Shining Trinkets of Grief

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

Though neither of them is leaning into the Attuned bond, she is relaxed enough to skim the surprise off the top of it. She only belatedly realizes that aside from aggressive posturing and occasional use of the bond that - since she had become a hybrid after they'd fallen apart - of course he hasn't had a chance to experience something this simple.

She is honest enough with herself to admit that when he stands to order their food her chest hurts like it's caving in. She feels cold without his touch, the reassurance of his presence, like this is merely another concocted dream she will soon wake from into an empty bed. Waiting is an exercise in torturous patience, though the comforter has a few more holes from her clawed fingertips by time the door reopens. It feels ridiculous but she relaxes immediately, gold irises bleeding back to their normal mismatched shade the moment he reenters the room and smiles at her.

Standing, Hotaru makes pleased noises as she investigates the food the closer she moves, taking the coffee from his hands so they aren't so full. Clearly in agreement with his plan as she moves back to the open balcony door, she takes a sip of the lighter colored mug without even thinking about it - knowing it's hers with a surety that comes thoughtlessly - and is grateful she is facing the ocean when realization hits her at the same time as the drink hits her tongue. Setting the coffee on the other side of the table, she sits gracefully in her own seat and cradles the mug with both hands, smiling slightly. "Coffee in Halo is so much worse, I forgot how good it could taste." Though it seems strange for the region they are far more inclined to tea given how easily it stores and brews. The coffee in Halo is far closer to blackened sludge than espresso. Eyeing his pancakes with some dredged up measure of playfulness that doesn't feel insincere, Ru quirks a small smirk at him. "So, how are we splitting this?"

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

He doesn’t know the effect he’s having with his absence, and if he did all he could offer would be complete assurances that he wasn’t going to go anywhere this time. At least, his presence does that when he returns with all the goodies, not noticing the holes that have been poked through, but only barely noticing the shift of her gaze from gold back into her dual toned eyes. She stands and takes the coffee and he lets her lead the way, following her with the platter out into the sea salt breeze, letting the sun coat his skin and make his freckles pop, letting the steel of his eyes almost become white as he takes the seat opposite of her and takes a sip from his less sweet cup (evidenced by the way hers is a few shades lighter than his, at least).

He hums a laugh before he takes a sip, exhaling a sigh and offering a playful wince as he agrees. “I had coffee once in Halo and decided I was never doing that again.” He admits, shuddering as if it were a memory he didn’t want to relive (one of the easier ones these days). He sets the coffee down and turns to separate out the plates, lifting his gaze to meet hers with that crooked smile that tugs on the scar tissue along his cheek. “Depends on how many pancakes you want.” He retorts with a surprising amount of ease, already slipping a chocolate croissant onto her plate, along with an egg, before he rests his chin on his propped up fist, the tattooed compasses with their northern points aimed right at her like she's his northern star, awaiting to see what she wanted to eat.

But he waits patiently, wanting to make sure she’s served first before he delves into whatever’s left.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

It feels good to laugh over something so small and insignificant as bad coffee, and even better to hear his. Though her concern for him had never abated after their meeting on the beach after the war's conclusion, seeing how broken he still is had definitely deepened it. Hotaru may not be anything close to healed either, but it's clear one of them has had a better support system to see them through the dark nights. "If I ever decide to close the spa or the Academy, I should make it a point to open a...what do you think a coffee producer is called? A beanery?" She muffles her chuckle into her cup, because the sudden blank where a word should be amuses her more than it should.

He serves her first, and it warms her heart enough to set her mug down as she considers her answer. "Just one I think. Have to keep a good figure while I'm in Torchline - it's the only time I can show it off." Even with the Academy's blessing and the Citadel's bubble there would be no bikini-wearing in Halo's streets. Which is admittedly a bit of a shame, it would likely look rather artistic with her golden skin and hair in that backdrop of white. Distracted now, Ru pulls herself back in by focusing on the eggs first. Though - sneakily, like she's hoping to pretend it's not happening if she does it while she's eating - her free hand slides across the table to take his hand while she eats.

