BARTIE
alone
at last
at last
What do most parasites want? It was a thread that, despite all her ruminating, Bartie had never thought to follow. She understood the Family as parasites, and knew that they wanted (or, at least, claimed to), but she had never thought about tracing want back to their parasitic nature.
With each moment Deimos further indulged her, she was forgetting his rank and its relation to her own. She watched him now, seeing him through the only lights she really cared about; as a man talking to her of monsters. Unblinking, she watched him intently, fascinated to watch the gymnastics of his mind play out in his actions and countenance. “I’d never thought of that,” she confessed. “I’ve never thought of parasites as wanting. Leeches pursue blood, I suppose, but I don’t know if they want. I find anthropomorphising lives so different from our own does them a disservice. On what basis am I to presume they work like myself, or others? But I never thought to question if the Family wants. It could be more… instinctual.”
Full of new thoughts, new ideas, Bartie only half listened as Deimos spoke further, not out of disinterest, but because this was fun. Tonguing the back of her snakebites, she nodded along both to his words and her own racing mind. Everything Deimos was giving her was being drunk in, dissected, and interpolated into the libraries she’d built within herself. If she could take this conversation and hold it within her mouth, she’d savour it like a boiled confection, the itch to bite gnawing at her but resisted just to cherish such a rare pleasure.
“Mm. I agree. Nothing in nature is without a weakness. Often, it’s the reverse of the mechanism that also makes it powerful, built into the method of survival. When you say elemental means have worked,” She drew her gaze out of the middle distance and stared him straight in the eyes, “how? Which? How, exactly, did they respond?” A second passed, before even she remembered herself and blushed. “Apologies. You probably came to write all that down. I can read it, the same as everyone else. This subject is… I find it…” Words, when it came to feelings, often failed her. She trailed off, and just looked up at him, braced for a scolding.
With each moment Deimos further indulged her, she was forgetting his rank and its relation to her own. She watched him now, seeing him through the only lights she really cared about; as a man talking to her of monsters. Unblinking, she watched him intently, fascinated to watch the gymnastics of his mind play out in his actions and countenance. “I’d never thought of that,” she confessed. “I’ve never thought of parasites as wanting. Leeches pursue blood, I suppose, but I don’t know if they want. I find anthropomorphising lives so different from our own does them a disservice. On what basis am I to presume they work like myself, or others? But I never thought to question if the Family wants. It could be more… instinctual.”
Full of new thoughts, new ideas, Bartie only half listened as Deimos spoke further, not out of disinterest, but because this was fun. Tonguing the back of her snakebites, she nodded along both to his words and her own racing mind. Everything Deimos was giving her was being drunk in, dissected, and interpolated into the libraries she’d built within herself. If she could take this conversation and hold it within her mouth, she’d savour it like a boiled confection, the itch to bite gnawing at her but resisted just to cherish such a rare pleasure.
“Mm. I agree. Nothing in nature is without a weakness. Often, it’s the reverse of the mechanism that also makes it powerful, built into the method of survival. When you say elemental means have worked,” She drew her gaze out of the middle distance and stared him straight in the eyes, “how? Which? How, exactly, did they respond?” A second passed, before even she remembered herself and blushed. “Apologies. You probably came to write all that down. I can read it, the same as everyone else. This subject is… I find it…” Words, when it came to feelings, often failed her. She trailed off, and just looked up at him, braced for a scolding.
terribly, completely
alone
alone
