From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
It had been a few days since their discussion (fight?), and Soh was already out of her mind with anxiety over the entire debacle. Why hadn't she just kept her mouth shut? How had she managed to screw up so badly? He had said he wasn't angry when he left, that he wasn't breaking up with her, but they'd never needed space before. He'd never wanted to be away from her before. And that he'd left her with a request to think about what she wanted?
Gods, she didn't even know anymore.
She'd considered her next move, and anyone she could think to talk to was immediately discarded. She could hardly go to someone like Phoebe, who would be perfect except for the fact that she was Jude's mother. Tal was perhaps her best friend aside from Jude himself, but somehow she didn't think the courier was going to be up for a heart to heart about her love life. And so she had gone through her list of friends, discarding this person and that for various reasons, until she got to Flora.
Flora. Of course.
So she'd sent a letter to ask if Flora wanted a vacation in Stormbreak. They could go shopping, visit the Eye of the Storm, do girly things and talk about boys. It was perfect. Hopefully.
Soh had cleaned up the apartment, her heart aching but her mind hopeful for a good time with her friend. And maybe Flora could help her make sense of the mess that had taken up residence in her head. When the knock sounded on the door, Soh rushed downstairs to fling it open with a bright smile. "Flora!" she squealed, hugging the other girl and ushering her inside. "Thank you for coming. How was your trip?"
"Hey you!" Flora gushed as soon as Soh had thrown the door open. Though the Doubletake didn't really consider Stormbreak much of a vacation, she was more than happy to take a break from her daily duties to visit a friend. "I brought you this!" She trilled as she was dragged over the threshold, giving Soh a squeeze before straightening. "Here, I'm pretty sure..." Reaching into the overnight bag that she'd brought with her Flora brought out a bathing suit she was absolutely sure would make Soh squeal. It was the same shimmery blue as her friend's eyes, with golden accents dipping from the top's center and connecting down to the bottoms. It was a fairly revealing two-piece, of course. "I knew it! It matches your eyes perfectly!"
They'd planned on going swimming after all, what else would Flora bring?
'Oh, the trip was fine. I mostly napped." She said with a bouncy shrug of her shoulders. "How are youuuuuuuuuuu." So saying the girl waggled her eyebrows before flashing the Heart a bright smile.
Soh closed the door behind her friend, her eyes widening at the bathing suit that Flora had brought. It was more revealing that what she would have chosen for herself, but she had to admit that it was beautiful. ”Ooooo,” she squealed, just as Flora had anticipated. ”It’s lovely!” Leading the way upstairs, she added, ”I’m glad it was a good trip. Can I get you something to drink, or do you want to head for the Eye of the Storm right away? I’ve got water, lemonade, tea, and wine.”
As for how she was… ”Honestly? I’ve been better,” Soh admitted with a sigh. She glanced around the apartment, her mouth twisting into a frown. ”Jude and I had a fight. I think? I’m not really sure, but he said he needed some time to think and left.” And oh, how his absence ached. One thing was for sure: when he came back, she was going to make sure he knew how she felt about him. She never wanted to give him a reason to question it again. That is, if he came back. Just now, that felt like a giant question mark in the back of her mind.
More than pleased with Soh's reaction, Flora pads lightly up the stairs behind the Heart. 'Oooh, mix some wine with the lemonade. As long as it's white wine. Is it?" She chirps, before nodding her head that yes, they should set off right away. Flora had napped on the skyship over as she'd said, but the beds were hardly comfortable and she could use a little steam and heat.
Leaning against the counter in the kitchen, Flora frowns dramatically as she rests her head in her hands. "He has to think? As if men even do that." This latter sentiment was said with a helpful roll of her eyes. "Listen, you pour us each a drink and we'll have it on the way to the Eye. How's that?" The Doubletake asks, absolutely not wanting it to seem as though she wasn't taking her friend's concerns seriously, but also very much wanting a drink and to immerse herself in the warm waters of the Eye.
"I have both," Soh said of the wine. White wine was her favorite, but she never knew when she might have company that preferred red. "I never thought of mixing it with the lemonade. That's brilliant." She pulled out the wine and lemonade, then two oversized thermoses, and gestured for Flora to pour as she saw fit. "If you get these, I'll go change," she said, snagging the bathing suit and heading to her room. Flora was probably better at mixing drinks than she would be anyway.
When she emerged, it was in a t-shirt and shorts over the bathing suit, her hair tied up in a messy bun atop her head. Time spent with Flora in Torchline had helped to desensitize her to some of the more revealing clothing preferred by the other girl, and she was all the happier for it. One less thing to worry about these days was a blessing.
"Let's bring it with us, in case we want refills," she said suddenly, thinking that a drink - or several - might actually be nice. So she pulled out a picnic basket, sealed the wine and lemonade with lids, and tucked them into the basket with some ice packs for good measure. With that settled, she led the way downstairs and out into the street.
