a candle's fire

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — The Bone Bridge was a good place to be alone, Rexanna thought as she leaned against the side of it – staring deep down into the fog and remembering that time that Alistair and her had jumped off the side, to fall below and revel in the fact that they were still alive. She wondered where he was, and what had happened to him over Longnight – sending up a silent prayer to all those gods who might have listened that he would be safe. But so much had changed since then, new friendships and sudden rivals, she wasn’t sure where that had left her. And then there was the slight issue with Bastien – his disregard for the gods and becoming Ascended and suddenly she began to wonder if she was falling for him. And how that might complicate things if Alistair ever returned. She had never made anything official with Alistair, nor with Bastien, but the kindness they both had showed her had her almost feeling guilty of not trying to find the man with the dark curls before – who had been there when she still bore her brand. She sighed into the chilled morning air, tucking her arms tight around her as she stared into the distance. Despite everything that Bastien had done, for whatever opinions others held about him, she appreciated him. And perhaps there was a spark of something else beneath it all that she wasn’t ready to face just yet, a sudden almost too soon feeling. It was… Hard for her to deal with, on top of the entire situation with the Naturals verses the Outlanders. And how they were supposed to deal with that when it seemed like the Naturals had made it quite clear where the Outlanders had stood. Perhaps it was best to remain with Outlanders for the time being, or to remain by herself. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe was walking.

Not anywhere. There was no destination. She was just walking. Aimlessly. Her cheeks were stained from tears, eyes red and puffy, watching the ground in front of her blankly. She wasn't certain how long she had been walking for, or where she was really. Frankly, she didn't care. The farm boy and the midwife, sounds like a storybook... A sad one it turned out. A horrible, ugly, ill-conceived one where she ended up alone and hurting and wishing she could go back to the day in the market and force herself to just keep walking. Don't look at the stall, don't talk to the handsome boy there. Just keep your eyes forward and keep moving.

But she couldn't. Everything had gone so quickly, built up in passion and destroyed in the shadows of Long Night, the embers snuffed out by the weight of forces neither really had a hand in.

She hesitated, her feet coming to a halt by an unfamiliar surface. Her brows furrowed and she looked up in confusion. A...bridge? She had heard of the Bone Bridge but never come out to it. And...someone was there? Her eyes squinted a bit to see who it was. "Rex?" she called out, realizing who it was.

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — She had eventually said yes to Bastien, to being his girlfriend in a turn of events that she couldn’t quite understand. But she was happy for it, even if the pressure of everything around them was growing. It was frustrating, and while she had someone to confide to and understand that the Outlanders weren’t all bad people, there was still a part of her that needed to speak with the Naturals, mostly Rory who for the time being held all of her anger. She directed it to him, for causing such upset and reasonings to which she didn’t understand. Rexanna was a diplomatic person, and she would choose words over fighting any day. But it seemed they were beyond that. Huffing into the fog, she heard a small sound but didn’t turn to look. She didn’t think she was ready to see who might be looming around the bone bridge. At first she had thought it’d be Archebold, a man that had possibly the worst timing appearances of all history. But when she heard her name fall from a familiar tone, a familiar octave, she turned to look with a bit of surprise crossing her face as her sapphire gaze focused on Phoebe. “Phoebe!” She said as she recognized her friend, turning from the side of the bridge to look at her a bit closer. “I, uh, came here to scream out my frustrations to the void. You’re welcome to join me? You look like you could use it.” She offered, turning back to the side of the bone bridge and looking down. She had noticed the puffiness of Phoebes eyes yet again, and wondered what had happened this time. But she waited a few moments before she asked. “Is it Emmett? Again?” She questioned eventually, glancing toward Phoebe for a moment. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe hurried over when Rex called back, as if being summoned. She wiped at her eyes and managed to give her a small smile as she got close. "Scream your frustrations? What's wrong?" she asked her in concern, glancing over the edge of the bridge. The site made her shudder. Heights. Not her favorite that's for certain.

