Our heroes, our icons have mellowed with age

the sentinel of the north

Happy his letter reached Remi without too much delay (given the natural time constrains regarding the distance between the two demigods), Noah was nearly elated when the Lullaby offered to meet in Halo. It meant that Noah did not have to travel too far from his wife and their newborns. In fact, they got to travel with him. They took shelter in the hunting lodge with a few other Halovians who had followed them out before turning themselves onto luxere.

Vi'dore walked lazily along the Greenwing, munching and grazing without much attention focused on looking for danger. Eira shared the same lackadaisical attitude. She curled up at Noah's side and snoozed in the autumn sun, drinking the last of its rays into her body. At the turn of the season, there would be no more sunbathing. While the griffin hadn't enjoyed it during longheat, it was a welcome activity in leafchange.

Noah sat with his legs bent, forearms resting on his knees. In his right hand, he twisted and turned the bottle of ink dark liquid from Safrin. Every now and then, Noah lifted his eyes to search the skies for any familiar sights of Remi.

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

Though Remi had been a manticore for the majority of his flight from the mountain range down to Halo, it was in the sleeker form of a hawk that he navigated the Greenwing. The Lullaby was just starting to find his footing again as a man not totally against the idea of being social, but flying over Halo as a massive (and well-known) predator was a step past where he was currently comfortable. Spying the hunting cabin that Noah had mentioned in his letter, it didn't take long for the hawk's keen eyes to spy his fellow demigod flanked by his two companions.

With a piercing cry from the treetops and a pulse of recognition through the attuned bond, Noah will hear the subtle sound of flapping wings and shifting feathers before seeing the Lullaby emerge from the trees. Ruffling a hand through his curls to ensure that all traces of his avian shift were properly gone, Remi tugs at the collar of his thick sweater, before raising a hand in greeting.

"Noah." He calls, offering the other man a smile. "It has been a while."

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

While Noah had expected the manticore to be Remi's chosen form, there was little surprise in him approaching on his own legs; rather, there was a silent understanding. The world required less of the manticore's presence, at the given time. At least, that's how Noah felt. Noah gave his opposite a look up and down, unabashedly looking for any signs of further dismemberment from living at the base of a dragon-infested mountain range, then he stood. He brushed his hands off on his sides, and nearly reached to extend a greeting hand to the Lullaby, before memory served him well.

"An understatement." He shifted his weight some, and huffed out a small breath. "Thanks for coming all this way. It's nice not to have to go so far from the babies." He said, though the real truth was it was not the distance that really concerned Noah -- no, not with his abilities and shifts and the compass perpetually on his person -- but rather the danger that Remi's home posed to those who attempted to travel there. "Have you and Ronin been doing well?"

Better get the pleasantries over and done with before Noah dove into what he wanted this conversation truly to focus on.

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

There was a time when Remi would have been hesitant to return Noah's handshake, but given that his emotions were more stable these days than they had been in years, the Lullaby met the Sentinel's grip easily and with a smile. For the time their skin touched, Noah would feel a pulse of smooth gold singing from Remi before the contact was broken and Remi found his hands back in the pockets of his pants to keep warm.

"Twins." Remi agrees with a chuckle and a knowing nod of his head. "At times it feels like more than just twice the work." As for he and Ronin? Sipping in a breath and raising his eyes to regard the strangely fertile region amidst all the snow and ice, Remi lets his head loll thoughtfully back and forth for a moment before looking back to Noah. "Really well. Time away on the mountain was good for us, but now I think we are both happy to come down more often." With a sly grin, Remi adds: "Though certainly we have no intention of moving.

How are you and Cordelia?"

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

Noah couldn’t help his broad, proud smile as they talked about his twins. More work or not. ”They’ve changed everything for me.” He said and chuckled some, shaking his head. ”Ive been showing them off relentlessly. Deimos even held them.” He said, a twinkle of youthful delight and trickery in his gaze. ”But they are a lot of work. It feels worth it, though. I’ve had times where sleep was just as elusive, and my time was just as spent, but none of it fueled me in the way it does when I look in their eyes.” All of this, he knew he could share. He knew, behind and beyond the shadowed heart of Ludo’s demigod there was an inescapable, unending love for his children.

