keep my hand in yours

She hadn't been trying. Not hard enough. Not the way he had.

When he told her that they would have to move to the Grounds, Cordelia hadn't fought him. She didn't stomp her foot or curse Vi for the punishment laid upon his shoulders. That's what she saw it as. A punishment. No other word was fitting enough.

Even still, the One Shot hadn't brought her warmth with them. She was there in the ways that were necessary; taking care of the twins, asking him about his day when he came home, doing her best to meet those residing in the Grounds. It wasn't enough, though. It wasn't nearly enough. Not when he needed her to be his partner. His rock. The soft place to land when he came home beaten from another fruitless day.

Her mother made that all to clear when she came home with the twins, tail tucked between her legs, and eyes downcast. "Delia, you made a vow to that man." She had said firmly, fixing her eldest daughter with a stern look that nearly brought tears to the Attuned's eyes. Cordelia had made a vow and yet here she was, hiding.

It was then that she resolved to fix things. To be the wife and partner that Noah deserved. That he needed.

Traveling back wasn't the easiest. Especially loaded down with all the items she was bringing back from Halo. All necessary, she told herself.

The house was empty and cold as she stepped inside. No signs of anyone living there aside from a stale crust of bread left on the counter from the one bakery in town. She sighed heavily, already reaching to tie up her hair, resigning herself to  hours worth of work. Cordelia wasn't sure at what time she finished, having spent all day cleaning and unpacking, transforming the interior of their home until it resembled the one they left behind in Halo.

Cordelia glanced up at the clock, anxiously awaiting her husband's arrival as she gave the stew another stir before flitting to the oven to pull out the fresh bread, stomach beginning to flutter with nerves.

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

Eira smelled it first. Despite the pouring rain and the roaring thunder, the griffin, with her keen senses, smelled the familiar scent of Luxere stew over the fire. She pulsed and pulled in Noah’s mind, echoing the rotating image of one thing: Cordelia.

Noah ran. His heavy, booted feet were too slow for the rapid pace of his heart. They had been gone in Halo for a few weeks. It was enough for Noah’s heart to nearly collapse in their absence, and knowing that she could be here, in their temporary Hollowed Grounds home, made everything within him shine and burst like the jubilee.

Noah gripped Vi’dore’s mane and slung himself up at a run while the beast trotted, and then they were off. The unicorn sprinted through the streets of the domiciles, unafraid of the mud and puddles and water. His cloven hooves were steady and sure, and his horned head ran level with his shoulders as he brought his bond mate home to his wife.

He opened the door and nearly had to wrestle through his two companions, both unicorn and griffin excited and happy to see the woman. Eira trilled and danced around the entryway, rain water and grime slinging over boots and coats, but she held no other care in the world. Vi’dore stayed on the covered porch area, but he stamped the ground and flung his great head around in celebration.

She was ho—she was here.

Noah didn’t even have time to take off his coat or his boots. Every atom, every cell, every fiber of his being pulled him to her. He gripped her around the waist, pulling her in to his sopping wet body, and he kissed her. Deeply and gently and beautifully and full of all the love he held for her he kissed her.

Cordelia twirled around, back pressing against the stove at the sudden onslaught of emotions that rolled over her, all of them echoing one thing love. Her mouth opened, preparing to scold the trio for tracking mud all over her freshly cleaned floors, brows pinching together as her hands went to her hips. "Noah Olson! You know better than to-" But her words are cut off as her bear of a husband scooped her into his arms, uncaring that her dress was soaked through in seconds. His hair dripped on her cheeks, skin cold from the rain, but his lips were gently demanding against her own.

A honey sweet sigh slipped past her lips as she melted into him, arms wrapping around his neck as her legs mirrored the motion at his waist, lashes fluttering shut as she kissed him back. Slender fingers found their way into his dripping hair, nails scratching at the nape of his neck, drawing him all the deeper into their kiss. Only when her lungs began to burn, demanding that she gasp for breath, did the One Shot draw back.

Dropping her forehead against his, a faint flush on her now wet cheeks, Cordelia let a smile settle onto her kiss swollen lips. "Welcome home, my heart." She murmured, thumb brushing across his cheek bone lightly as their bond tangled together, becoming one once more. "I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I had to gather some things before I returned." It would be obvious what she meant as soon as Noah took a moment to look.

Family pictures now hung on the walls and decorated surfaces, the quilt she'd spent time crafting was folded lightly across the back of the couch, a few of the dried bouquets he'd gotten her hung upside down or rested in vases. The newest hanging right by their wedding portrait. There was more that couldn't be seen. Like the furs that adorned their bed now, having been carefully brought back from Halo to cover their new wedding bed or the books that lined the shelves, carefully curated over years and years.