But Rex mentioned she looked like she could use it and she sighed, looking down at her hands. Yeah. She probably did look like it. "I...yes. I probably do." she said with a small but sad smile. Of course, Rex guessed it. Right away. If only she could be as smart as her. Her brows furrowed and she glanced back over at her. "Y-yeah...he uhm....he...broke things off...because I'm an Outlander and he just...he just can't deal with me." Tears rose again in her eyes to say it.

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — She shook her head for a moment as a grimace formed over her face – a gesture of which nobody had probably ever seen her sport before. But she wasn’t ready to say what the problem was until Phoebe spoke of her own troubles. So she tilted her head in Phoebe’s direction to listen to her. Yes, Phoebe didn’t look happy. And it pained her to see her friend upset over Emmett yet again. As Phoebe explained what had caused the rift, she grimaced further and her eyes narrowed on the clouds below the bridge, obscuring the ground below. The ground she had touched once upon a time. She sighed and raised a hand to press to her forehead and shook her head. “That’s precisely my problem too.” She responded, an unusual kind of bite to her voice. It was something that honestly pissed her off. So Rory had been upset and caused countless things to happen. A fight between people, even if he hadn’t meant it. She could understand his frustrations, but to blame and cause so much to happen around him (the destruction of relationships and friendships) was just another check to mark on her long list of topics to chat with him about. A frown found her face but it edged something close to a sneer. “I get why he might have been upset, but to do what he’s done is so destructive for so many.” She paused, speaking of Rory though it might seem like she said it about Emmett. Both could apply, she guessed. “So he’s following Rory’s example of making enemies of Outlanders then?” She questioned, leaning against the bridge as she turned to look at Phoebe. “Rory had to have known what he was causing when he targeted me at the gathering. You and I and so many other Outlanders had nothing to do with that, yet we’re pegged as aggressors.” She huffed in a kind of mock laugh. “They can’t actually believe that the shit that happens in here is better than what might be out there. At least there’s more space.” She paused in her ranting and looked back to Phoebe with a more focused, narrowed look to her indigo gaze. “I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m sorry that he’s too narrow minded that he can’t see a person for a person with their own minds and ideas instead of a label.” She said, and she meant it. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe looked concerned as Rex said that she had the same issue. She had been broken up with? She...had been with someone to be broken up with? But her questions were stilled as Rexanna continued to speak. Ah. The Outlander thing. Her eyes fell to the ground with a frown. She asked if he was following Rory's example and she nodded with a sniffle, rubbing her eyes.

"That's just it though...he was never like this before. He didn't think there was any reason to act like we were any different." she said with a frown, looking back over at Rex. The woman might be physically smaller than her but she seemed like a giant with her strength of personality. "But he chimed in when Rory yelled, saying Outlanders are all disrespectful and dumb...he didn't realize I had shown up and I called him out on it...and he just got more mad."

Her lips pressed together, holding back tears for a moment. "If I just kept my mouth shut maybe he wouldn't have stopped wanting me." she said quietly.

