Snow and Ashes

It still felt weird to be out during LongNight.

For most of Tal's young life the fatal cold of Deepfrost had made it dangerous to travel even within the Citadel, and during LongNight the constant dark made it even worse. Only the recent advent of Frey's blessing and the shield over the city made it possible, but tradition held much of the populace safely within their own homes even now and the streets were eerily empty as the courier trudged over the snow-laden streets.

His goggles allowed him to see at least a short distance around him; enough to note the landmarks he'd grown up with and read the corner signs when he drew close enough, without need to risk a torch.

Boreal paced beside him and he felt the slight pressure that came from her looking through his eyes; borrowing his sight the way he sometimes borrowed hers. She was a welcome wall of warmth against his thigh and hip (a separate weight shifted against his other side) as they made their way to a house he'd asked directions to before the sun had set for the last time of the year.

There was a final hesitation as he raised his hand to knock on the door; the knowledge that it wasn't too late to turn back. But...

With a silent, internal grumble he rapped his gloved knuckles on the wood, calling out gruffly. "Sah? It's me. Are y'there?"

Sah

Lilly's ears perked up just as Sah registered footsteps on his porch. He carefully detangled himself from the blanket fort nest that was his bed before silently moving down the hall. Pausing for a brief moment to check on the twins in their own nest, he then made his way down the stairs and to the front door.

Lilly followed closely and once she relaxed and relayed the identity of the visitor, Sah did too. The Abandoned opened the front door and raised a tired brow at the courier. "What brings you here so late..." Scrambling for a second he vaguely recalled the one instance where Deimos had called the man by name., "...Talyson?"

Even as he spoke, the Abandoned opened the door and gestured for the other man to enter. It was Longnight after all. Far too dangerous a time to remain outside in the dark and cold for long.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

Okay, it was weird hearing Sah say his name instead of one of the stupid nicknames he'd gotten used to, and Tal scowled worriedly behind his scarf. "Had to get away from my sisters for a bit," he mumbled as he passed the threshold. Part of the truth, if not all of it.

Boreal sniffed at Lily's nose in greeting and gave a wag of her serpentine tail, but instead of following her bonded inside she flopped down across the lintel outside it, to guard the house against the dark.

The courier, once the door was closed, shook the snow off himself in the entryway and peered at Sah as he took his hat off and began unwinding his scarf. "You uh. I mean, lately it's like..." Tal's nose wrinkled as he awkwardly looked down at his boots. "Um. So. I brought vodka. If you wanted to talk," he finished in a gruff rush, fiddling with the catches on his parka but not quite undoing them yet as he snuck a glance at the other man, trying to gauge whether or not he was about to get kicked back out into the cold.

Sah

Sah raised a brow at Tal's words and demeanor. His lips twitched slightly at the clear awkwardness, though his expression overall remained subdued. Nonetheless, the Abandoned reached out and accepted the vodka.

"Thanks. We can talk in my office." He eyed the stairs for a moment before adding, "Don't want to wake the pups." He led the way past the kitchen where he grabbed glasses, and through a door into a cozy study. He took a seat at a table, and gestured for Tal to do the same, pouring them both a glass.

Once they were both situated, Sah took a sip of his drink before sighing and easily slipping into the diplomatic tone of his position, "I hadn't realized that my behavior lately had caused such concern. I apologize for that. But I have no intention of letting it get in the way of my responsibilities if that's what you're worried about."

The courier had made jabs at Sah's position and qualifications before after all. Surely that was what had driven him here at this hour?

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

Tal glanced up cautiously when he realized 'thanks' meant that he could stay. He hesitated a moment more, waiting for Sah to change his mind, then shrugged out of his parka and left it on the hook at the door. Scuffing out of his boots, he followed Sah on thickly-stockinged feet upstairs, glancing around covertly (more or less) in curiosity at the other man's house.

Tal sat gingerly at the offered seat, perching uncomfortably on the edge of it as he took his glass and toyed with it between his fingers before tossing it back with a sharp nod to himself.

The timing was unfortunate.

Sah's words caught up with the vodka halfway down and the courier spluttered and coughed, waving off the other man's apology as he tried to muffle the sound for the sake of the 'pups' - kids? Dogs? - which only made things worse until he could get his breath back.

