Archaic Kinds of Fun

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The book of love is long and boring

After Remi and Isla healed him, Sam was physically better. But in every other way, every way that mattered...he was still damaged. A crack that had begun months ago when he'd fallen off of the Bone Bridge (not that he remembered it) and now has split him, cut his soul in two and tossed the parts to either side. He had lost the last shreds of himself when he'd hit Cornelius in the Spire.

Going home felt odd, for some reason, but he still felt an intense need to hide. To return, to get away. The only place he had as a sanctuary. Not the Loreseeker's guild - there was the chance of people waiting with expectations; something he really could not handle right now.

Sat on the floor beneath the history books (or at least, a clump of them. The organisation here was not much to write home about) he was 'reading', staring past the top of a book held in his knee as he played the scenes from the Spire over and over. Zariah's uncomfortably accurate words about him, his violent act against what he had thought was a fake memory, the pain and confusion of the Cores appearance...

Giving up on actually reading, he sighed and tipped his head up against the shelf, stared up at the ceiling.

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

It had been... at least a few days since he’d shown up to this shitshow, and Nate was still exactly as confused as he’d been the first day. Things were happening around him, but it wasn’t anything he understood. The alcohol was free though, and that was enough for him to write off everything as some... weird, extended production. It made enough sense to him, even if everyone looked miserable about it.

Even he couldn’t stand two full days drinking himself into a stupor, and so, on the morning (maybe? He’d lost some time) if his third day, he staggered out of the tavern and into the street, adjusting his jacket with the first few steps. And then the brightness of the sun hit him, had him seeking a door other than the one he’d just come out of. He had to save a little face. With a hand held up to shield his eyes, he headed towards the next most public looking building, opening the door and sighing in relief when he saw the dim interior.

Nate’s first handful of moments in the great library were spent standing in the doorway, rubbing at his eyes and enjoying the gentle dimness. Well, now he was going to be stuck in here for a few hours, until he recovered some or the sun went down a bit. Great. With a sigh, he stepped into the Aetheneum proper and started looking around. There was no harm in acquainting himself with the place.

In one of the last aisles, right down at the very end, Natesaw a man, just sitting there. He looked around, checking over his shoulder before starting the walk towards the ginger man. Halfway down the aisle, Nate came to the realization that oh This wasn’t just a fun afternoon read, this was something deeper. The man before him looked broken. It was too late to change course now though, he hadn’t exactly made an effort to be stealthy.

”You’re the saddest lookin’ person I’ve seen here yet.” Nate pointed out as he came with easy earshot of the man. He leaned against the shelf and looked down at the ginger, an encouraging smile on his face. ”Do you need help or something? It’s a damn shame to see someone like you look like that.

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The book of love is long and boring

At the sound of footsteps coming down the aisle towards him Sam stiffened, thinking for some reason it had to be an unknown authority come to finally take him away, arrest him for his unspoken crimes that caused him to undergo such punishment from his own mind. When he looked however, there was not a group carrying weapons (in his imagination they always cut him with great swords) but a single man.

A rather handsome single man, he noticed through his depression, and looked down to the ground embarrassed. This was not the sort of person who came to talk to Sam. He was sure he was just in the man's way, moved his legs up so he could pass...but then he had stopped and Sam was being spoken to.

He tipped his head up. "Someone...like me?" Sam wasn't sure if he'd been insulted or praised, but still went on to answer: "It's just...been a very hard.." Life? "Time. With the Spire, and I've learnt some things about my past, and...it's just that I find this place to be a solace. Um. If I am in your way, I could move, Sir...?"

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

"Yea, someone like you. With the hair and the freckles and all that. Cute." Nate chuckled gently at the tail end of his words, his hand coming up to tap at his own cheeks, like his explanation wasn't enough. Flirting came near second nature to him, especially since he was so far from home. No chance of being found out when he didn't know anyone.

The easy smile still clung to his lips as Sam explained his dismal aura. He still wasn't completely sure about what was happening, or everything the other man was talking about, but did he really need to? Comfort was easy. "Oh, that big black thing? Seemed like everything around it would take a lot of work." Nate pushed off the shelf as he spoke, closing the distance between him and Sam and crouching before him. "It's all done with now though, so you can move onto the next thing." Nate reached out, and took the forgotten book from Sam's lap, leafing through it for a moment before looking back up into Sam's face and snapping it closed.

After his admittedly weak attempt at comfort, Nate looked around, staring up and down the aisles as if to confirm their solitude. "I was going to be around here for a few hours anyway. Would be nice with some company, if you wanted to join me." Nate offered his hand out for Sam to take, planning on pulling him to his feet and a less dismal corner of the Aetheneum.

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The book of love is long and boring

"Um--I--" Sam had never been referred to as cute before and the word had an effect on him, a surprised smile touching his face as he pushed his hair back. Even through the new pounding in his heart an immediate paranoia began that this had to be some kind of trick (a suspicion that only grew stronger as Nate leaned down and took away his book, Sam just about not flinching at the sound of the snap shut), that someone like Nate could not possibly have meant that about him.

