bone weary

I swear I still believe but I don't know

It was a dream.

Ronin knows it was a dream in the same way he knows instinctively when the moon is going to be full or when certain constellations will be in view.

And yet, precisely because it's been that sort of a dream, he knows also that it's arguably more real than a lot of things he's experienced. So when he awakens not with a start but as though he's trying to claw his way up from the depths of a dark ocean, gods, it's the sort of exhaustion he feels right through to his core.

"Remi," he whispers, his voice a dry, weak thing he can barely comprehend as his own. Flexing fingers that feel numb and speaking through lips still tingling with starlight, he gropes for his husband in the twilight.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

"Nnnnnnnn." Remi replies from deep below a mountain of pillows.

Having not properly furnished their houseboat yet (though well on their way), the pair were tangled upon several layers of blankets and furs. Of course they'd go to bed on a mattress made of memories, but as dreams tugged the Lullaby into the Dreaming, he lose his hold on the things he once knew, in lieu of the endless possibilities of sleep, and so their bed would disappear.

Remi might have drifted back to sleep had Ronin's fingertips not brushed against his arm in the sea of their bed, sparking fear through the Lullaby so sharply that it was with a sharp flinch that Remi opened his eyes. Groping through the blankets and at first mistaking a bunch of feathers for Ronin's arm, eventually, the alchemist found the Nova. "Ronin, what—" Gently, for Remi had already sensed that something was gravely wrong with the man next to him, he placed his palm against the Nova's cheek.

"What's happened to you?"

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

Feeling too cold and looking too pale, Ronin is a hollowed out thing that Remi finds in the mess of blankets and furs they've made together in the night, but he seeks out his husband's warmth nonetheless. Leaning into the hand against his cheek, his emotions swell like a slow flood rather than a panicked wave - worry, dread, fear, confusion - all of which likely don't help to build a picture of what has happened for the Lullaby.

"Safrin came back," he whispers. "She couldn't stop it-- what's coming, she couldn't--" Huffing out a breath and reaching up to weakly wrap his fingers about Remi's wrist, his brow furrows. "...Nearly killed her," he mumbles. "Tried to help." And it would have killed him, too, if his goddess hadn't the foresight to stop.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

"Wh—" The questions all pile up on Remi's tongue, and it hardly matters that Ronin has access to his husband's emotions for the tangled patchwork of incoherence that they paint. Predatory as he's ever been, fury lingers just below the surface such that the Lullaby has to consciously keep his nails from growing jagged as his fingers press against the too-cold hollow of Ronin's cheek. There's guilt nearby as well, for somehow letting this happen while he slept, and gods if that doesn't fuel his anger all the more.

But they're immortal in a way that's made them naive and careless, such that Remi lacks the proper panic that his husband's condition warrants this time.

"She.." Glancing at the glow of Ronin's bracelet, Remi furrows his brow against the implications of the light, before cradling his hand around the fingers grasping at his wrist and bringing them against his lips. It will be fine. Remi thought, far too calmly, caring hardly at all about Safrin's wellbeing. You are here now, you are safe.

Was he though?

Splaying a protective wing over the Nova as if prying eyes would soon be upon them, Remi forces a smile as he gazes down at Ronin.

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

"She--" The realisation hits at the same time as the words clog his throat, and Ronin closes his eyes against the warm shield of feathers that comes to nestle over him. She was a falling star, he tries again, and even his mental voice sounds exhausted, but hopefully the implication in the words will be clear for his husband. The fountain, I need to...

Feeling the cold, watery fingers of unconsciousness try to claw at the backs of his eyes, Ronin swallows hard and forces the sort of focus that he'll pay for later. "I don't know what's coming. She couldn't say. But she couldn't stop it, Remi." Imminent, one might say, the sort of danger that's so Other that even a goddess herself couldn't prevent it. "I'm sorry." Gods, he doesn't even know what for, but given his track record with Safrin related dreams, he can already feel the sting of tears fighting for purchase.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

Words burn before the Lullaby's eyes. Words like falling star, and I'll kill her for this, and she nearly killed you for this. It's all such a jumble that for a moment, Remi glares sightlessly down at Ronin, vaguely snarling as his toes clench together and every muscle in his body goes tight.

"No," Remi snarls, blinking back into himself and running a dry tongue against dryer lips as if to temper what might come out next. Thinking it would feel quite cathartic to smash his way through their boat if only to hear the splintery snapping of the wood and imagining it was Safrin's bones, instead the Lullaby tries to wrangle his selfish hostility that he might gather Ronin gently against his chest.

"I have got you now, and not even Safrin can get through me." And even if she could, he had a revivify feather that would see Ronin through whatever fuckery his beloved herald might try and pull.

Hating that it was Safrin's fucking fountain to which he had to go, Remi tentacled-open their door before shaking out his wings. "I am sure Torchline will forgive you for skinny dipping in the fountain." He murmurs softly, before adjusting his grip of the Nova. "Though, even as you are, they still would probably applaud."

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

"Remi," Ronin mumbles, the words soft and warm and not at all the usually decadent rumble of a man who knows how to talk down his monstrous husband from the brink. Propped against the other man's chest like a marionette with broken strings, he just about manages to press cool, clammy fingers over the Lullaby's heart, his head lolling on his shoulder. "I know you do."

Closing his eyes against the wave of dizziness that comes with being adjusted out of the doorway, Ronin huffs out something close enough to a laugh that he hopes it counts. "Too early for an audience," he says of the rest of Torchline, wincing against the cutting breeze that howls along the coast. (Monsoon season innit).