"Are you hungry? I made your favorite." His wife breathed, dropping her head back down so her lips brushed his as she spoke, forming every letter against his own. She could feel the goosebumps rising on her skin, the thin linen of her dress doing nothing to keep out the chilly rain water that covered his own clothing.

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

Noah didn't notice how his companions settled them in. Vi'dore stood in his usual guard at the door while Eira used her body to shut it, to keep the rain at bay. While he didn't notice, he was thankful for them anyways. Their excitement thrummed along the deep corners of their soul bond. Seeing Cordelia here made them feel an ease and joy they hadn't felt since her and the twins returned to Halo.

Noah, soaking arms devouring his wife, didn't want to move. The heat in his belly rose and consumed him all over. He no longer registered that he was sopping wet and disgusting from racing through muddy and wet streets. It didn't matter. All the mattered was her, here, with him, in his arms. Her scolding was lost on him as he buried his lips into her face. When she broke the kiss Noah sighed, his eyes slipping closed at the burning touch of her forehead against his. The breath that followed his sigh was just as shaky as he tightened his grip on her back, bunching linen in his broad and calloused hands.

"I missed you." He declared, the tone of his voice dismissing her unnecessary apology. "Are the twins sleeping, or are they with your parents?" He asked, keeping his eyes closed as he savored the closeness of her body. While it had only been a few weeks since she packed up to visit their true home, every hour without her was agony in his mind, in his heart. He let his eyes open and his head come up as her lips brushed against his--trying to stop her from turning her head with his own lips, but  to no avail. "Oh?" He asked, head tilting as he looked over her shoulder and down at the stove. It's what Eira had scented first, through the sheets of rain. Noah's smile was soft as it reached for his ears.

It was only at the faintest hint of her body shivering in his arms that he remembered he was wet. He blinked and took a begrudging step back from her (go back, his heart screamed). "I better change, then, so we can have dinner." He smiled through his words, glacier eyes having a hard time leaving her's as he forced himself to turn and go to the bedroom.

Truly, Cordelia didn't care that there was mud on her floor or that her dress was streaked with it. She didn't care because it meant he was home. The One Shot melted into his embrace, holding him all the closer as his hands tightened at the small of her back, keeping her held steadily aloft. "I missed you too." And she had. An aching starting in her heart as soon as she left his side. It was how it had always been, but the Attuned hadn't realized just how much of him she'd been missing.

"They're with my parents. Just for tonight. I'll go and retrieve them tomorrow, but I wanted us to have some time together." The meaning behind her words crystal clear along their twisted bond, mixing with the heat that was already pooling deep in his belly, chasing away the chill of the rain. A chill she was happy to ignore if it meant he remained pressed against her, but he withdrew, setting her bare feet back onto the worn wooden floor. Noah made it barely a step before her hands found the front of his jacket, curling into the lapels with a steadfast grip, "Perhaps I should help you..."

Her honeyed gaze flitted up to his, lips twisting into a smile as she pushed his jacket from his shoulders, uncaring as it fell onto the floor with a wet slap. Fingertips traced along the broad expanse of his shoulders and chest, slipping along his waist to his sides, tugging loose the damp fabric of his shirt from the top of his pants. She stopped there, a dark brow arching as her head tilted to the side, examining his features as if she'd been gone for years instead of weeks. "Unless you'd prefer to go about it yourself?"

The playful current in her voice couldn't be missed as she inched his shirt up, lantern light bathing her in an otherworldly glow, doing nothing to hide the transparency of her dress now that it was soaked through with rain water. Cordelia paused, fighting her smirk as she waited for her husband's response.

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

"Just for tonight..." He repeated, words murmured. Instinctively his arms went up away from his sides when she tugged at his shirt, loosening it from the waist of his pants. His heart fluttered and his belly turned as he looked down at her hands, desire and white-hot heat already pulsing through his body. When she asked if he wanted to go alone, his head shot up, mouth opening from the force of the movement. He shook his head, cheeks jiggling dumbly. He didn't want to do anything alone, especially undress -- especially what could follow undressing. He swallowed a hard lump in his throat and grabbed her right forearm, tugging her along with him as he walked backwards over his muddy footprints.

His eyes couldn't leave hers now. No, not with the promise of her touch and the closeness of her body so clearly near. He kicked his boots off as he walked with the skill of a silently stalking lion, though he moved through their house like a bull in a china shop with total disregard for chairs, rugs, or other furniture in his way. His hip bumped against the edge of a leathered armchair and he bounced off it like a log down a rocky river bank. All he could think of was her. Their children were safe in the caring arms of Cordelia's parents -- whom Noah trusted inexplicably -- so this reunion was wholly focused on merging and twisting and continuing to build on their marriage.