"Benefits of running a Tavern." Flora trills breezily. Glancing over her shoulder and waiting until Sohalia was firmly out of view, the Doubletake pours a heavy helping of wine into each thermos before topping them up with lemonade. Based on what her friend had said thus far, Flora had the idea the Heart might need a little liquid courage to get her through the next few hours. Besides, gossip and boy-drama was always more interesting with looser tongues.
"Gods you look cute." She announces as Soh returns, beaming at her friend and waggling her eyebrows. Once their basket is packed, Flora links her arm through Soh's as she dons a pair of overly large sunglasses. "Now," Tugging the Heart closer and flashing her an endearing but effervescent smile, the Doubletake gave her friend's arm a warm squeeze. "Tell me what's got Jude's feathers all ruffled."
Soh blushed at her friend's praise, then said, "So do you, but you always look amazing." It was true. Soh was always a little jealous at just how easily Flora was able to carry off pretty much anything that she put on. The young Heart wished she had her friend's confidence. Would that have made her life easier, if she did? Would things have turned out any differently?
Soh locked up behind them and then they were on their way, meandering easily through the streets of Stormbreak towards the Eye. It was a beautiful day, and for a moment it seemed that all of Soh's worries might float away on the autumn breeze - but then Flora asked about Jude, and the girl's face fell. "It's complicated," she admitted with a sigh. "I don't even know where to start. I guess... Jude and I had a conversation before about seeing other people, and we were both clear that we didn't want to do that, except that Jude said he would be okay with like, polyamory, if it was someone we both liked? And I'd never really thought about that before, but it ended with us deciding on just seeing each other, and that was that.
"But I was dating someone before Jude and broke it off when he and I got together. And I just recently realized that I have feelings for him, too, and I don't want to break up with Jude, and maybe that's selfish, but it turns out that Jude also flirted with this guy and found him attractive, and so I thought maybe we could see if maybe the whole poly thing would work out, but Jude basically accused me of not wanting to be with him anymore and of not wanting to choose between him and this other guy, and then he left and wants me to 'figure out how I feel.'"
Once she'd started, the whole story came out in a rush, and she was left gazing helplessly at Flora. "I know I don't want to break up with Jude. That was never a question, but he doesn't seem to get that. I just want -" Her cheeks heated. Maybe she really was selfish and cowardly, to want both young men. "I don't know. I just want to see if maybe this other guy would be interested in going on a date with us?"
'Oh pssshhhhh." Flora says with a laugh, happy to have Soh at her side and more than happy to concede that they both looked amazing and that anyone who passed them by should be so lucky just to glance their way.
As the Luminary begins to speak, the Doubletake nudges her shoulder softly with her own. "Tut, tut. No frowning, or you'll get wrinkles." Flora says warmly, though quickly she finds herself frowning as Sohalia continues. Of all the things she'd expected to her, issues of polygamy had certainly not made the list.
"Gods." Flora exhales when Sohalia has finished speaking, not really knowing what to say or where to start. "Okay, I mean..first off, let me just say that you're beautiful and perfect and Jude - or anyone else - should be so lucky just to be near you, and I need you to remember that, okay?" Tugging at the Luminary's arm, Flora fixes Soh with a look before continuing on. "But also, fuck Jude? Babe, you're 19, you're the leader of Stormbreak, and he wants you to figure out how you feel? Like, you're not out here to get married. If you want to date around, date around. A few years ago everyone was at each other's throats and the world was basically ending, and now we're all here just trying to do our best, so if you ask me-" Which, you know, Soh was. "-be selfish. You're young, you're hot, and you don't actually need to know what you want."
Glancing up toward the sky, Flora exhales dramatically, if only because the moment seemed to call for it. 'Who's the other guy, anyway?"
Soh listened to her friend's advice, she really did, but something inside felt wrong. Maybe Flora wasn't out to get married, but Soh wanted something serious, something stable. "I don't know, Flora. And maybe I'm being unfair. It was bad timing. Jude and I had agreed to be together, just us, and then months later I suddenly realize I have feelings for someone else, too? If our positions were reversed, I don't know what I'd think." She bit her lip. She did know what she'd think. And she'd probably be heartbroken, just like Jude had seemed to be. "No, that's not true. I'd be just as upset as Jude is. I mean, isn't it basically cheating? To have feelings for someone else when you've agreed to be monogamous?" And wasn't that the bigger issue, anyway?
Soh sighed. It wasn't the fact that she had feelings for someone else that had Jude upset; it was that it seemed like she'd hidden it from him. "Look, Jude is great. He's a great person, and he's a great boyfriend. I don't want it to seem like he's not, because he is, and I love him. It's just... the other guy is great, too." Then, because Flora had asked, and completely unaware of the new can of worms she was likely to open when she shared, she said, "His name's Koa. He's a Dragoon here."