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — She nodded to Phoebe as she spoke of Emmett not being like that before. It caused Rexanna to feel some kind of roiling anger, boiling in her veins. “I always knew where we stood, but it’s become a bit more evident.” She sighed, but the sharpness of her voice still remained. She looked at Phoebe then, meeting eyes with the girl – having to look up to Phoebe due to the height, and yet Phoebe still seemed so young to her. Rexanna’s own love story hadn’t ended well, but she had always hoped that others had to have those fairytale romances she had heard about, that the people back home and said about her and the Asciend Prince. Perhaps fairytales weren’t true. But Phoebe continued, and Rexanna nodded along with her. A small sigh passing through her lips as she shook her head – her dark hair sweeping over her shoulders, and if Phoebe looked closely she’d notice the dark bruising on her neck and the unmistakable markings of a bite. Her head remained away from Phoebe then, until she spoke further and Rex’s own head snapped back toward her friend with a sharp fiery look in her dark hued eyes. “No. Don’t ever apologize for that, Phoebe. If you had, would you still want to be with him even knowing how he felt? Walking around on eggshells because you’re not wanted there?” After all, Rexanna had experience. She had come in from a rival country, swept away the Prince that the high houses had fought for year after year. And he hadn’t even wanted her either. Her gaze was sharp still as it remained on Phoebe. “Never hide how you feel, what upsets you. It just comes back later to bite you in the ass, trust me.” She almost growled. “There’s someone better out there for you. Someone that you don’t have to be afraid of saying the wrong things to, and who will love you regardless.” She said eventually, that sharpness dying down as she surprisingly thought of Bastien. But she glanced back to Phoebe with a small apologetic smile that almost looked more like a wolf’s grin. “If anything, a boy like that – one that can be influenced so easily, is a child compared to you.” She offered with a small shrug, finding a small rock of debris in the cracks of the bone bridge and tossed it over the edge to watch it be swallowed by the fog. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe sighed and looked at the ground between her feet. She supposed it was true. It was hardly the first time she had seen or experienced tension between herself and Naturals. It had just never been so…palpable. She had hoped it would dissipate with time but it was just getting worse.

She glanced back over at her friend and her eyes widened in horror. ”Oh my goodness, Rex!!” she said in alarm, eyes trained on the bruise. ”What happened to you? Are you okay? Did one of them attack you??” she said worriedly, pointing to the mark at her neck. Had things really gotten that bad already?! Were they really attacking harmless and defenseless people like Rexanna? Was she next?

But soon enough Rexanna’s ire was turned on her. Well…not on her but around her. She bit her lip at the question, shrugging a bit sheepishly. ”I-I don’t know. I…it’s hard because…I think I love him…” she mumbled, looking away pitifully. She had never said it out loud. She had hardly thought it to herself. But…her heart hurt so terribly that she could only conclude that was why his rejection made her feel as she did. And as far as things coming back to bite her later? Well…she had said how she felt this time and it had bit her immediately. It didn’t seem she could win either way.

But saying there was someone better out there for her hit a raw nerve even Phoebe hadn’t fully realized was there. ”You know, everyone always says that. There is someone one there for you…where. Where are they?” she said, her cheeks puffing up a bit as she became decidedly irritated. ”We are in a fishbowl with the same smallish group of people every day! Whoever this magical someone is shouldn’t be that hard to find! And now, now its even less likely because I just so happen to be an Outlander and they all hate me!” she huffed, hands balling into fists at her sides. ”I am starting to think people just say that because accepting the reality that there just isn’t some magical someone out there just waiting to be found is too painful to admit! But as she did admit it she deflated, cheeks and all, shrinking in on herself as she looked at the ground with teary eyes. Maybe...that was just it. Maybe some people had a special person for them...and she just wasn't one of those people. Suddenly it all seemed so clear, and she felt foolish for chasing what she wasn't intended to have. She wasn't losing Emmett, because she was never intended to have him. After a moment she spoke again, much more quietly. ”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t yell at you like that.”

”Yeah…he is a child.” she mumbled in agreeance.

