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Character of the Season
Frail in body but dangerously quick of mind, Nikandr is the sort of character who proves that curiosity can be just as perilous as any weapon. A necromancer, inventor, and problem-solver with more ambition than self-preservation, Niki approaches the world like a puzzle box begging to be opened, even when what’s inside has teeth. Blunt, dry-witted, fiercely independent, and carrying a history best left partially buried, he has a knack for making even failure feel fascinating. Whether he’s raising the dead, moving across Caido to King's End, or experiencing a hangover for the first time, Nikandr brings a wonderfully strange spark to Caido, and we can’t wait to see what trouble his brilliant mind wanders into next.
Congratulations, Niki!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
OG Skinning provided by Kaons, with functionality and many custom plugins made by Neowulf!
05-10-2024, 02:03 PM (This post was last modified: 05-10-2024, 06:37 PM by Koa.)
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
It's been a couple days since the Tournament, and while Koa knows he should have made this visit sooner, the truth is he's kinda been shitting his pants. Like, what is he even supposed to say?
Hey, remember how I took over an organization you led for a while? Turns out I'm so bad at it I got yeeted into the abyss and let an innocent leader get kidnapped and the whole damn country fall into the hands of a space demon queen! Sorryyyyyyy!
See why he's needed time to workshop? The rough drafts were rough.
But no more dawdling. Today's the day. Koa strides (un) confidently toward the dock where the Northaven is moored, feeling very (un) ready to face his fears. He's wearing a green fleece with his board shorts, his inherent inability to handle cold at war with his need to show as much skin as possible, when possible. Pipsqueak skitters at his side, grumpy with the (she thinks) ridiculous amount of anxiety that's rolling through their bond.
When they spot Ronin at the end of the dock, it's Pip who greets him first, chirping happily as she darts the rest of the way toward the elder Dragoon. Koa follows far more slowly (one might even accuse him of dragging his feet), but manages to muster a wave and a smile for his hero as they approach. "Hey, Comman-- Ronin. It's been a while. Do you, uh, have a minute to talk?"
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
Ronin, having been idling away his afternoon at the edge of the dock, peels an eye open and glances to the side at Pipsqueak as she approaches, offering the dragon a lopsided smile. "Long time no see," he rumbles to her, sitting up where he's been leaning back on his hands, his feet dangling over the edge of the dock. There's a bit of string tied to his big toe, the other end attached to a lump of cheese where he's apparently been fishing, for lack of better word.
Offering a bit of his bait to Pip (because obviously there's more cheese on a plate beside him), Ronin turns at the sound of a familiar voice, raising an eyebrow as he glances over his shoulder at the approaching Dragoon. "Koa," he says, a touch stiffly but otherwise polite. "I have all afternoon, as it happens. What can I do for you?"
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
Well, this isn't the warm welcome Koa hoped for, but it's probably what he deserves. Pip accepts the cheese with all her inherent indignity, scampering off to scarf down the morsel as Koa comes to a halting stop some three strides away. He pauses a moment to settle his nerves, eyes drifting curiously to the string tied to his hero's toe. It's a nice distraction from all the things he's not really sure how to say, a little anchor to a simple reality that is no longer his.
Finally the young man sinks down to the dock, his legs crossed beneath him as he stares into the sea. "I feel like I've fucked up." Gone is the soldier with his shit together; there's no smile to bring levity to his heavy sigh. Koa frowns at the calm blue water, unable to meet Ronin's eyes. "As a Dragoon. As a man. Everything. You ever felt that way?" It's entirely rhetorical, of course: as far as Koa is concerned, Ronin couldn't be a fuck-up if he tried.
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
"Hmm," Ronin says, enigmatic and unhelpful rolled into one as Koa begins, and the Knight gazes back at the ocean as Pip scampers away and the dragoon settles himself and continues. Taking a moment to sit himself up properly and to untie the line from his toe - catching a fish would be an unwelcome distraction from this conversation, he feels - the Knight finally turns to face the younger man properly.
"Once or twice," he says readily, because it's the truth. "When my daughter died. Again when I almost lost my husband to my own stupidity. It's a sobering feeling, certainly." He nods at the other man as if to tell him to expand on it, if he wishes to. Ronin already knows some of it, of course, coloured as it might be by Flora's perception, and whilst he does sort of want to shake Koa by the scruff, he knows better than to do so before he's heard all sides of things.
