All That Glitters

The feeling of Sam's hands on his arms was a strange sort of over-stimulation, despite what had just occurred. Heart thundering loudly in his ears, the bookmaker's words sounded far away and distant, and it took Remi a few seconds for his mind to parse the buzzing of the ascended's lips into something he could understand. "Sorry, yes." He breathed at last, eyes raising to gaze into Sam's. His gaze was vague, partially confused but for conflicting reasons. Calm down? Remi wanted to laugh and insist that what he needed wasn't to calm down, until he felt the tightness in the front of his pants and the way the blood still pounded in his ears. Running his thumb between his eyes, the alchemist sighed. So apparently he did need to calm down. Embarrassment and shame added to the crimson tint on his cheeks, both glad and not that Sam had let his arms go. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Sam politely did not look down at Remi's pants, for he knew exactly what was happening already (because well. It was happening to him too). After a few moments had passed for Remi to breathe and get himself together, Sam stepped back and held out his arms, ready to transform back into the hawk form. He felt the desire himself, the want to just leap forward and be with Remi but...no. There were things to do and boundaries in place, and he was going to respect them. Ready when you are. He flew up to the top of the tree by them, looking over the shifting maze. He was really quite glad he didn't have to try and navigate it on foot, though if Remi would feel a deep sorrow and regret through their link for the whole situation. It felt unfair to both of them and he knew he was likely toeing the line badly, pushing this all the wrong ways; but how could he know? Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

They kept missing each other, it seemed. If Sam had returned Remi's gaze and then moved forward to kiss him, the alchemist would have let him. He...might have wanted it to, over and above the feelings coursing through him. Or perhaps it was because of the feelings, but ... in that moment he didn't know if it mattered. In a memory he no longer possessed, that's what had happened the first time as well. He'd been overcome and had given in and something had just started... and as Sam looked away, Remi felt that strange emptiness that came from missing something you never had. Once again Remi watched Sam transform, feeling someone protective and prideful of the man in the hawk's body. Perhaps it was because the magic came from him, or perhaps it was just the similarity of the form. Ready. Remi thought with a nod. Taking a small breath, he trotted forwards a few steps and lunged easily into the air. Within seconds he was airborne, flying high above the maze and back towards the settlement. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Sam followed up after Remi, glancing back at the Labyrinth one last time before flying away from it. He marvelled at how well the Attuned magic worked, that he would still have the cube in his pocket afterwards even though he couldn't feel it at all in this form. Was Remi always in awe of his own power? Sam couldn't comprehend being so special. Thank you. He said as they flew over dark fields, the moon shining light off of Remi's feathers in a way that made them look like low stars. I know this wasn't easy. I didn't...think about everything involved. I've never been here before. But this meant a lot to me. Letting Remi know he was appreciated felt important to Sam, when he knew Remi felt guilt for not being the man he had known before. If there is anything you need for me to help with, you need only ask. I do hope you know that. He was admittedly less useful, more talented in artistic and leisure skills and not so much in survival or magic, but...if it was in his ability, he would do anything for Remi. Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Remi's emotions were a confusing tangle of longing and loss, confusion and curiosity as they flew. It was a web that grew all the more intricate and tangled the more that the alchemist tried to follow any one particular string, and so he merely gave up, allowing himself to be bound by it. Of course. Remi replied easily, the words sifting silently across into Sam's mind accompanied by a genuine pulse of altruism. He listened to what Sam had to say, nodding his head slightly as they flew. New territory for us both, then Remi replied with a mental laugh, trying to infuse some humour back into the situation rather than the rapidly rising tension that never had a chance to unwind. I will keep that in mind. Remi said, though through their bond Sam would get a sense of what it was he didn't say. That the bookmaker would have to remind him of who he was and what he could do...since Remi no longer knew any of it anymore. Come on, try this— Remi thought with a sudden trill. Beating his wings and angling his body upwards, he climbed swiftly towards the stars. Then, without warning, he pinned his wings against his body and dove straight for the ground. It hurtled towards him at shocking speed, his keen eyes catching every detail. Had he been a man, tears would have formed making it impossible to see, but his hooded avian eyes had no such limitations. With a cry of pure delight, Remi unfurled his wings, the air catching beneath them and easily allowing him to rebound into the sky once more. Joy and easy delight whispered out from Remi's mind, as he enjoyed the simplicity of flight. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Indeed. Sam replied with a laugh in return, glad that Remi wasn't so hurt that he couldn't put some humour in this. Maybe it was laughing in the face of the darkness that was about to consume them, but he would take any moment of relief he could grasp. He got a sense of uncertainty from Remi but wasn't sure what it was about; surely he had picked up knowledge of his skills from the fact Sam owned a bookstore right next to his own store? It wasn't as if he had a wealth of other talents. He took the doubt as Remi being unwilling to ask him for anything yet and did not comment on it, hoped it would change as they got to know each other again. Try wha- Sam stopped as he saw Remi surging up then striking down, felt the rush of joy and pushed past his initial fear to try it as well. He flew up (though not quite as high as Remi had) then soared down, amazed at the ability to go so quickly and still be in control, still know he could stop himself; he spread out his wings to catch himself and immediately went into a loop, the sudden burst of giddy freedom making him laugh and whoop through their bond. You never taught me that before. He told Remi, the glee obvious even in his silent voice. Have you been hiding other tricks? Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Remi laughed happily in return, feeling the thrill as it rushed through Sam's mind. Didn't I? He asked with a thoughtful hum and mental shrug. What a boring boyfriend I must have been. He added with another laugh. Perhaps I was. Remi replied gliding higher. Had he been hiding these sorts of tricks from Sam? That didn't seem like him, but then again all the things he'd learned about himself did not seem like him either. Come, try this. Remi called. He flew up and down for a moment apparently searching for something. Having found it, the alchemist settled into an easy glide having found a warm and buoyant thermal. The best way to describe it would have like floating in the dead sea. Weightless though they were, this would only enhance the feeling, making the birds feel like they were simply part of the air rather than gliding through it. You can fly for hours if you find a thermal. Remi said with a happy spark in his voice. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

