Rebuilding What Was Lost
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
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#1
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
When Sam had first received Remi's letter, he had found himself far too overwhelmed by the fact that it existed to read it. What would it contain? An insistence that Sam kept his distance? A confession? An apology? The possibility of it was so powerful his hands shook as they touched the thin paper edges, considered opening it but put it down. It took him a day to work up the courage.

Finally, he sat down with a cup of his favourite tea and forced himself to pull the letter open. The words made him cry, though he didn't quite know why; they were to be expected, really. An acknowledgement, an apology...but not a solution. He held the letter in his hands and stared right through it, wondering if he'd ever see affection like he'd seen in Remi's eyes during their last night together again.

After he had slept on his thoughts, read the letter over twenty times...he made a decision. Just before this had happened he and Remi had agreed to start over anyway, hadn't they? And he had somehow drawn him in once, right?

Perhaps...he could do it again.

He didn't want to build himself up a false hope, but the new person he was now was the kind of person who had to try (in no small part because of Remi). Setting off to his shop early, knowing Remi usually slept in his own shop next door, he set up the tea and tray in his attic as he had before and went to Remi's door, knocking neatly.

As soon as the door was opened, his nerves took over and he blurted out: "I-I hope that maybe...af-after your letter you might want to h...have some t-tea and a talk now."
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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#2

Opening the door, the alchemist was surprised to see the red-headed man standing before him. No, that wasn't right. His name was Samuel, Sam.

Remi's smile was immediate and bashful, his lashes fluttering as this would-be stranger invited him over. Now.

"Oh." Remi said, glancing back over his shoulder. He had been working on something, but it wasn't urgent, and though this impromptu talk filled him with a cold sort of dread, the alchemist was not the type to make excuses or lie to get out of uncomfortable situations. It was one of the reason he found himself in them so often. "Ah. Yes, of course. " He said with a nod, his lips twitching into a boyish smile as his eyes dropped. It was Ianto and Loren who'd initially broken Remi from his habit of being incapable to hold a man's gaze, and despite what he'd been told had occurred between himself and the man before him, he could remember none of it. This Remi was awkward and bashful and hyperaware of himself in relation to other men.

"I will just grab a jacket—" Remi murmured, having no idea that Sam's shop was right next door.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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#3
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
To his delight, Remi agreed. Sam did notice the dropped eye contact but didn't think too much of it. There had been different reasons for it, but he had spent years struggling to keep regular eye contact with anyone. If Remi was feeling nervous after a confrontation with Ludo, who could blame him?

He was surprised at how charitable his heart was towards Remi, how he find it difficult to summon any real anger or negative feeling at all for him; was that love? It hurt, whatever it was.

"A j-jacket...?" He asked with a smiling frown, but let him do it. Still, Sam laughed as he turned from Remi's door and walked literally two steps before opening his own. "You...helped m-me make th..this st-store." He told him, knuckles curling on the painted wood of the door and his voice dipping to a soft sadness before he forced himself up, cleared his throat and looked back.

"I was hoping you would le-let me tell you. Everything. Not...s-so you'd remember, but...I d-don't know. It feels o-odd. Being the only one holding our mem-memories." With that said he walked into his store and motioned that they were to go upstairs, then headed up the rickety staircase.
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#4

Winter was over, but it was still cold. Frowning himself as he shrugged into his jacket, he quickly found out the reason why the man seem so amused. "Ah." Remi said awkwardly, clearing his voice and running his hand backwards to front through his hair. He stopped, looking up hesitantly as Sam mentioned that Remi had actually helped make the store. The alchemist's lips fell open slightly as his eyes darted away and down. "Oh." He said softly, swallowing.

—Being the only one holding our mem-memories

The alchemist suddenly felt drenched in icewater. There was so much to unpack there: the our that was so frightening and terrifying. In Remi's mind, he was still hiding who he was. He had to, and even if he didn't, even if this world would accept him for who he was, to not remember what it was like the first time he...he...

well. To not remember the first time he anything. Was Sam his first? Had it all happened here? That would make the most sense of course. Swallowing, Remi watched as Sam easily ascended the staircase. On the one hand, knowing that the man upstairs knew things about the alchemist that Remi didn't even know himself anymore, was terrifying. No longer just a saying, there really were people who now knew Remi better than he knew himself. And just what sorts of things would he learn? Was this man the sort to lie? Could he be believed? And if he couldn't, who could? Vai of course, but there was so much she admittedly didn't know.

Biting the inside of his lip hard enough to make himself wince, Remi drew a breath and followed Sam up the stairs.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#5
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
Sam got to the top of the stairs and immediately went to sit down and pour the tea, feeling entirely unsettled himself. Last time they'd been here, Remi had kissed him, taken his hands, traced along his skin with a feather...it seemed both like it was only a moment ago and like it had been a lifetime. His hands shook just slightly as he poured a sweet-smelling red liquid from the teapot and pushed a cup over towards the other chair.

