Blood-soaked Innocence

The last few months had been hellish for Edmund. It had started easily enough. All he had to do was find a unicorn, kill it, and take its blood. He'd found one and had been just about to make his move when he himself had been attacked. A man he'd never seen before had come at the young Ancient with a knife and furious eyes. Between the insults hurled his way, the young Ancient managed to get out that the man saw the murder of a unicorn as a heinous crime. Edmund refused to fail his quest and had been forced to defend himself. The man had refused to stop. And thus, the teenager killed his second man. Stricken and traumatized, Edmund had fled instead of going after the now fled unicorn. That had been the start. For the last few months, the Ancient would continue to try to track down a unicorn, only for one of the fallen man's comrades to hunt him down first or surprise him with an ambush near the herd. At times he considered calling for help or going home, but what if that brought the organization to his family's door? No, he had to deal with this alone. With frayed nerves and more blood on his hands then he ever imagined possible, Edmund found himself at the current moment. The last of the self-proclaimed defenders of unicorns fell to the ground, their life's blood on Edmund's claws. Shifting back to his Ancient form, the teen let out a shaky breath. 5 deaths by his hands. He was only 17. Gods, how was it that he'd already killed so many people? Just as he had with the other men, he took out a small jar and filled it with their blood. If they were going to get in the way of his quest, it seemed fitting to collect their blood as an offering for Mother. Side-task complete, Edmund put the blood away and stood. Running a blood-soaked hand through his hair, he turned and regarded the fallen unicorn that had sparked the last and final fight. The creature lay dead from his own knife. With all interruptions now aside, he walked over and took a knee. Pulling out a jar from the bag he'd tossed aside, he bled the beast out and collected the blood for Mother Dygra. "I'm sorry beautiful. But thank you for your sacrifice." Task complete, the Ancient paused after putting the jar away. His neglected bloodlust roared in his veins, demanding it's dues. Shifting back into his molten tiger form, Edmund gave into his instincts and enjoyed his meal. Edmund Reborn In Fire

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

Jude's life has changed in so many ways that it seems almost laughable that these patterns and habits remain through it all. After he'd asked Frey to age him he'd spent most of his time wandering the Wilds and driving his father mad with worry, constantly searching and inquiring with any settlement, traveler, or merchant he could find whether they'd spotted his mother or brother. It had taken nearly a year, but he'd found Maeve at last and returned her home. Not that it had healed any of the broken parts that now made up his family; patchwork, glued together, inevitably falling apart.

But he can't find it in himself to quit. To give up. Edmund is still out there, and Jude - no matter how busy his schedule gets - will never stop searching.

With how close the Oerwoud is to Torchline it's usually his first stop on any leg of travel. He's walked through these woods so many times it would almost be laughable for anything to come of it now. And so it is that fate must laugh in his face, cruelly ironic, because he stumbles across a massacre like an unwitting fawn right into a hunter's snare. There's blood everywhere. A massive beast is looming over a fallen unicorn, and beyond it - men. Dead men.

Jude chokes on the thick scent of iron that coats everything and stumbles backwards, long legs catching on brambles and tangling himself until he falls, catching himself on bare hands that immediately scrape and bleed as he stares horrified and unblinking at the scene before him. He has so few defenses on him, and he regrets always refusing his father's offered staff now that he's staring down a bloodied beast and a field of kills. As it is he can only frantically push with his legs to try and stand back up to run, even if he doubts he can outpace a molten tiger. He has to try. Maybe it will be distracted with its kills; either way, Jude's stomach revolts against him, thick with bile at the sight of so much death and making it hard to think past the fear.

