Rebuilding What Was Lost

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Sam wanted to badly to ask 'but you are attracted to me'? To smile and flirt with his new confidence that had plenty to do with Remi, but he predicted how it would go: like a heavy stone dropped into Remi's new lightness in the conversation. He stayed quiet, acknowledging the words with a 'mmm' as he tasted his new tea. Too weak. He put it down and set about making it stronger. He was still fiddling with it when he heard 'Oh.' Sam looked up and chewed his lip as he watched how distressed Remi seemed to be. "I..w-won't tell anyone." He comforted, wondering who in the world he would tell anyway. "But you once...ha. No. I shouldn't t-tell you that. It wouldn't d-do your nerves any..any good. But you were bold, often." Memories of the temple drifting by, he leaned back with his better cup of tea and looked up to the ceiling. "We...I was won-wondering if...you'd like to..n-no expectations attached, spend t-time together? Even if we a..are not dating, we're st-still neighbours. And I...you c-can talk to me about anything." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.

Remi closed his eyes with a sigh. Tell anyone? Internally scrambling, Remi found that wasn't what he was worried about. "No it...it is like I said earlier. The not remembering it." Slyly almost, Remi's eyes roamed over Sam's feet, then up his legs, halting somewhere around his midsection before darting away. He'd...they'd been... The alchemist swallowed, feeling a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck. "Tell me what?" Remi asked, morbidly curious. It was hard not to see Sam in a new light, given this information. That he had been bold was perhaps not so much of a surprise. He had been with plenty of women before, and though his boldness with them had been cultivated out of a need to keep his secret inclinations hidden , it was still strange to hear. "Oh." Remi said again, his lashes fluttering as he looked down uncertainly. "I...I do not see why not. You might find it terrible, having to retell me things about yourself." The alchemist added with a soft laugh, settling slightly. REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — "Well..." Would telling him about the temple be the story that broke all of it? Would it be the step too far? Sam didn't know, but he had to tell Remi once he'd asked; it was his own history after all and he deserved to hear it. "We um...we were st-staying in the temple, for Longnight. In the b-blankets, you know. And um..we st-started being intimate then you...ah..." While he didn't have the same problems as Remi, Sam still found it difficult to speak openly about sex. He cleared his throat and tried to get through it as quickly as possible: "You..p-pushed me..against the wa-wall, and used your claws and h-had wings and...it was...I..." He didn't get into his review, but it was clear from his smile that it had been something he'd enjoyed. "As long as y-you'll listen, I don't mind. D-don't break my cups, though." Sam joked, relieved that Remi had said yes. If there was still even a fraction of connection, there was hope. — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.

As Sam trailed off, Remi waited with baited breath. He what? What Sam said next made colour flush into the alchemist's cheeks as he looked at the floor, lashes fluttering over a wide and surprised stare. Remi had been with women who liked to be handled a shade or two rougher than would have been expected, but he'd never particularly enjoyed it. Well, that was because he'd never particularly enjoyed them. Hazarding another quick glance at Sam, Remi's brows furrowed slightly as he pulled his eyes away. The man sitting before him was...well. Remi knew the sorts of men who often invaded his dreams at night, and the lithe and short bookmaker would not normally have been among them. And yet rather than in dreams, Remi apparently had had Sam in reality. Rubbing distractedly at his collarbones, Remi hummed a note under his breath, still trying to take it all in. As Sam mentioned the cup, Remi laughed with relief. "Ahh, well.." Standing Remi gently cupped his hands around the cloth holding the broken shards. As he lifted them, the teacup reassembled itself easily, though there was a piece missing. Perhaps it was still on the floor somewhere, or had been shattered into dust. "Sorry about that." He said, level ling a grin at Sam over his shoulder as he placed the cup back down. REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Remi merely seemed embarrassed at the story of their intimacy in the temple, and Sam could hardly blame him for that: he was embarrassed of it too, as much as he had enjoyed it. As it always had been, Remi's magic was impressive, and Sam clapped his hands together as he watched the teacup reconstruct itself. He noticed the missing piece, thought it an apt metaphor for something he didn't quite know how to formulate in his mind, then took it into his hands. "You are...s-so skilled." It seemed that now that the initial story telling and awkwardness had passed, it was a little easier. He could marvel at Remi's magic, chat about other things. They were still awkward, new, a distance apart that he could physically feel, but... Sam looked at Remi. Across from him he looked so handsome, so sweet, everything he'd wanted yet a new person altogether. They'd taken a step forward. — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.