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

It’s like a fresh breath of air, having this moment to not have to delve into anything too dark and complicated, able to simply sit there and enjoy each other’s presence — something that Sunjata finds to be lacking these days, through no fault of anyone else’s but his own. Isla offers it the best she can, but there’s a part of him that remains closed off to her, a door blocked that he refuses to open to anyone but those that were there before he’d built it in the first place.

He does laugh again, a low rumbling chuckle at her forgetting a word, and he starts to serve her breakfast when he responds. “I want to say it’s a brewery. But a beanery would stand out.” Stand out in the way that he’s sure nobody in Halo would really know the terms for it given how awful the coffee there was to begin with. But he keeps those thoughts to himself.

He slips one pancake onto her plate and offers the syrup, before sitting back and cradles his mug in a hand, wanting to take a sip before he continues to serve himself. “I doubt you’ll gain anything for the time you’re here. You’ll be too busy running around.” He winks to her, sliding a pancake onto his plate, pausing for a moment as her hand takes his and he laces his fingers with hers, giving her a small squeeze.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

She sweeps his correction away with a wave of her hand, all golden hair and rolling eyes, mirth hiding in the corners of her mouth. "Oh, pish. Brewery sounds like alcohol, there has to be something better to call it. I don't want any misconceptions about my future business." A business they both know she doesn't have enough hands for right now, but such was the humor of envisioning it.

In direct contrast to her claims of watching her figure, Hotaru summarily drowns her single pancake in syrup like she's trying to actively kill it. Her sweet tooth is incorrigible and maple syrup is a weakness of hers - though in contrast, Halovian maple syrup is far better than Torchline's, which she notices the moment she takes a bite. Squeezing his hand gently back, she licks the remnant sweetness of her lips and laughs slightly. "You're not wrong. Last night was more exciting than my past...three? Four years?" They have both perhaps grown a bit boring what with their war and grief and humanity. "Though I wonder if I'm cut out for it anymore." Another small admission, like a trust exercise. It had felt as natural as breathing until the night was over and she was left windswept and wondering if maybe her solitude had robbed her of all of her shine.

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

Her rolling eyes now have a soft chuckle leaving Sunjata, his hand wrapped in hers as he sets the pancake down in front of her and watches as she goes to take her first bite. “You just call it a brewery and put some elegant coffee cup on it.” He says simply, though he knows it isn’t that simple. “Or maybe Halo will just assume we’re now drinking out of coffee mugs.” A soft snort leaves him as he starts to take a bite of his own, steel gaze lifting to meet her face again when she squeezes his hand, distracted momentarily by the way she licks the rogue maple syrup from her lips.

He nods his agreement, letting her finish as he takes a few more bites in the interim, swallowing it down with a sip of the coffee again. “Me too.” He admits before he offers her a crooked smile from the scar on his face. “I have become old and exhausted and need recovery time.” He tilts his head slightly, using his free hand to point at the speckling of grey in his hair, before he picks up his fork again. “I should be good for at least the month.” He tacks on belatedly, taking another small bite and giving her yet another gentle squeeze. Though if she looks at him, she'll see the way it has worn on him in the new fresh wrinkles around his eyes, the heavy bags that remain under his eyes that seem permanent, and the speckling grey through the dark brown waves of his hair - having not yet touched his stubble just yet.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

She notices when his eyes linger, and is proud when she merely tilts her lips in a smile when she does. There is a solid, warm comfort in her stomach that is at odds with the brush of butterfly wings or the twist of heat that the past may have once held for her. It's a nice change though. Steadier. More mature. "You're not thinking big enough Jata," she tsks instead, keeping the mild dramatics going given they've rewarded her with plentiful small chuckles and smiles from him already, "it has to make a splash. Enticing people in through misunderstanding is a low bar." And when has Ru ever done anything by halves? She points her fork at him like a war general at their table, eyes crinkled with mirth that betrays her feigned gravity. "We'll call it The Beanery and start offering samples in the Citadel and outside of the bars to steal their customers away. Direct action." The use of the word 'we' comes naturally, and she doesn't overthink it. It's all fantasy anyway, right?

