[SE] The weather outside is frightful

He had meant to meet with Sohalia sooner, but things in Torchline had been... unsettled. More than unsettled, since the start of the new year, and his attentions had been focused entirely on dealing with the fallout of it all at home. It hadn't been until he'd glanced at a calendar and realized how late in the season it was getting that he'd remembered the tentatively set meeting.

Protocol would have him send a letter in advance of official business, but it was not the Heart of Stormbreak the King of Torchline was seeking. It was the mermanta Hadama, wanting to speak to his friend Sohalia.

And so on the night of the full moon, when he had finally set aside his stylus and wax tablet for the day, he Aquaported to the Eye of the Storm and pulled himself from the water.

Not that much changed when he did. Oh, the legs appeared, but he was no less wet as the rain lashed down upon him in sheets. Not that the tall, dark-skin man seemed to mind as he pushed his steely hair back and set out into the storm. His own Stormcall magic rose in response, creating a small counterstorm around him so that he walked in a gentle rain rather than a pounding torrent. There was nothing to be done about the lightning arcing overhead, but it stayed to the lightning rods and clouds, and soon enough he found his way to the Tower. The dragoons on duty were suspicious when he identified himself, but he informed them that he was willing to wait while one of them sent for Sohalia, to let her know that a man named Hadama was cooling his very literal heels downstairs for permission to enter.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

It was the night of the full moon - not that anyone could tell beneath the pounding rain and flashing lightning - and Sohalia was working late. It wasn't that unusual these days for the young Heart to be reading reports and doing paperwork long into the evening - all the better to distract herself from how lonely it was these days at home. Still, when the dragoon on duty appeared at her doorway with an apology and a message from Hadama, the Luminary bolted to her feet and hurried down the stairs. They had talked of meeting soon, but what with everything going on, well... It had never occurred to her that the merking might appear without sending a missive first.

"Hadama!" the girl cried with a smile as she set eyes on her friend. "How are you?" She ignored how strange it was to see him outside of the water, instead rushing to wrap her arms around him in a careful hug. The dragoons nearby returned to their posts, keeping a wary eye on the merking as they went. Soh rolled her eyes before pulling away from Hadama. "Would you like to come up for some tea?"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

It soothed his heart to see the smile on his young friend's face when she saw him, and though her spontaneous hug gave him a moment's surprised pause it was only for a moment. He bent to wrap his arms around her, strong and gentle as he gathered her close and releasing her the moment he felt her pull away. "Sohalia," he greeted, emerald eyes bright. "Tea would be welcome."

He followed her, his pace slow and unhurried but his strides long enough to make up for it. The stairs caused him to hesitate, giving the long spiral a contemplative look like a general preparing himself for battle before he raised his foot to the first tread and began his ascent behind his guide. "You have been missed," he rumbled gently as they made their way up and up and up some more. "How are you?" Though the smudges under her eyes were enough to worry the Tidebreaker into setting aside his own troubles for the moment.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

They made their way slowly to her office, Soh being careful to maintain pace with her friend as they climbed the stairs. How strange it must be, she thought, to come out of the water only once a month! She was suddenly sorry that they hadn't arranged to meet somewhere easier for Hadama to travel, like in the Eye, even if it would have meant getting wet.

When they arrived in her office, she set a kettle to boil over the hearth and listed off a selection of teas from which her friend could choose. She bustled about as the kettle heated - gathering cups and saucers, and even a few biscuits that had been left earlier by a well-meaning employee - and when it whistled, she carefully poured their tea and settled at the conference table with Hadama.

"I'm fine," she said brightly - perhaps, in retrospect, a bit too brightly. The tone rang a little false as she cleared her throat and sipped at her tea, hissing as the scalding liquid burned the top of her mouth. "Careful, it's hot," she said, as though Hadama needed reminding. "We had our welcome event for the Abandoned recently," she hurried to say, determined not to linger on her personal problems and the loneliness that lingered at the edges of her mind. "I think it went well, even if everyone was a little on edge."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

The Eye had, indeed, been the original plan for official business. This was an unplanned personal visit, however, and as such Sohalia could not be held accountable for any difficulties faced by her unexpected guest. Hadama had faced and overcome the stairs at Stormbreak's great observatory on one of his first forays on two legs, and though he'd had little opportunity to practice the skill since he was at least steadier and more confident in his steps now. His pace was measured but confident as he climbed behind her.

There were several teas which Hadama had not heard of; local to Stormbreak, he surmised, and he chose one of them as Sohalia went about the comfortable domestic bustle of welcome, and dried himself by the fire until it seemed safe to ease himself into one of the chairs. He was a larger man than the chair had been intended for, but it was still comfortable and the tea and biscuits were a welcome snack as they settled in to chat.

He listened - and he listened, watching her too-bright smile and her too-quick sip of hot tea. "May I?" he rumbled softly, touching a fingertip to his cup as his eyes sparked briefly sapphire and the steam coming from it abruptly lessened. He gestured to her cup as well with a questioning tilt to his head, waiting for her permission before he altered the temperature of the water within it to something less painful.

