can't take it back

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Sohalia was past tipsy and well on her way to drunk, and if she had anything to say about it, she'd keep going straight to wasted.

She'd never been to Mother Molly's before, but tonight had seemed like as good a time to visit as any. She'd tucked herself away in a corner, all the better to observe the goings on, and ordered drink after drink. The buzz in her veins was pleasant, the distance from her worries even better, and for once, it was easy to just sit in silence and just... be.

What was it Harper had said? Carnal pleasure is the closest mimicry of happiness a body can know. He'd been drunk when he'd said it, but maybe it was true. Maybe if she just let go, just for once, and forgot about everything - maybe she'd feel better in the morning. Maybe, for th briefest of moments, she'd feel less alone.

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

To say Ellyra was happy to be back in Stormbreak was an understatement, but there were parts of King’s End that the young woman did miss. Like The House of Midmight. Like Hawthorn.

Well, mostly Hawthorn.

But, anyway. Ellyra was at Mother Molly’s to get a drink and feel something after work rather than going straight home. What she found, however, was a surprise. ”Soh?” Ellyra asked, slinking in close to her friend and putting a hand on her knee. ”What are you doing down here?” She cradled her bubbly, reddish drink in her other hand to keep it from spilling.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Soh was on the fence, you see. There was an intimacy that she craved, but seeing as she had no relationship anymore, there was no one to share it with. Still, she'd never been much of a brothel kind of girl - so she clung to the shadows, nursing a fruity drink that she knew would be dangerous since she couldn't taste the alcohol, mentally cataloguing the people in the room she found attractive - and hating herself for it. What kind of person was she, to be sitting here in the dim light, judging people based on their looks?

She was too much of a romantic, and that was the damn problem. She downed the rest of her drink in a rush and signaled for another.

A familiar voice made her jump, and she peered at Ellyra through hazy eyes. "Oh, hey 'Llyra," she murmured, accepting her next drink from one of the workers with a word of thanks. "I'm getting drunk," she announced next, offering her friend a wobbly grin and a raised glass for a toast. "What're you doing?"

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

Fortunately, Ellyra didn’t share the same romantic ideals that SoHalia held. Ellyra could compartmentalize sex and romance into two different spots and thus made a wonderful brothel-goer. But her friend, no, she wasn’t one to frequent such establishments.

Ellyra’s brows drew together with concern. Whatever caused the owl to be in such a place, drowning herself the way she was, certainly must be bad. She imagined that other world leaders got drunk in the privacy of their home or office, rather than outright in public with a scrutinizing eye.

But Ellyra wasn’t one to judge, but she remembered the fear and grief on Sohalia’s face the last time she had found her after a terrible circumstance had happened. So she swallowed herself down, and steeled herself with the soul of her shift, and nodded. ”Sounds like we’re doing the same thing.” She lied. ”Let’s do it together.” and she lifted her glass to clink against Sohalia’s in cheers, and then took a drink.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

It was probably a bad idea - and one that Soh would regret come morning - but for right now, she couldn't give a flying fuck about her responsibilities. For once - just once - she wanted to forget about all of the burdens and just let go. Was that so much to ask?

So she smiled a lopsided smile at her friend as their glasses clinked together and took another sip of her drink. "I've never been to Molly's before," she confided. "I was kind of afraid to come, but 's not so bad." Her gaze roved back around the room, noting a handsome blonde man on the other side of the room and a buxom brunette who'd caught her eye a few times. This was a bad idea, but hey, no one had said she couldn't look, right? Even if the dark, twisted feeling in her chest said she should be anywhere but here.

She took another swig.

"Boys suck," she informed Ellyra. "Maybe that's my problem. I've only fallen for boys, when I should've been going for girls."

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

"No, its not." Ellyra agreed, sending a comforting pulse over the attuned bond to her friend. She took another glass and settled in next to Sohalia, tucking her legs up beneath her, but staying close enough to touch the Heart. When she took another drink of her spritz, and Sohalia detailed her next opinion, Ellyra's brows lifted.

"That bad, huh?" she asked. She had never really known Soh to wallow over such things, but, had they really had that much to wallow over before? Not really. Both women were fairly young, and out of all the boys they grew up around, there weren't many to write home about. It seemed, though, that the Luminary had discovered something different in Stormbreak. "What was his name?" She asked, shooting her friend a look with waggled eyebrows.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Why were all of her emotions so big? Even the comforting pulse through the Attuned bond wasn't enough to block out the rampant self-loathing running through her veins. She stared into her glass. It was the alcohol, wasn't it? Well, if she could figure that out, then she clearly hadn't had enough to drink. It certainly wasn't enough to block out Jude's hatred.

"Jude," she said softly, pain evident in her voice. Tears filled her eyes. She took another drink.

Then she laughed, a sniffling, warbling sound that was more sad than it was funny. "Turns out I suck at being a girlfriend," she told her friend. "And I'm not that great a friend, either. And I'm probably doing a shitty job as Heart, too." Was she being perhaps a bit overdramatic? Sure. But she was a nineteen-year-old girl going through her first heartbreak. She was allowed to be dramatic.

"You know, it's not even about the love part," she said, leaning against Ellyra without a care in the world for personal space. "He was supposed to be my best friend, and I screwed it up. I screwed it all up."

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

Ellyra tried to pinpoint a face when she said the name Jude, but the woman couldn't. She scrunched up her features and took another drink, lifting her chin slightly to encourage her friend to do the same. With her other hand, she motioned for the waitress and indicated they would like two more.