Intensity ebbing away into a smile that is more sincere when lacking theatrics, but therefore smaller, Ru rubs her thumb against his knuckles. "The grey makes you distinguished." Nothing to mourn or bemoan. She can tell it has weighed on him though, this singular night, and vainly hopes this quiet breakfast can make up for it. "Besides, there are plenty of incorrigible youth to take our places if we retire in our prime. Who says we have to wait?" They've done their part, why not sit back and watch someone else's life implode for once? But humor aside, she can relate. Though age has not touched her in the same way - still beautifully untouched, unscarred even - the years are apparent in her mismatched gaze. "We can make our own rules now. Beholden to nobody but ourselves." She pauses and gives him a wry, apologetic smile. "Well...and Frey." Such was his fate as a demigod.

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

“Is that so?” He challenges playfully, watching her as she continues on with the mild dramatics, smirking when she points at him with the fork which brings an amused chuckle from him once more. “Ah, yes. Though I imagine it wouldn’t be difficult to lure away from the bars regardless. I managed to do it with the Kraai, remember? You just have to offer something that isn’t sludge or water.” A playful wink from those greyed eyes are offered her way before the conversation shifts into more simple, gentle topics.

As for looking distinguished, he swallows down another bite before snorting, lifting his gaze from his plate. “It would be nice to see it from afar.” Sunjata isn’t ashamed to admit that when it came to drama regarding literally anyone else other than himself, he was relatively invested, thriving for any little bit of gossip, provided it didn’t effect those closest to him. It’s something he doesn’t admit aloud right now, though, tilting his head slightly as his fingers extend lightly to run along the fine bones of her wrist.

“Luckily, Frey has no intention of being like Safrin.” A relief that’s evident in the smile that remains on his face – that in the years since becoming their demigod, he thinks it’s quite possibly the best choice he’s ever made. “And for that I am eternally grateful to be able to live my life how I choose.” He’s never had the chance to, up until this point. It’s no wonder he seems lost and aimless without something world shattering to guide him.

But it’s simple, and he imagines it could be comfortable, if given the right notions to grow. But in an effort to lighten the mood, he does shake his head and make a dramatic shiver, one that has his fingers tightening slightly where they press against her wrist. “And I certainly don’t miss her sticky fingers in everything.”

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

She deflates a little, playfully so, and her fork sags back towards her pancakes in defeat. "I didn't want to say it but you're right. Their palates are so simple it wouldn't be so much of a takeover - more of a certifiable success." Which means even the fantasy of it holds little interest anymore. Hotaru doesn't mind that though; she has gotten what she wanted. A plethora of smiles and throaty chuckles, a bit of life that brightens his eyes and lightens the lines in his face. Maybe it is not exactly her who did it, merely her presence or the distraction of the moment, but she will pretend that it is and not examine why it makes her feel so satisfied.

Smiling softly, she twirls the tines of her fork idly in the syrup, watching the shades of gold and brown shift in the sunlight on the patio. "If you ever desire to hear simple, easy gossip, I'm happy to share it. Gods know little enough happens in Halo that it's practically a currency of its own now." Already her ear has become tuned to the gossip of Torchline in her days here, but given the recent shift in power it is likely a little too close to home for Sunjata. Halovian gossip was far simpler as of late. As his fingers dance up the inside of her wrist and smooth along the fine bones there, a small shiver dances up her arm and shakes the words right out of her. "For example my spa manager is sleeping with her brother's wife." Voice going quiet but insistent in the way gossip was best shared, a glint of mischief in her eyes to finally tell somebody who was not at risk of ruining the secret and taking away the fun Hotaru has in watching it all play out so close at hand.