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund's ears flicked towards the sound of approaching feet, clearly human. The wind masked the stranger's scent so the molten tiger turned his head with a snarl to warn the encroacher away. Barred fangs and a curled lip dissolved into a whine as the Ancient recognized the figure. Jude. The wind shifted and the scent of fear nearly suffocated Edmund.  Blood and fear, making his bloodlust purr with satisfaction. Yet Edmund's heart howled with grief and guilt at the look on his little brother's face. Gods, what was he supposed to do?! The few remains left of the unicorn were abandoned as the molten tiger fully turned towards the terrified young man. Sitting down, the Ancient began to nonchalantly lick the blood off of his fur and paws. A relaxed predator with no interest in the human. If he could create that illusion for Jude, maybe they could both walk away from this without heartbreak. If Jude realized who he was, Edmund truly didn't know what he would do. He couldn't lose his brother. Not like this. Edmund sent a quick prayer, Mother, please let my bag be hidden well enough.The bag of blood lay behind the unicorn where the Ancient had left it. Hopefully Jude would be too focused on the tiger to bother with it. Edmund the prince of torchline

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

Edmund need not worry about the bag, or anything about the men. Jude doesn't want to look at their broken bodies, nor take his eyes off the animal that - in his eyes - has clearly already proven it can and will attack humans. Except, against all odds, the mighty creature sits and begins to groom blood off its paws without sparing even a glance for Jude. Heart beating so hard in his chest it gives him vertigo, Jude scrambles back onto his feet and grabs onto the tree next to him to try and keep them beneath him.

He backs away slowly, though his knees threaten to buckle with every step. Keeping his arms close to diminish his size and hopefully be seen as no threat - and also to clutch at his own shirt in some half-hug meant to comfort himself just enough to not feel bowled over by the fatalistic terror he's experiencing.

Slowly, the space between them grows wider, plants and trees crowding back in to further obscure the massacre from Jude's eyes. Without the horror visibly before him he feels more sure-footed, and he backpedals faster, until the tiger's form begins to lose detail from distance.

When is far enough? When is the risk acceptable to turn his back and run?

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund purposefully kept his eyes locked onto his paws and resisted the urge to let his ears flick towards Jude's retreating form. Once the sound of footsteps dimmed, the Ancient finally let his ears turn to further judge their distance. The tiger's projected relaxation slumped into true relief as he ceased grooming. His brother was far enough away. At least, Jude was hopefully far enough away that Edmund could move. Turning, the molten tiger reached down and grabbed the fallen bag. With a flick of his tail, the Ancient began to trek in the opposite direction of his terrified brother. Perhaps it would give away that he was no mere beast, something that was potentially more dangerous. But unless Jude came to him, Edmund would leave without a word. He would never let his brother see this side of him. Never. Edmund the prince of torchline

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

He's planning on running. His legs have almost strengthened enough to do so.

But there's a curious thing that happens in terrified human minds, and in that moment Jude's happens to do it too. Something he'd seen, amidst all that blood and gore that can't seem to leave his mind's eye, clicks into place.

A keychain.

A keychain he'd know anywhere, because he'd been the one to buy it - and give it to his brother.

How can he leave without checking? How can he abandon those bloodied bodies without making sure his brother is not among those felled?

He doesn't know how he manages to walk forward. Maybe it's the fact that the tiger doesn't seem to care about him. Maybe it's belated bravery. Hell, maybe it's insanity. But as he maneuvers to the side just enough he realizes it's not just the keychain he recognizes, it's the entire bag. But of the men dead on the ground, all of them are older adults. Relief nearly bowls him over. Edmund isn't among them - so is he nearby? Hiding?

Jude can't stomach the idea of coming much closer, but he can't leave - won't leave - until he knows.

Slowly, his eyes move to the tiger walking staunchly away from him. Only to see it had stopped and picked up the bag. His brother's bag.

That's not something an animal would do.

But it's not possible, right? For so many reasons it shouldn't be possible.

And this time, staring straight at the tiger, he calls out, "Mun?"

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund heard Jude approach and the fur on the back of his neck raised in alarm. What was Jude doing?! Surely his brother had a better sense of self-preservation? The Ancient's questions were answered by a single timid word. A single heart-wrenching, blood-draining word. Oh Mother, help him. The keychain. The molten tiger froze and turned around. Shifting, Edmund stood before his brother with an agonized expression. Blood was splattered his clothes and in his hair. The hand holding his bag was stained with the red ichor. "Jude..I...little brother..." Words choked as he tried to give something, anything to make Jude understand. To make Jude not hate him. Shaking his head, Edmund took a step towards his brother, "I had to. I'm so sorry but I had to." Swallowing harshly he added quietly, "They were going to kill me." Edmund Reborn In Fire

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

For the hanging moment where the tiger pauses but nothing else happens, Jude thinks he must be insane. Doubt creeps in like shadows along the shrinking hallways of his mind. Then, familiar but still undoubtedly grotesque, animal limbs twist and shift into the figure of a human. Of a young man.