He let her pull off whatever she wanted to, his eyes searching her body hungrily as his hands found her hips again, pulling her against him as his shoulder bumped the bedroom door open. He went for her mouth with a tenderness that was ever present, but his tongue danced at her lips and begged for entry with a craving that only she could satisfy. He pushed up the linen of her dress, wanting to pull the fabric up and toss it away. He broke their kiss only with enough time to do such, before his lips found the curve of her cheek and claimed it with a trail of kisses, his tongue sliding down the length of her neck before he bit at her collarbone.

Rising onto her tip toes, Cordelia tugged his shirt off and over his head, tossing it onto the slowly growing pile of clothes at their feet. Her laugh is bright and melodic, bottom lip catching between her teeth as she smiles up at his dumb expression, unable to help herself. A swooping caught her stomach, twisting it and causing it to flutter in anticipation, knowing exactly where they were going to end up. Her sweet, devoted husband had been so patient and she was finally here. Here and ready to be everything he needed.

Stumbling over her own feet, toes catching in the folds of fabric of his discarded clothes, the One Shot doesn't stop him from drawing her forward. Each stumble and bump more endearing than the last as he refused to look anywhere but at her. He clearly hadn't learned the layout of this house like he had their home in Halo. Had he been there, he would have been able to carry her to their bed with his eyes closed, but apparently not here and she loved him all the more for it.

Dexterous fingers worked they made their way through the house, ridding him of his belt and the button of his trousers, close to pushing those off too. She only hesitated for fear of making him trip further on their way to the bedroom. Accepting his kiss happily, Cordelia tilted her head up towards him, sighing once more into his mouth as his tongue swept out to taste her. Calloused hands pushed up the linen of her dress, revealing pale skin to the warm air, the contrast making her shiver in against him.

Then it was on the floor, too, joining the rest of the clothing they'd shed along the way. Her head fell back, fingers curling against his shoulders to steady herself as he kissed along her skin, igniting a trail of flames in his wake. The desire for his touch only rose, longing to be tangled with him in their bed once more, causing her heart to beat out a staccato against her ribs. "Noah.." She whispered, fingers winding into his hair and tugging him up, making him meet her eyes as she drew in a short breath, unsure of what she wanted to say, but needing him to look at her all the same.

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

Noah helped her along into derobing him so he stood before her with the same nakedness as she. He wrapped his arms around her as he placed more kisses along her shoulders, pulling her towards the bed. He felt the furs brush against the back of his knees and he was confident of what they were. They covered the cotton and flannel blankets they had used before, and Noah’s breath hitched in his throat as celestial energy pulsed in waves around his body. He kept his glowing eyes closed, sitting on the bed and pulling her onto his lap.  

Noah reveled in her presence, drinking in her pleasure with every wave of his own. He knew every curve of her body, every mar on her skin, every delicate freckle and yet he did not tire of it. His hands roamed his wife and he dedicated every bit of her to memory as if he had never had her before, never knew her.

But he did know her. Everything about her. Every secret, every dream. Every fear, every love. He knew what made her smile, frown, scowl, bark, laugh, cry, and cum.

He knew it. He knew her. She handed him her soul in a way that no other had ever trusted him with, and he held it carefully in his hands and nurtured it — giving it every need it had. He demonstrated that now, as he moaned with the way her body moved. He demonstrated it then, when he let her go back to Halo and rub a balm on her heart.

When they finished, he lay beside her, stroking her hair in soft, broad strokes and staring into her eyes. The flush of his cheeks matched her’s, and he sighed as their legs intertwined. ”I missed you.”

It was easy to fall into him. To lose herself in his touch, eyes, and the emotions rolling off of him in waves along their bond. His pleasure an echo chamber to her own. Each brush of his lips sending her higher, threatening to consume her from the inside out as their hips rolled in tandem, nails biting into his skin as she steadied herself against him.

She felt as if she'd never been with him before. As if she hadn't ever known him in this way. Except she had. She knew him the same way she knew herself. Noah wasn't a stranger. Not in any way, but her husband. Her lover. Her mate. He had grown distant from her due to her own actions, but in this moment... In this shared breath... They were one once more.

Cordelia saw him for what he was. Stripped down to the bone, to his essence, and her heart swelled at the reminder as she reached the height of her pleasure. His name on her lips as she tipped over the edge.

Laying tangled together in their bed, the soft lantern light dancing across their skin, Cordelia met his gaze. She smiled gently, leaning into his touch with a sigh, fingers tracing across his skin lightly as he drew her close. "I missed you too." She murmured, brushing her thumb across his jaw, "But I'm here now. For good. However you need me."

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

For long, warm moments Noah just lay with his wife. His fingers danced over her exposed skin, softer than even the richest of fabrics. He drank in her scent and basked in her warmth against him. He realized that this was the first time in a long time that they had been so deeply intimate. Not physical — but intimate. To know her so suddenly and so fiercely, to be known so deeply. He had missed it — missed her — in the truest sense of it all.