"Soh, listen." She commanded her friend, squeezing her hand encouragingly. "You are a good leader -- no one even volunteered to lead this place after the war. We were all just existing. You're doing something, and that's worht celebrating. No dickhead stupid ass boy is going to change that." She squeezed her hand again, just in time for the waitress the bring back more drinks for them.

"And, we are in a place where you can forget all about him. I bet that guy," she indicated to the blonde that she noticed the owl catch eyes with earlier, "can do things with his tongue that Jude couldn't even fathom." Her nose wrinkled dramatically with the way she hissed his name.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Fortunately for Soh, Ellyra was a good friend, and in this context, a 'good friend' meant one who would order more drinks. She went to take a sip of her existing drink only to find that it was empty, and she set it down with a soft huff as she waited for the next round. Ellyra's words were kind and uplifting, and Soh's lower lip trembled as she took them in. "Do you really think so?" she asked in a tiny voice, silver eyes meeting Ellyra's hopefully. Would she remember the girl's praise in the morning? Maybe not. But for right now, it meant the world.

As for the guy across the bar, Soh's eyes grew round and her cheeks flushed. She leaned in closer. "I've never... you know," she whispered. "I kept thinking that it would be Jude, but now..." She swallowed hard and snatched up her new drink. "I don't even know why I came here. I thought maybe I could forget about him for a while, but here I am." She laughed mirthlessly. "Doing nothing but thinking about him."

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

Ellyra's eyes widened for a moment. It was a mix of both shock and, in a higher concentration, respect for the owlette. Wiping her face of the exression with a broad grin, not to get Sohalia trapped in the shock, Ellyra tucked her arm in with Soh's and she leaned back against the booth. "Then we drink." She said, offering her glass for her friend to tink her's, and then sipped. "And we flirt. And we watch. And we drink." She winked to the leader beside her.

Ellyra leaned in against Sohalia's ear, lips brushing against it as she whispered. "The more the people here think you know, the more intrigued they will be. Sitting and drinking and laughing, it'll entice them. You're unavailable, untouchable. It'll drive everyone in this place crazy and they'll all be crawling for you." the lioness' mouth twisted up in a playful, cruel way, before she took another drink.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Soh didn't miss the way Ellyra's eyes widened at her admission, and she flushed, feeling a cold, sinking feeling in her stomach that felt something like shame. While she knew in her mind that there was no rushing these things, and that there was nothing wrong with her having kept her virginity for this long, she couldn't help but feel... different. Strange. Less than. Not because of Ellyra, but perhaps because of her own intentions - she would have slept with Jude, had he ever initiated anything. Maybe there was a part of her that wondered whether there was something wrong with her. After all, why hadn't he? (Other than them both being painfully shy, of course.)

Whatever. Maybe it was just the drinks talking.

So she huffed to herself and took another drink. Maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could drown it all out.

When Ellyra leaned in close, her lips brushing against Soh's ear, the girl shivered despite herself. There was something transfixing in the lioness's words, enough so that Soh missed the cruelty of it. And when Ellyra sat back in her seat to take another drink, Soh looked at her sidelong. "It's really that simple?" she murmured, cocking her head to one side. Of course, simplicity had nothing to do with it, not when her emotions were as tangled and fraught as they were right now. But could she fake the type of confidence that Ellyra spoke of?

Maybe she would have to find out.

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

"For you? Easy as that. Same could be said for any member of your council. Power is enticing. Power is protection. Everyone in here would give their left arm for the goods that comes with being the leader." Ellyra said, her voice low and meant only for Soh as she twirled the stick of orange peel and rosemary garnish in her drink.

Ellyra let her eyes sweep over the crowded bar area, long and drawn out enough for even the inebriated Sohalia to follow. She stopped over any that were gawking about them, leaning in to their friends and jutting their chins in their direction. "See? They all want you, Soh." Or to be her. Or to eat her. Or all of the above.

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour

Wake me up, I've been asleep for too long
Caught in a dream, time goes on and on

Maybe it was the alcohol (let's be honest, it was probably the alcohol), but the thought of being the center of attention - something that Soh had never craved before - was intoxicating. She followed Ellyra's gaze around the bar, her silver eyes lingering on several of the workers and patrons who were clearly watching her. A sober Sohalia would have been embarrassed, but a drunk Sohalia? She turned back to Ellyra with a hint of a smile on her lips.

Still, no amount of inebriation had prepared her for what to actually do with that information. Sure, she could see what Ellyra was talking about, but as for what came next? Even drunk, she wasn't about to lose her virginity to any of the random people who watched her from the corners of their eyes (even if that had been half of her plan when she'd arrived). What had Ellyra said? That they would drink, and flirt, and laugh - and maybe, at the end of the day, that was all she really needed, anyway.

So she allowed herself the drunken feeling of empowerment that came in a rush at Ellyra's words, smiled at her friend, and took another sip of her drink. Maybe Ellyra was right. Why mope, when she could be having fun?

Maybe I shouldn't be speaking too soon
Maybe I shouldn't believe in you

Sohalia

Ellyra's eyes sparkled mischievously as she twirled the garnish in her drink. The crowded bar became a river full of salmon for the taking as her gaze swept across the room, a deliberate pause over those who couldn't help but gawk. Ellyra, seizing the opportunity, extended her hand with a flourish. "Come on, Soh. Let's give them a show they won't forget!"

The two friends blended into the dance floor seamlessly, their laughter merging with the music, creating a spectacle that captured the attention of everyone around them. In that moment, Ellyra's words proved true – the power of their dynamic duo was an irresistible force on the dance floor, drawing others into their orbit.

FIN

ellyra

head and heart a rival war watch the bullets downpour