icarian carrion

but that was then, and this is now

Despite how easy it might have been for the demigods to while away the sunlit parts of the day on their houseboat and turn their backs on the stars at night, Starfall loomed far too close to ignore for long. Not wanting to leave Ronin's side, it worked out well for Remi to have the Nova accompany him to Stormbreak, if only because seeing Finn normally proved rather tense.

"Who knows, maybe Finn's glasses can help us spot if there are others." Remi says, shouldering his way through the afternoon crowd. Remi found it difficult to try and carry on a mundane conversation with his husband while also trying to stave off those who recognized the Nova and wanted a quick word, so he'd unfurled his wings and allowed them to spread more than he normally would to help part the sea of citizens they walked through.

With Ronin's hand clutched tightly in his own, Remi looked over his shoulder as he gave his fingers a squeeze. I love you.

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

RONIN

the supernova

light is easy to love.

"Hmm," Ronin responds, uncharacteristically lacking in wit and charm and small-talk, but given the events of the past few days, it isn't much surprising. He's a time bomb walking beneath the shield of one of Remi's wings, cold fingers laced with the Lullaby's, his blue eyes fixed on nothing. Only when people get too close is he at risk of detonation, and in a crowd like this, said risk is higher than it might be otherwise.

Indeed, as an over eager Dragoon announces his presence, he's rewarded by being shoulder-checked by the Nova, Ronin tugging Remi closer against him and scowling, as if the expression alone will be enough to keep people at bay. I love you too. The words come with a flush of fiery warmth, and were he not convinced it would draw yet more attention, he'd be crowned with antlers by now.

Are we close?

show me your darkness.

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

but that was then, and this is now

"Apologies—" Remi calls over his shoulder before ruffling his feathers to create an even larger perceived barrier between the Nova and the rest of the world.

We are. I heard from Tobi that Finn likes to write in the Observatory on days that Stormbreak's parks are crowded. Given what a relatively warm Leafchange afternoon it was and how busy the streets were, the Lullaby thought that checking in one of the quieter spaces within the Observatory would be more fruitful than scouring green areas for former Spyglass.

After the attack on the Spyglass rooms in the Collegium were converted as temporary workspaces, and yet once the building was restored no one really wanted to move. Remi continues as if expecting Ronin to ask why they wouldn't find Finn at the college instead.

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

RONIN

the supernova

light is easy to love.

But I'm not sorry, Ronin almost says, but instead he lets Remi take the lead on social niceties and focuses mainly on not sticking his foot out to trip people (again, uncharacteristic, but here we are). I see, he says of the ex-Spyglass and his former and current writing spaces. He neither knows nor cares what Finn does with his life these days, save where it might end up sucking his husband back into something unhealthy.

And rest assured, on this day and at this time, Ronin will have something to say about that.

Finally the crowd breaks somewhat as they approach the long route up to the Spyglass, the Nova wrinkling his nose up at the obnoxiously large observatory. "Shall I wait for you down here?" he asks, feeling himself hate the words as he says them. "I will behave, I promise."

show me your darkness.

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

but that was then, and this is now

Biting at the inside of his cheek, Remi is forced to uncomfortably weigh the choice. On the one hand, he didn't want to infantilize his husband, nor could he simply shield Ronin from the world forever. On the other hand, yes he absolutely could.

Peering at the Nova as if trying to gauge just how close to fracturing apart the small cracks he could see in his expression were, Remi looked down at his hands before turning toward the observatory. "You can come inside if you like. It will probably be quieter than out here. Or...you can come with me. I am sure Finn would not mind seeing you." It likely would soften the Spyglass's start, in all honesty.

"It is whatever you want. Either way, I will not be long."

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

RONIN

the supernova

light is easy to love.

"I'm not so sure about that," Ronin mutters half under his breath, of Finn not minding seeing him. But that's beside the point, of course, and it's with a somewhat sullen glance around the place that he compares waiting alone to waiting with Remi. And of course Remi wins out, the Nova cementing his choice with an arm slipped around his husband's waist. "Alright - lead the way," he mumbles.

The Spyglass would have enthralled him once - has done, in truth, on his previous visits here - but now he can barely look at the place, especially up towards the zenith. And so they enter the observatory, the silence almost deafening as the doors shut behind them, Ronin already glancing about for the man who could very well be Remi's twin.

show me your darkness.

Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!

but that was then, and this is now

"After this we can go throw rocks off the Falling, mmm?" Or throw themselves off if that seemed like a better idea at the time.

With Ronin's hand held tightly in his, the pair wandered efficiently through the Spyglass. As they neared the upper levels Remi was ready to admit that perhaps he'd misjudged Finn's ability to be around other people, when he caught sight of a familiar head of curls.

Finn looked like the man Remi might have become had he never been caught by death the way he had, though owing to all that had happened recently, the Lullaby had no capacity to obsess over his once-friend's appearance or the complicated feelings the sight of him might normally call to the surface.

Instead, Remi felt almost immediately antsy, wanting the encounter to be over with that he might properly hide Ronin away from the world. Drawing a breath and hoping that Tobi had warned the Spyglass of who was going to be looking for him that afternoon, Remi squeezed Ronin's hand as they drew near.

"Finn?"

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

i felt powerful i felt powerful ifeltpowerfulifelt—

Cyclical.

That's what trauma is. It's what Finn thinks about when he considers the word. However large the circle, however good one is at running, however high the stamina, eventually trauma comes around again and laps you.