Unmoved by her friend's resistance, Flora shakes her head. "Okay, but like...you're 19. Are you really ready to lock your whole life down to this one person, right now? I mean...other than Jude and this other guy, who have you even been with? Because..if my math is right, you've basically caught feelings for 100% of the guys you've ever been with, so..." So, maybe they weren't that special, or maybe catching feelings just came easily to Soh.
"But then again, so what if you have feelings for someone else? You can choose just not to act on them. It isn't a crime to have a crush and if Jude can't handle you being honest with your feelings, he needs to grow up." No, in Flora's opinion it very clearly wasn't cheating. "Because you said Jude had like...felt whatever for this other guy too, so even if he's mad, he's being a hypocrite."
Just about to ask if Soh loved the other guy, or if she just liked him, Flora falls uncharacteristically silent as the Luminary mentions perhaps the one name she hadn't been expecting. '......Koa.' The Doubletake repeats in a soft voice as her cheeks grow hot and her hands grow cold.
Soh bit her lip as she considered. Sure, she was young, but did that make her feelings any less real? Any less important? "I mean, I guess... but I know other guys. I have friends who are guys who I don't like, not like that." Although, to be fair, she had had an unreciprocated crush on one other person, so maybe she did just catch feels easily. Either way, was that a bad thing?
As Flora continued on a somewhat anti-Jude stance, Soh felt herself bristle in defense of her boyfriend. "I don't think it's the feelings so much as the timing being bad. He felt like I was hiding things from him, and I don't... think he was wrong." Her mouth twisted into a grimace. She hadn't planned on sharing anything about her attack with anyone else, but it had kicked off the conversation with Jude about her keeping things secret. "I did keep something from him, but only because I was afraid of losing him."
But then, Flora fell uncharacteristically silent, prompting Soh to shoot the other girl an inquisitive look. "Yes, Koa. Do you know him?"
"I mean, but you don't owe him every thought that goes through your head, you know? Like, you're allowed to think things through and not have perfect timing without it blowing up your whole relationship." Flora points out. The conversation thus far only unscored just how differently the two women viewed relationships, but the Doubletake wasn't willing to let the Luminary accept quite as much blame as she currently seemed to be doing. That said, she wasn't ignorant of how her words were seemly affecting her friend, so with a gentle tug of Soh's arm, Flora leans her cheek against the Heart's shoulder.
"Listen, all I'm saying is that you're young, he's young, and this is all new to you both, right? So even if you should have said something sooner, even if it's a weird situation, I just think that like...everyone can chill, a bit, you know? It wasn't like you did it because you were trying to be mean, and now that you know how this has turned out, maybe you'll handle things differently in the future but like..." Straightening, Flora could only shrug. Being young herself and making plenty of mistakes when it came to relationships thus far, she knew from experience that absolutely none of them had any real authority in telling other people how to act.
But then of course Soh mentioned Koa and Flora suddenly felt sick as if she was both too hot and too cold all at the same time. "Uh...yep. I sure do." She replied tonelessly, wondering if it would be too obvious to ask Soh for some of their winonaide. "We uhh...I mean, we grew up together sort of. He and Mateo were friends since they both lived here, but I saw him when I'd come to visit from the Greatwood, and.."
Flora's calm and reason reassured Soh at least enough for her to offer a small smile to her friend. "Thanks, Flora," she murmured, squeezing the other girl's arm thankfully. She was fortunate in her friends; she knew that already, but never more so than when she found herself in need. Although some of Flora's advice would eventually be discarded - Soh was a bit more serious than her friend, after all - this, at least, was something that Soh could take to heart. Maybe things didn't have to be quite as dire as she'd imagined. Maybe, wherever Jude was, he would come to the same conclusion, too. They were young and bound to make mistakes - right? That didn't mean that the world - or their relationship - had to end.
Then talk turned to Koa, and Soh was intrigued to find that Flora knew him through Mateo. Though she'd never seen the botanist with the young Dragoon, it somehow didn't surprise her that they knew each other. But was it her imagination, or had Flora gotten awfully quiet? Although oblivious to the reason for Flora's discomfort, Soh realized that the other girl seemed suddenly far less sure than she'd been only moments before. Unsure what she'd said or where she'd gone wrong, Soh simply cocked her head to one side and said, "Oh, okay! Mateo knows everyone, doesn't he?"
"Anything for you." The Doubletake trills happily, and while she's more than delighted to be a source of reassurance and (questionable) expertise, as the conversation meanders toward less savoury topics (and people, one in particular), Flora can feel her confidence ebbing away step by step.
"Yeah..He totally does." The Doubletake agrees, forcing a laugh that felt heavy as it fell from her lips. "I uhm...I don't know Jude, but he sounds totally great, and Koa...I mean, you can totally do better, so I'd just stick with Jude." It's advice that goes totally against everything she'd just said, but hey, it was a hell of a lot easier than explaining how not only had she, Flora, had sex with Koa, but that they'd been together recently enough to probably cause conflict.
