From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
She might have leaned forward and kissed him then; perhaps passing a wedge of orange to chase away the dryness in his mouth. Tobi doubts that even on one of Finn's best days would he appreciate the gesture, and so she just looks suggestively towards the water at his side to remind him it was there, before biting into another slice of orange.
"No to Torchline then." Tobi agrees. Tropical paradise though it might be, the sun wouldn't chase away the shadows from Finn's eyes no matter how beautiful the landscape. "Not the Grounds obviously. I don't know that I'd want to live in the Greatwood. A forest doesn't seem..." Practical? She doesn't know. "I think we would both feel very tall there." Tobi adds with a half-hearted chuckle.
"How...do you feel about Halo?" She asks, while simultaneously trying to answer the question for herself.
Finn has to juggle his remaining fruit and chocolate onto his knee, but he does reach for the cup of water, taking a grateful sip of it before setting it down again. "I am considered above average height as it is," he points out. "My understanding is that other people find that pleasant." Or at least that is what the zeitgeist of attractiveness has led him to believe, but of course Tobi will need to confirm it.
This has nothing to do with the Fae whatsoever, though, because yes, that implication has soared right over Finn's curly head. "Halo?" He tries it on his tongue. "Is it not very cold there? Are you knowledgable about triaging cold related injuries?" he asks. That might be a joke, but even Finn isn't sure. "...If Noah is there as well, I think it would be alright. If Ronin is staying here in Stormbreak though, that might work as well..."
Somewhere that a demigod can stretch their influence should things go awry is beginning to make a lot of sense. And if the Greatwood is out, that leaves those two places. "...What about Everest?"
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
'Well, I am in the category of other people and indeed find it, in conjunction with your other features, attractive." Get a room you two, god. "What does your research tell you about when you're nearly twice the height of other people, though?" Tobi wonders, given that very much is thinking about the fae, even if he isn't.
'It is very cold there, and no, not as well-versed as I could be." She replies easily, finding the idea of learning new medical skills rather thrilling. Not enough to suddenly uproot her life over, but exciting just the same.
"I wonder if a skyport might be set up in Halo if Noah is ruling." Tobi muses, chewing a piece of chocolate now. "Ever could still go back and forth, but if there are going to be sudden attacks it might be best if we all stay together. I wonder if Mateo is going to be staying here now, all things considered."
"That is very kind of you to say," Finn murmurs, chewing another piece of orange and washing it down with a sip of water. "I have not done any research regarding that. I assume you are referring to the Fae." Ding dong, got there in the end. "I suppose if we did relocate there, I would be able to conduct some research." He'd be kicked in the balls by a lot of the Fae is what would happen.
Inhaling deeply and letting it out again (and thanking the dregs of the sedative Tobi has given him for not having an absolute meltdown at the magnitude of these choices), Finn closes his eyes. He tries to imagine both scenarios. On the one hand there's Stormbreak which, despite its traumas and the heavy weights it presses on Finn's psyche, is comfortable and familiar. It feels safe because he knows it so well, whore houses and all.
On the other hand there's Halo, refreshing in its newness but also petrifying because it's unknown. Shivering a bit, Finn squeezes Tobi's hand. "If Ronin is staying I would imagine that it is more likely than ever that Mateo will stay as well," he says. "...I think we ought to take it slowly. Stay here for now, ask Ever what he thinks. If Stormbreak frightens him now..." Well. The choice is made, in Finn's opinion.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
"I was, yes." Tobi confirms with a bright smile, finding Finn's bafflement reassuring. "I suppose we could always just..." Not knowing about Remi and Finn's recent dream-truce, she's currently trying to find the words that appropriately mean tell the most powerful demigod and Guardian of the Greatwood to go fuck himself. "...ask Remi to keep his distance? Maybe we could live by the Stonesong. That could be nice."
Relaxing slightly, Tobi rolls her shoulders to try and ease some of the tension away. She's going to need a very long nap soon—probably shifted so that she doesn't wake up as sore—but for now there are still a few things to be decided. "What would you say if Ronin asked you to stay on? It's possible he would, you know. You're one of the most senior Order members, even with the Order basically dissolved. If he wanted you as...an advisor? is that something you would want?" That Finn would feel obligated to say yes was obvious, but if he'd want the responsibility? Tobi didn't think he would, but in this time of choices, she'd leave that to him.
"Maybe," Finn murmurs, but already he's thinking of the other reasons that they wouldn't want to live in the Greatwood. He and Remi's dream-truce is beside the point (and honestly, right now he barely even remembers it as something relevant), and the Stonesong is too deep and fast running for the Spyglass's liking.