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
Well, nothing Koa's done quite meets the level of having a daughter die, or a husband nearly follow. He grimaces, picking absently at a loose bit of dock. "Shit." What else is there to say? Sorry you dealt with a greater level of trauma than I can realistically imagine, guess my stuff feels pretty small by comparison? That would require an amount of perspective he simply can't manage just now.
Koa's rushing thoughts and anxiety are visible and he continues his slow disassembly of the dock. "Sohalia was taken- maybe Flora told you." Or maybe he knew in some other way. "And I couldn't do anything. And for all I know she's dead now, and I'm here instead of at home, and I'm too weak to do anything, and Flora hates me, and it all just... sucks." The words are punctuated by tugs at the fraying plank, and culminate in him yanking a large splinter free.
"How did you deal with it? Feeling helpless like that?" Because clearly Ronin had, given his current status as one of the mightiest denizens of Caido and Koa's personal hero - a paragon of masculinity to which the Dragoon constantly aspires.
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
"Mm, it was." Shit, Ronin means, but he assumes Koa hasn't turned up specifically to wax lyrical about the Knight's prior failings (he hopes not, anyway) and so he falls quiet to let him continue. Nodding at the first point - because Flora has told him, as well as a lot more besides, but give it time - and holding his tongue against the others, it's only as the dragoon manages to create a weapon from the dock beneath them that Ronin raises his eyebrows.
"...It's difficult," he says slowly, "when there is so much that's out of your control. The situation with Stormbreak, the not knowing. If you let yourself dwell on that, you really will feel helpless. Focus on the things you can control, that you can change. That always helped me." Whether it's Koa returning home to brave things out under Dahlia or settling more permanently elsewhere to regroup, it's easier than drifting, lost, about it all.
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
“Doesn’t feel like I have control over much of anything, these days.” Not over his home, not over his relationships - not even over his body, if he can be so easily cast into the unknown. His frown deepens, thumb now brushing with aimless repetition over the splinter’s sharp, jagged edge. Koa is a soldier, trained to follow orders. He isn’t used to having to floating aimlessly, doesn’t know how to find his feet without the guidance of a superior commander.
Which is why he’s come to Ronin, of course. “Part of me feels like I need to go home. Like I’m a coward for not going back and facing them.” His jaw tightens around the word, anger flaring hot beneath his skin. “But another part thinks that if I stay here, I’ll be able to do more to get support. Talk to the leaders, that sort of thing. ‘Cus, like, it’s not like I can do anything, back home. Soh’s already–”
His voice catches in his throat, choking the fearful words. Dead, he can’t bring himself to say. Lost and dead and gone.
Koa clears his throat, swallowing down the bile. ”She’s missing,” the Dragoon finishes gruffly, glowering as the splinter at last breaks his skin. ”And I’ve already seen what happens when I try to stand against them. Hell, if Remi couldn’t face Dahlia, what the fuck am I gonna do?”
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
Despite the obvious - that being Flora's place nestled against his heart as an adoptive daughter - Ronin can at least appreciate the Dragoon's turmoil, and he lets out a soft sigh and leans back on his hands as he considers Koa's next words. "A smart soldier weighs the options and consequences before any decision," he points out. "Going home is a valiant idea, providing you can heel and toe the line - and most importantly hold your tongue - should you need to. Fight the good fight from within, and all that."
Smirking, he rolls his shoulder in a shrug and glances sidelong at the other man, brow furrowing to see the splinter break the skin. "I was never good at holding my tongue," he clarifies, reaching out to gently remove the sliver of wood from Koa's hands, promptly launching it out into the waves. "So if I were in your shoes, I'd go with that second option. Rally my support in a place of safety, until some other plan can be established."
As for Soh, Ronin shakes his head. "We don't know what's become of her," he corrects gently. "I plan to do some digging of my own up in Stormbreak, so your assistance would be appreciated if you want to join me, whether there or from afar." Dead isn't something worth considering until it can be proven. Only then can the grieving process begin as far as Ronin is concerned.
As for what Koa is going to do, he shoots the other man a wry smile. "Do whatever you're best at," he says simply.