Even covered in blood and viscera that's his brother, and nothing can stop Jude from walking forward as if in a daze. Edmund's broken plea is the only thing that forces him to blink, to even consider looking away. Suddenly the bodies ripped apart in the field don't matter with his brother standing there.

Stumbling gracelessly but stubbornly closer, Jude slowly shakes his head. "Then I don't care," he admits on an agonized exhale. "If it was them or you, it has to be you. It has to - it -" but his eyes are filling up with tears against his will, and Jude is suddenly so fucking angry. Like every pent up emotion is increasing fire in a bottle that's cracking and splintering. As he gets close enough he grabs Edmund by the front of his shirt, twisting the fabric in his fists so hard they ache and tremble, and he shakes him hard.

"Where were you?!" he yells, voice already hoarse from prior fear. Shakes him again because he doesn't know how to let out this awful, blackened emotion he's so unused to feeling. "Why didn't you come home? Was it them?" One hand drops to gesture towards the dead men, but the other never loosens its grip as he stares, half-crazed and breaking down, into his brother's eyes. "You could've told me! I could have helped you!" Jude's voice is more of a shrieking scream than a roar, but it shouldn't matter how unimpressive he is, he would have done it if Edmund had just trusted him.

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund fell silent as Jude rained down his judgement. Only it's not what he expected. Even as his brother rages, all Edmund can feel is a bubbling warmth. The Ancient drops his bag and his empty, bloody, hand comes up to hold the back of his brother's head. Knocking their foreheads together, he makes no move to pry Jude's fists from his shirt. Speaking softly, Edmund tried to soothe the rage in his brother's heart. "That's exactly why. I was only planning to be gone a week, but they were onto me from the beginning. I couldn't lead them home. Not to mum, not to Harper. Not to you. You were still little when I left, remember?" Jude hadn't even been a teenager yet. The Ancient's eyes narrowed suddenly, the tiger still at the forefront as he appraised his brother with new eyes. "You're not anymore." Edmund spared a glance at the bodies before his eyes locked on his brother's once more. "Will you help me now?" The Ancient's tail flicked behind him, restless energy finding an outlet as he waited for Jude to decide. Edmund Reborn In Fire

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

Jude couldn't care less about the blood. His anger is a short-fused thing that burns brilliantly, newly exploring this unforeseen freedom it has been granted, only to fizzle out quickly. Whether that's because he's unused to sustaining it or because it's Edmund is something he'll have to discover in time. All he can do is watch the blood on Edmund's shirt transfer onto his shaking hands, and wonder where everything went so wrong.

"You could have written a letter," he hisses, wanting to praise all the Gods that his brother is here and alive but still so full of hurt and loss. It's a useless, weak defense and even Jude knows it. How could Edmund have known the person on the other end of the letter would be a young man and not a child?

Withdrawing sharply from the tender touch is the only rejection he can afford, angrily swiping away his tears so he might look his brother in the eyes without looking pitiable. "Of course I'll help you, you're my brother," he snaps, though it's weak at best. Inhaling a shuddering, wet noise, Jude runs a bloody hand through his hair without caring how the ichor immediately sticks to his curls. "We - we either have to try and hide it, or try and frame it. Hiding them will be harder." He's horrified that he can even think in the face of such brutality, but they're already dead, and he hadn't lied when he'd said that he'd rather it be them than Edmund. "If we frame it, I can say I channeled a spirit for protection to explain how we won. Or that you were defending us." Amber eyes turn to Edmund, used to following his lead even now when Jude is the one proposing the ideas, feeling out what his brother thinks is a better option. "Or we just destroy any evidence of being here and - and get started on alibis." Jude doesn't know anyone with magic that could ascertain they'd been here, but it was still a risk.

