{se} feels like I'm sleepwalking when you're gone

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Feathers sprout beneath her hand, soft against her palm in an added sensation that only brightens her demeanor further. Even as he pulls away and they both rush to bring air back into their lungs - she hadn't even realized she'd been holding her breath - her fingertips gently trail down the edges of his feathers, feeling each soft vane. With his forehead against her own she can't watch his face the same way, but she can see the shadows of his lashes, the line of his nose. It's entirely selfish, because she can feel everything his face might tell her.

"That one was all me," she admits quietly, lips twitching into a smile, astounded by how little regret she feels for having done it. It's precisely why she doesn't apologize. "Though I'm taller now, aren't I?" Certainly her head is higher given how he holds her. "So I think I win." Not that it had ever been a competition so much as a round of teasing, but she doesn't want him sinking too far into his head, luring him out with humor that tells him everything is okay even as she bumps her nose against his.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

Her hand traces patterns along his feathers in a way that he shivers with, catching his breath while his long lashes remain closed, only for as long as it takes for him to hear her voice and the way it’s so surprisingly unapologetic. It bolsters him, of course, and Sunjata hums a soft sound of a laugh as he withdraws his head after she’s bumped his nose with her own.

He peers down at her with bright steel, lips twisting into a playful smile. “Mm, I suppose you are.” He drawls playfully, before leaning in to brush his nose against hers again, wings relaxing ever so slightly from where they keep them hidden from anyone else who might get a view from that angle. “I might need to start getting my own in.” Wins or kisses, he doesn’t elaborate with words, but dives in again to press a softer kiss to her lips in response.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

She blinks quickly as he pulls away, the sunlight behind him casting a faint halo in his hair and dazzling her with how strong the afternoon rays are. Only to laugh, quiet and bright, as he ducks back in to brush his nose against her own once more. Arms held loosely around his neck now from where they'd both relaxed, she bounces her calf idly against his forearm, clearly pleased with not only her win but how he still cradles her so easily. Sinking into the pleasantness of being touched and held in ways she has needed for years.

Moments from asking what he means, she's silenced by him kissing her this time, the first he has initiated without her asking or commanding him to. It's softer this time, almost chaste, and her fingers flex with the desire to pull him back down and keep him there the moment he pulls away. "I've still got you beat on numbers," she points out, and leans up to press what can only be a peck for how short it is against his lips. "See? I'm at three now." And, grinning, she tilts her face away so he can't easily remedy that. "At this point you'll be catching up forever," she taunts, content not to think too hard on all the implications there.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

He’s more than content to continue holding her, especially as she doesn’t seem inclined to be set down either. And it’s what invites him to invade her space, making his own little quick witted comment before pressing a softer and shorter kiss to her lips before withdrawing. He can feel the way her fingers twitch against his neck, however, and it’s what keeps him from drifting too far away from her, still helplessly trapped in her orbit even as her teasing returns full force and he hums a laugh, smile bright as he peers down at her.

She might not think too long on the implications but he does, lips quirking into a smirk as he cocks his head slightly. “Are you going to let me try?” He asks with that same teasing smirk, eyebrow bouncing playfully as he squeezes her in tighter against him to readjust his hold on her, the sensation of amusement and laughter dances down the bond toward her.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

It's awfully convenient how strong he is and how petite she is because Ru can think of no other place she wants to be right now. His smile is beautifully bright, and witnessing it keeps any tiny, budding doubts at bay. This situation is so far from simple, but Hotaru has been unhappy for so many years - she doesn't care about the details, she just wants to bask in being happy with this man she cares so much about. Sharing that joy like air beneath the waves, trading it back and forth from one set of lungs to another.

It doesn't help that alongside that happiness comes the flutter of attraction as he smirks down at her, as roguish and charming as he's always been. And despite hanging in his arms, appearing to be at his mercy, Ru knows she's the one holding the power here when he asks her this. Even with amusement abound she knows it's a question worth truly considering, and her thumb caresses just behind his ear as she looks into steel eyes and thinks it over.

They've hurt each other so much in the past. But Ru believes everyone else looking in from the outside never knew how much happiness had come before that. Trust, connection, love. Real and undeniable love. Could they ever hope for that again? Were they older now, wiser, and capable of not making the same mistakes? Was she ready to trust again, personally?

"I am," she murmurs, and her surety can be felt through the bond, weighted despite the simplistic answer. And then pulls him down to kiss him again; slow, this time, as if it's the first time ever and she wants to memorize the shape of his lips. When she pulls away it's scant centimeters that take shape between them, and her smile can surely be felt. "Though now I'm at four." A breathy taunt spoken right against his mouth.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

She does hold all the power – Sunjata merely at her whim when it comes to whether or not she wants to try at this again – to try them again – and it’s with no amount of intention or trying to convince her to give him another chance that he asks her that question, funneling his amusement alongside it despite the honesty of it. He was honest when he told her that he still loved her. He was also honest when he told her that he didn’t want or expect anything to come from his admission. It was just something he had to get off his chest, had to tell her so that he might be able to find some peace within himself to move on.

