn't out of disrespect towards the bard, just a complete lack of context, really. He had no idea of Jigano's background (a fact the bard had pointed out to him before), and yet he saw so little of himself now in Jigano that it was nearly laughable. Perhaps that was partially why it was so hard to believe. If it was, Remi might have expected a bit more sympathy coming from someone who knew a bit of what it was like to be 'a Remi'. Then again, perhaps he had the bard's meaning wrong. Similar or not, he was happy to have the chance to, if not start over, at least start afresh. "I would hope more than cordiality in time, but it is a good baseline of nothing else." The alchemist said with a grateful smile and dip of his head. "I can do that." Remi said with a crooked but humble smile. "How is the guild coming? Isla had told me a bit about it, though I suppose..." The alchemist's brows furrowed. "Have...has anyone told you? What happened?" The shock had mostly worn off now, though every now and then having Isla pop into his mind still nearly startled him out of a chair. /// "Ahh, I have probably made enough of a mess to clean up." Remi said, setting down the vase nicely, before exhaling a sigh. Rolling his eyes at himself, Remi leaned a shoulder against one of the walls and twitched his lips as he looked at the bard. "The mask Ludo gave me. " He said, shame and guilt pulling the edges of his lips downwards. "I believe I may have lost it. It was here and now it isn't and no one seems to have any idea as to what might have happened. Perhaps it was stolen, I have no idea, but ultimately it is my fault." He said with a pointed glance towards the bard. Blaming his mistakes on others was one of Jigano's criticisms, the reminder of which now tempered Remi's tongue now, despite wanting to blame Lucas for the disappearance. "I do not look forward to the conversation I feel I must have with Ludo now." REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

Remi's surprise didn't go unnoticed, and it tickled a grim sort of amusement in Jigano's chest that had Isuma peeping softly in concern. He had never been the sort of humble that Remi was, subsuming his own desires in sad smiles and attempts to make everyone but himself happy. But the desire to help others, even to his own expense, to take the weight of the world on his shoulders so others wouldn't have to, the innocent hopefulness that he had lost... No, not everything was the same, but there were enough similarities that he didn't wish to see the alchemist take the dark roads he had, step by oblivious step until it had been too late to turn back.

"Perhaps," the bard agreed, giving the younger man a nod. "In time. But... more slowly this time, I think." There was the flicker of a smile about his lips, a reminder of how he had pushed Remi, even when not intending to. Slowing down a bit would be good for both of them, whether or not true friendship ever developed between them. Cordiality, though, seemed a reasonable enough place to start - and not a terrible place to end, if it came to that.

"The Guild is... I would like to say that it is strong, but Isla..." he sighed, leaning against the doorframe as his smile slipped away to somber confusion over the complication of his feelings. "Sam said that she had been killed, and that you did something to bring her back as a unicorn." He shook his head, still not sure what to think about the tale. "I saw you and... well, something that looked like a horse in the infirmary before the spark bird arrived but... I won't pretend to understand, or that it's easy to get used to. But for bringing her back - no matter her shape - I am intensely grateful to you, Remi." He offered as much of a bow as he could safely manage, with a gryphon on one shoulder and a flaming feather in his hand.

///

Jigano was, admittedly, relieved when Remi chose not to break another piece of glassware, even a magically conjured one. He let the younger man make himself comfortable, patient and unhurried as the alchemist decided whether or not to share his tale. Hearing what had happened, however, brief and unvarnished as it was, had him sucking in a sharp breath, a frown briefly flitting over his features before he smoothed it away. He swallowed hard, however, and gave a little shake of his head at the glance Remi gave him, reading at least some of what the younger man intended with it.

Silently, he stepped over to set the shotglasses of pumpkin spiced vodka down on a box within reach, then claimed one for himself, examining the orange-tinged liquid through the glass and slanting a covert glance at Remi as he did so. "No, I don't imagine that will go well..." he said at last, taking a slow sip and letting the burn of it on his tongue focus his thoughts. "Who knew," he said softly, "that it was here? That you didn't leave it at your home or some safe hiding spot for Long Night? Or that you had it at all? Those of us who were gathered to test the barrier with you, of course but... was there anyone else? Several of the mages were strangers to me, and I don't know how far they could be trusted, but I assume you know them better?"