”We are great. Stronger than ever in our love. But Cordelia…she’s not been the same since the war.” Noah shifted his gaze to look out over the Greenwing. ”During the battle, she left. She didn’t stay. She would have died, and I had asked her to keep herself safe first. I had asked her to be selfish, to think of me and us and herself.” It cost her. It cost her more than Noah could have ever anticipated. The One Shot was her new name, no longer The Shrike. It wasn’t Noah’s first bout in selfishness, but it was the only time his selfishness affected more than just him. But the world didn’t know that. The world didn’t know that the oldest Limore girl had been blanketed in a facade of cowardice because of the love she held for the oldest Olson boy. ”So she’s been reclusive.” He turned his eyes back towards Remi. ”She hasn’t seen anyone except myself, her mother and sisters, since our wedding.”

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

Knowing little about Deimos outside of an official capacity, Remi has to rely on the twinkle in Noah's gaze to provide clues about why this should be worth mentioning. Grinning, the Lullaby tilts his head slightly to the side. "More used to holding weapons than babies?" He guesses, before nodding in agreement that yes, sleepless nights or not, it truly was all worth it.

Raising a brow as the conversation takes a turn he hadn't anticipated, Remi straights slightly and folds his arms comfortably over his chest that he might not fidget as the Sentinel spoke. "She certainly wasn't the only one who had to make that choice." The Lullaby offered gently. In all honesty the details of what had happened in Halo were more than fuzzy in his mind; Remi too had become reclusive after the war, and for a solid year he cared not a single bit about what the rest of the world had undergone, Noah's wife included. That her title had changed, that anyone might have had any thoughts at all about what choices she had made, had been ignored in lieu of his own suffering.

"As someone who was also fairly reclusive after the war..." Remi offers his fellow demigod a rather boyish smile. "..I understand. Most might not, but so long as she has you I'm sure she'll come out of it when she is ready. I did, at least, but were it not for Ronin I wouldn't have wanted to." He adds with a slight shrug.

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

A nod, indicating Remi’s ability to hit the nail on the head when it came to the SWord.

”I think she will be okay, eventually…but Halo’s opinion of her weighs heavily on her shoulders.” And his, too. And he wished he could take it all from her. Wished he could tell each and every person who was soured towards his wife that they should be soured towards him. That her decisions were made only out of love and loyalty to him. Following his wishes. Keeping her promises to him. ”I want to encourage her to do what she needs to do. I don’t want her to stay locked away forever. I know it isn’t good for her.” She had such a full life before the war.

But he couldn’t take it all on. IT wouldn’t make her stronger, and it wouldn’t change the way people looked at her.

But it broke his heart, little by little.

Noah crossed his arms as they spoke, looking out across the Greenwing and his grazing and snoozing companions. ”I’ve been trying to balance the responsibilities I hold here in Halo, and my duties as a demigod, but Cordelia and the twins are my first priority. Safrin has given me a quest for an ability to help protect others in times of danger.”

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

"Why should Halo think anything of her?" The Lullaby wonders, frowning. "Surely she isn't the only person in the entire region who opted to leave a potentially life-threatening situation?" And even if she was...gods, there was a war on, and it certainly wasn't like Sunjata's refuge had been empty the entire time.

"Everyone heals at different rates. It took me more than a year to bother venturing out again.." Remi replies with a small frown and an even smaller shake of his head. "For me at least, the change had to come from within. It didn't matter what anyone did or didn't think, though to be perfectly honest the fact that not a single person ever said thank you for what I - for what we - did, absolutely got to me for a while." Remi, the only one of them not magically healed at the finale by his herald, Remi, the one who had his arm ravaged and scorched by the Core and who was in pain for months.

Following Noah's gaze, Remi regards the treeline solemnly before nodding in agreement. "My family has always come first as well." He says, glancing at Noah over his shoulder. Mention of Safrin has the Lullaby souring slightly, though he did his best to swallow down his annoyance. "Oh? That sounds useful. What sort of quest?"