Talk of Frey is easy, but Safrin's name always makes her fingers twist with emotion. Between them in particular it can be hard to hear given how the goddess had precipitated their downfall, but Hotaru merely focuses on the herald they both share. "I am glad they're so good to you. And for you." A heartfelt murmur as she picks at her eggs, smiling down at her plate for the privacy it provides her emotions. Not that it lasts long - his own dramatics and the squeeze around her wrist bring her eyes back up to his like a magnet to true North, smile already helplessly forming on her lips. "Exactly. Clearly you chose the better herald - I can attest." Winking comes natural, easy even. Hotaru doesn't have nearly the relationship with Frey that he does, but she will use it to humorous effect that they are both devoted to the same god now. On the same side again at last. The profoundness of that settles like a stone in her stomach, a weight she isn't sure how she feels about, so she merely sets her fork down and tries to drown it in the taste of her coffee.

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

He watches her deflate, Sunjata’s lips remaining quirked up — knowing her well enough to know that it’s all in the name of dramatics that she does so. “Hey, a win is a win, is it not?” He asks, tilting his head and flashing her that traditionally Sunjata roguish smirk. One that remains even so as he mentions his attention to gossip so long as he isn’t involved, his smirk twitching up to hear her tell him the tea.

His dramatics remain full in effect as she explains what’s going on back in Halo, and a soft little gasp leaves him despite the smirk still tugging on his scarred lips. “No.” He says in that airy, playful way, his words dripping heavier with his accent.

His smirk smooths out with his hand on her wrist, running along her pulse as he speaks, finding some solace in her words if sharing the sentiment that yes, they’ve made it to the point now where they can no longer have to worry, where he can sit at a side that isn’t challenged, might not end in heartache again. And so he takes a few more bites of his breakfast, cleaning his plate, before sitting back slightly to return his hand back into her palm.

“You mentioned Frey tasks for Halo. What have they asked of you?” He asks, sipping from his coffee.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

Whatever response lies on the tip of her tongue withers and dies as he shoots her that roguish grin. It's like something straight out of one of her memories, or perhaps more recently one of her dreams. It makes it nearly impossible to think or breathe or - or not show that she's having difficulty doing exactly that. Instead, she can only join in belatedly to his amusement over the secret she has shared. Her cheeks betray her by taking on a light shade of rose as she is struck like a bird from the sky by the arrow of his smile. "Yes. Her poor brother has no clue, given he's not exactly the brightest man and is often away on long hunts. I would pity him, but he's a dullard with little reverence for his wife." Leaning halfway across the table - and nearly at risk of getting syrup on her blouse - Ru's eyes practically glitter with the excitement of sharing this with him. "It's what she complains about the most at the spa; he never treats her anymore, barely reciprocates during sex, and forgets birthdays and anniversaries frequently." All things Hotaru would support leaving him for but clearly the woman had chosen infidelity instead. Expression turning mischievous and nearly downright salacious, Ru giggles, "I suppose his sister believed she could provide better." And Hotaru has been eagerly awaiting the day it all comes to light.

Hoping by now her pulse has returned to normal after having been so dazzled by the life she sees in him, Ru turns her forearm slightly to help precipitate the way his hand slides back into hers and settles there, familiar even after all this time. The type to be easily distracted away from food, Hotaru has to remind herself to eat once she notices he has finished and crosses her ankles comfortably below the table - brushing up against his leg with her bare calf in a companionable measure of closeness. "We had them create hot springs in the Fangs, and now we're working on making the waters restorative." More interesting than a fountain if she says so herself. "It has involved a lot of magical purifying of the waters and collecting herbs on my own part. As well as a large party traveling through the regions collecting various plants as well, poor sods." She had distinctly not volunteered for that given how long the expedition had taken and did not regret that at all.

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

Oh he spots the pink as it blooms in her cheeks, some darkened part of him brightening at it, drawn to it as if it were the light out of the dark tunnel he’s found himself in. And with it, he watches, keeps that smile, listens as she spins the tale for him to essentially devour all while watching her with so much more light in him that he hadn’t thought it could be possible after the disasters of the past years.

He’s still broken bits and pieces, hanging on by threads, but at this moment the sharp edges seem to hurt a little less.