We didn't have many chances to go flying, I suppose. Sam said, feeling some need to defend his boyfriend to his boyfriend. (Or whatever Remi was to him now). Still, it seemed some of Remi's familiarity with flying came along with the shift, because only after a few flights he was comfortable in the air; not even the sight of the ground far below him unnerved him, something he would have greatly doubted if he had been merely told it. Remi suggested they try something else so Sam followed, unsure what it is they were trying to find until suddenly he was weightless, floating along the air as if he belonged there. It was bliss, so calm and easy with the man he loved next to him; Sam couldn't help the happiness and relief pouring from his heart. As long as they could enjoy each other's company, there was hope. Did you learn all of this yourself? He asked, tilting just a little closer to Remi in the air. Or did someone teach you? It's incredible to be able to control a human and a bird form. Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Ah. That seems like a shame .. flying has always been one of my favourite pastimes. Remi replied sounding a little sad, as if he was disappointed in his past self for not sharing this more with Sam. The emotions flowing from the ascended made the alchemist feel awkward, but he was also just a little warm and fuzzy too. For once it felt like that which was coming from Sam was something pure and without any sort of agenda. Just happiness at being with the alchemist, which was something that Remi had never known before. To feel it so purely was ... not unwelcome. My father was a shifter as well. Remi replied with a gentle hum. So I did have some guidance. My best friend growing up was an avian shifter as well. She was a good deal smaller than I. I owe most of my dexterity to trying to keep up to her. He added with a warm laugh, thinking fondly of Martha and the years that they had together. Most of it comes naturally though, as I am sure you feel. Remi replied, his flight feathers shuffling automatically to keep his trajectory stable. I would not say I control them, so much as merely exist in them. Especially as a lion I rarely feel in control. It is why I find that form so dangerous, though I am getting better. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Sam could feel Remi's awkwardness but also something else, something small yet warm and promising; the evening was turning from one he would regret to one he would remember well he felt. He flew easily as he listened to Remi, adjusting his wings as if he knew the instructions the wind was giving him. I see. He had known about Remi's father but not the best friend; it felt good to still be learning new things about Remi despite their new gap in knowledge of each other. I do seem to know what to do, but I thought that was more your influence than any kind of natural knowledge. Sam really had no idea what it was like to be an Attuned. Did you learn from birth how to walk and move, like you did as a human? Or was the ability innate? Well...I've seen you as a lion or...sometimes partially a lion, and you've never hurt me. There was something close to pride in his tone, but this was mostly meant to comfort. He knew Remi felt uncomfortable with his lion shift, had struggled with it before; but Sam had been impressed by his ability to still protect in it and to turn back to himself. Perhaps you should have more faith in yourself. Your other two shifts are hardly dangerous beasts, after all. The raccoon is very sweet, and easy to carry. Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Remi chuckled warmly in Sam's mind. There was a boyish ease in it that probably had not always been there, not with the Remi Sam knew anyways. Though Loren and Ianto had changed him in many ways for the better, Loren's influence had darkened the alchemist's bright outlook in ways he would previously say were irreversible. And yet here he was with the nonchalant lightheartedness that once he'd been known for. No, I do not think I can take any credit. There are plenty of things I could show you though. He offered almost hesitantly, unsure what sorts of things the pair had done together before. Would midnight flights seem entirely mundane compared to what and who he had been? Oh? Remi hummed, a note of curiosity wafting through, wondering what it meant that he'd not hurt Sam. It was a good thing of course, but a strange one. Remi had hurt both Vai and Ronin, two people he cared about most in the world. But that Sam had been around him in his deadliest shift and escaped unscathed? What did it mean? Well I am glad for that. Chuckling, the alchemist sent a mental shrug Sam's way as he glided slightly lower. Thermals were not perfectly straight after all. Hawks can be quite dangerous I will have you know. Remi said with feigned defensiveness, before breaking out in a mental smile. Easy to carry, you say? He only remembered being carried by Ronin and Vai so far .. but of course that hardly meant anything. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