But of course, he has to delve a little deeper, because whether the Dragoon is aware or not, this is more personal than he knows. "Whatever you do decide, though," he adds pointedly, "do not hurt Flora in the process. You won't like the outcome. Are we understood?"
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
Deprived of the wood and its manual stimulation, Koa's hands curl around empty air. He mulls each word as Ronin speaks it, each little piece of the Knight's advice as precious as mana in a drought. Go back? Stay here? Fight isn't an option, not yet, maybe never for him. But the path is becoming a little clearer, the choices available better defined. It helps to talk to someone about it. Makes him feel less terribly alone.
As for what he's best at? "Following orders," he answers with a wry huff, his fingers now tugging at the hem of his shorts. "I think- no, I know I can keep my head down, but if they were to do something... I kind of have a history of putting my foot in my mouth." He shrugs, grimacing with embarrassment at the memory of his past diplomatic missteps. He's been able to charm his way out of trouble previously, but how do you do that to this sort of beast?
And then there's the fear, because let's face it- that's the real barrier here. Koa is terrified of the Family, of Dahlia and her nameless companion. He's scared to die, or be imprisoned, or have his loved ones taken away. He's scared to share the fate of Sohalia.
Turns out what he should be scared of is the demigod sitting at his side.
Because on the topic of Koa and his misplaced foot... the young man starts and turns toward Ronin, his face growing simultaneously hot and cold as a wave of nausea crashes into him. "Oh," he chokes out, aghast and embarrassed and utterly off guard. "Oh, fuck." Of course Flora talked to him. Gods, what did she say?
Dropping his head into his hands, he lets out a soft groan. "I swear, I never meant to hurt her." And it's true- for all his youthful idiocy, he's never intentionally been an ass except the couple times he has. He's just a hapless himbo and very, very dumb. "I just can't ever seem to do the right thing," he adds, his voice much smaller and more miserable than he'd ever have liked it to be.
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
Scoffing - because lol, same Koa apart from the following orders bit - Ronin leans back on his hands again. "Well, what does Anju think?" he asks, not having been around the other Dragoon for a while now. He assumes already, in the back of his mind, that things are not well between she and Koa, otherwise his need to follow his captain wouldn't have put him in this position. Regardless, at least he can get some more context about Stormbreak's situation this way.
Ah, but then there's the Flora of it all, and the Knight glances over his shoulder to level Koa with a flat stare. Yes, oh. Oh fuck.
"Mmhm," he drawls, and were the Doubletake not the subject of the conversation, he'd likely be a lot more sympathetic to Koa's situation. A shame, then.
"Perhaps you should focus less on doing the right thing and more on doing the kind thing. And sometimes, the kind thing might not be what's best for you - it might be what's best for another person." Just look at Ronin - the kind thing was to not yeet Koa off the edge of the docks when he first saw him, and see how much progress they're making?
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
What does Anju think? "I'd like to know that, myself," Koa mutters darkly, picking with greater purpose at the hem of his shorts. "I haven't spoken to her since... since I got yeeted. And when I heard from Lena that she'd stayed on Dahlia's cabinet, well..." He'd felt betrayed, confused, bewildered by the choice. Lena hadn't seemed to know where Anju's loyalties lied, but the simple truth is that Koa was terrified to find out. Because of Anju - his Captain, his auntie, the woman who had stepped in to fill his mother's shoes - if Anju has turned toward the Family, the young Dragoon doesn't know if he can survive that news.
The right thing, the kind thing. The thing that's best. Isn't that itself the issue? "I thought I was," Koa confesses forlornly into his hands. "I mean- not at first, obviously. I don't know what she told you, but the first time we, um, got together, I fucked up pretty bad." He chuckles wryly, shaking his head at how much of an idiot he'd been. "So I gave her space, y'know? We didn't see each other for a few years. And when we did, well- she was still so mad at first, which I totally get, but then..."