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

Noah's shrug and half-nod were a clear sign that he understood, and agreed whole heartedly, with Remi's point. Whether or not the people should have an opinion of the woman, they did. Perhaps, because Cordelia felt it in her own heart and her own bones, it was amplified from the truth, but the hurt was still there. Still true.

Another nod, another sign of Noah's similar feelings to the dark demi. Despite the peace that came after the war, there were a great deal of people wrapped up in the trauma of it. Of the actions that led up to it. Noah couldn't place his own feelings or his own words on Remi, but he seemed to have been able to move past the thanklessness of Caido faster than the other man -- and it was mostly due to the fact that he had focused on Halo and the people's needs there even from the day he stepped back onto the frozen land. Noah couldn't make it about him, even though it would be easy to.

"Safrin has given me several tasks to accomplish." He reached inside a pocket and pulled out the vial of dark liquid. "I must travel with this and place it under the stars for her. And I must protect it from someone trying to break it. But," he placed the vial back in his pocket, "I wrote to you because I thought you could help give me insight on the last task. Safrin said that as my family grows, my ability to be what I want to be for them will be harder and harder." The trepidation at this truth walked across the attuned bond for Remi to feel, Noah's mind open to him. "I thought you might have some insight into that."

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

Finding it rather difficult to open up these days to others despite his efforts, the Lullaby felt slightly stilted by the hunter's non-verbal responses. Though, given the topic they were describing perhaps it was expecting more than he had any right to given just how comparatively unfamiliar the pair were with one another. Still, Remi felt himself stiffen slightly.

Glancing at the vial and thinking for a moment of just how familiar it looked to the one he'd recently drank to recover his memories, he raises a brow at Noah's explanation, his eyes going from the vial, to the man holding it and back again. "Oh?" Confusion melted into understanding, and the demigod pursed his lips together thoughtfully before inclining his head slightly.

"Honestly you might have been better served by asking Ronin." Remi replies with a chuckle, his expression suddenly affectionate for the mention of his husband. "With Safrin and Vi...there is a certain expectation of being good that comes along with being their demigod. Safrin for instance just asked Ronin to be more present that he might represent her better, but you would never expect Ludo to ask the same of me. Or if it did..." The Lullaby shrugs. There was a reason someone like Noah had been asked to be the demigod of Vi in the same way that someone like Remi never would.

'If you hid away for years to be with your family, what would Vi say about that? If you were reckless and made enemies and hurt others with your demigod abilities?" Remi raises his eyebrows; all of these things he himself had done in the past, in a way which would have been impossible for someone like Ronin or Noah. 'From what I know of Safrin, she will always expect you to be a shining example of Vi, no matter what familial obligations you have. I would assume that is what she means by things getting harder."

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

Noah chose Remi on purpose. He knew Ronin better than he did his husband, and could give an educated guess on how he might advise and encourage Noah with what he was wrestling with. But Remi was different than Noah in so many ways, and the Sentinel knew that. He knew he was not only because of the time they had spent together and the things they had done together, but because of the information he knew of Remi’s old life, when Delphine had been his close friend. A different person stood in front of Noah now. Noah wanted that perspective.

There was a wisdom that only came with Remi’s history behind each and every word. Noah was impressed and, to be completely honest with himself, flattered that Remi was giving him such thoughtful and careful insight. Understanding at Remi’s words washed over Noah and his head bobbed along with each passing section of tide. ”She must know very well what I am facing moving ahead, even if I don’t yet understand it.” He gave a soft chuckle, but it didn’t last long. ”Vi has encouraged me to help the Hollowed Grounds recover from the aftermath of the Voice.” He shifted his weight. ”I already find that hard. Everything within me wants to stay in Halo and help the people there thrive above all else.”

He shifted again, hands lifting to stuff themselves inside his pockets. ”Have you had to fight between your responsibilities placed upon you by Ludo and the responsibilities you place on yourself because of the ones you love?”

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

"I should think so. You—and Ronin as well—are surely not the first husbands, fathers..good men to be bound to her." Said just as icily as what one might expect from the likes of Remi, the Lullaby can only sigh softly, and give his head an apologetic shake. "I do not like Safrin, if that might is not obvious, but nor do I think she's wrong about this even if it is partially because of her that you are in this position."