There are? Sam said, so obviously trying to mask the innuendo that came to mind. Well, anything you have to teach, I'd love to know. And that was actually true. He was so thrilled to be flying, to be doing anything with Remi...anything to prolong this easy fun was something he was interested in. Remi seemed surprised he had not hurt Sam, but Sam supposed he hadn't mentioned the bear that was taking up his attention. Well...it was a little complicated. But we were attacked, and you transformed...and I bit you so I could too. The memory drew painful feelings of sadness and regret for how he'd handled some parts of the night, which he knew would be able to feel over the link no matter how much he tried to hide it. He laughed at Remi's reminder about hawks. Well, you've always been very gentle with me. Teaching me how to fly, talking like this... He wished he had a better, happier story about how he'd carried Remi (carrying a raccoon did not sound like something that should be a tragedy). Well...after we were attacked, I carried you. As a raccoon, to Isla. To get help. You were very hurt but...cute, too. Sweet little face. Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness

Remi hadn't meant his comment sexually, but feeling Sam's reaction to it, he couldn't help but mentally blush. Have we ever hunted like this before? The hawk mentally wondered, a hint of a suggestion hidden in his voice. You bit me as a human, while I was a lion? Remi recapped, sounding surprised and a little impressed. That sounds very brave..as well as unwise. He added with another burst of amusement through their bond. Listening, Remi nodded thoughtfully. Well it is nice to know that some things do not change. He said, with regards to be gentle. It was something he did normally strive towards, and with memories of faces shoved against walls and arms around throats gone from his mind, he could hardly imagine being different in any way. There had been that one time...that memory was certainly still there. Shivering at the dark remembrance, Remi tried to clear his thoughts. Strange. I remember it so differently. I suppose I owe you another thank you then. The hawk added with a warm mental nudge. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

No, but we've done plenty of other things. Sam replied with just the same level of slight suggestion, his voice surprisingly able to be flirty when it didn't come stuttered and mumbled. That Remi was returning his jokes with such sudden ease had to be a good sign, he thought; maybe there was something about the night sky and air that made it all simpler. He supposed it had been unwise to bite Remi with so little protection, but at the time it had seemed like there simply wasn't any other choice. It was what I had to do. And you didn't hurt me, so it worked out. Beside...I am not often wise. A matching burst of amusement followed. You don't need to thank me. I would do it again. I would always try to save you, Remi. He promised, sending waves of warmth through their connection. The other man was gentle, and talented, and kind, and...he remembered why he had fallen in love in the first place, why he was still in love now. Even with the change in Remi, there was a core of a person in there that he knew he could be happy with. Sam twirled in the air, enjoying the ease of flying like this. Besides...do you know what you did in the hospital room? I suppose you don't. But we gave Phoebe quite the shock. He felt secure enough with their jokes and flirts so far to bring this up now, a soft affection in his tone. Samuel At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought that love was a kind of emptiness And at least I understood then the hunger I felt And I didn't have to call it loneliness