Maea
I feel it in the wind, my dear
The sun is gonna reappear
The sun is gonna reappear
Every word sliced deep into Maea's perception of who she was. Who she understood herself to be. Cut the conviction that she didn't care about people. Cut the falsehoods she had been draping herself in, that spoke of the futility in trying, in doing anything for anyone - because they all died anyway, right?
The truth was, she hadn't tried.
Sure, she left home to ease the burden on them, but she also spent the weeks cowering in a tavern, waiting for the darkness to go away while the Outlanders risked their lives to bring about change. Sure, she had tried to establish a leadership in the past, but at the first hint of opposition she had given up. Wasn't that the same in all that she did? Half-hearted, conflict avoidant, unable to commit herself to any cause or see anything through. Even during the war; she had never picked a side, just ducked her head and stood undecided until the tides washed over her.
Ah, it was humiliating. For someone who kept insisting she never did anything half-way... it was just pathetic. What kind of strength was there in surviving if she'd only ever run away from the challenges she faced? Not once had she really tried to overcome them. Not even once.
And her family... That hurt the most. Because she knew her brother loved her. He had done so much for her, and when he finally needed her - she had not been there. And the Children, and –
Tears stung her eyes, out of shame as much as rage and frustration. Maes tried to turn away, but the spirit of Lianna swept past Thalassa and drew up right before her. Icy cold hands cupped her face, and Maea found herself unable to look away.
"You were only a girl", a distant voice whispered, faint yet clear enough for the two women to hear. "Sick and blind and defeated by the world before you ever had a chance to know it. How can you be responsible for what happened? All you would have achieved would be to perish alongside us. And then what? Would that really make your brother happy? You know him - tell me he would wish you dead."
"I - but... " Squirming in the ghostly grasp, her cheeks were growing numb with cold. Maea couldn't breathe, choking on despair; "But I left you..."
"And you lived. Even now you live. That was always the point, moonflower. Why else did we work so hard?"
A tear escaped the corner of Maea's eye and rolled down a pale cheek. The cold of the room grew intense enough for frost to crawl up the windows, their breath fogging in the air. The fires dimmed, hushed into an eerie bluish glow while the spirit grew steadily more visible; her eyes a lovely shade of meadow green, framed by golden hair. Beautiful, ethereal - even now her smile seemed to radiate kindness.
"Don't give up, you hear me? Keep living. Even if you have to run. Even if you're on your hands and knees, even if no one else understand - we raised you to endure. So endure."
Radiant eyes seemed to glow from within as they turned for a moment onto Thalassa, and the smile the spirit offered was warm and proud.
"You are not alone, after all. If you can't live for yourself... live for them."
The light spread through the woman's figure, and for a moment she appeared as she had been in life. Tall, fair, her posture like that of a queen rather than the shepherd's wife. The light she cast was warm and soothing and made the tears on Maea's cheeks glisten like tiny diamonds. It grew blinding, impossible to look at - then, in a wistful sigh, she was gone, the spirit nowhere to be seen.
Maea sank down onto the floor. Buried her face in her hands, beyond pretense, unable to keep the tears from overflowing. She had thought she couldn't cry more over her family... but it seemed that too had been a lie.
The truth was, she hadn't tried.
Sure, she left home to ease the burden on them, but she also spent the weeks cowering in a tavern, waiting for the darkness to go away while the Outlanders risked their lives to bring about change. Sure, she had tried to establish a leadership in the past, but at the first hint of opposition she had given up. Wasn't that the same in all that she did? Half-hearted, conflict avoidant, unable to commit herself to any cause or see anything through. Even during the war; she had never picked a side, just ducked her head and stood undecided until the tides washed over her.
Ah, it was humiliating. For someone who kept insisting she never did anything half-way... it was just pathetic. What kind of strength was there in surviving if she'd only ever run away from the challenges she faced? Not once had she really tried to overcome them. Not even once.
And her family... That hurt the most. Because she knew her brother loved her. He had done so much for her, and when he finally needed her - she had not been there. And the Children, and –
Tears stung her eyes, out of shame as much as rage and frustration. Maes tried to turn away, but the spirit of Lianna swept past Thalassa and drew up right before her. Icy cold hands cupped her face, and Maea found herself unable to look away.
"You were only a girl", a distant voice whispered, faint yet clear enough for the two women to hear. "Sick and blind and defeated by the world before you ever had a chance to know it. How can you be responsible for what happened? All you would have achieved would be to perish alongside us. And then what? Would that really make your brother happy? You know him - tell me he would wish you dead."
"I - but... " Squirming in the ghostly grasp, her cheeks were growing numb with cold. Maea couldn't breathe, choking on despair; "But I left you..."
"And you lived. Even now you live. That was always the point, moonflower. Why else did we work so hard?"
A tear escaped the corner of Maea's eye and rolled down a pale cheek. The cold of the room grew intense enough for frost to crawl up the windows, their breath fogging in the air. The fires dimmed, hushed into an eerie bluish glow while the spirit grew steadily more visible; her eyes a lovely shade of meadow green, framed by golden hair. Beautiful, ethereal - even now her smile seemed to radiate kindness.
"Don't give up, you hear me? Keep living. Even if you have to run. Even if you're on your hands and knees, even if no one else understand - we raised you to endure. So endure."
Radiant eyes seemed to glow from within as they turned for a moment onto Thalassa, and the smile the spirit offered was warm and proud.
"You are not alone, after all. If you can't live for yourself... live for them."
The light spread through the woman's figure, and for a moment she appeared as she had been in life. Tall, fair, her posture like that of a queen rather than the shepherd's wife. The light she cast was warm and soothing and made the tears on Maea's cheeks glisten like tiny diamonds. It grew blinding, impossible to look at - then, in a wistful sigh, she was gone, the spirit nowhere to be seen.
Maea sank down onto the floor. Buried her face in her hands, beyond pretense, unable to keep the tears from overflowing. She had thought she couldn't cry more over her family... but it seemed that too had been a lie.
Good days are gonna come along
Hold on, hold on!
Hold on, hold on!