Raising a brow and tilting his head slightly to hear mention of Vi and The Grounds in the same sentence, Remi sips in a cold breath, holding it in his lungs until it was warmed, before exhaling. "Well...were I of the noble Vi-following sort, I would probably tell you that for all Vi has done for you and your family and for all you have promised him, it is selfish of you to pick a land over your fealty." Said with the sort of tone that very much suggests he doesn't believe a word of what he's saying, the Lullaby frowns slightly.

"Uhmm...." Looking up into the bright green tree boughs, the Lullaby frowns thoughtfully. "Well...prior to the war, Ronin was stationed in Stormbreak while I was made to remain in the Greatwood. Our son did his best to move back and forth between us, but given his schooling, he ended up spending more time with Ronin." Tugging his eye line back down and shooting the Sentinel a wry look, the Lullaby smiles darkly. "I am not sure how much you remember, but the Greatwood was not...very well defended when war broke out." And why? Because Remi had done nothing to protect it.

"Ludo was against the ascended, and I befriended them. I loved one of them, deeply. So yes, I did fight, but I paid dearly for it. I have been punished by Ludo in more ways than I care to comment on. Curses to this day I cannot speak of, memories that have been taken and destroyed."

Sternly, the Lullaby raises his green gaze, fixing the other man softly but intentionally with it. "If I could undo this, unbe this that there might never be another conflict? I would give it up in a heartbeat."

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing

the sentinel of the north

Even with the tone they were painted in, Remi's words were like a punch in the gut. Noah felt them physically smack him, and color rushed to his face. Of course the Lullaby was right in what he was saying. Noah knew it, too, but he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want to admit to how selfish he was being by holding this task at arms length, by so much as ignoring his deity's pledge on his life. He swallowed and his throat bobbed as his face and ears grew hotter and hotter. Noah nodded, then, and looked to his feet. He shuffled them briefly before kicking at a mound of dirt that must have taken some insects weeks to build up.

"I want to honor Vi." Noah said, full of truth and humility and yet, a tinge of sadness. Where that was coming from, he wasn't quite sure. Perhaps it was because of all of the wordly things he was holding on to despite what the god called him to--

--the things he needed to let go. Because if he were to continue on this path that Vi had chosen for him, and he had accepted, there was nothing else that was going to follow him into the innumerable lifetimes that he had the potential to live. "I think meeting with you was what I needed. A perspective I needed to understand. To be able to look outside myself."

Remi's further words made Noah's throat close in, and the color and warmth of his face shattered instantly to a cold ice. He hadn't realized how much the Lullaby hated what he was--or, at least, what this life called him to. Noah steeled himself, pulled his heart from his stomach to his chest where it belonged, and left everything open in the attuned airways for Remi to feel it, if he so chose. "If...if it were to change, if the gods--if Caido--could make that happen..." Noah trailed off, because just as he had thought only seconds ago about losing those he loved because of the longevity of his life, Remi was willing to give up his mantle and his endless life with Ronin, if it shielded the world.

Noah was sure he was not that selfless, and he looked to the Lullaby with an admiration he didn't hold before.

Noah

maybe i'm a runaway train, maybe i'm a feather in a hurricane

Glancing sidelong at Noah, it wasn't difficult to parse out what the other man must have been thinking, or at least feeling. "If you were not a good man Noah, you would not be struggling with these decisions." The Lullaby offers, as if it's some sort of consolation. Life was easier when you were an asshole, Remi had learned that firsthand. Though it was far less fulfilling.

Raising his eyebrows and looking vaguely surprised to hear Noah say so, the Lullaby merely shrugs a touch bashfully in response. There was of course a certain saying about being a bad example for others to learn from, but Remi hadn't really thought it would ever apply to him. Not because he wasn't such an example (he was, time and time again), but because he never thought anyone even really thought of him.

The sudden influx of emotions through the attuned bond has the Lullaby flinching out of surprise. Turning his seaglass eyes to Noah's storm-bright blues, Remi can only nod. "Without hesitation." He confirms.

THE LULLABY

maybe it's a long gray game, but maybe that's a good thing