Granted, it's true that his last encounters with Remi were not the horror shows they might have once been, and time and mundanity have healed the ex-Spyglass in ways that go beyond the surface. But even so, just for a second, as familiar lips and tongue form his name, his heart stops.

A feather. A knife. A hanged man.

But then it's gone.

"Remi. Ronin," he greets, glancing up from the sheet music he's been writing, carefully setting it to one side and gesturing for one or both of them to take a seat, whatever their preference.

With curls peppered grey around the ears and stubble he's grown on purpose instead of out of neglect, this version of Finn could be someone's teacher, someone's father, someone's friend. He's happy.

And now here's Remi. Here's trauma, come to say hello.

FINN

but that was then, and this is now

Smiling, somehow the lines around Remi's eyes were taught with tension rather than joy to see Finn. There were any number of reasons why of course, and with Ronin's hand clutched tightly in his own, Remi didn't dare to dwell on them.

"Hello." Glancing at the space beside him, the Lullaby shakes his head. "We will not be staying long." He says almost apologetically, but only out of politeness. Not a single one of them wanted to remain any longer than they had to.

To that end, Remi cleared his throat quietly as if to indicate he'd be skipping through the pleasantries, and instead got right to the point. "I wondered if you still had the glasses you used to wear." To a careful ear, one might notice the thickening of the Lullaby's accent; that he and Finn looked alike did not mean they had to sound alike. Not just now, anyway.

"And whether they could be used in light of the new...visitors."

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

i felt powerful i felt powerful ifeltpowerfulifelt—

Gazing up at Remi as he chooses to remain standing - and let a psychologist decide if this is a subtle affirmation of a power dynamic or not - Finn listens quietly to the other man's request, smoothing out an invisible crease on one of his pages of music. "I still have them," he confirms, reaching to the seat beside him to draw out a smart leather glasses case, the offending spectacles tucked within.

"Tobi explained I might receive a visit. Something told me I would want to take these out of storage." Something, naturally, being that Finn is an intelligent man and he can put two and two together and come up with void creatures are weird, as well as Remi's name entering the conversation. "By visitors, I assume you mean the woman from the meteor crash site? Sohalia posted a notice."

FINN

but that was then, and this is now

As Finn turned, Ronin moved away nearly in tandem, leaving Remi torn between watching the curious fingers of his twin or following his husband. Choosing the latter (of course, Ronin), the Lullaby sent a warm pulse after the Nova as he moved to stand with a shoulder against a nearby wall, eyes fixed on something outside one of the windows.

Turning back, Remi exhaled softly. Perhaps it was best that Finn wasn't an attuned lest he be battered by the Lullaby's sudden burst of silent appreciation. "I do, yes. We have no idea how many of them there are and given how utterly normal they look, I thought perhaps..." Trailing off, ever the Jack Crawford as well as the Hannibal to Finn's Will Graham, the Lullaby itched at his stubble self-consciously.

"..if you could see, even from a distance.."

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

i felt powerful i felt powerful ifeltpowerfulifelt—

Gazing up at Remi, the most innocuous poison he's ever had the pleasure of meeting, Finn's fingers still splay against the leather case of his glasses. His smile is one of slow, sad acceptance. Remi knows, and Finn knows he knows, that seeing the woman - even at a distance - would require at minimum actively looking for her (dangerous), or wearing the glasses full time on the off chance that there are void people swarming around them (even more dangerous, but in a different way).

"Is this something you are asking me to do as a demigod?" he wants to know, sane and centred enough these days to know precisely the height of the cliff he'll be flinging himself from if he does this. "It would not be as simple as simply looking around. I would need to follow sightings, travel, make notes..."

I would need to be the Spyglass again.

FINN

but that was then, and this is now

Given how intimate the pair have been—both knowingly and unknowingly—it's perhaps no surprise that Remi doesn't bother to try and hide how he feels from Finn; pressing the tips of his fingers against his closed eyes, the Lullaby sighs against his palms. "I have no authority over you, as a demigod or anything else." He mumbles before letting his hands fall against his sides.

Slumping down next to Finn, the former Spyglass looks more like the shadow that the Lullaby is unable to cast, for all their similarities. Looking down into his palms, Remi considers for a moment as he gnaws uncertainly on the inside of one cheek.

"I nearly died when I went to the island, but it was not only that. I nearly died easily. Quickly." He explains, knowing the words would give Finn as much of a reason to help as to hide away at home. "I know Stormbreak seems above it all, but I do not think it will last." Swallowing, he glanced over his shoulder at Finn. This is going to come to your doorstep even if it is not me knocking, his expression seemed to want to say.

the lullaby

Table by the wonderful SKY

i felt powerful i felt powerful ifeltpowerfulifelt—

Remi is correct, of course, but as the other man takes the seat beside him, it seals Finn's fate as succinctly as if the Lullaby had spoken an order directly from Ludo or Mort. Letting out a sigh that pulls all the tension from his shoulders while simultaneously making him seem strained rather than calm, he nods. "Then I suppose I had better get to work," he murmurs.

"I will need to speak with Tobi first." Gone are the days where he could lose his mind in a vacuum. Everest might be grown - and oh, if only Finn knew how close danger had come knocking - but he won't throw it all away without discussion with the woman he loves.

"If you know of the latest sightings, or any other information, that would be very helpful," he adds, taking a page of blank sheet music and his pen and preparing to write down all Remi might know. (These carefree days of writing on paper not intended for note-taking are soon to come to an end, not that he knows it yet).

FINN