With an unpresuming nod, Remi agreed. He and Jigano had not really been around each other in a situation that easily lent itself to establishing a friendship, or whether they were likely candidates for such. The day in the library, Remi had been looking for Loren and so his mind was already in places it should not have been. Then during their escapades into the story, far too much was happening all at once, and by then the seeds of dissonance between the two were already ringing. Cordiality though, that was an easy line for the alchemist to walk, and even if it was not towards friendship, it was a road he'd happily keep himself to. Sadly, Remi nodded. Not only because of what had happened to Isla, but at the reminder of what he'd had to do to Sam in order to save her. "Yes. They'd all been called, I suppose you could say. Isla arrived first and as she was consoling a wounded luxere, a monster seemed to...jump? from it and into her. It was the last thing she said she remembers. I did believe Sam when he told me that she died, but he also said that bodies never remain when LongNight ends." Swallowing the lump in his throat and wishing that his mind would stop trying to justify his actions and merely accept them, he gave Jigano a weary but resolute glance. "I would accept her death, in time. But I would never be able to bear the thought of never recovering her body. Of letting it be torn apart by monsters, and so yes, I went to find her. I found Ludo instead and...the rest you seem to know. " The bard's appreciation was perhaps surprising. Before the alchemist had felt the flickerings of something akin to jealousy at the thought of the quick friendship struck up between the medic and the bard. Now though, Remi merely felt something like relief knowing that for once he'd done something stupid that Jigano understood. /// With a curious sort of stare, Remi glanced at the orangey-drink placed before him. "This is the batch you made with Edrei, yes?" He asked with a small smile. Remi hadn't gotten around to tasting it (the memories of what Edy had said to him so long ago still unfairly tainted all his interactions with her), but now seemed a good a time as any. Taking a small sip to let the liquid move about his mouth, he finally swallowed, focusing on the different herbs and things that must have gone into the brew. "It is quite good." He concluded, cheersing the air and taking a proper sip. "A man I met upstairs. He knew about me, which now that I think about it seems more odd than I initially thought in the moment. He was the only one who knew that it was here. Other than Seiji, Ronin and Rory perhaps, I do not believe anyone else even knows that it exists. " REMI How do you steal what you really want When what you really want is free?

Jigano listened quietly to Remi's account of what had transpired that terrible night - or rather, his sharing of Isla's account? He bowed his head in thanks for hearing the full story. He hadn't realized about the bodies, but he supposed it made a gruesome kind of sense. The monsters had fed on fear and anger... what better way to frighten people than to make all evidence of what had transpired and those who had been lost disappear? People's imaginations would always be worse than even the most hideous reality. He nodded understanding at Remi's difficulties in finding closure, knowing he would have done the same himself, though he tilted his head slightly at the end sensing something left unsaid. Ludo... and gifts... "And what price did you pay, this time?" he asked softly, gently, coaxing but not pushing. He would have done no less, he know, and so for perhaps the first time he asked without blame or judgment in his voice.

///

"The first time I met her," the bard agreed with a small smile. "Made from genuine vampire gourd." He toasted Remi back and sipped his own, feeling the cheer fall away as they returned to the more serious matter at hand. He started to frown at the mention of a man Remi had just met but forced his expression to relax. Remi knew he'd messed up, just looking at him made that clear, and repeating what the young man was already telling himself wouldn't help. Jigano's brow did furrow, however, at the list of people. "I don't know Seiji and Ronin well," he admitted. "But the man most recently met seems the most likely culprit. What do you remember about him? We might go looking for him, and see if he still has it?" And if he didn't, what did that mean? That he had hidden the mask? What else could be done with it? Though with the entire Sanctuary to search they could be in for a great deal of trouble...