Careful not to let their fingers touch, though perhaps less so than before, Remi smiled slightly as Sam took the cup. He did feel bad about having broken it, especially given the revelations that had followed, but at least he could fix it. Mostly, at least. He too had seen the missing piece. "Is there anything else? About ..." Remi swallowed. ..us that I should know about?" REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Sam considered the question, played with it in his mind. Really the answer was yes, that there were moments and conversations and nights he hadn't mentioned, that it had all been so much and he couldn't fit it into one afternoon, but... "No, I d-don't...think so. If I...think of an-anything else, I'll tell you. But...I t-told you most of it. Most of...us." He was honestly a little tired of explaining right now, of relaying information that they had both known well only a few days ago. That, and he feared Remi might have a nervous breakdown if he found out any more. — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.

Inhaling deeply, the alchemist nodded. "And..I mean ... I suppose this must feel like a break up for you." Then, realizing something with a cold dawning horror, Remi glanced up sharply. It..it was a breakup, right? Or...were they still dating? Remi didn't mean to look as uncomfortable as he likely did, but this realization was perhaps the most surprising of all. It was one thing to know that he'd done things in the past that now he couldn't fathom ... presumably he'd consented. Looking at Sam, he couldn't imagine the bookmaker could ever overpower him, ascended or not. There must have been something about him that Remi had wanted, perhaps even loved. But that had been a different man, or so it felt. But now they were talking about this Remi. The current one. Was that Remi currently dating Sam? REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Well. Sam certainly hadn't thought about it that way until Remi said it. His eyes immediately threatened to fill with tears and he looked down to suddenly appear very interested in his teacup. "Um...I...I-I guess." He mumbled noncommittally, his hands visibly shaking in the way the tea in the cup wobbled and rippled. He hadn't wanted to put a name on what they were, not yet, had been content to exist in the maybe-almost space they'd been in before. To be so suddenly and easily informed that this had to feel like a break up...it was like hitting a brick wall. "...I..um...I s-suppose we've said..everything then. S...so I have um..w-work to do, so.." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.

Remi cleared his throat apologetically as he watched the way Sam's hands had begun to tremble. The man's eyes trained down on his cup, the alchemist took a moment to study his neighbour's face; the copper and gold beard, the shockingly pale lashes over bright blue eyes, the constellations of freckles, and the lips that were now pulled into a tight line. "I am sorry Samuel, I did not mean for that to —" He began to say, glancing at Sam's shoulder and hand, wondering if he should reach across and touch? hold? squeeze? but his thoughts were interrupted by a rather blunt and abrupt suggestion that he leave. "Oh." Remi said, feeling the surprise want to bristle at this quick dismissal. But of course the alchemist's congenial nature took over, and he merely nodded with a small smile. "I will just...see myself out then. Thank you for the tea." Remi said, standing and swallowing awkwardly as he looked down at Sam. Doing just as he said, Remi descended the stairs and gently opened and closed the door behind him. Walking to his shop Remi felt a strange sort of absence in his stomach. He felt as though he ought to feel bad about what just occurred, but of course the emotions weren't there to support it. Still, for the rest of the afternoon he'd replay the conversation which had taken place, wondering if he should have done or said something different. ~FIN REMI So come on, get higher, loosen my lips, faith and desire and the swing of your hips Just pull me down hard and drown me in love