And with each time, it’s been a combined effort between the two of them to keep that line drawn in the sand between them, one that seems to keep moving each time they’re together. Not that he’s going to complain about it – he isn’t, but it is with some relief to know that deep down she feels just the same. And optimistically, Sunjata thinks this might be able to work again. Perhaps she’s giving him that second, third, fourth, fifth chance, with the relief that war doesn’t breathe down his neck to make him impulsive and fearful.

As he looks down and meets her eyes, feels the warmth of her thumb as it runs along behind his ear and he holds her so easily and gently in his arms like she’s the most fragile thing, he thinks suddenly that he doesn’t care what Caido tries to throw at him next so long as he could be with her. It’s a thought punctuated with relief through the bond as she answers him, surety flooding the bond to alleviate any concealed worries he might have as her lips meet his like it’s their first time, and despite how she pulls away and offers that taunt mere centimeters away from his lips, that Sunjata doesn’t respond back vocally as he dives in for another. I’m going to be catching up for a while, you know. Comes the throaty, deeper accented response through the bond. Though I think I’ll be quite happy to let you continue to take the lead so I can have more excuses for this. His tone ends in a playful purr, wings encroaching again to keep them just themselves, without the outside world to creep in.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Maybe she needs to mentally apologize to Isla for having been so offended that everyone assumed this would happen the moment they came back into each other's lives. She doesn't want to think they'd been kidding themselves because she had needed proof that he'd changed, that they were both different - better - people. But she can admit that every time he showed her, every time he proved he could be trusted again, that line in the sand had gotten shakier and smaller. Ru knows what everyone else will think but for once she simply doesn't care. They've both been steered far too much by the opinions of other people in the past, and always been the ones to ultimately suffer for it. This time, she just wants this to be about them.

He kisses her moments after she stops speaking, and Hotaru goes into it smiling. She might not be sure what this means for the future, but right now in this moment she's certain, and that's all she needs to know. That's perfectly alright. We have time, she murmurs back, her own regal accent stronger just as his own is. And what a wonder it is to be able to say that, without war breathing down their necks and risking the end of everything sacred and beloved. Eventually I'm going to lose track, so excuse away, comes down the bond with cotton-candy wisps of humor and joy. And this time, emboldened by their privacy and these first, sure steps into some convergence of old and new, Hotaru is the one to deepen the kiss this time with a small dart of her tongue against the seam of his lips.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

Her own voice brightens between them along that calm, happy, sunshine wrapped bond between them and he nearly shivers with the sound of it. Good, because in that case you’re always going to be ahead. Which leads to his nonstop excuses to find a way to indulge himself a taste of her as much as he can, as much as she’ll allow. And while, yes, Sunjata hadn’t gone into their attempts at fixing things between them with this in mind, it feels right, like their puzzle pieces have finally been moved around enough times they can sit flush against one another.

The second that she deepens the kiss, however, with that dart of her tongue against his lips, he can’t help the rumble of a sound that slips from his throat, lips parting for her as his arms remain just as protective around her, as his wings give him that boon. But he’s also keenly aware that he can’t do much aside from hold her, lest he put her down which he absolutely doesn’t want to do just yet, and with nowhere around to set her to settle into her space he’s forced to remain at her whims yet again. Do you still want to visit the Dreaming Well? He asks offhandedly if only for his cheesy follow up, covering it with how focused he is on their lips and where her body presses against his, Personally, I think my dreams are already blessed for tonight.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Her laughter is muffled against his lips where he can feel it, but in the bond he'll feel it all the more clearly. Perfect, you know I love to win, she purrs, shamelessly drinking in the moment - and his ensuing realization that though she deepens the kiss, it's merely a tease because there's nowhere for them to truly explore it. In fact, she doesn't linger long; curling her tongue against his before retreating to nip at his bottom lip and pulling away with a catlike smolder of satisfaction.

"Is that just you being sweet, or asking me to stay?" It's clear from the soft chortle underneath the words that she wouldn't mind either way, no matter how forward the latter would be. Even if she doesn't spend the night, the rest of her day had been scheduled entirely around him, so they'll have plenty of time to - eventually - talk about things. But for once she's in no rush, trusting that she can enjoy this moment without forcing them to sit down and discuss details and boundaries.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

I do know that. He replies swiftly, snorting himself as she pulls away from the kiss, nipping at his lower lip which only causes him to run his tongue along it in both an attempt to pretend like it hurt, but also in a possessive way of still wanting to taste her despite her absence. As for her follow up question to his cheesiness, her own laugh brightens his smile that he offers her, both roguish and playful, but honest despite the layers of a mask he’d worn for years, ripped away in the face of this sudden realization.

“It’s a bit of both, truthfully.” He rumbles, not minding either way. Even if she didn’t stay the night, these are still thoughts that would hopefully soothe the nightmares enough when they inevitably came for him. And it’s that thought that he clings to as his wings part and flood the space between them with pale autumn sunlight as he moves to finally set her down, his tricolored wings tucking in tightly along his back. “I could show you my dragon hoard you’ve heard so much about.” His voice takes on a sing-songy tone as if teasing her with it might get her to stay with him, at least for one night.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

Fondness washes over her heart even as she feels the barest flicker of his tongue as it wipes away a hurt she knows isn't really there. I know you do. You know me. It's too soft a thing for her to bear to say aloud, but the tenderness in her eyes is unmistakable, the emphasis on the last word too clear to mean anything else. Even after all this time, some things are still the same.

