Jude
come on, come dance with me
His cheeks turn a little pink as she snuggles closer, but the close contact feels so nice that even Jude's embarrassment couldn't pry him from her side. "See? I think that's how it's supposed to be. If I died, I'd want my family to move on and be happy again, but I would understand if they had a hard time too." Seeing all the death from the war had only reinforced that for Jude. So many homes had been broken in the aftermath, and even before he'd aged up he had often ruminated on how death could cause hurt so far and wide it couldn't be outrun.
Seeing that she takes the grass readily, Jude reaches back down to pluck some for himself, chewing it readily and enjoying the sweet vanilla-noted taste it brought to his tongue. He laughs quietly and lays his cheek back on the top of her head. "Yeah, he's pretty great. Both my moms too, but my dad makes sure we talk about pretty much everything." It had led to a closeness between the two that Jude would never trade for the world. And though what he has to say about his maman has therefore already been said before, he still hesitates. But it would be unfair not to share after she had been so brave, and he finds the intimidation is not enough to keep him silent.
"My mom disappeared right after I was born. She was in a magic garden where time didn't seem to move - and my dad was left to raise me all alone for a while. But his best friend was my maman, and she was the Queen of Torchline, so she had him move in with her to help raise me." There is a clear reverence to his tone at the title because Jude could never imagine holding such a public and important position. "My mom came back, but it had been a year already and my dad and maman were together by then. It was a big mess, and my mom left to live in the Greatwood. And I remember being at Frey's shrine when I was really young, wishing I was able to talk to them, to tell them how I felt - and then suddenly, I could." It's a bit more backstory than she likely expected, but Jude doesn't know how else to lead into this story, convoluted as it is. "None of them were very happy about it. But Maman had a son before me and Dad, and he'd done it too so she had more experience with it. It was nice, so we spent a lot more time together. I mean, obviously we already lived together, but she started teaching me more of her childhood language and stuff since I could learn it better." He'd taken to it eagerly, ecstatic to share in that small, secret part of her world. Just the two of them.
"But...then my brother became an Ancient and ran away for a few seasons, and I was constantly back and forth between Torchline and the Greatwood so my mom could see me too, and I didn't have any friends." Which is horrifically embarrassing to admit now that he realizes too late that he has said it out loud, so he hurries onward. "So I spent a lot of time with my parents. She taught me to bake - she's a great baker! And we would sing songs together on the porch, and she'd let me help her with Torchline business sometimes - like paperwork and helping citizens." Looking back he hadn't been much help as a ten year old, but it had meant the world to him at the time. "And we had this secret hidden cave that my dad had taken her to when I was a baby, a really special place where we would go swimming. The ceiling was full of rocks that looked like stars..." he realizes that suddenly he is crying and feels horrified that they are surely falling onto Sohalia's hair, but he can't seem to stop. His shoulders shake slightly, and the hand that holds hers tightens desperately. "But she was so worried about my brother, and she'd been hurt real bad in the war and was having nightmares. So she stopped being Queen and went on a lot of journeys trying to find my brother. And then one day she found him, and he came home...but she didn't." Lifting his free hand, he scrubs roughly at his face, glad Sohalia can't see him from where they're sitting practically intertwined.
"And my brother moved out, and then things became so hard for my dad that I just...went to Frey again. To try and look for her on my own and make things easier for my mom and dad." And while he doesn't regret it, he'd broken his mom's heart at the same time. There was never an outcome that didn't hurt somebody, and Jude had been selfish enough to try and make that person be anybody but himself. He scrubs his eyes again. "Sorry...I guess that was more about me than about her. She is - was - really warm, and kind. Strong. She always had the prettiest perfumes to wear, and she loved Safrin so much she used to take me with her to visit as a baby. And I just...miss her. So much."
Seeing that she takes the grass readily, Jude reaches back down to pluck some for himself, chewing it readily and enjoying the sweet vanilla-noted taste it brought to his tongue. He laughs quietly and lays his cheek back on the top of her head. "Yeah, he's pretty great. Both my moms too, but my dad makes sure we talk about pretty much everything." It had led to a closeness between the two that Jude would never trade for the world. And though what he has to say about his maman has therefore already been said before, he still hesitates. But it would be unfair not to share after she had been so brave, and he finds the intimidation is not enough to keep him silent.
"My mom disappeared right after I was born. She was in a magic garden where time didn't seem to move - and my dad was left to raise me all alone for a while. But his best friend was my maman, and she was the Queen of Torchline, so she had him move in with her to help raise me." There is a clear reverence to his tone at the title because Jude could never imagine holding such a public and important position. "My mom came back, but it had been a year already and my dad and maman were together by then. It was a big mess, and my mom left to live in the Greatwood. And I remember being at Frey's shrine when I was really young, wishing I was able to talk to them, to tell them how I felt - and then suddenly, I could." It's a bit more backstory than she likely expected, but Jude doesn't know how else to lead into this story, convoluted as it is. "None of them were very happy about it. But Maman had a son before me and Dad, and he'd done it too so she had more experience with it. It was nice, so we spent a lot more time together. I mean, obviously we already lived together, but she started teaching me more of her childhood language and stuff since I could learn it better." He'd taken to it eagerly, ecstatic to share in that small, secret part of her world. Just the two of them.
"But...then my brother became an Ancient and ran away for a few seasons, and I was constantly back and forth between Torchline and the Greatwood so my mom could see me too, and I didn't have any friends." Which is horrifically embarrassing to admit now that he realizes too late that he has said it out loud, so he hurries onward. "So I spent a lot of time with my parents. She taught me to bake - she's a great baker! And we would sing songs together on the porch, and she'd let me help her with Torchline business sometimes - like paperwork and helping citizens." Looking back he hadn't been much help as a ten year old, but it had meant the world to him at the time. "And we had this secret hidden cave that my dad had taken her to when I was a baby, a really special place where we would go swimming. The ceiling was full of rocks that looked like stars..." he realizes that suddenly he is crying and feels horrified that they are surely falling onto Sohalia's hair, but he can't seem to stop. His shoulders shake slightly, and the hand that holds hers tightens desperately. "But she was so worried about my brother, and she'd been hurt real bad in the war and was having nightmares. So she stopped being Queen and went on a lot of journeys trying to find my brother. And then one day she found him, and he came home...but she didn't." Lifting his free hand, he scrubs roughly at his face, glad Sohalia can't see him from where they're sitting practically intertwined.
"And my brother moved out, and then things became so hard for my dad that I just...went to Frey again. To try and look for her on my own and make things easier for my mom and dad." And while he doesn't regret it, he'd broken his mom's heart at the same time. There was never an outcome that didn't hurt somebody, and Jude had been selfish enough to try and make that person be anybody but himself. He scrubs his eyes again. "Sorry...I guess that was more about me than about her. She is - was - really warm, and kind. Strong. She always had the prettiest perfumes to wear, and she loved Safrin so much she used to take me with her to visit as a baby. And I just...miss her. So much."
the earth is spinning, we can't just stand