Her eyes glitter and his own brighten in response, shaking his head with soft little tsks in agreement that there’s little pity to be found. As for the sister imagining that she could do better? He huffs an amused sound out of his lips and nods. “You will have to let me know how it ends.” Like a story still being written out; Sunjata’s already awaiting the next chapter.

He sits back, though, relaxing and growing softer, and when her leg brushes against his as she does it in return he wonders if she can see the way the tension in his shoulders loosen, in how he hasn’t needed to work his jaw since they’d gotten breakfast, how much brighter he seems. Perhaps he doesn’t need to, because the feeling of sunlight and air drifts from the sharply closed off attuned bond toward her.

“They don’t tend to do things small. It sounds wonderful, though.” A part of him wonders if it might have helped the disastrous trips he’d taken into Halo years ago. But realizes that none of it matters anyway.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?

'Cause sometimes we don't really notice just how good it can get
so maybe we should start all over

This kind of reconnection is all the harder when they see each other so plainly, when no secret is really secret and no reaction can be properly concealed. It means that bravery is a necessity and openness a requirement as she watches him watching her, refusing to look away to calm the fluttering in her chest lest she miss a moment of the life coming back into his eyes. She can't say she doesn't feel the same - whether it's familiarity, love that never died, or simply being near someone who understands, the weight of two years of grief feels lighter than it ever has at this little patio table.

"Of course I will," she vows, as if it isn't significant considering how newly they've struck their agreement to continue seeing one another. "Though I hate to think how long it could go on given how oblivious he is. It's almost painful to refrain from meddling." She sighs dramatically, tapping her fingers in playful restlessness against his knuckles where their fingers are intertwined.

Maybe it's how well all of this has gone - rocky start aside - but when she feels his side of the bond open up she lets herself do the same. Sunlight and air meeting snowfall and sunrise. An easy flow of emotions no matter how quietly murmured or how delicately shared. It's a collage of shapeless feelings, yes, but there is a distinct feeling of hope and contentment. The burgeoning of something most would call happiness were it not for the burdens they carry. "Oh Jata you have no idea. The springs are amazing. We had them in the Basin and I never dreamed I'd see them in Halo someday. The Climb was too far to travel for how frequently I want to be in them, and now I don't need to travel at all." If she could live in them without negative health impacts - or getting dragged out by Deimos or Tal - she simply would. But, given Sunjata is still irrevocably banned from Halo, she changes the topic with a small smile. "But the ones in the Climb are still fantastic. Have you been?"

start all over again

Hotaru

i was raised as a scorpion
being pulled by the moon in a high tide

It’s a vow for something simple, and yet Sunjata holds onto it like a promise line, at least able to use it as a means of conversation if their letters grew too dull. He doubts they will, but it’s nice to have it as a small ice breaker nonetheless. And with it, he laughs his agreement, nodding to her as she offers more of the tale, and the fact it might be a while.

He supposes he has some drama too, but none he wishes to share so soon, not with how close it is to him, and why ruin what light they’ve managed to create on this sunny patio?

Her response through the bond is also warm and inviting, regardless of how much he dislikes snow. It’s enough that he stretches his legs a little more, letting his calf brush against hers again when she speaks of the hotsprings and his lips twitch into yet another small playful smile, taking the cup to cradle it in his hand and against his chest while his other remains tangled in hers. “I imagine they’re amazing with how cold Halo gets.” He admits, head tilting slightly as he regards her, letting her warmth seep into him, letting it chase the shadows away further.

“Frey’s Breath is one of my favorite places to go.” He offers quietly, before his lips twitch into a softer smile. “Perhaps we should go together sometime?” A meet in the middle, a hotsprings he can attend. And for added benefit, he keeps the steel of his eyes on her, before he adds “Also, Ru, you can call me Sunny if you want to.” The only other people who have been able to call him that are now dead, and part of him misses it immensely; yet he distrusts himself enough to let so many call him by that nickname with how close to his chest it’s become.

the flood

that's why i'm broken, yeah,
am i a villain or a saint?