Meticulously finishing his chocolate and segments of orange, Finn glances back up at Tobi as she speaks. They're questions he should absolutely be considering, but of course that isn't something he wants to do. Frowning, he absently smooths down the blanket she'd covered him in that he's only just realised is still bunched up around him.
"I don't know," he says softly. "Ronin isn't like Cian, so it wouldn't be the same... would it? And if I could help people..." Pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, Finn shrugs. "I don't think I can make selfish decisions, Tobi."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
It isn't often in her professional life that Tobi doesn't have the answers. When she doesn't, she at least knows where to go looking for them. Just now with Finn though, she feels wildly underprepared, with nowhere to turn save for toward the Spyglass's already too-stormy blue eyes. "Well...don't think of them as being selfish, then. Imagine two different futures. One where you are run ragged by Cian, and one where you are...in Halo, perhaps. The man constantly pushed to the edge by the Eye might bring some benefit to Stormbreak with the things he can do, but it will be at the expense of his family, and his sanity. In the long run, are the benefits of being the Spyglass really greater than the things that the man in Halo might be able to accomplish, with a clear head?" Tobi shrugs softly.
"Putting yourself first isn't always selfish. Not when your choices aren't isolated. Doing what's best for you might be better for everyone in the long run."
Finn smiles, and it feels like the first genuine expression that has swept across his face since Tobi walked into his office. He reaches out to take her hand in both of his, giving them a gentle squeeze. "You always know what to say," he murmurs. "I don't know whether I will thrive in Halo or in Stormbreak. But I do know that I am tired of being the Spyglass. I don't want to benefit Stormbreak or anywhere else at the expense of my family..."
And that is that, as they say, and even knowing that much seems to lift a great weight from Finn's shoulders. "So whatever we decide to do together, it will be out from under Cian or anyone else's orders." He's as terrified by the prospect as he is excited, honestly. "I could... oh. I suppose first I would need a new guitar."
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
Finn's smile has the simultaneous effect of making Tobi's stomach flutter with butterflies while making her wonder if he's about to go mad. What he says quickly smoothes some of her worries away, allowing her to match his smile with one of her own. Squeezing his fingers, Tobi longs to simply collapse into his lap. Who cares if they're on the floor, who cares if fires are still burning around the Tower. "Okay." She agrees gently. "No more Spyglass. Whoever you are next, it won't be that."
Mention of a guitar has Tobi laughing as she tosses her head like some sort of wild pony to shake her bangs from her eyes. "I suppose I'll need a new piano as well. Actually..." Crinkling her nose and suddenly finding the whole thing amusing (that's just shock finally setting in, Tobi), the doctor grins. "..I think we'll need all new...everything."
"It won't be that," Finn agrees, though as Tobi looks amused he can already feel his chest growing tight and his fingers start to feel like lead. He's come through the shock and back out again, and now panic will have a real chance to get its claws in him if he doesn't catch it quickly. "New everything," he repeats, his smile fading by degrees. "I... well. I suppose all I have left is what's in this office."
Books, stationary, a tennis ball or two, a spare coat and scarf... it really isn't much. "I think first I might be ready for some more rest, though. If you are," he says, sounding a bit distant as he tears his gaze away from his desk and back to the doctor opposite him. "Or... some proper rest for you, I suppose." Finn has been sedated away from the horror all night, after all.
when the night falls on you & you don't know what to do
'Hey,' Pulsing her fingertips against his to try and get his focus, Tobi gives her head a small shake as she smiles warmly up at him. "It's all just...stuff. I know routines are comforting for you, so we'll make new routines with new things. Things that you pick out." Nothing hand-me-down. Nothing that just ended up as part of Finn's day to day because someone else had put it there.
To say that Tobi is tired doesn't even begin to capture it, but luckily with someone like Finn who knows what bone-deep exhaustion feels like, there's really no need to try and explain. "My eyelashes hurt I'm so tired." Tobi says, closing her eyes for a moment and feeling the instant swirl of sleep trying to drag her down.
"We could go somewhere else if you want, but...honestly I'm okay to stay here, if you are."
The squeeze of her fingers against his own does draw his attention, something that is testament to the closeness of their relationship these days. Managing a wobbly smile, Finn nods, knowing she's right even if it's still far too new and raw to believe it for more than a few seconds at a time. "That sounds nice," he says through a whisper, shifting to carefully lay back down again even before Tobi suggests that they move elsewhere if they want to.
"Here is fine. It will probably be more difficult to fall asleep, if we move," he remarks quietly. "I hope you get a good rest, Tobi. Wake me up, if you need anything..." That, of course, assumes that Finn will be asleep in the first place. And we all know that's about as unlikely as it gets.