"P-please. Sit." He motioned to the chair and then leaned back, holding his own cup. It was important to him to do this, though he wasn't quite sure why. Perhaps there was some small hopeful part of him that hoped if he told the story well enough Remi might remember, but mostly he just...wanted to chronicle it. Make sure someone else knew what happened so he wouldn't forget it himself, so it would be at least a little real.

"...Do you...r-remember other things?" Sam asked, not quite sure how this worked. "I m-met you...we met in a c-cave, actually. Um. Wh-when The Voice's new sh..shrine appeared." That was not a particularly wonderful memory for him, mostly being nervous in the dark then being forced to drink in front of others...but it had brought him Remi.

"Then..w-we met again, in an-another cave. ...I do-don't know why there were so many c-caves." Suddenly he laughed, a little huff with a glance at Remi.
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#6

With a polite nod, Remi indeed did sit. Though unlike last time, his posture was much more reserved. His back straight, knees together with his hands folded on his lap, and his eyes trained on the floor. As Sam poured the tea, Remi inhaled deeply and smiled to himself. He always had liked tea...but...perhaps this man already knew that? The thought made him feel cold and strange.

"Ah...yes. I mean, as far as I am aware my memory feels fine. There do not seem to be gaps or holes ... I remember Vai and Isla...Ronin, Northwind, coming here.." His shoulders rose and fell easily. It wasn't that Remi was defensive, but it was difficult to walk down this path with someone you felt you didn't know. At least Vai had been familiar. This...this was altogether an experience he had absolutely no words for.

"I remember that. The cave anyways. We pushed through a wall, but I was the only one to make it. I met up with Captain Cobb and the others around the side though. " Sam's laughter drew no response from Remi however, other than a small smile that did not reach his eyes. "I was in a cave-in once. But, again, alone. I just waited for the memory snow to reform and then flew out. " Hazarding a quick glance towards Sam, then letting his eyes skirt back to the tea in his hands, Remi tried to take a steadying breath.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#7
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
The news that the rest of Remi's memory was fine should have made Sam feel better, probably,  but instead he just felt targeted and hurt.  What had he done to Ludo to deserve this? It was certainly more of a punishment on him than Remi, he thought. Remi hadn't known he was missing anything but Sam was forced to hold all the memories, the sadness of missing what they had once had.

Captain Cobb...Sam raised an eyebrow at hearing Archebold described so respectfully but didn't mention it,  choosing to sip his tea instead.

But he nearly spat it out when he heard Remi describe the snowy cave-in as something he'd experienced alone. Looking over he shook his head. "Re...Remi I...d-don't know how to s-say this. But... you weren't al-alone. Th-that was...where we h-had our first kiss,  after I bit y-you. And we flew out t-together." Did Remi remember all of their dates one sided,  alone? The idea wrenched at his heart.

"...I su-suppose you have no i..idea if I'm ly-lying or not. But I swear I'm n-not. I wouldn't,  not t-to you. I promised you I w-wouldn't."
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#8

That he hadn’t been alone was hard enough to stomach. In his mind he could clearly remember the cave in. Could remember whiling away the hours, waiting for the snow to gently reform at the top. It had been cold and boring and long, but certainly not the end of the world. Thinking back to it, it wasn’t as if there was just a man-sized hole in his remembering where he could easily slot Sam into. Not as if—

our first kiss.

Remi’s fingers dropped his teacup as he inhaled sharply. Feeling the hot liquid against his stomach and lap was slightly painful, but nothing compared to the ricochet of fear that echoed through his entire body.

our

first

kiss


“Ah, sorry—“ He mumbled, his politeness automatic despite the way it felt as if his world was crashing down. All the colour drained from his face as he reached down to try and pick up the pieces of the now shattered tea-cup. “I ...can fix it.” He added, pale stare wide as his trembling hands collected the pieces.

Sam’s reassurance that he wasn’t lying meant nothing. It wasn’t that he thought he was, more that his mind simply couldn’t believe it was true.

Remi had spent a lifetime fighting against his urges and secret desires. To find out now that he’d suddenly given in to them, that he’d actually kissed a man, but that he couldn’t remember? His breathing quickened as he clenched his fingers slightly before gathering up the remaining pieces.

—our first kiss.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#9
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
Sam flinched as he heard the shatter of the cup against the floor, having to stare at Remi for a moment before he realised what had happened. Immediately he placed his own cup down and knelt to pick up the shards. "It's a-alright. Would you...like another?"

He was not oblivious to Remi's obvious emotional distress, but he didn't know how to acknowledge it. If he had become so shocked after just the reveal of a kiss, how would he react to the other parts of the story...? Parts that happened in the temple with claws and wings and an arm around his neck?

Their hands brushed just slightly as Sam reached forward for a piece, and he drew his hand back quickly. He wanted badly to hold Remi's hand, to comfort him..but he could sense it wouldn't help in the moment.