"I am sorry I could not be there." He would have liked to have offered her his support and Torchline's approval with his presence, but the timing of things never seemed to be quite in his favor with the moon's phases. "It is good that there was no trouble. You worked hard for that day." And there was pride in the smile that lifted the corners of his mouth even as he inclined his head to her in a nod of respect for her labors. "On behalf of Torchline's Abandoned, thank you."

He took a sip of his own tea, savoring the new flavor and trying to place the notes in it before he swallowed and looked at his young friend again, emerald eyes calm but seeking. After a long moment of silence he stretched his hand across the table and rested it on the dark wood, palm up, without a word.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

It was easier not to think while she had a task to do, even if it was something so simple as preparing tea and biscuits for a guest. But as soon as she sat down, as soon as her body and mind stilled, it jumped once more to sadness. And she was not accustomed to masking her emotions, although it was a skill she had been practicing. But her too-bright smile and her too-quick sip of tea gave her away, she was sure of it. Still, Hadama said nothing, only offering to cool her tea, and she held out her cup gratefully as he altered the temperature of the drink to be more pleasant. "Thank you," she murmured, then tried another sip. It was much better this time, and the girl relaxed back into her chair.

When she smiled at Hadama's praise, it was a true smile, if a little tired. She was proud of what they had accomplished in allowing the Abandoned into the city. "I am just pleased that they are welcome now. I hope that they will feel that they are, anyway. I have heard of no problems thus far."

Lightning flashed outside, drawing Soh's eyes to the window. It had been unusually stormy of late, and the girl wasn't sure what to make of it. When she looked back at Hadama, he had rested his hand across the table, palm up, watching her with an almost searching look. After a moment's hesitation, she reached out to take the offered hand in silence, swallowing hard to try to rid herself of the sudden lump in her throat.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

He was glad to see her beginning to relax, and gladder still to see her smile. She had worked hard to open Stormbreak's doors and from what he had heard the celebration had been largely a success. If there had been any problems since then no Torcher had come to him about it, so he remained hopeful that the undertaking continued to live up to expectations.

But it was not as a leader that he had come, and there was more to Sohalia than being Stormbreak's Heart. He waited patiently until she noticed his hand, and once she had rested her own within it he closed his fingers around hers and squeezed gently.

"You do not need to tell me what is wrong," he rumbled, his voice a soft echo of the thunder outside. "But I see you, Sohalia. And if it would help to talk, I would be honored to listen. And to help, if I can."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Sohalia stared at their intertwined hands, her indecision plain on her young face. She liked and trusted Hadama, and he was her friend - but he was also the leader of another region, and revealing the reasons for her pain to him felt somehow irresponsible. She was supposed to be the Heart. She was supposed to be strong. She was supposed to be a great many things - and yet, here she was.

"It's stupid," she said finally, swallowing the lump in her throat. "It's just - personal things. I shouldn't let it get to me like this, but -" A flash of lightning lit the room, a peal of thunder rumbling close behind. She looked up at the ceiling, into the fire in the hearth, anywhere but at Hadama. "Do you ever feel lonely? Being a leader?" she asked, glancing surreptitiously up at him as she took a sip of her tea.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

He was patient and he waited quietly, holding her hand as long as the connection helped. He had failed to approach Harper when his co-leader had been suffering, trusting that his friend would come to him when he was ready.

That trust had been in vain, and that day had never come. Hadama blamed himself for not speaking up, and though he couldn't change the past, he could strive not to make the same mistake again with another friend.

But he could not force Sohalia to speak, so he remained still and serene, attempting to offer no judgment no matter her choice. The storm held no fear for him, and when the words did emerge they were listened to solemnly and he bowed his head in understanding, though it was the final question that had him raising it again to meet her lowered glance with frank sincerity.

"Yes," he said quietly. "Always." He squeezed her hand again before retrieving his own so that he could balance his cup in large fingers and sip his own tea in contemplation. "It is hard to find people to confide in. Hard to trust them enough to show weakness." He paused, then inclined his head at her. "Hard to admit weakness. Not when so many depend on me." He hesitated, weighing whether to continue, then sighed. It was his turn to look down into his cup and the light reflected from the water there. "And when I did allow myself to depend on someone else... the weight of supporting me broke him." There had been so much more to it than that, but that much had been plain enough in the letter.

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

If only she was as calm and collected as Hadama... would she had managed to get herself into so many tangles? Maybe that stoicism equated to distance, and maybe that was the secret that kept Hadama from breaking. Perhaps that should be her answer to all that plagued her - to withdraw, to build walls, to keep her bleeding heart from her sleeve. She was tired of being hurt, tired of hurting others, tired of feeling. Better that it be nothing than this gaping hole where her heart once was.

