i fear i have fallen from grace

And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground

Set directly after {KQ} twinkle, twinkle.

------

Everything was white. For a moment, Soh was literally flying blind as she tried desperately to climb out of the way of Ronin's stars, their brightness blinding in the midnight darkness -

And then came the pain.

So much pain.

With a shriek that was somewhere between bird and human, she hurtled toward the ground, momentarily immobilized by the fire that had caught her right side; it was only instinct that had her flaring her wings to slow her descent, and even then, she was unsteady. She fell more than glided to the ground, tumbling head over heels as she lost control of her shift; when she stopped rolling - dizzy, breathless, hurting - she was human once more, all traces of her snowy owl shift seared away.

She tried to sit up and moaned, her right side aflame; she couldn't bring herself to look down, to see if her arm was still attached to her body. If she had, she'd have seen that her clothes were torn and tattered, revealing a massive stretch of burned skin that began at her shoulder and traced its way down to her hip, the remnants of Ronin's star blasts that had destroyed the moth in the sky - and very nearly destroyed her.

Tarak soared down from above to land beside his bonded, chittering in a tone that was both angry and terrified, hissing furiously at anyone who dared approach - anyone but Koa and Pip, who he recognized as friends, despite their tumultuous past. To them, he scurried, quivering and squawking, as though to herd them closer to Sohalia. Though he couldn't talk, couldn't share his emotions with them as he could with her, everything in his body language screamed, help her, please.

And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now

Sohalia

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

He runs before he thinks, the high of victory collapsing into that lowest, most horrible low. No, his mind screams, no no "no--" And he doesn't know when the internal cry becomes an external whisper, hoarse as a prayer in the winter night.

By the time he reaches her she's shifted back, delicate feathers morphing into silken hair, that ivory skin as pale as snow. "Soh?" Koa whispers, sinking to his knees. A trembling hand traces the curve of her neck, searching desperately for the flutter of a pulse. "Please," he murmurs into the night, voice quavering as only smooth skin greets him. "Please, Soh, you can't - you have to--"

There.

Koa sighs, relief dropping weights from spring-tight shoulders, uncoiling his heart from where it had forgotten how to beat. She's alive, and that knowledge is enough to propel him into action, to jumpstart years of field training and remind him how to do what comes next. "We need a stretcher!" Koa calls to the backup, the medics now coming to the scene.

A calloused palm presses Soh's cheek as he waits, his copper eyes searching for any sign of wakefulness. "Soh, can you hear me? We're gonna get you to the infirmary. You'll be okay."

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground

Perhaps it would have been better if she'd been unconscious, if she could have avoiding the searing pain across her side that drowned out the rest of her injuries. But no, life was not that simple for the young Heart, and her breath came in short, painful gasps as she lay there, ordering her body to move, to shift, to do something. But nothing happened - nothing except a pained whimper that fell from her lips.

There was movement around her, she could tell that much, voices rising and falling in the night as those nearby rushed to her aid. But it was one voice in particular that she locked onto, one voice that pulled her out of her panic and pain. "Koa?" she whispered, feeling the press of his palm against her cheek. She tried again to move, and moaned with pain. Was she dying? Was this what death felt like?

"Koa -" she gasped, breathless and dizzy and panicked, her silver eyes locking onto his face as she struggled not to writhe with agony on the ground. Her thoughts were jumbled through the haze of pain, and all she could make sense of was an encroaching sense of darkness. "Koa - I can't - I'm so sorry," she babbled, her normally cheerful voice low and wheezing. "Just - please - please don't leave."

And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now

Sohalia

A joy hard-learned in winter was the warming of the bed
You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs

She's frail, so terribly, terrifyingly frail, ghostly pale with shocks of blood upon her sallow lips. Fear rakes cold fingers across his heart, the memory of another body pressing towards his mind- but no, there isn't time for that. Grief has no place among the living, and Soh is still alive.

Which isn't to say he is not afraid. Nor is he prepared to leave her, even without her pained request. "I'm right here," he answers, his calloused fingers cupping her cheek as gently as if it were made of glass. "I'm not going to leave you." Only when medics arrive does his hand fall away, the young man standing to give them space to work. Boyish and anxious he peers over their shoulders, shifting his weight to improve his angle, better his view of whatever it is they're doing to stabilize her. And when they lift her he's there to help, following diligently toward the infirmary, a companion scooped under each arm.

Together the trio waits as Soh is taken into surgery, Koa doing his best to soothe the anxious dragonling and griffin chick while his own emotions run wild. And when, at last, Sohalia awakes, she will find the soldier there: his long limbs twisted into an armchair, his head on his shoulder, fast asleep.

Koa Carpenter

Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within
Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin

And I feel like my castle's crumbling down
And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground

Darkness crept ever closer, and with it came fear. If she closed her eyes, if she sank into the blackness that threatened at the corners of her vision, would she ever awake? If these were her last moments in this world, what could she do? What could she say? Memories swirled through her mind, each more fleeting than the last.

Jude - oh, gods, Jude. Their last conversation would have been a fight. They would never have had the chance to make up. She'd have left him endlessly wondering if she'd have chosen him, if he was good enough, if there was a path forward through the wreckage of their relationship. And the guilt. She knew him well enough to know that he'd never forgive himself, either, for letting things go for so long, for not being there for her at the end. Her heart ached, distracting her momentarily, and she opened her mouth to ask Koa -

Koa. Her mouth snapped shut. She couldn't - wouldn't - leave a message for Jude as her last words to the dragoon. If anything, things with Koa were even more messed up than things with Jude. At least she had Jude's promise that they would always be friends. With Koa, she'd probably destroyed any possibility of even that. And yet... here he was, where Jude was not, holding her so gently, promising not to leave. Even though she'd left him, time and again, he was here.

A single tear trickled down her cheek. Her vision blurred. "I - I think -" she started, but she was fading fast now, and she couldn't be sure if she'd said it aloud. I think I loved you.

---

She was groggy when she awoke - so groggy that at first, she didn't realize that she wasn't at home. It could have been just another day, waking before the alarm she'd set the night before, except for a tightness along her right side that hadn't been there before. She shifted in bed and winced as a dull, throbbing pain sharpened her focus. Well, that was new. She couldn't remember what she might have done the day before to elicit such a sudden burst of -

And then it all came rushing back.

The moth, the Spyglass, the battle, the fall, Koa. How she'd begged him to stay with her. How she'd almost given him a message for Jude. How she'd told him -

She paled. Had she actually told him that she'd loved him? Surely not. Surely she hadn't been so idiotic and selfish. For one, she wasn't sure it was even true (although it felt true, in an "oh, shit" kind of way). For another, things were complicated enough without adding that into the mix. And she'd thought she was dying. Why in Caido would she leave Koa with that on her deathbed? That wasn't fair to him. It wasn't fair to anyone.

But then, that seemed to be a recurring theme for Soh, and the young woman blinked away hot tears as she considered that she really was selfish, and horrible, and a shitty person, and that honestly? She'd kind of deserved to get blasted out of the sky.

Then she made the mistake of looking around. And there he was, slumped in an armchair nearby, two companions curled up around him as the trio slept. And her heart leapt and her pulse thundered in her ears, because he was here, and he'd stayed, and he'd been there for her in her darkest moments, and he was still here for her now. He was here for her, just like he always was, despite how horribly she had treated him.

And although it seemed ridiculous after everything she'd put them through, but a little pinprick of adoration blossomed in her heart, and as she watched him sleep, there was only one recurring thought running through her mind.

Well, shit.

-FIN-

And you don't want to know me, I will just let you down
You don't wanna know me now

Sohalia