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — At first, Rexanna couldn’t remember what had happened when Phoebe spoke in alarm. Her eyes shifted to her friend to see where Phoebe was looking, and for a moment her hand raised to her neck and felt the tender bruising along the side before she shook her head and looked back over the side of the bridge. “No, no. Nobody attacked me. I was bit by… An Ascended. But I had asked him to.” She offered in a way of explanation, uncertain if she knew Bastien was still alive and despite it all, refusing to bring him up when they both were in the worst of moods. But Phoebe continued to speak of Emmett, of how she loved him, and a small frown crossed over Rexanna’s face, a hand reaching up to brush through her dark hair. And it seemed, after Rexanna had spoken of others out there, that Phoebe didn’t seem to take it the right way, the reasonable way. She looked to Phoebe then, letting her express her anger at her – despite Rexanna’s own lips forming a tight line. “More and more people keep falling in all the time. And it takes time, Phoebe. Nobody figures it out right away. I’ve loved many in my life, but none of them have been right so far.” She paused, nodding to her apology nevertheless. “I loved a boy when I was a servant, he and I had spoke of growing old together, of saving enough money we found discarded in the royals rooms and being able to leave our homes together. I loved my husband at first, when I was told I was to become a queen of all things and thought perhaps it would work.” She paused, her eyes shifting over Phoebe once again before looking back over the bridge. “Love hurts and wounds, but when you get it right, when things are right it’s worth it. But gods it takes time, the only ones that figure it out right away are blessed.” She said, turning to Phoebe briefly. “I think I’ve fallen in love twice since being here, the first man I was afraid to get close to because of everything. And I haven’t seen him since. And now… Now it’s so fresh and new that I can’t – I’m afraid to say the words out loud. Afraid for it to be gone after it’s come so soon.” She almost muttered, realizing how terrifying the word sounded leaving her lips. Uncertain if she’d rather hide away than utter the phrase. “But you have to wait and see where it goes. You can be angry and upset, but if he’s being such a shitty person to you about this entire thing, who’s to say when it’s over he doesn’t find something else to be upset about? If the barrier falls, who’s to say there aren’t other people out there?” She questioned Phoebe, leaning along the edge of the bridge on her elbow. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe stared at Rexanna like she lost her mind – because frankly, it sounded like she had. She asked an ascended to bite her? Why? Especially so hard that it looked like that after (she was not about to judge a kink but that looked like way more than a kink)??

But Rex had moved the subject back to her before she could ask, and the blonde looked at her feet again. She was obviously being chastised but at least she wasn’t being yelled at. Her brow furrowed and she glanced over at Rex curiously – a queen? – but the topic was better left to another time. And then the topic seemed to quickly spiral into tales of Rexanna’s own love woes and Phoebe looked over at her sadly. ”Is…is it the ascended you asked to bite you?” she asked, thinking that certainly the two had to coincide, even if she still didn’t understand the reason for it.

But as it stood, Phoebe wasn’t ready yet to admit that perhaps there was someone else. Even if the bubble came down, even if more people showed up…maybe she was wantable but not enough to be relationship wantable. ”You’re right. Who’s to say all of that…but who’s to say that any of it will happen either?” she said, looking back at Rex sadly. There was uncertainty there, it was an unknown. ”It would just…I just…I wish I had one thing I knew wasn’t uncertain.” she said quietly. She had thought that was Emmett and she had been wrong. He was just another uncertainty, and Rex talking about him didn’t make that any better.

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — When Phoebe spoke next, and she asked if it was the Ascended, Rexanna chewed on her lip for a moment before a rare and surprisingly awkward smile tilted the corners of her lips. “Yeah.” She said almost quietly, the fire of before vanishing without a smoke trail. “I… I’m not sure, it’s so new and fresh and he had asked to talk to me and I was terrified he’d say that he loved me.” She trailed off a bit. “But he didn’t say it… just asked me to be his girlfriend and well… I said yes. To… Try I suppose.” She felt as though she was rambling now, but she glanced to Phoebe with an almost vulnerable gleam in her sapphire gaze. “Everything before that I had was for survival. Even my marriage was arranged. This is… different. But he’s never really done anything like it either so I suppose there’s a good middle ground to start.” She offered, shrugging her shoulders as she turned to look at Phoebe a bit more full on, the vulnerability in her eyes shifting to a bit of sorrow. “I’m sorry I snapped.” She said quietly, reaching out with a hand to pull Phoebe into a small hug if she’d let her. “I know Phoebe.” She murmured. A few moments passed before she inhaled deeply and smiled awkwardly yet again. “I think we all need to figure things out. Hopefully when the dust settles things will be better. But all we can do right now is hope.” and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

She saw the look that came over her friend, the look in her eyes, the curve of her lips…and despite her own sadness she couldn’t help but smile a little. At least someone was happy and finding love here, even if it wasn’t her; that alone was worth cherishing. Phoebe listened quietly as Rex rambled, managing to laugh a little when she noted it herself. ”It’s okay to ramble, I’ve rambled at you plenty of times.” Meaning almost every time she saw her. Apparently she just had the sort of personality that made her feel comfortable opening up.