"Except you, obviously," he adds, trying on a smile.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

Remi had been rather lax with his demigod duties as of late. He'd answered the supernatural call of death when it had beckoned him, but otherwise, it had been over a year since he'd last visited Ludo. Mort he'd seen, but not the herald he served. Perhaps now that would change.

Snorting without amusement, Remi glances down at the man cradled in his arms. Broken and on his last breath, the Lullaby felt simultaneously heartbroken and bursting with love. "You would think so, but this is Torchline, after all." But if there was an audience, so be it.

Spreading his wings and trying to use his body to block the worst of the wind while also flying as efficiently as he could, Remi focused on reaching the fountain instead of worrying about the bird-fragile heartbeat he could feel pulsing against his finger. Hardly bothering to slow down, it was with a spray of water that the Lullaby landed in the fountain, immediately lowering his husband down into it.

Curling his wings around the Nova as if he were some morsel of food to protect, the Lullaby relaxed his arms slightly as if letting the water bear some of Ronin's weight would help him heal faster. "Any better?"

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

"Mm," Ronin mutters, "that's true enough, I suppose."

Shouting against the wind takes far too much energy, and it's all the Nova can really manage to keep conscious as his husband flies from houseboat to fountain, and so Ronin is understandably quiet as they complete their journey. And there's no audience to speak of, unless a few passing merchants count, though at the mere sight of the Lullaby they promptly hurry on their way.

(The rumour mill will promptly start turning though, rest assured).

As for Ronin, he finds himself suspended in liquid bliss, or so it feels, and the hands keeping him aloft are as soft as they are strong. Blinking open tired blue eyes, he gazes up at Remi in time to see fingers of dawn light push through his halo of curls and to spray through the gaps in his feathers, bathing him golden and radiant.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispers, wishing he could sit and paint the vision stretching above him.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

Having kept a blanket of fury wrapped tightly around his shoulders in order to provide some sort of buffer between he and Ronin, only as he felt strength blossom beneath his hands did he let the barrier slip. Tears scored the backs of his eyes as he hiccuped in a breath that only further choked out the emotions trying desperately to escape him.

"Ronin," Caring little for the portrait he was ruining, the Lullaby bent forward to press his lips against the Nova's. Clumsily at first for his tears and the sudden shake in his muscles, Remi sobbed out a kiss before straightening with a hollow little laugh.

"Did..you nearly die tonight?" He wondered softly, voice stilted and brows knit together as if to hold back further tears.

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

"Mm, come back," Ronin mumbles, and now there's real strength in his limbs as he draws the Lullaby back into another kiss. Shifting, half to sit in the fountain and half to pull Remi down with him, the Nova's arms sneak around his husband even as tears roll unbidden down his cheeks. He doesn't have it in him to say it, to say yes, I think I nearly did, but the emotions scream from him regardless, and he manages the smallest of nods to confirm it.

"I love you," he whispers instead, Ronin's kisses migrating from Remi's lips to the hollow of his throat, to his collarbones and beyond. "Gods, I love you. I'm so, so sorry." For almost dying, for being beyond Remi's reach even in the Dreaming, for everything that's going to happen from now until whenever things feel safe again.

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

Carrying little about what rules Torchline had about indecent exposure in the public healing fountain, Remi breathlessly slumped forward at his husband's insistance. The water wasn't able to heal what felt broken and raw within the alchemist, though pressed against Ronin with the cooling swirl of the fountain around them was teasing out a little of the tension knotting Remi's back and shoulders.

"Don't," the word is choked out as Remi tries both to cradle Ronin's lower back with one hand to keep him afloat while wrestling with the tug of the water that seemed as content to drown them as to heal them. "Don't even say it." Don't make it real, that I could have woken up with a cold body next to mine. Though they'd never spoken of it, Remi was fairly sure that they both had assumed that if one of them was ever going to come close to having their immortality broken, it would be Remi. That they (or maybe just he), had been so painfully wrong felt like a betrayal beyond words.

Clenching his teeth together, Remi held Ronin tightly. "I'll kill her for this." He whispered into the wet mess of his husband's hair, if only because hatred of Safrin was a far easier emotion to bear than having to confront the proper loss of the Nova.

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)

I swear I still believe but I don't know

"I'm sorry," Ronin whispers again, his next breath feeling like his first in some time, clean and easy and painless, and starlight fractures out of him on the exhale. "I'm here. I've got you." It seems strange to be the one saying it so soon on the heels of near death, but such is the nature of the Taliesin men - where one falls, the other rises, and so on and so on.

As for Remi killing Safrin, Ronin only holds him all the tighter for the threat, able to press kisses along the column of his throat and to get his feet beneath him, at last, to stand. "You'll come home with me," he whispers back. "And you'll not let me go even for a second. And when we sleep, you'll come with me to dream, and we'll be together then as well."

the supernova

I've been sleepwalking, Too close to the fire
But it's the only place that I can hold you tight

And so on, and so on, until it ends.

Feeling as though he hadn't the strength to stand against the pull of his waterlogged clothes, Remi grasps at Ronin for balance before steadying himself on the intricate carvings of the fountain. Wondering how bothered Flora would be to awake and find the fountain smashed but serviceable, it's only Ronin's lips against his throat that have the power to distract the Lullaby from such petty violence.

"You are never leaving my sight again." Remi all but vows, and if Ronin were to take that as implying he'd be forced to watch the Lullaby kill his goddess, so be it.

Exhaling shakily and clasping Ronin's cheek to steady himself in his husband's blue eyes, the Lullaby searches for signs of any lingering pain that Ronin wouldn't be able to heal on his own. "And you are sure that you are alright now? We can stay if you need, or find..." Vaguely Remi looks down the beach, knowing somewhere Isla could be found or one of the other healers.

the lullaby

Styling stolen from Sky (obviously)