"Fuck, Sah, is that why you think I'm here?" Tal glared across the desk, red in the face and scowling from embarrassment. "You really think I'd be worried about that?"

Sah

Sah huffed out a quiet laugh at Tal's less than graceful moment. But the glare and indignant answer caught him completely off guard. He tilted his head in genuine confusion, "If not for that then why else..?" The realization began to dawn on him and Sah paused.

"Wait... are you actually worried about me?" That seemed like both the most and least likely cause for the courier's presence tonight. Sah blinked, processing the realization. "I thought you didn't like me. At least... not enough to check on me." He eyed Tal with baffled confusion as he took another sip of his drink.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

Sah's laughter seemed to have a direct influence on how deep Tal's scowl was, and as the courier caught his breath he glared at the vodka jug as if it was to blame. It was, at least, better than glaring at Sah, since he was making an effort not to make life harder for the Advisor--

--Though at the moment he couldn't remember why.

"I don't!" Tal protested automatically. It was very convincing, given that he'd braved the dark of LongNight and brought vodka besides. It was something of a miracle that the vodka jug didn't spontaneously ignite from the ferocity of his glower at it. "I just, uh..." A furtive glance around in search for inspiration found success and he looked up again to meet Sah's eyes for a moment before his gaze slid away once more.

"I was worried about Lilly. Y-- She's seemed really down lately."

All that time with only dogs for company on the trail hadn't done his poker face many favors.

Sah

As Tal spoke, Sah found himself softening. He took a sip of his drink and once the courier fell quiet, he murmured a quiet but earnest, "Thank you." He truly hadn't expected this level of care from the other man, and it was rather humbling.

Still to save the courier what little dignity he had, Sah pushed on, letting his companion act as a cover. "Lilly is ok. Just... grieving." The Abandoned sighed as he braced himself, "When I came to Caido, a family in Snowcloak took me in as one of their own. Their daughter Aino, became the older sister I never had."  

Sah's voice cracked on her name as he continued, "Aino, was Cordelia's cousin, making Cordelia my adopted cousin." The Abandoned's grip on his glass tightened, "And earlier this season, Aino was determined to go hunting despite it being Deepfrost. I tried to talk her out of it."  He shook his head, "But I couldn't. So, I decided to go with her and back her up."

"We were almost home, practically on the edge of the barrier. But a white dragon came out of nowhere. I tried." Sah gritted his teeth as he spoke, "I tried to stop it. To at least get her body back. But it was too powerful." He shook his head as he glared at the table, "She died. Cordelia blames me. Rightfully."  

Sah let out another shaky exhale, throwing back the rest of his drink with shaking fingers. The grief and shame were hard to swallow and seemed to always be at the corners of his mind lately. He'd failed Aino and she'd been murdered in the process.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

Tal mumbled something wordless at the gratitude, but his scowl eased a little. He reached for the vodka jug to pour himself another shot as Sah began to speak but his hand jerked a little at the mention of Aino's name. He was too much a native of Halo to spill a drop, but the liquid sloshed perilously close to the rim before he steadied it. The courier swallowed hard, glancing briefly up as the other man's voice cracked and then away again to grant Sah what dignity he could.

He didn't interrupt, just sipped the cold, fiery liquid slowly and let the Advisor talk, getting it all out. A grimace creased his brow at the white dragon's appearance; a little twitch of guilt and memory. After Sah finished he reached over to pour the other glass full again.

'Well. Fuck," he said quietly. "I can see why you-- she-- you all are... yeah." He sat back and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, frowning down at the same spot on the desk that Sah was.

"When I met Delia she was makin' a lantern for Aino." The words spilled out abruptly; uncertain whether or not he should be sharing, but he needed to say something to fill the silence. "For th'Festival. Said she'd been missing a year and thought she was already... yeah. Anyways. She blamed herself for Aino disappearin' back then. An' while we were talkin' about her a white dragon flew over the Citadel..." He swallowed a larger sip of vodka than he'd intended and his eyes burned as he tried not to cough on it.

"I... look. I'm just sayin'... maybe there's nothing anyone could have done. If all the demigods on Caido had been there it might not have been enough to save her." Not the best comfort, but Tal was new at this and he was trying his best.