”I’m really glad you’re happy, Rex. You deserve it.” she said in earnest with a small smile.

She tried to apologize and the blonde just shook her head. She wasn’t upset with her and she knew Rex had the best of intentions. And…maybe she needed to hear it. ”You didn’t yell at me.” she said with a sad laugh. That’s really all that would have set her off; being yelled at. A firm tone and talking to she could handle any day. She willingly let herself be pulled into a hug, suddenly feeling waterworks building up again as she hugged her. A few sniffles in quick succession would give away that she was crying.

”I hope you’re right…” she said quietly, her cheek pressed against Rexanna’s shoulder. After a moment, her curiosity got the better of her. ”Why did you want him to bite you?”

REXANNA they say that war is hell, but true hell begins when the battle ends — She nodded when Phoebe laughed and spoke, her smile rising slightly with the idea that at least things had gone well enough that Phoebe could joke with her still. “Rambling is good for the soul.” She added, with her own quiet breathy laugh too. But she looked to Phoebe when she smiled and said she deserved it, and despite everything Frey had told her she still didn’t really feel like she did. She felt like she deserved to flounder around the world, experiencing everything and yet nothing at the same time. But she was changing and growing, and perhaps she did need to forget everything that had happened before. It wasn’t like she could go back to fix any of it, anyway. She pulled Phoebe into the hug and held her tight while she cried, her cheek pressed against Rex’s shoulder despite the height difference. Rexanna’s hand rested gently along her back, soothing her friend by rubbing her hand back and forth. But Phoebe spoke again, and after a moment of silence asked why she wanted Bastien to bite her. Suddenly, Rexanna felt a bit lucky that they were still hugging, finding her cheeks burning bright before she laughed perhaps a bit awkwardly. “Well…” She paused, trying to figure out how to explain it. “It’s a great feeling, really. He had just been newly Ascended, and I had been bitten before by Archebold. He didn’t know what it was like and so I offered so he could experience it too.” She explained before actually explaining what it felt like. She pulled away from Phoebe then, giving her another awkward smile. “When it happens it’s just… Well.” She coughed for a moment before leaning in to whisper to Phoebe. “One of the best orgasms I’ve ever had.” She leaned back away and laughed, looking to see how Phoebe would react. and you're the only one who's hands drip red. the real war rages in your heart; it always has.

Phoebe

I've been very hopeful so far
Now for the first time I think we're going wrong
Hurry up and tell me this is all a dream
Or could we start again, please?

Phoebe appreciated the comfort and clung to her almost desperately. The height difference didn’t matter terribly much, she was very used to being taller that most female friends anyways…and some male ones on occasion. She didn’t cry for long though, trying to put aside her sad emotions. Rexanna was in a good place after all, and it wasn’t fair to drag her down.

The idea that being bitten like that could be pleasant was mind-boggling to the blonde. Biting hurt didn’t it? The mark it left sure made it look like that. But her brow did furrow a bit. She wasn’t sure who Archebold was, but it didn’t sound like anyone she wanted to meet…or whoever it was Rex was now seeing. ”He didn’t…do that without your permission…did he?” she asked in concern, not sure if that would qualify as an assault or rape…or would it be both? But if it bothered Rex she moved on from it quickly enough and the next description of what it felt like had Phoebe’s entire face turning beet red.

”O-o-oh!” she stuttered, freezing in place in total shock. It felt like that? And…good grief what a description! U-uh….” she was struggling to find something to say now, feeling horribly awkward. ”Y-you know you haven’t…uhm…told me what ah…what Mr. Bitey’s name is…”