He trails off with a sigh, shoulders rolling in a hapless shrug. "I dunno. I guess... I thought we were good again. Friends, even." Fuckbuddies, a thing he will never, ever confess to the Knight. "But now it feels like, whenever I see her... like even when I think things are good between us, I always somehow do something to fuck it up, but I'm never sure what? And I swear, I don't mean to- gods, I want her to be happy. She's so bright and clever and brave and gorgeous and--"
He realizes he's rambling and cuts himself off, color rising dark on his bronzed cheeks. Ronin knows this. Flora is his daughter, after all. And if he keeps going - if he brings himself to say the things he really thinks about her - well. Koa doesn't let himself go there, because he knows that there's no point. He's tried so hard to build something like friendship. Flora has made it abundantly clear that he'll never be worthy of anything more.
"I guess... I guess I have been selfish. Hanging around. Pretending that..." That I ever had a chance.
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
"Perhaps that's a good place to start," Ronin ventures gently. "For all you know she might be fighting the good fight up there under the guise of being on Dahlia's cabinet." Or not - honestly, based on Vox and his broadcasts, he's unsure how much control they even have over the ownership of their own thoughts, let alone anything else. But the point is - Koa doesn't know either.
Listening with as little bias as he can as the conversation moves back to Flora - and that doesn't mean much in truth, because again, it's Flora, the Knight eventually lets out a low whistle and tilts his head towards Koa. "Even if that means you leave her alone?" he hazards. Does Koa want her to be happy even if that's the outcome?
"Because all I can say is that you made my daughter cry, and I hope you can imagine how that taints my opinion somewhat. One day if you're ever a father to a daughter, I imagine you'll feel much the same." He sighs. "I'm sorry, Koa. But I don't know what further advice to give you other than this. It's a shitty situation, and some of it is of your own making. You already know that."
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul Chiming away for a moment
Ronin's right- he should be talking to Anju, instead of just speculating about the worst case. It's always been one of Koa's defining traits, his ability to brush gaily over anything too serious or alarming, to put on a smile and hope that things will figure themselves out. He's made a great talent out of letting other people direct him, of avoiding the direct responsibility of Figuring Out Hard Shit. And it might have worked when he was a boy, or a carefree soldier, but now?
Koa sighs almost defiantly, biting the inside of his cheek.
"Do you think that's what she wants?" Is it what he wants? Obviously not, or he would have stopped pestering Flora ages ago. If Koa had cared less - or perhaps more accurately, if he'd cared more - he would have taken the hint the first five times and made a point of steering clear, staying far from the Double Take and her kingdom's shores.
But Koa does care, he cares an awful lot, which is something he's only now really realizing, a revelation made tangible by Ronin's gentle scolding, as sudden and strong as the smell of muddled mint. Koa is an idiot, that much is well-established, but rarely is he self aware enough to see that idiocy crystalize so clear.
"Thanks, Ronin. For this." The face he turns back to the Knight is quietly resolute, though not without the flush of humility, the spiderwebs of pain. "I've never been good at... well, this." He gestures to the air between them. "Talking. Especially where, like, real shit is concerned." The Carpenters are a stoic people - at least, on his mother's side. "But you're totally right. I can't just wait and hope things will figure themselves out, or pretend it'll be okay. It isn't fair. Flora deserves to know what I feel about her, and if it means she never wants to see me again... well." He shrugs, a tragic hero set now on a doomed quest, ready to accept his martyrdom. "It'll suck, but I'll understand."
Koa Carpenter
Feel your breath course frankly below And see life as a worthy opponent
It's with a warm smile and a gentle raise of his eyebrows that Ronin silently challenges Koa's question - like with Anju, he doesn't have the answers to this. Only Flora does, and the dragoon knows full well that finding out is the harder path. "I think," the Knight hazards nonetheless, so the boy isn't left entirely hanging, "that she wants what most of us want. To feel as though she's worth it. That she's important. And not for five minutes or five hours or an evening. Not until the next best thing comes along. For the long haul."
And Ronin has been lucky enough to find that in his life; lucky enough to absolutely wish it for other people, especially his daughter.
"Talking is harder than swinging a sword," Ronin agrees with a scoff and a nod, already turning back to tie some more cheese to his impromptu fishing line, tossing it off the edge of the pier. "Bruises heal quick from swordplay - conversations tend to have lasting consequences." Sitting back up to face the water, he does flash a parting grin over his shoulder at Koa.
"I'm saying one of these things because I want to, and the other because I have to. Good luck, whatever happens. And if you hurt my daughter, I'll kill you."
