Sohalia
Whoop, there is is.
The anger that Soh had been expecting hit her full force, and she quailed before it even though she'd been waiting for its arrival. Why wouldn't he be angry? Why shouldn't he be angry? It was suddenly sinking in that this meeting - which could well have been used to pave the way to friendship instead of whatever this was - was horribly wrong and selfish and cruel, and that yet again she'd acted without thinking and managed to hurt someone that she cared about.
But how was she supposed to say that she'd made a mistake? Oopsie, my bad, can we just forget about this conversation and pretend it never happened? Well, that obviously wouldn't work.
On the one hand, the fact that she was stuck deciding between two men made her feel justified in her poor decision making. It had seemed like a reasonable thing to ask at the time, for a date with she and Jude. But then she'd talked about making choices, and maybe, maybe, if she could say with any certainty that she didn't think she could choose, or that she'd choose Koa, maybe that would make things better.
But that would be a lie. She'd choose Jude every time.
And Koa knew that, somehow, and that made things so much worse.
"You're right," she whispered, biting her lip to try and keep from crying. "I've been really fucking shitty." It was strange; she never resorted to cursing, and it sounded bizarre in her voice, coming out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, Koa. I'm so sorry. I'll - I'll just go. Just -" Just what? Forget she ever said anything? Forget her? She didn't know what to say. So instead of saying anything, she fumbled for her purse, threw some money on the table (probably way more than was needed, but she didn't really look), gathered up Tarak, and looked at Koa one last time, dismayed and guilty and ashamed.
What else was there to say?
-FIN-
The anger that Soh had been expecting hit her full force, and she quailed before it even though she'd been waiting for its arrival. Why wouldn't he be angry? Why shouldn't he be angry? It was suddenly sinking in that this meeting - which could well have been used to pave the way to friendship instead of whatever this was - was horribly wrong and selfish and cruel, and that yet again she'd acted without thinking and managed to hurt someone that she cared about.
But how was she supposed to say that she'd made a mistake? Oopsie, my bad, can we just forget about this conversation and pretend it never happened? Well, that obviously wouldn't work.
On the one hand, the fact that she was stuck deciding between two men made her feel justified in her poor decision making. It had seemed like a reasonable thing to ask at the time, for a date with she and Jude. But then she'd talked about making choices, and maybe, maybe, if she could say with any certainty that she didn't think she could choose, or that she'd choose Koa, maybe that would make things better.
But that would be a lie. She'd choose Jude every time.
And Koa knew that, somehow, and that made things so much worse.
"You're right," she whispered, biting her lip to try and keep from crying. "I've been really fucking shitty." It was strange; she never resorted to cursing, and it sounded bizarre in her voice, coming out of her mouth. "I'm sorry, Koa. I'm so sorry. I'll - I'll just go. Just -" Just what? Forget she ever said anything? Forget her? She didn't know what to say. So instead of saying anything, she fumbled for her purse, threw some money on the table (probably way more than was needed, but she didn't really look), gathered up Tarak, and looked at Koa one last time, dismayed and guilty and ashamed.
What else was there to say?
-FIN-