But then, as Hadama spoke, she understood. He was anything but cold and unfeeling, no matter how patient and still and serene he might appear. Those qualities were not mutually exclusive.

So she squeezed the hand she still held in silent recognition that she was not the only one hurting, nor would it be fair to monopolize the conversation as if she was. Still, she wasn't sure what to say. "It doesn't seem fair, does it?" she said finally, her voice sad and hollow and pained. "Is it worth it?" She raised her eyes to Hadama's. "To keep trying, even when everything is just..." Her throat closed and she swallowed against the lump that appeared there. "Maybe we're better off standing alone."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

Patience was something he had needed to learn over decades, and serenity something that had required practice to master. He had been a very different young man when he had been Sohalia's age; proud to the point of arrogance in some ways, moody and prickly and so very self-conscious of his faults in others, and impulsive enough that he had regrets that would follow him to his grave.

But as long as he learned from those mistakes and tried not to make them again, he had found that he could live with himself.

He had been lonely before he had become king, and taking on that honor and duty had done little to change that. Little... but not nothing. He raised his gaze from his tea to meet Sohalia's eyes, and though there was weariness in the set of his mouth and the crease in his brow, there was also a small smile. He reached across the table once more to cover her hand gently, offering physical reassurance along with his words. "We are not alone," he said, his voice soft and deep and warm. "I have you. And Evie. And Phoebe. And Noah." Who was not currently a leader, but who had been, once, and knew the weight of it. "And you have us." And perhaps Soh could still have Harper as well, though Hadama had lost that right.

Thunder rumbled outside the window, but it was a softer and more distant sound, the storm shifting to another part of the city. The mermanta's smile faded to solemnity as he searched his young friend's face. "Why did you choose to become Stormbreak's Heart? And do those reasons still hold true?"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Sohalia never would have been able to imagine Hadama as anything but calm, serene, stoic - certainly not as a proud, arrogant young man. Perhaps it would have reassured her, had she but realized how much people change in the course of a lifetime. But then, that was part of living, wasn't it? Learning that nothing lasts forever, that this too shall pass, and that she would probably be very different in five, ten, twenty years than she was right now.

But maybe it would just have scared her.

Hadama's hands were warm on hers, and she ventured a small smile at his reassurance that they were not alone. And maybe it wasn't the kind of companionship she had been wanting, but maybe it was what she'd been needing. At Hadama's question, Soh looked away. She'd never felt qualified for her role in Stormbreak. But she forced her gaze back to his before she answered. "I didn't want the city to fall apart, and nobody else wanted to do anything. I wanted to give what I could to make the region stronger, and better, and... I don't know. I just felt like Stormbreak deserved for someone to care about it. I still do. Stormbreak is - it's - there's so much good here, and so much potential, and I just want to see it thrive."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia

Her eyes slipped away from his, but in spite of the difficulty of his question she met his gaze once more only a moment later, her voice clear and stronger than she realized. He nodded slowly in understanding as she began, and he did so again as she came to the end of her answer. He let the storm growl and roar outside the Tower's protection, and when it finally quieted again his own soft voice was gentle in comparison.

"That is how I became King of the Merfolk. And for the same reasons," he added, giving Sohalia's fingers a companionable squeeze before he reached once more for his tea in order to take a thoughtful sip and savor its exotic spice. "And when Maeve needed to step down, I took over leadership of the land side. It needed doing. And there was no one else willing." He hesitated, slowly lowering his cup back to its saucer. "Now... that has changed. But I am uncertain I am ready to trust another co-ruler so soon. Not when I have watched two leave in as many years."

He inclined his head in acknowledgment of the differences of their circumstances, returning his steady gaze to Sohalia's in curiosity. "Is there anyone you could take as a co-ruler to share the burden? Or anyone else willing to lead Stormbreak if you step down?"

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to say goodbye

Sohalia spoke, and then she listened. What was it about Caido that left lands leaderless, that forced people like them into positions of power if only to keep their regions from falling into disarray and ruin? It was arguably the most selfless reason to choose to rule - better, perhaps, than being a power-mad villain - but did it make for being a good leader?

In Hadama's case, at least, the king had seemed to be thriving - at least to Sohalia's untrained eye. But their conversation had surprised her. That she and Hadama shared their reasons for leading, that they shared in this loneliness - it made her wonder if she was not, perhaps, as alone as she might have feared. If, maybe, there were others willing to share her burden. She'd been so afraid of appearing weak - even with her own council. Perhaps that fear had been misguided.

"I don't know," Sohalia mused, her voice stronger now that she knew that Hadama understood - and what's more, he understood her in a way that none of her other friends could. "I have my council, but none of them were interested in ruling, although their guidance is valued and appreciated. I think... if I was going to accept a co-ruler, I'd want them to feel for Stormbreak what I do, and be willing to work hard alongside me to make things better. But I don't know if there is anybody like that - and if I stepped down, I'm not sure that anyone would be leaping to take my place."

Everyone wants to see heaven
But no one wants to die

Sohalia