Pouting slightly at being put down - though she does appreciate how it frees up her arms and allows her to step into his space - Ru can't hold the expression for long before he's prompting another laugh from the bottom of her chest. The golden shawl of feathers ruffles comfortably before sinking back into her bare shoulders, and she shoots him a coy but knowing look from beneath pale lashes. "You don't have to tempt me to get me to stay. I want to." Which is just further proof of how they've both grown, for her to state her desires so plainly even if it means admitting to emotions she might have once concealed.

In fact, she even goes so far as to take his hand, which feels far too momentous given how small it is. Going up on her toes doesn't get her where she wants to be, but she trusts he'll meet her halfway. "But I do require dinner." Even if it's eaten in the comfort of his room, a girl has to have some requirements before ending up in a man's bed, no matter how chastely.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

He does know her, and it’s that understanding of her that isn’t surprised when her voice flits through the bond again – that honesty, genuine answer enough to open up so many doors and ruin her own carefully crafted mask. He doesn’t blame her, knowing all too well the difficulties in speaking such things that are so close to the chest. It’s one of the things he’s working on. So rather than respond, he simply pulses a soft little thrum of agreement with her, not vocalizing it.

And then he sets her down and lets his wings tuck in, keeping the feathers sprouted where they are because there’s no use in hiding them now – and, as she’s told him once before, it is her favorite shift of his. But he watches as hers fade away, as his lightning scarred hand lifts to run along the disappearing gilded feathers on her shoulders, before dropping down her arm as she moves to take his hand, offering her a gentler, genuine smile. “I want you to stay, too.” He decides to be honest with that part too, now that it seems to be an unspoken agreement between them.

She rises on her tiptoes, however, and he crouches to meet her halfway exactly as she expects, and before pressing another kiss to her lips he speaks against them. “I can certainly provide dinner. Are you feeling like something specific tonight?” He asks, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips finally, letting the slight flush color his freckled cheeks as his steel gaze finds her dual toned ones as he pulls away, keeping his hand in hers while he moves to collect the shovel and cast a glance back to the sapling, before heading them back the pathway to the House of Midnight.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine

Hotaru

Somewhere my lifeline still hums and sings
In the mess of all I have thrown away

He was holding her mere moments ago, and yet the touch of his fingertips as they trail in the wake of her dissipating feathers makes her shiver as if he’s touched her for the first time. Honesty is a new thing for them, but not so new as to scare her anymore. She’d had to practice with many others after the war, and it has come more easily with him than expected in the past season and a half that they’ve been rebuilding bridges.

Still, it’s nice to hear he wants her to stay as well.

It’s almost a tease for him to withhold just long enough to speak, only to give a chaste kiss in reward for her minimal patience. However food - especially of her own choosing - is a suitable substitute. For now.

“Fish,” she groans emphatically, heedless of how sultry it sounds. Nearly all of her shifts enjoy it, and Halo’s selections are abysmal given they’d only had access to the ocean after the war, and the fish that frequent arctic waters were far from palatable. Turning alongside him, she spares a moment to appreciate the sight of the new sapling and all it represents before falling into step with him. A feat she’d mastered years ago given their comical height disparity. “I don’t care what form or type, just fish.” The rest he can surprise her with for all she cares.

Hungry now,
I am gathering new seeds to throw wide

SUNJATA

at another place in time, you were infinitely mine
relatively alright, when berenstein was fine

He supposes her choice in food shouldn’t surprise him – given the fact the majority of his shifts tend to prefer red meat, catered with the delicate balance of a good amount of vegetables to keep the prey animals in his skin equally as happy. So he goes hand in hand with her, shovel lifted over his shoulder to start the walk back to the House of Midnight as he mulls over the options. A thought comes to mind and he flashes her a playful grin, inclining his head slightly toward her as he gives her hand a squeeze. “Think I might have the perfect thing in mind, then.” He decides, before they make it past the edge of the Dreaming Well, handing her the shovel to hold onto before he shifts into that pegasus shift she so adores, waiting for her to climb on so that the trek back doesn’t take quite as long.

And it doesn’t, the whole time spent trying to decide just what he intends on having made, depositing the shovel back into the shed off to the side, beckoning hellos to his workers and frequent customers as he takes Hotaru’s hand to guide her through the heady building toward the kitchens, careless of what kind of rumors this might spark, too. Always ones for gossip, here at the House of Midnight. But Sunjata flashes her a roguish grin, letting her hand go the second they’re in the kitchen. “Pick out whatever you’d like to drink.” He offers, so that he can have a moment to speak privately with the kitchen staff to keep the choice of food a surprise.

at another place in time, only parallel to mine
the universe was alright, when berenstein was fine