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund shook his head, "And said what?" How could he have possibly asked what he still thought was a child, for help him? His heart sank when Jude pulls away, half convinced that he'd misread his brother. But Jude proves his faith is solid and the Ancient is proud of his brother's ability to think under pressure. "We'll frame it. You've been looking for me and stumbled upon the fight. We'll say the men ambushed me for some reason. Combining my magic and your channeling, we were forced to fight for our lives." Edmund summarized before adding, "Their deaths were by inevitably by my hands in the end, even if it was self-defense." His way of protecting his brother's reputation but staying accountable. "Their reason could be that they were trying to rob me. Or that they were anti-Ancient. What do you think?" Great Mother, being able to rely on his brother and bounce ideas off of him was incredible. Edmund Reborn In Fire

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

Jude doesn't answer, because he can't. He wants to hold onto his anger, his hurt, his loneliness - but all of the right he had to those emotions feels robbed in the face of Edmund having the perfect reason for having stayed gone. So how does Jude let them go now? When he still hasn't managed to let go of those same feelings for Maeve?

Looking at the bodies is too hard, so Jude focuses on Edmund instead. Bile stings at the back of his throat from the smell of iron in the air, but he can't let it show. Can't risk Edmund thinking Jude is scared of him, or judges him for protecting himself.

"I know a Dragoon," he offers, voice sounding far-away to his own ears. "We could report it...officially." Tie up all the loose ends in a neat little bow and move on. "Say it was anti-Ancient sentiment, or so we thought." It would be reasonable for them to be scattered and confused if they'd been attacked. Still, Jude's arms come up to wrap around himself, feeling cold and adrift in his own emotions that he tries to shove down for the sake of planning his brother's way out of this.

ready to return everything the darkness stole

Edmund could practically see his brother's struggle, "You can be angry at me. Even if I have a logical reason." He reached over and ruffled Jude's hair, "Don't suppress it."  Anger was like bloodlust. Repressing it only made it explode later. He imagined that this entire situation was hard for his kind-hearted brother. It hurt to be putting hit through this. But now it was clear to the Ancient that trying to hide such a thing from Jude would hurt his brother worse. Jude's plan was solid, and Edmund nodded, "Alright. That should work." The Ancient lets out a pained noise as Jude closes in on himself, opening his arms as an offer. "Do you want a hug? You can say no." Between the blood and his anger, Edmund would never judge Jude for saying no.  Edmund hated this entire situation. "I'm sorry. For all of this." He paused and added, "And don't say it's ok. It's not. Nothing about this mess is ok." Edmund Reborn In Fire

JUDE

the light of dawn is coming

It feels ridiculous to be standing on the edge of a massacre holding back tears not because of the bodies but because of his brother's kindness. Jude should have known he couldn't hide anything from Edmund. He hadn't been able to his entire life, mostly because he'd never imagined not sharing every little secret and life change with the person he loved most. It's almost painful to realize how little has changed when so much else has. Jude most of all.

Jude doesn't know how not to suppress it though. Like his father, he believes it's better to hide those less palatable emotions, grin and bear it and pretend nobody can see. He doesn't know how to be angry, like Edmund says he can be, while still wanting to accept the hug that his brother offers.

He turns, arms still wrapped around himself, and stares red-eyed at Edmund's open arms. It doesn't take long to tilt himself into them, hands gripping the back of his brother's shirt now in a manner more desperate than angry. Bloodsoaked or not, he just wants to be held.

"Everyone just keeps leaving," he grits out, trembling all over from trying to hold tight to his composure and not give into his tears, an eternally sensitive young man. "Mom, and maman, and you, and -" Sohalia. But his brother won't know who that is. And hadn't Jude been the one to leave anyway? "I just want to stop being left behind. I got older because I was kept trying to chase after all of you but being bigger didn't help." His legs had gotten longer, his mind had gotten wiser, but the people he loved just kept pulling farther away.

ready to return everything the darkness stole