Gently smiling and placing the shards of the cup in a hankie brought out from his pocket, he stood up and held it out for Remi to put his collected parts of the cup in. "Y...you're safe here, you know. I kn..know all the st-story already. I w-won't judge you for it..or t-tell anyone else." He couldn't help the soft, easy tone in his voice, one clearly given to someone he was affectionate towards.
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#10

“No, I am alright. I..” Remi swallowed, immediately and dramatically flinching backwards as Sam’s hand brushed against his own. The alchemist was almost always hyperaware of male contact, and the casualness with which Sam’s fingers touched his own seemed only to reinforce what it was that both Sam and Vai had said so far. Running the offended hand through his hair, Remi rocked back onto his heels, his fingers curling against his skull as he sighed dimly.

Doing his absolute best not to touch Sam at all as he deposited the pieces into his hands, Remi stood awkwardly, running his hands over his arms. Sam’s tone of voice made him feel sick to his stomach, the familiarity and affection making the alchemist feel as though he was drowning where he stood. Swallowing down his nausea, Remi did his best to try and rally and not look quite so shell-shocked, but it was difficult. The alchemist wasn’t terribly good at disguising his emotions.

“I am sorry. I appreciate your .. “ Remi trailed off. Honesty? Candidness? Lack of judgement? “I..” Again he trailed off, his gaze skirting towards the stairs for a moment. Swallowing, he looked back to Sam, his eyes only alighting upon the bookmaker’s for a brief second before immediately dropping.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#11
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
Sam laid the hankie on the table with the gathered pieces of the cup. It had not been a particular favourite of his, an old thing with a simple pattern painted on the rim, but...with everything else, it just felt like a last straw. He had to swallow a sob that wanted to come out of him as he turned back to Remi.

His once-beloved seemed so anxious now, so jumpy. Sam felt as if he had to move slowly, carefully, or Remi would fly off into the skies again. He sat back down in his chair with a deliberate sluggishness, watching Remi the whole time. "Please. Si-sit back down. I will...k-keep going." He would only have the courage to do this once. He needed Remi to stay for all of it.

"Perhaps if it makes it b-better, I will le..leave out the um..th-things like kissing." He offered, trying to give Remi the most understanding of smiles. "There is not...s-so much of it anyway. Sadly...a l-lot of the story is...sad. And hard."
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#12

Remi's heart was hammering distractedly in his chest. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sam—not to really look at him anyways. What had it been like to kiss him? Had it been everything Remi had thought and hoped it would be, on those long and lonely nights he spent alone with his thoughts, back in Northaven? Anxiously Remi's fingers clenched at the muscles of his arms, as he nodded obediently.

Sliding into the chair very much like a wary animal, his senses completely on alert and his posture suggesting he was ready to flee at any moment, he did indeed sit. "There was more than just—" Remi's stomach lurched unhelpfully, feeling as though it had suddenly wedged itself in his throat. Had he...oh gods, had he slept with this man? It wasn't the fact that it was Sam he had slept with (his mind was far too overwhelmed to try and consider whether or not he found Sam attractive or not), merely the fact that he'd slept with another man.

Breathing in shallow bursts, Remi nodded, though he seemed anything but sure. But like Sam, he'd probably only be able to make it through this conversation once.

"Sad?" The alchemist prompted, his voice gentle as he hazarded another one of those quick glances towards Sam.

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#13
SAMUEL
i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon.
and with one wanton whoop —
Sam charitably let Remi's half-asked question go by without an answer, but it was obvious from the slight embarrassed smile on his face what that answer would have been. Once he'd thought that sex was something dirty people did or married people once a year for, but actually having experienced it now, the times they had been intimate were some of his favourite memories. To have imparted so much trust and had it returned, to feel so loved and desired.

It occurred to him he may never feel it again, and Sam felt the same flip of his stomach as Remi, but for entirely different reasons.

Trying to collect himself so he could continue, he nodded. "Mmm. We...m-met up for a r..real date. Here, actually. And that one...we-went okay, but...well. You were he-hesitant. Because of Loren. And..I-Ianto." He wasn't quite sure he'd gotten the names right, the men ghosts of a past he'd never been a part of, but he was sure Remi would remember.

"But. We me-met up again. And went out in-into the woods, in Deepfrost. But...we were at-attacked. By a bear. And..y-you saved my life, but then you...you nearly..." Sam choked down the tears at the back of his throat again. "You nearly d-died. Isla saved you."
— i melt into a sycophantic soup,
& all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#14

Remi conjured a feather into his hand, idly stroking it against his palm as he listened. A real date? He tried not to ask an abundance of irrelevant questions that he both did and didn't want to know the answers to. "Loren?" He asked with a curious tilt of his head, shaking it slightly to indicate he didn't recognize the name. "And Ianto is..a fox, Vai said? A friend I have been looking for." He added, perhaps more for himself than for Sam, as if to reassure himself that these were actually real people.

"I remember the bear, and Isla healing me. " He said in a low and slow voice, glancing over as emotion seemed to choke the flow of words from the bookmaker. "Again though, I only remember being alone. I suppose I owe you quite a large debt of gratitude then, for saving me." Remi tried on a smile, but if felt miserable and fake on his lips, and not one for false emotions, the alchemist merely let it fade away as he stared down at the feather in his hands.

"What else?"

REMI
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard and drown me in love
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.


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