Jude
come on, come dance with me
It's true that she dims like a sunset gone by too fast, and Jude feels as if it's entirely his fault. But he can see her hurting, and he thinks if he can just reach her...well, nobody had ever tried to make him talk about his own abandonment, and the ocean holds his secrets as it does everyone else's, but it doesn't make up for the ache of thoughts with nowhere to go but circles in his own head. Maybe he can fix that for her.
He turns a little pink at her involuntary compliment, and she does the same though he can't figure why. "Thanks. It's just hard not knowing...easy to blame yourself, right?" And maybe that's just a guess, but Edmund has felt much the same recently. Jude thinks maybe that's the hardest weight kids have to carry, wondering what they could have done so wrong to make the people around them leave.
It's worse to know her parents had been lost even before her mentor and adoptive parent, and Jude - empathetic, soft-hearted boy he is - can't help how his chest tightens with grief on her behalf. So as her eyes well up and she looks away, he tries to muster up as much bravery as he can to reach for her hand to hold it gently. "I'm sorry Soh," he murmurs, his own eyes a little damp. "I'm sure you did your best, and they probably knew that too. They taught you everything, right? Like a parent. So they must've known it wasn't your fault." Because he can see it in her like a terrible mirror, this idea that hangs around their necks, whispering horrible things in ears that no longer have a loving voice to soothe those worries away. "It's okay to be sad. Sometimes we fight it too hard, but my dad says it only makes it worse to keep it in." Harper had ensured that Jude always felt comfortable being able to cry, to express his emotions, and the way Sohalia tries to hide her own tears makes him think maybe she needs to hear it too.
He turns a little pink at her involuntary compliment, and she does the same though he can't figure why. "Thanks. It's just hard not knowing...easy to blame yourself, right?" And maybe that's just a guess, but Edmund has felt much the same recently. Jude thinks maybe that's the hardest weight kids have to carry, wondering what they could have done so wrong to make the people around them leave.
It's worse to know her parents had been lost even before her mentor and adoptive parent, and Jude - empathetic, soft-hearted boy he is - can't help how his chest tightens with grief on her behalf. So as her eyes well up and she looks away, he tries to muster up as much bravery as he can to reach for her hand to hold it gently. "I'm sorry Soh," he murmurs, his own eyes a little damp. "I'm sure you did your best, and they probably knew that too. They taught you everything, right? Like a parent. So they must've known it wasn't your fault." Because he can see it in her like a terrible mirror, this idea that hangs around their necks, whispering horrible things in ears that no longer have a loving voice to soothe those worries away. "It's okay to be sad. Sometimes we fight it too hard, but my dad says it only makes it worse to keep it in." Harper had ensured that Jude always felt comfortable being able to cry, to express his emotions, and the way Sohalia tries to hide her own tears makes him think maybe she needs to hear it too.
the earth is spinning, we can't just stand