But there was a hand reaching out towards him, like a prince in a story helping up his eventual princess, and Sam just couldn't resist. Gladly he took the hand and stood up, looking off a little embarrassed as he let go towards the Shrine. Hopefully she isn't watching this... It would be dreadfully embarrassing to know anyone, even his Goddess, was seeing him be so shy.

"So um..." He said as they walked, trying to pull himself out of his own head. "What are you in the Atheneum for? I haven't seen you before so um..are you an Outlander? Trying to find some information?"

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

Nate’s grin only grew wider at the embarrassment clear on Sam’s face, though the other man took his hand despite it. His hand grew tighter around Sam’s, Nate squeezing his fingers before letting him go and stepping between the shelves, heading in the opposite direction he had come from, hopefully towards a dim corner, or something of the sort.

A short bark of laughter left him at Sam’s questions. ”An outlander? Damn, you take this stuff serious. I guess you can call me that, I’m from the far off city of Camden.“ Nate waved his hands while he said it, trying to make his shitty little slice of the world sound exciting.

”It’s okay though, I won’t tell anyone if you  break character or whatever.” He assured Sam, still thinking he was simply lost in some (admittedly in depth) renaissance fair. ”I’m Nate. I promise you can trust me.” The last words were said lightly, with the easy grace of a man who knew he mor certainly should not be trusted.

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The book of love is long and boring

"This stuff? " Sam asked, already lost in this conversation. Did this man not know he was an Outlander? Or was he a Natural who didn't care much for the divide between the two groups? But he said he hailed from a city Sam had never heard of... "Where is Camden? Is that beyond the barrier? I must admit I haven't gone outside of it yet. I'm a little nervous." He laughed nervously, sure that Nate would now think him a coward.

The corner Nate was determinedly dragging him towards was dark and Sam's alarm bells began to go off. Was he about to be robbed? (If so,  Nate would be sorely disappointed.  All he had was a couple of scraps of paper and a bookmark). But even though his mind began to invent nightmares of knives at his throat and demands for his personal goods... he kept following. He was helpless to stop anything that might have given him a few more seconds with a man looking at him as if he were worth looking at.

"I'm Sam... what do you mean, break character? " He was mostly confused but Sam did worry that somehow Nate had seen beyond his mask in a few seconds, knew of the troubles on his mind behind his flat blue eyes. "I'm just... I'm here because I'm part of the Loreseeker's guild. I'm researching. "

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

Nate’s easy grin faltered somewhat at Sams confusion. The ginger was taking all of this far more seriously than he’d expected, and he wasn’t sure how to respond to it anymore. The last thing he wanted to do was get annoyed, and scare he already nervous man off, but... annoyance was exactly what he was feeling.

”I uh... I guess it is, yea. It’s in Jersey.” Just how far had he managed to wander during his blackout? Nate’s steps stopped as he thought back, trying to remember the hazy night. He’d secured a new deal, gone to celebrate by bar hopping, enjoyed some of the powder he still had tucked in his jacket pocket, and then... nothing. Nothing concrete. Just vague recollections, and a general feeling of happiness.

The grin had now fully fallen from Nate’s face, his brows knit together in worry. ”Sam. Hey.” He reached out with both hands, cupping the shorter mans face gently, the slightest tremble in his fingers. It was familiar, too much so, in a way that was both intimate and intimidating. ”You wouldn’t lie to me, right? Where... where am I? Where is this?”

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The book of love is long and boring

"Jersey..." Sam repeated to himself, feeling he was speaking the name of some magical far-flung kingdom, a mystical place he may one day hope to visit (unless the man was an Outlander. It was hard to tell). They were getting closer to the darker corner now and while Sam appreciated the dark, knowing it meant absolute safety for his Ascended skin, his nerves did rise as he looked sideways at Nate, wondering what he would do now.

He was not expecting hands on his face and he flinched, but did not pull away. The touch was surprising but not...unwelcome, even if Nate's expression was one of panic. "Um..no, I'm not lying. You're in Caido...? This is the Hallowed Grounds, specifically. The Atheneum...?" Slowly he reached up and took the hands away from his face, tried to put on a friendly smile. "You are an Outlander, aren't you? Did you find yourself here suddenly, not knowing why? I think that is how it happens to all of them."

Sam knew some Outlanders thought themselves dead when they arrived or tried to rationalise and think of ways home. He supposed it had to be a confusing experience, one that he would certainly find terrifying (though Sam also found it terrifying when anyone spoke to him in a slightly raised voice or when he dropped a book). "It's...a..alright, though. You are safe here and I can tell you...well. Most things you might want to know."

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

"Caido." Nate repeated slowly, a too late mirror to Sam. His hands were removed, but he refused to let the connection between them end, his hands winding around Sam's so he was still holding them. There was an uneasiness in the ginger man's smile, something Nate used to his advantage, stepping close and pushing Sam back. "I must be an outlander." He agreed, backing Sam up another step, his eyes staring into Sam intently. "It all makes so much sense, doesn't it?" Another step, this one backing Sam against a wall, Nate stepping so close their bodies were nearly flush.

