Soleil
Her dad has always been so strong. So much stronger than she could ever hope to be. Maybe there will come a day when Soleil realizes her dad is not infallible, but today there's not even a moment of hesitation or doubt as to whether he can withstand her weight be it physical or emotional. She turns her face into his neck as he pulls her closer and lets her body sag into his as her eyes burn and her shoulders shake. The newness of her doubts that she might not deserve this can't withstand the unshakeable faith that he'll catch her no matter what.
The rumbling in his chest isn't exactly the same, but if she closes her eyes it's close enough that it still works to quiet her crying enough to really hear him. The thrum of each word in his chest and throat is encompassing, driving home every point. "What does adventuring matter? What am I achieving calling myself that except being selfish?" Her tears are hot and messy against his throat, smearing pitifully on her cheeks as she shakes her head slightly. "My adventuring didn't help us rebuild. It didn't keep us safe. Luka stays here, why couldn't I?" Why is her heart so wild and always yearning? Why can't she control it? Why doesn't she want to? Doesn't that make her a bad person?
Her dad's confession is shocking enough that it snaps her to attention and out of her own misery, pulling away enough to open her eyes and find his, stunned. "What? No! Of course it wasn't your fault!" She leaps to his defense with immediate ferocity. It had hurt when the two had left, and she can't imagine how much worse it was for her dad, but there was no way it could have been his fault. "They just followed their hearts somewhere else. That doesn't mean you didn't do enough. They know you love them, and we know they love us." Right? Surely there hadn't been more to it that she doesn't know about? And if she's blind to her own hypocrisy it's inevitable, certain she deserves the blame when others don't for the same sins.
The rumbling in his chest isn't exactly the same, but if she closes her eyes it's close enough that it still works to quiet her crying enough to really hear him. The thrum of each word in his chest and throat is encompassing, driving home every point. "What does adventuring matter? What am I achieving calling myself that except being selfish?" Her tears are hot and messy against his throat, smearing pitifully on her cheeks as she shakes her head slightly. "My adventuring didn't help us rebuild. It didn't keep us safe. Luka stays here, why couldn't I?" Why is her heart so wild and always yearning? Why can't she control it? Why doesn't she want to? Doesn't that make her a bad person?
Her dad's confession is shocking enough that it snaps her to attention and out of her own misery, pulling away enough to open her eyes and find his, stunned. "What? No! Of course it wasn't your fault!" She leaps to his defense with immediate ferocity. It had hurt when the two had left, and she can't imagine how much worse it was for her dad, but there was no way it could have been his fault. "They just followed their hearts somewhere else. That doesn't mean you didn't do enough. They know you love them, and we know they love us." Right? Surely there hadn't been more to it that she doesn't know about? And if she's blind to her own hypocrisy it's inevitable, certain she deserves the blame when others don't for the same sins.
my head's in the sky but I'm falling backwards