He took a deep breath, her scent calming every nerve.

”My quest is almost done. I was finishing up my last task with Sah when Eira scented you.” He said, running his fingers along the back of her hand. ”I’m ready to call Vi. To show him what I’ve done.” His glacier eyes traced the outline of her hand, as if he were inspecting it—like it were new and he had more of it to commit to memory. ”I’ve been so shattered. My heart, my soul — I’ve been putting myself first for far too long and masking it with serving others. I hesitated when Vi gave me clear direction because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I’ve not only had to deal with that on my own, but I’ve forced our family to suffer the consequences as well. It wasn’t fair of me to pull you all away from Halo, away from the people who love and support you. Pull you away from your parents, sisters, from Deimos, Sah…I’m sorry, Delia.”

She almost slipped away into a gentle slumber. Her limbs warm and heavy, soothed by the caress of his fingers over her skin, cheek pillowed against his chest. The steady thrum of his heart beneath her ear urging her to release all the remaining worry and simply melt into him. His voice stirred her instead, causing her head to lift as she looked down at him, brows knitting together to form a slight crease.

Her heart squeezed at his words, guilt swelling as he apologized, knowing deep down that she made it harder for him. Harder than it ever had to be.

Shaking her head, the One Shot lifted a hand to his cheek, "Please don't apologize to me, Noah... I didn't make it any easier for you." She murmured, lips pressing into a thin line, "Whether it was fair or not... I am your wife. Your partner. I should have been at your side willingly, helping you with your task, and being there when you needed me." A heavy sigh pushed past her lips, a tightening stirring in her chest and rising in her throat as tears threatened to slip down her cheeks. "If I had then maybe... Maybe you wouldn't have struggled so much."

The wave of guilt threatened to drown her, to pull her down so deeply she'd never see the light again. Here he was, laying himself at her feet, apologizing to her when she should be the one saying sorry to him.

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

Noah and Cordelia had built their friendship, and then their love, at working shoulder to shoulder with one another. From their time exiled from Halo and working towards surviving in the wilds and coming home, they had always worked. And before that, it was not uncommon for the two of them to be in hunting parties with each other. Noah had spent a great deal of time hunting with her father, even when his own was alive. Not having her to do that with him these last years had been...tough.

The war did quite a number on her.

"I have every need to apologize. I wasn't there when you needed me the most, either. Too wrapped up in duty to help you put the pieces of yourself back together. Your reputation in this world was tarnished because of your love for me, because of my selfishness. I caused you to hide away for so long." He could feel the lump starting in his throat, and he swallowed it down forcefully.

Noah pulled her in a little closer to him, breath hitching. "We have not stood on the vows we made to each other, just as I shied away from my vow to Vi. I think it's time we change that."

Cordelia hadn't ever shied away from hardship. She was raised in Halo. She was brought up in the harsh climate of their world that required you to either survive or die. Cordelia was built to last. That's what she had always thought. She could weather any storm. Overcome any obstacle. As long as she had her family behind her and her companions beside her.

That was until the war. Until she was asked to keep herself alive. To run. To be there when he came home. It's what she did. She ran, she waited, she counted down the moments for him to return. All because he asked her to.

The One Shot pressed closer to him, burying her face against his chest as her own throat tightened, breath catching painfully in her chest. "Noah, don't... I would do it again. Every time. You must know that. I would choose you always. In this life and the next." She murmured against his throat, drawing back as tears began to catch in her lashes.

The mention of their vows is what causes the tears to finally slide down her cheeks. By Vi's strength I will cherish and protect you, nourish your heart and challenge your mind. His words echoed through her mind, the vow he made in front of their friends and family. The vow she made in return. I will never part from you for as long as I live.

It seems they had both fallen short of their promises to each other.

"I'm sorry I left you, my heart. I'm so sorry."

Cordelia

My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War

It's too much to bear my darlin', the weight of the world

And I would carry it for you

He wrapped his arms around her and really pressed her body against his. He burned against her, and her him. He felt the sparks across the bond of grief and of broken promises, and he sobbed. It wracked his body and he tightened his arms. He wanted to beg her not to leave, to promise all that he would give her, to thank her for her vulnerability and her love and everything she had sacrificed for him. No matter what, she never turned away from him. Even when she turned away from the rest of her world, she never let her eyes leave him.

Noah didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve to be loved in such a way when he had spent that time loving taking it all for granted. Looking constantly to the "duties" he had. Masking his own selfishness with the whitewashing of helping others. Of serving Halo. Of being this, that, and everything in between.

He had failed in the three things Vi had called him to: being a husband, a father, and his warrior. He had no one else to point at but himself and his selfish heart, and it shattered here, before her.

"I promise." He said, layering the top her head in kisses. "I promise we are in this together."