Without warning, Nate surged forward, pressing his lips against Sam's hard enough their teeth clacked together. He let the impromptu kiss last a moment, then leaned back again, a manic look of triumph on his face. Yes, Nate knew he should technically feel bad for imposing himself on the other man, but... he couldn't bring himself to care about that just now. He was so used to having to dance around things, wait until he was behind closed doors and out of sight. If he was somewhere different then he didn't have to hide or dance around things.

"Sorry." Nate laughed, stepping back and clapping Sam's cheek. "I just... I needed to make sure this was real. You know? This is so fucking exciting!" He turned away from Sam then, looking around them, more out of habit than anything else. Sam had no reason to lie, and Nate had no reason to think he would.

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The book of love is long and boring

"I..um..I'm glad you accept it so easily...?" Sam tried to smile but his expression was uneasy and his eyes regularly flicked down to look at his clasped hands in confusion. What was Nate doing?

Then suddenly the next few moments happened all together in a rush. He was pressed up against the wall by Nate's body, something surprising and he wasn't sure if it was welcome (touch was a novelty but he hardly knew this man, had been taken thoroughly by surprise) then kissed, hard and needy. As far as he remembered, it was his first.

This was not the circumstance he had imagined his first kiss in.

"I..." At first he had no idea what to say, totally in shock as Nate said words he didn't really hear. Then, belatedly, he felt offended and pushed Nate further from him, defensively crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, I don't know how things work in Jersey, but I'd really rather you didn't do that. I don't know who you are! The...the last thing I need right now is strange handsome men assaulting me in the Atheneum! If you want help working things out I will help, but I'm not here for....for kisses." Once he would not have dared to defend himself but now he had a slightly better sense of self worth, enough to object.

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

Nate let himself be pushed away easily, laughing the whole time. The fact that he wasn’t home, wasn’t even close anymore had filled him with a jittery, manic excitement. He didn’t expect Sam to understand, he couldn’t really, but he could try to explain, at least a little. Sucking in a deep breath, and trying to quell his laughter, Nate straightened. ”Look, I’m sorry, but... I’ve never been able to do that before.” This apology came off slightly more sincere than the first, but that still didn’t mean it was good.

It looked as if he was about to go on when something struck him, something Sam had said. Nate’s mouth closed in a sly smirk, his hand coming up to stroke at his chin while he regarded Sam. ”You think I’m handsome?” He let the question hang in the air a moment, his tone teasing and amused, then stepped forward, reclaiming some of the space that had been made between them. His hand dropped then, and he leaned against the wall, flexing just a little so he could watch for Sam’s reaction.

”Maybe we could get to know each other, huh?” Nate suggested, letting his eyes drag up and down Sam’s body too obviously to be ignored. ”I could use some company, a friend, being in a whole new world, you know?” Friendship was clearly not the kind of company he was taking about, but Nate was more than used to talking in circles to get something he wanted. All it really depended on now was if Sam wanted as well.

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The book of love is long and boring

"Do...what? Kiss someone?" Sam was utterly baffled, not understanding what Nate was going on about at all. Without the reference of Remi in his mind, who had told him of his experiences with homophobia, he had no way to understand. As Nate 'apologised' and laughed he began to wonder if he was sound in his mind.

He had not even noticed he'd used the word handsome until Nate pointed it out. Sam stared wide eyed, his eyes looking to the flexing muscle as he nervously swallowed. He did not often give much thought to physical lust except for in the early hours in the morning, where shame began to bleed away into the dark of the bedroom. But Nate, his smirk and the arm by him..Sam sharply inhaled.

But when he spoke of needing a 'friend', his voice dripping with suggestion...Sam knew he couldn't do what Nate wanted. The look in Remi's eyes came to him, the answer 'I don't know you anymore', a love he no longer remembered (and to Sam, sex was love). He couldn't hurt someone else so quickly, no matter how badly his body and need to feel wanted screamed at him to pull Nate closer.

"...I can help you in academic matters." He said firmly, going to cross his arms again. "I could give you somewhere to stay. That's all."

No one can lift the damn thing

Nate

There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me

”Not just someone,” Nate insisted, nearly rolling his eyes, ”another man.” Even saying it out loud felt exciting. Despite his bravado though, he spared a glance around, making sure they were still completely alone. His next words came out in an exaggerated whisper, Nate leaning conspiratorially closer to Sam. ”Fuck, if I was back home I’d be getting my head kicked in already.”

Sams body language told him everything he needed to know. Not interested. At least, not right now. Nate hadn’t missed the way the other mans eyes roamed over him, the little gasp of breath. There was a whole new world here, it wasn’t as if he had to jump on the first cute guy he met. There had to be options.

The offer of a place to stay, after everything, clearly surprised him, and for a moment his lighthearted persona dropped, hard, suspicious eyes looking over Sam with a new intensity. Nate really didn’t think Sam could be a danger to him. He was smaller, more nervous and submissive. It would be easy to overpower him if he needed to. With that thought, his smile came back, and he moved back, still leaning back on the wall. ”A place to stay would be great. I can make it up to you, once I get something running.”