Sah

Sah listened silently as Tal spoke, shaking his head at the end. "Maybe. But..." He growled under his breath, bringing a hand up and letting his lightning run across his fingers "What's the fucking point of power if it's useless when you need it the most?" The lighting sparked with his rising ire before fading.

He'd trained so hard. Poured his time and effort into regaining at least a fraction of the power he'd lost in coming to Caido. And yet he'd been powerless against the white dragon. Frustrating, devastating, maddening. None of those words could even begin to describe the emotions that ran through him every time he thought about it.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

The glass rolled slowly between Tal's fingers, candlelight sparking from the clear liquid within and filling it with false fire to match the vodka's heat. He watched the play of lightning over Sah's fingers over the rim before lifting it to his lips once more and taking a slow, measured sip at the other man's snarled words.

"Dunno," he spoke with quiet bluntness. "Never had any myself." He tossed back the rest of the glass and let it burn its way down his throat before he sighed. "There's always a bigger fish, though, innit there? No matter how much power you get, there's always gonna be somethin' or someone stronger. An' some of them have big fuckin' teeth." He set the glass down on the table with a focused precision that was, perhaps, just a little excessive as the alcohol began to hit his system. "Maybe right now there's a lot of someones and somethings like that."

Then pale eyes rose to meet Sah's with a frank challenge. "So what are you gonna do about it?"

Sah

Sah sighed, shaking his head once more at Tal's words, "That's not what I meant. Not all power is magic. Influence, alliances, grit. Those are all forms of power that can be earned and trained for such situations. My magic just happens to be my strongest asset."

The Abandoned turned calculating eyes on the courier, "Yours is your resilience and having Halo behind you, from what I can tell." Tal was scrappy, a survivor. Even knowing him for only a brief time, that was clear. And Halo protected what was hers. The strength of one was the strength of all, and all that jazz.

Falling silent, Sah took another sip of his drink mind whirling. "There certainly are." His grip tightened on his glass, a small crack appearing at the rim. A fact that he couldn't avoid, only prepare for.

Tal's challenge is met with a feral grin, "What I always do. Train, grow. And when the opportunity arises and I'm capable of it, kill all that threatens what's mine." His pack, his friends, his home including all of Halo. And yes, including the man sitting across from him.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?

For once, Tal just listened, letting the vodka sink a mellow heat into his bones. He snorted at Sah's words, but it was a quiet, comfortable sound, without his usual vehemence. He started to open his mouth but Sah's gaze landed on him and the words that came out left the courier speechless.

His jaw closed a few seconds later with a sharp click of stunned teeth and he leaned forward to pour himself another shot as thoughts whirled and tumbled in confusion. Sitting back, he was just in time to catch Sah's sharp grin, and Tal blinked in surprise at the bloodthirstiness there.

But then his own grin stretched, slow and not a little feral all its own, and he raised his glass in a toast. "That's the spirit," he agreed, leaning forward to clink rims before nursing a sip. His head was growing pleasantly fuzzy but, hail, even in the Dark Boreal could get him home if she had to.

His grin relaxed, becoming smug as he swirled his drink, watching Sah like a dog with ningo feathers on its muzzle. "Now, back to those nice things you were sayin' about me..."

Sah

Although Sah hadn't been intending to render Tal speechless, the sight of the courier snapping his jaw shut in shock was enough to pull a small snort of laughter from him. Reaching out to join the offered toast, Sah nodded. "Damn right it is." Maybe it was a little bloodthirsty of him, but there wasn't any harm in that. Well... harm to the important individuals that was.

Tal's smug words had Sah rolling his eyes. The Abandoned leaned back with a tilted head, "What in the world are you talking about?" He pretended to suddenly remember, "Oh! You mean when I said that you were a scrappy cockroach?" Those fuckers were nearly impossible to kill. So, it practically meant the same thing.

The Abandoned let those words settle for a second before adding with a chuckle, "In all seriousness though. Don't underestimate yourself."

Sah sighed and met Tal's eyes, "And thank you. Truly." He gestured to the table and nearly vanished alcohol. The words were absent of any mockery or trickery. The Outlander truly appreciated the lengths that the courier had gone to tonight.

I think there for I am,
But what if all I do is bleed?